Anon sees Harry Potter | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 58 KB JPG 06/26/18(Tue)07:33:42 No.772622084 Happened a few days ago. >be me >take my girlfriend to the Harry Potter orchestra >it's prisoner of azkaban >should be pretty gud >get there, there's a ton of hp weebs >in full garb >casting spells and s--- outside the theatre >get inside >they f------ clap every 10 minutes >malfoy gets punched >everyone f------ claps and cheers >some offbeat scene that's not even funny >everyone claps and laughs >the movie finally ends >orchestra plays through the credits >people f------ stood and applauded when Emma Watson's name came up I was going to make up a story about how someone yelled DIS N---- FINNA BOUTA GET DABBED ON, but the truth was even more ridiculous

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Guilt by Association | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 08/10/24(Sat)11:07:49 No.78450055 509 KB PNG >Celebrities are f----- if they were in a photo with this guy.

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating 36 KB JPG snapchat on me >decide to make a fake account and hit her up on >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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Anon gets reminded he's single | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me 08/10/24(Sat) 15:15:20 No.78448301 58 KB JPG >walking to the grocery store >in front of me a small group of low class males >they stink of alcohol and cigarettes >they can't speak a single full sentence, their communication is more like a mixture of simple words and grunting >ugly, unhygienic, visible representation of financial as well as mental poverty >they talk about how easy it is to f--- women and how many ex girlfriends they had >those <90 IQ subhumans have no problem g----------- >meanwhile I as a 150 IQ, highly educated, very hygienic man earning more than thrice their salary am doomed to remain a p---- free permavirgin forever because no woman ever wants me >realize once again the blackpill of women being ontologically anti-intellectual >my day is ruined

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Anon discovers trauma | /r/Greentext

9:18 BOARDS /B/ /B/ 922664323 (5 97% Anonymous | 922664323 11.0 KB JPG >be me 32 min. ago ●●● >30yo with stable job and income, able to afford essentially whatever i want >emotionally stunted since my parents never really bothered to raise me >alcoholic abusive father >mentally unstable/traumatized mother >sexually assaulted by next door neighbor from when i was 6-8/9ish >parents knew and didn't say anything >basically feral >incredibly naive >believe and go along with whatever someone says because "why would people lie/be mean" >be controlled and manipulated by people for their own gain >moved around alot, never able to form long term/ deep connections >lose standing with the few good people in my life because of this s---, including childhood crush/one that got away >watch her get married to someone from that same friend group and see all the others at the wedding without me >mfw ill never be able to return to that >mfw i realized how this s--- affected me >mfw i didnt use to be this way >mfw its not even the first time this has happened >mfw when ive "made it" and i have nothing Today might be the day 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon complains about Steven universe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 47 KB JPG CN 08/09/24 (Fri)08:43:26 No. 144870076 >Able to build drones, huge robots and the like from parts used in everyday items >Has metal powers she can use to defend herself >Extremely tech savvy and has deep engineering knowledge >Literally becomes a Crystal Gem, indicating that she will join the main cast >F--- it let's make her a background character once we've established all of this What is the logic behind this? Anonymous 08/09/24 (Fri)08:46:12 No. 144870105 There is no logic, Peridot got sidelined. >>144870170 # Anonymous >>144870076 (OP) # >Steven Universe >Bad writing Am shocked. 08/09/24 (Fri)08:51:01 No.144870142 It's a show that had a lot of potential with what they set up. But as it went on it started to get more and more muddled, and because they kept pushing "certain agendas" CN tried to rush them out the door to a degree, meaning they had to focus a lot of their attention on wrapping things up sloppily.

