Anon has schizophrenia | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)18:02:00 No.15768003 How do I cook this massive Wal Mart steak? 2.4 MB JPG Anonymous >>15768003 (OP) # 03/15/21(Mon)18:06:28 No.15768042 >massive - mass - Massachusetts >Wal Mart - Wal - Walled >Cook crook- crooked >steak - stake- wood- woods I know this is your way of telling me that I was wrong and I don't find it very funny. Maybe you won't find it funny anymore now that I let everyone see what you're doing. I'm not afraid of you anymore and I have nothing left to lose. >>15768066 # >>15768117 # >>15768172 # >>15768585 #

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Majestic impotence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: e/3E4/In) 08/07/24(Wed)06:43:47 No.477273299 King Charles_III_(July_2023).jpg 180 KB JPG >does literally nothing as his realm burns daily reminder Kings used to lead their men into battle. The f--- happened Imao

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Anon, a huge amount of water and a heavy dose of laxatives is usually enough to break these kinds of issues. You’re just going to be glued to the toilet for a few hours. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DO NOT ONLY EAT PROTEIN BARS Normal Bladder. Impacted 72 KB JPG Im poor -Uterus Rectum >Start s------- less 08/09/24(Fri)22:18:29 No.74875553 Holy f--- I cant stress this enough don't eat just protein bars >Be me >Two months ago find new protein bar that is only 150 calories but 20g of protein >F--- it gonna just eat these cause >Notice my gut growing >Cut down on protein bars but s--- stopped coming out of my ass >Uh oh >Go to doctor >Fecal impaction >They give me laxatives and wait an hour >Nothing >They shove a tube up my ass and give me an enema >Feels kinda good ngl >A little bit comes out, but not enough >Get rushed to surgery >Take out 25lbs of s--- >Leave with 100k in medical debt Jesus Christ this was the worst idea ive ever had. Please dont eat only protein bars just eat some fiber

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Anon's lunch is ruined | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 08/09/24(Fri)10:47:53 No.922609216 >tfw I cooked my favorite food yesterday so today I can have a nice lunch at work, and forgot to pack it into my backpack before leaving home. Man f--- my life

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Anon on Sidis. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: mHwqYtwk ) Waste of high iq in political (...) 33 KB JPG > Be me 08/09/24 (Fri)09:09:31 No.477611178 > Born in 1898, IQ between 250-300 > Child prodigy, reading by age 2, Harvard by age 11 > Math genius, giving lectures on 4D space as a teen > Everyone expects me to revolutionize science or something > Get tired of all the pressure and attention > Finish Harvard, but just want a normal life > Say screw it, decide to live low-key > Take low-paying jobs like clerk and machine operator > Write books under pseudonyms, no one knows it's me > Everyone thinks I'm a failure because I didn't cure cancer or something > Die at 46, mostly forgotten > High IQ, but just wanted to be left alone >mfw smartest guy alive just wants to chill

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Anon misses her dad (cameo from crystal cafe) | /r/Greentext

I miss my dad Anonymous 5 days 115679 [Reply] my dad died about 10 years ago. I'm 27 now and just A found one of his old books while moving. I miss him a lot f--- my mom. Anonymous 5 days 115680 >>115685 >>115679 what'd your mom do Anonymous 5 days 115685 >>115680 drove him to drink and then that killed him Anonymous 14 hours 115850 >>115679 That sucks I hope you can feel better

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Anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

45 KB JPG > be middle school loner with no friends > close to summer holidays > all students were told to read the book > having nothing better to do, read it > because school is inviting the obscure author of the book > he was the guest speaker during assembly > principal asks the school about what we thought of his book and questions about it > quiet, awkward silence > people were muttering nobody read it > felt bad for the author > told the author I enjoyed it and answered the questions > one question after another, only I answered > author was happy that I knew about the details > school staff felt less embarassed > after assembly classmates started to make fun of me > called kiss ass and book worm etc. > got the nickname ass-worm for the rest of the middle school mfw made an obscure author proud of his work in exchange of my dignity in middle school

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Anon makes food | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 KB JPG entire week 07/09/19(Tue)21:16:15 No.804264433 >be me >live with roommates >decide I'm tired of being a fat p------------ and start going to the gym >buy a s--- ton of healthier food >start doing meal prep for the >have a lot of s--- cooking at once >roommate walks in with one of her friends >"wow anon there's a lot of smoke in here" >turn on the fans and continue cooking >a few minutes later she comes back in >"anon w-- you're gonna set off the smoke alarms" >whyamialwaysafuckingbother.jpg >she starts opening the windows >her friend comes in the kitchen and starts watching me cook for a few seconds >smiles at me and says "well anon I think everything looks and smells amazing" >instantsmile.png >honestly the highlight of my day It's the little things anons

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Anon likes kitties | /r/Greentext

65.3 KB JPG >be me >recently started college >make zero friends >feel kind of depressed >decide to start going for walks >there are a lot of kitties out in my city >they are friendly >see kitties every day >most let me pet them >verysoft.jpg >loudpurring.mp3 >feel a little happier >thank you kitties

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Anon is a good guy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 575 KB JPG 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

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Anon is Visited by Family | /r/Greentext

File: 71f1liZELOL._AC_UF894,100(...).jpg (96 KB, 704x1000) MEL BROOKS' SADDLES 15 Never Give A Sage An Eyn Break Anonymous 08/10/24(Sat)21:05:42 No.202350838 >Be me >Have hyper religious grandpa (Seventh Day Adventist). Attends a church more Adventist than any other church in the state. >Super hard working. Still owns a VHS player and old timey TV >His entire film collection is G rated. Mostly stuff like Pollyanna and SDA sermons and seminars. >There's super strict guidelines regarding what my retarded cousin they take care of is allowed to watch. >He comes down south to visit with Grandma and a retarded cousin they both take care of. >We all bundle up in the car and go to Steak and Shake. >In the drive thru he makes a sex joke ("Why buy the cow when the milk is free") and gets scolded by grandma. >After we get our shakes I ask him what his favorite movie is and he says Blazing Saddles. Damn. I guess there was more to my grandpa than meets the eye.

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Thanks /b/ now Im depressed... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 115 KB JPG 08/10/24(Sat) 19:42:20 No.922689099 >be me >late 20s >5ft 4 >make little over 20k a year >cut that by a 3rd thanks to child support >forced to live with a parent who hates me just to survive >parent is also a hoarder >constantly surrounded by junk >barely in my kid's life due her mother fighting tooth n nail to keep it so >can't find a new gf due to everything listed above >I basically have completely given up and just waiting to die at this point Hell I don't even know why Im making this post. Maybe someone will see it and feel better about themselves comparing their lives to mine.

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Anon talks about American SMO | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SRJG9f1H) [⭑ day 897 286 KB JPG 08/09/24(Fri)17:17:41 No.477667019 >day 897 of the three day special operation to denazify Mexico >Mexico has invaded Arizona, they're mere kilometers outside of Tuscon >Another Apache has been taken out with a drone purchased off Temu >Joe Biden broadcasts a meeting with the joint chiefs where they all shrug their shoulders and say everything is fine, Joe Biden looks visibly shaken >Biden goes on TV and says Katie Hobbs needs to figure it the f--- out, Arizona is her problem >American troops just said f--- it and left, hundreds have surrendered to the Mexicans >CNN keeps live broadcasting positions of entire American tank columns, unaware that the Mexicans do, in fact, own televisions >Mexico, unsurprisingly, wipes out said tank column >Mark Milley hasn't been seen in two days >Another flawless victory for America

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