Day in the life | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

⠀ Anonymous (ID: TYGpr1FO) 239 KB PNG 08/14/24(Wed) 06:09:56 No.58861819 >work early in the morning >wake up tired >go to work >jump on Google meet >boss is also tired >we all log off and go to bed Why doesn't this ever happen?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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"why yes i am perfectly sane, how did you know?" | /r/Greentext

RYAN GOSLING THE EMILY BLUNT FAH ONLY IN THEATERS MAY Anonymous 08/15/24(Thu)01:08:38 No.202494892 >>202495596 >>202496672 >>202498130 >>202498270 >>202498294 >>202499760 >>202499783 (You) My wife sucks and doesn't like my drinking. Today she took me to see Fall Guy. Big mistake. First off I call my wife toilet brains because she can eats up practically any info you give her, like a good toilet. She's extremely intelligent and it's been nearly impossible to hide the gay stuff I do behind her back, so when you see me call her that don't take it the wrong way. For three full hours I watched Ryan Gosling do the sickest f------ stunts imaginable and violently rip apart Emily Blunt's dead body in car crash after car crash I'm pretty sure. I was drunk. But it got me thinking... What if my wife and kids died doing stunts for a movie and I got all the money just like Ryan Gosling in Fall Guy? So when that horse s--- finally f------ ended I beaned her temples with my palms like they were bongo drums and said "hey toilet brains shut the f--- up, you don't talk when I drink, I'm gonna make you famous ya worthless idiot" My wife and kids died doing what they love, riding in the car with me while I do drunk driving donuts. She wasn't wearing a seatbelt so when the car started rolling my wife flew out the window and tumbled through the sky head over heels like a beautiful angel or a throwing knife in CoD, rip my wonderful wife and kids I hope I win big in Vegas with your insurance money so you didn't die completely in vain and forgotten.

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Nazinon tries being funny in Germany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/18(Wed)07:23:29 No.5245454 >On 18 July 1944, during a strategy conference in the Wolfsschanze,[6] a fly began buzzing around the room, allegedly landing on Hitler's shoulder and on the surface of a map several 73 KB PNG times. Irritated, Hitler ordered Darges to dispatch the nuisance. Darges suggested that, as it was an airborne pest, the job should go to the Luftwaffe adjutant, Nicolaus von Below. Hitler took Darges aside, dismissed him on the spot and had him transferred to the Eastern Front.[3] >>5245936 # >>5245994 # >>5246135 # >>5246730 # >>5246850 # >>5246877 #

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Anon gets the Dull Machete | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)09:22:41 No.654768470 1664612635984696.png 245 KB PNG >Guy gets bisected by piano wire >"HOLY F------ S--- THAT WAS AWESOME, GOLDEN CHAINSAW FOR SURE!!" >Camera zooms in on girl's ass >"yeeeah... this movie didn't age too well. Hey, any film- makers watching? Maybe... don't?"

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Last ditch attempt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/23(Tue)21:12:19 No.651415797 1664133857232596.jpg 335 KB JPG >every RE game some guy turns himself into a horrific monster to kill the heroes what is their plan if they win? be a giant monster thing forever?

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anon cant believe it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Human technological and Societ(...) 431 KB JPG 08/14/24(Wed)15:12:01 No.16960962 >modern humans first developed around 300,000 years ago >humans are estimated to have reached every continent except Antarctica 60,000 years ago >It took us 240,000 years to walk everywhere we could go without boats >after nearly a quarter-million years of discovering what our planet has, and finally reaching every corner of it, it will still take us another 48,000 years to learn that seeds make plants ??? >ffw another 7,000 f------ years and we've finally collectively made like 4 civilizations, and in another several millennia a couple more will pop up >ffw 5,000 more years (the 20th century) and we've gone from horse wagons to 7,000 MPH jets within a human lifetime taking this at face value, why has humanity developed exponentially? Is it literally just us deciding to spend more time making new stuff? IMO there had to be some sort of massive civilizations that are lost to time, there's no way we spend so long doing so little. Its unbelievable

