First Day on the Job Martini Mishap at Team Lunch | /r/Greentext
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![- File: I hate my life.jpg (153 KB, 935x827) I'm a fat aren't i? Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)16:57:02 No.77928290 [Reply] >Be me >>779289272-77928941: >Theyhavenofuckingidea.png >He kisses me >Go to this club with friends >See this guy (yes, a guy) who looked like a f------ female, blonde hair, dressed kinda like a emo (who i actually have a huge kink about) EXTREMELY feminine face and light eyes (i didn't notice if they were blue or green) >Approach him (who i thought it was a she) >Told me he's a male, and he's actually gay >Totallyhornyasfuckidontcaretbh.jpg >Tell him i'm actually bisexual (i'm not) >He start to get flirty with me, and touchy. >While dancing, he starts to touch my d---. >My friends see all this scene, and give me a thumbs up. >Whisper in my ear that he wants "more" >Follow him, we went outside the club >We get in this parking lot, and he start to suck my d---. >It was f------ diamond. >He gives me a condom that he had in his pocket, and i start to pound his ass >A f------ nice ass, but then i remembered that it was a guy >I hate the idea that this... thing that i was f------ had a d---, so i think to myself that he's a female. >He actually moaned like a female, not even in a manly way >I c-- extreamly quickly >He chuckles, remove the condom and swallows all the c-- that there was in it, and he starts to clean up my d--- as well. >After finishing to clean it up, he kisses me, and he went away. (Not even in the club, just f------ vanished) >Went back in the club, my friends thinks that i've f----- a 10/10 female. >It was actually a male. I mean, it's not gay until you put a d--- in your ass right? I hate my life, i hate being f------ homy. 3 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/845/107/087.jpeg "Anon isn't gay | /r/Greentext")
![Anonymous 06/06/14(Fri)16:10:14 No. 62519918 >>62528844 File: linkera.gif (95 KB, 450x504) IMMI >hating Miller >defending Bendis SHARING MY SUPERIOR TASTES, HMMMMMMM? LINKARA /CO/ STORIES MMN The hell is my fetish called? 06/06/14(Fri)21:44:27 No.62528844 >>62528984 >>62529170 >>62519918 As a dude who worked with Linkara on a daily basis. This gif sums up 90% of all interaction. Anonymous 06/06/14(Fri)21:50:44 No. 62528984 >>62529370 >>62528844 >a dude who worked with Linkara Care to tell stories? Anonymous 06/06/14(Fri)21:58:54 No.62529170 ► >>62528844 how big is his penis? is he a top or bottom? The hell is my fetish called? 06/06/14(Fri)22:05:54 No. 62529370 >>625 >>62528984 REMEMBER KIDS DRUGS ARE FOR LOSERS Maybe one, though I don't want to give away my identity as it'd get me in s---. Anyway, used to be employed by them, no longer for reasons. >At a con on break talking with fellow employee about girl I liked at time who also happens to be an employee >Lewis comes up and hovers (he does this alot, he'll stand by a conversation but not engage) > After a while he finally chimes in Lewis: YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDNT OBJECTIFY WOMEN LIKE THAT Me: I'm not Lewis: THEN WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HER? HMMMM? Me: Because she's employed and I don't know our policy for that. Lewis: WELL PERHAPS WE'D NEED A TIGHTER POLICY FOR THOSE OF US WHO WOULD TRY TO OBJECTIFY OUR STAFF OPENLY? Me: Lewis, chill. Friend: Lewis, for f--- sake. Lewis: I'm just saying mayyyybeee we shouldn't make the women feel uncomfortable? Maybe we should be a little more enlightened about this? >Keep in mind the friend I'm talking to happens to be a women and all I've asked is what steps to take to make sure I'm not screwing with some HR stuff. Lewis: So who is it we're talking about anyway? Me: It doesn't matter Friend: Look let's just go get some food >She tries to pull me out of it but Lewis f------ follows us to the near by food court area and sits with us Lewis: Oh come on, just tell me, It's not like I'll tell her or anything Me: For f--- sake it's [chick] Lewis: Oh...Well I wouldn't push your luck. She's a classy woman. >He waddles off, later she starts acting awkward around me and I get a letter from doug telling me it's fine to pursue relationships. That's cool and all but now everybody knows and I'm f-----. Ended up getting with her anyway for a short time but h-------- was awkward for a while. Okay okay one more story. >Lewis is doing lines for the hotel scene >Everyone wants to get to bed >Brad keeps joking that we should slip out the door and go chill at the hotel bar as the camera isn't even on us at the time and we've done our scenes >Head to the door Lewis: Stop, stop stop. Brad: What? Lewis: Um, Uhuh, You DO realise we're on a set here? Brad: Yup. >Brad leaves >Standing there about to head to the door as well, Lewis goes a------ Lewis: It's unprofessional to just leave another actor to do his scene alone! You're being unbelievably rude! Me: Sorry dude, but my scenes are done and I'm tired, I'm going to go downstairs. Lewis: ....Very well but I warn you not to tip the scales TOO much. > Head down to the bar, chilling with people down there for a while > Doug comes down Doug: Look...I'm only coming down because Lewis wants me to, uh, well I don't really know I guess just talk to you. Brad: Oh for f--- sake. Doug: Yeah, look, just stay for his scenes and if he asks I yelled at you both okay? Me: Yup. > Walking back up to room, Lewis is STANDING OUTSIDE OUR F------ DOOR Lewis: So, did you learn your lesson (smug as f--- look) >I start cracking up and have to leave, hear Brad just ripping into him before leaving >Still hear Lewis outside door muttering "uncivilised pathetic" etc etc > He's butthurt for the next three days.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/844/965/8f1.jpeg "Anon worked with Channel Awesome | /r/Greentext")
