Looking cool Joker! | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 175 KB JPG 08/22/24(Thu)17:49:14 No.686395874 >someone tells me Persona 5 is one of the greatest RPGs of all time >I'm impressed by the style and premise, seems really cool >buy it >play it for a little while >eventually dawns on me I'm not playing a video game >realize I've instead been suckered into watching a 120 hour anime series where I occasionally click a button what the f--- is this s---

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon turned straight | /r/Greentext

Board /adv/ - Advice Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)18:03:03 No.31869639 >>31869649 >>31869762 Settings Mobile Home >>31869647 >Be me, gay married for 7 years to high school sweetheart, both 27m >Get job at Domino's as a pizza maker, make friends with manager, a biological female 32 f named Raven >Start getting boners when I see women now, bored of gay sex >Staying late with Raven cleaning up after everyone leaves. She sucks my d--- in the cooler, I stay hard >Go home and shower, husband jumps in and starts fingering my a------, I don't get hard, hes upset >Next night I f--- and c-- in Raven after work. This continues every night for three weeks until she tells me she's pregnant yesterday >Today I plan on telling husband Im not gay anymore and want to leave him to marry Raven and raise this kid and Raven's other kid. F--- do I say? Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)18:06:33 No.31869647 >>31869639 (OP) # I thought you colorful people were about freedom and exploring Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)18:07:13 No.31869649 >>31869639 (OP) # fake and gay Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)18:33:17 No.31869750 the worst part of this is you are straight and have no idea how gay men like to have sex. you're too straight to write gay fanfic, yet here you are, writing the lamest gay fanfic of all time. just go back to jacking off 6 times a day i'm sure that wil make you feel fulfilled Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)18:36:11 No.31869762 >>31869926 >>31869639 (OP) # you're the jk rowling of gay fanfiction Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)19:11:30 No.31869926 >>31869762 # He's 837 pages short of a JK Rowling-tier effort though. Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)19:15:25 No.31869938 Just leave dude. Your biological need to reproduce has awakened. He'll move on. Don't waste his time any more

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Anon isn't ugly | /r/Greentext

Medium Small LOAD SIZE Large ☐ Anonymous 08/23/24(Fri)21:23:24 No.74969061 >Cute cashier drops change in fatty's hands >Gently places it in mine and tells me to have a nice day Its the little things Success stories / Made it feels >> Anonymous 08/23/24(Fri)21:26:43 No.74969083 ☐ Anonymous 08/23/24(Fri)21:33:12 No. 74969140 >cashier puts please use next register sign just as I get there >still rings me up >tells me to have a nice day I hate you all

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HRY PTTER | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/23(Sat) 17:11:53 No.192987747 2944861-hogwarts.jpg 100 KB JPG >school with teenagers with hormones out of control >Teaching students spells like >Obliviate >imperio >Wingardium Leviosa >Colloportus >Petrificus Totalus Yea I'm sure nothing bad happens

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Blind trust | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/17/24(Sat) 08:59:19 No.202579035 ezgif-2-63afeb7475.png 1.07 MB PNG >Youre telling me my chemist brother in law who I interviewed about missing chemistry equipment and who came into a bunch of gambling money, payed my medical expenses and just bought a 10 million something dollar carwash is a METH COOK?!!

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Game studios tricking VC firms into burn their money will never not be funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 169 KB JPG 08/23/24(Fri)04:37:07 No.6867517 >5v5 hero shooter >$40 price tag or f2p >paid weapon skins >paid operators >battle pass >50-150 million dollars budget You might think this is just a joke or an exaggeration, but there are probably at least 5 different studios pitching this idea right now and people in suits willing to approve it.

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anon 'takes' a shit! | /r/Greentext

نے 98 KB PNG 6 Replies >weigh myself >take a s--- >weigh myself again >weigh more View Thread Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)17:26:58 No.46339531 >>46338615 (OP) # >weight self >take s--- >weigh self again >weigh 11lbs less Imao what the f--- : Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)17:27:54 No.46339554 >>46338615 (OP) # >take a s--- Well put it back, retard

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Harry Potter and the Fractional Reserve Banking System | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_4709.jpg (21 KB, 220x303) Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)12:55:20 No.202765745 >>202766072 >>202766794 >>202766988 >>202767414 >>202769254 >>202769460 >>202770415 >>202772752 >>202774015 >>202774153 Harry. Have I ever told you about goblins? Spiteful, greedy little creatures. In the muggle world they go by another name. ☐ Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)13:28:07 No.202766680 >>202766778 >>202766801 >>202766988 >>202769566 >>202771396 >>202772109 >>202772759 >>202774073 >>202774322 wha... what name professor... Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)13:31:34 No.202766778 >>202766680 Romanians Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)13:39:09 No.202766965 >>202770450 >Professor, why can't I keep my money in a bank owned and operated by other wizards like me? ☐ Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)13:57:18 No.202767414 File: Bwnku5qCCAA2WhC.png (278 KB, 600x384) >>202765745 (OP) >Harry have you been told about our wizard currency? All our coins are minted by goblins who engrave their personal 6 digit serial number on the rim. What you might not have been told is that under goblin law any manufactured good remains the personal property of the goblin who made it. >Those coins in your pocket truly belong to any number of goblins and by using them as tokens of exchange for goods and services within the wizarding world you have agreed to pay interest on those coins as part of your vault contracts signed by you parents parents great grandparents. In the muggle world this practice goes by another name. Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)18:26:12 No.202772752 >>202765745 (OP) >Harry. Have I ever told you about transfigurators? Hateful, self-destructing pitiful wizards. In the muggle world they/them go by another name.