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Anon gets girlfriend to stop vaping | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ADORLA SALTS WARNING: This product contains ARNING:This ProNicotine. Nicotine tans nicotine No is an addictive an addictive chen chemical. 152 KB JPG 05/05/24(Sun)18:50:06 No.917941448 >girlfriend has a bad vaping addiction >gets very frustrated with herself because she's tried several times to quit >idea >figure out how to take apart the juice bottles she uses and put them together all without looking like they were tampered with >use dilution formula to decrease the nicotine concentration from 50% to 49%, hiding the extra bottles of juice I used >she went through a bottle a week on her own >over the course of last year, I would lower her juice's nicotine percentage by 1 every bottle >she just hit 0% a month ago >unsure how to tell her, I waited >she quits vaping 8 days ago, saying she felt less and less urge to hit it >just told me this is the best and most confident she ever felt on quitting, and she's amazed with herself >hug her and tell her I'm extremely proud of her Yeah I'm not gonna tell her what I did, it boosted the hell out of her self-confidence thinking she quit on her own, and I'm not taking that from her

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Anon is The One | /r/Greentext

File: The Matrix.jpg (72 KB, 750x390) > Waken to green text on my screen > "Wake up Anon" > Holy_Shit.exe > This is it > "The r--- dwarf has you" > Oh no, no, no, no, no > Try to remember where my gun's at > "Knock Knock Anon" > Hear sharp knock at my door > F--- ☐ Anonymous 08/15/24(Thu)00:58:48 No.78493130 ► >Be me, hacker, alias 'Anon' > Feel there's something wrong with the world > Felt it my entire life > Like a splinter in my mind, driving me mad > Every night, stay up at my computer hacking to discover the truth > I know the question, just as 'he' did > One evening, fall asleep at my desk while hacking

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Anon sleeps on couch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 33 KB JPG 01/11/18(Thu)11:31:51 No.42419292 >>42419060 (OP) # >be me >have female friend >she wants to come to my place >chill, watch some movies, eat pizza, talk >It's getting late, she wants to stay overnight >k whatevs >prepare the couch for her >we go to sleep >10 mins later she crawls into my bed >she slightly puts her head angainst my shoulder >feel uncomfortable, think she wants to have the bed >I get up and sleep on the couch yeah, we never talked to each other again

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Anon is weird | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 164 KB PNG 09/22/23(Fri)19:48:30 No.40342171 >"Gosh Anon, I'd never r--- you!" >"To be honest, I don't think anypony could r--- you, no matter how hard they tried." >"You're so much bigger and stronger than us, you could just have your way with any mare you want." >"All she could do is lie down and take it as you thrust in and out of her warm, wet pony p----." >"Her moans would be drowned out by the loud, ferocious grunts you'd make as you assault her tiny womb with your virile human seed." >"And she'd be so embarrassed, she wouldn't tell the guards a thing. Because deep down she secretly enjoyed it, and wants you to do it again." >"But you'd never do that, would you? No, you're a nice guy." >"Oh, and I'll be leaving my door unlocked tonight. Just thought I'd let you know."

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Anon hates 2 factor authentication | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/14/24(Wed)16:18:42 No. 101894266 >>1018 >please enter your password to login >also 6 digit code sent to email >btw also a code sent to your phone >finally enter your pin because f--- you Okay, who should I be directing my rage at? Whose fault is this? BC 00 40 M

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Anon owns nothing and he's happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/24(Mon)22:18:04 No. 101743141 10:53 110 B 221 180% Memory/CPU r/selfhosted 379k members 315 Self-Hosters Join A place to share, discuss, discover, assist with, gain assistance for, and critique self-hosted alternatives to our favorite web app... See more #8 in Tech News & Discussion от justuseplexbro.jpg 950 KB JPG >spends $1000 on a NAS >spends $3000 on hard drives >spends $2000 on blu-ray discs or $5 a month on VPNs >spends $500 a year on maintenance because hard drives fail all the time >spends $300 a year on electricity >spends more time watching YouTube tutorials than watching movies CAN'T YOU SEE? THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN PAYING $30 A MONTH FOR NETFLIX

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Anon on life. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous R: 15/1:2 DUDE JUST WAGESLAVE FOR 50 YEARS LMAO 31 KB PNG Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon)04:32:33 No.78467174 >be born without consent >forced to go to school, practically forced to work >suicide is considered immoral and causes suffering, gets you locked up if you fail How is this fair? 08/12/24(Mon)06:41:18 No.78467832 >>78467174 (OP). >How is this fair? Nobody ever said it was.

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