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Anon is tired of collectibles | /r/Greentext

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A tale of two emperors | /r/Greentext

What's the historical explanation for this? What's the historical explanat(...) 08/04/24(Sun)19:27:32 No.16925940 Hitler-dan-Napoleon.jpg 46 KB JPG >Hitler >gets into a war with half of Europe and loses Remembered as evil incarnate >Napoleon >gets into a war with half of Europe and loses Remembered as a revolutionary genius

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Naval Support | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >I'm Buck 07/19/24(Fri) 18:08:03 No.201455811 IMG_7085.jpg 13 KB JPG 07/19/24(Fri)18:15:37 No.201455933 >And I'm here to f--- BRA..VO TARANTINO! : Anonymous >I'm Sneed >And I'm here to feed and seed BRA..VO GROENING

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Anon eats watermelon. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 美矯 08/10/24(Sat) 04:39:28 No.78448008 >dad bought watermelon >no, we're not black in case anyone was thinking it >I have a slice and it's delicious, strongest mouth watering flavor I've had in ages GUUUUUU>eat almost half of it 40 KB JPG beer alongside them >many hours later decide to have some proper food >make sandwiches and have a tall glass of >fast forward to this morning >wake up mid sleep to a rumbling painful belly ache >rush to the toilet and s--- my guts out >can barely s--- anything, but the pain and nausea is constant regardless >I've had drug withdrawals more pleasant than this >sweating like hell, stabbing stomach pain, feel like vomiting The good news is I took some medication earlier and it finally seems to be getting better. Anonymous >>78448008 (OP). 08/10/24(Sat) 04:44:00 No.78448029 Update: Oh god my ass is burning

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Anon Doesn't Understand the Prisoner of Azkaban | /r/Greentext

File: Padfoot.jpg (30 KB, 360x480) Anonymous 08/10/24(Sat) 19:47:24 No.202330160 ►>>202330280 >>202330324 >>202330340 >>202330342 >>202330351 >>202330633 >>202330657 >>202330749 >Sirius Black >is white Anonymous 08/10/24(Sat)19:59:30 No.202330324 ► >>202330160 (OP) >and as a potion teacher I hire Nazi wizard Serpentine Snake Anonymous 08/10/24(Sat)20:00:54 No.202330342 ► >>202330160 (OP) >sirius black >is not serious at all Anonymous 08/10/24(Sat)20:24:26 No.202330663 ►>>202330708 >>202330766 File: 1573507880568.jpg (43 KB, 700x467) London Travecant >You know, Harry, with great magical prowess comes great responsibility. Salazar Slytherin called it "Sorcerer's Burden." Myself, I just call it as I see it: the responsibility of the wizard to discipline the muggle. >Sirius looks seriously at the camera. >"The squibs, the goblins, the elves...It's our responsibility to civilize them. And if we can't? Then they shall dangle from the Whomping Willow. The Day of the Rope is near, Harry. We'll have every goblin in this country dead or in Azkawitz in 10 years, and may God have me killed by tripping and falling behind a mirror this very night if I'm wrong. God bless the UK Independence Party. Anonymous 08/10/24(Sat)20:29:59 No.202330766 ► >>202330663 he never said that

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >20 08/10/24(Sat)00:05:34 No.78447313 >woman driving past in car yells hey sexy is it time to ropemaxx 32 KB JPG Anonymous >>78447313 (OP) # 08/10/24(Sat)00:10:24 No.78447339 She was hitting on you, you stupid f--- And you ignored her and rejected her

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Anon gets a fecal impaction | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous DO NOT ONLY EAT PROTEIN BARS Normal Bladder. Vagina Impacted 72 KB JPG Im poor Uterus Rectum (ne canon) pected focal mass presses on vetva 5 beddy stretching pee foo >Start s------- less 08/09/24(Fri)22:18:29 No.74875553 Holy f--- I cant stress this enough don't eat just protein bars >Be me >Two months ago find new protein bar that is only 150 calories but 20g of protein >F--- it gonna just eat these cause >Notice my gut growing >Cut down on protein bars but s--- stopped coming out of my ass >Uh oh >Go to doctor >Fecal impaction >They give me laxatives and wait an hour >Nothing >They shove a tube up my ass and give me an enema >Feels kinda good ngl >A little bit comes out, but not enough >Get rushed to surgery >Take out 25lbs of s--- >Leave with 100k in medical debt Jesus Christ this was the worst idea ive ever had. Please dont eat only protein bars just eat some fiber

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