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Anon seeks relationship advice. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Little Brother got a gf before(...) 05/08/23(Mon)10:23:47 No.73243447 11 KB PNG >mom is happy >be me >22 year old >never had a gf or sex in my life >no idea how people get into relationships >no idea how to obtain casual sex >come home one day >never seen her this happy before >ask her whats up >she says that my little brother has a gf >mfw my 16 year old brother got a gf before me >ask him how he did it >he looks at me funny and smirks >"what do you mean? It just kind happened idk what I did exactly" God I hate this earth and my life. W-- does "it just happened" mean? Why wont he share his secrets with me? I want to unironically hurt this little s---.

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Wand go BOOM! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/17/24(Sat)03:41:20 No.202569771 main-qimg-b3edd64e93fad09f533d08b5b955a84e-lq.jpg 44 KB JPG >Professor, because I grew up among muggles, I know about their weapons. They have one that can kill any dark wizard >What is it, Miss Granger? >It's called a gun

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Anon makes a disturbing discovery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/22/24(Thu)21:28:17 No. 123302655 >>123302702 >be hella antisemitic cuz duh >favorite band is Infected Mushroom >always assumed they were Ayrabs cuz they sometimes play ouds (that Ayrab stringed instrument you always hear in desert levels for vidya) and sing in sandspeak >turns out they're israelis >f--- Have I been brainwashed by sheenie magic? | mean I've paid to see 4 concerts so maybe they're actually s--- but I've been successfully cast under their spell?

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Anon likes dark humor | /r/Greentext

Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ Auto] 9 new posts File: E85yDXaWQAAar2S.jpg (65 KB, 900x1273) آیبیواکا MANIFESTLY NOT SAIGON Anonymous (ID: KLYwpuQs 08/16/21(Mon) 16:16:23 No.334562861 >>334563371 >>> >>334566036 >>334566126 >>334566339 >>334566613 >>334566854 >>334567084 >>334567246 >>334567323 >>334567560 >>334567631 >>3345 >>334573272 >>334573385>>334573810 >>334574142 >>334574170 >>334575320 >>334575563 >>334576126 >>334576519 >>334576758 >>3345 https://twitter.com/Afghan Urdu/status/1427203599508066309 Anyone have the video or higher res of these dudes holding onto and falling off the outside of the plane after takeoff? kek Anonymous (ID: KLYwpuQs) 08/16/21(Mon)16:17:24 No.334562994 https://twitter.com/umar527/status/1427226344379801603 Anonymous (ID: ZDakXXOX) File: 1542825862989.jpg (381 KB, 1200x1200) >>334569027 08/16/21(Mon)16:19:56 No.334563371 >>334567333 >>334562861 (OP) Anonymous (ID: YYSTIKHI Ho Chi Minh wiched ho had thoco antire 08/16/21(Mon)16:30:14 No. 334564875 >>334565223>>334566717>>334566791>>334566952 >>334573921>>334576909 File: 17546934538.jpg (40 KB, 450x450) >>334562861 (OP) >COME SEEEEEEE EEEEEEE! اواكا Anonymous (ID: m05Hs9ga) 08/16/21(Mon)16:40:02 No.334566339 334577463 >>334577712 >>334562861 (OP) Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Suicide Bomber" Anonymous (ID: EbuzZUDK) 08/16/21(Mon) 17:51:32 No.334577463 >>334578815 File: Five_star_post.jpg (88 KB, 287x360) AW S--- >>334566339 (You) >Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Suicide Bomber" I keked FIVE STAR POST Anonymous (ID: ppYerXDm 08/16/21(Mon)17:53:09 No.3345 >>334566339 (You) criminally underrated

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The duality of Anon | /r/Greentext

File: 50a2be08870415b5722eae6d1(...).jpg (205 KB, 1447x2047) YEA I don't know who can I ask about this. Anonymous 08/23/24(Fri)02:13:37 No.923292039 ►>>923292146 >>923292410 >>923292839 >>923293236 >>923293970 ☐ GAM I might be a "minor attracted person". I have recently been quite amicable with a lady who is 13. She is a friend of my family, and we have spent surprisingly a lot of time together this summer. He is a bit weird, probably autistic, and she has told me that she finds me very attractive. She doesn't really get along with people of her own age. As a matter of fact she has been kind of bold with her advances, and they have not been subtle. Before this I really didn't think underaged girls were attractive, but she is just so delightful and pleasant. She isn't bitchy at all. How do I get rid of these feelings? I do trust myself enough not to do anything with her but I don't like the temptation. Anonymous 08/23/24(Fri)02:15:27 No.923292125 ►>>923292571 A bullet to the brain should do the trick >> Anonymous 08/23/24(Fri)02:15:56 No.923292146 >>923292039 (OP) marry her in a state that allows child marriage

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