Divide and Conquer | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Jun 11, 2024 at 03:21PM EDT
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Uploaded by Reddit Moments Jun 11, 2024 at 03:21PM EDT
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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
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File size: 70.5 KB
![File 1169870637.jpg-(3 KB, 150x150) 01/26/07(Fri)23:03:57 No. 19683185 [Reply] Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A. along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. >> 01/26/07(Fri)23:05:29 No. 19683269 I...LOVE YOU. >> 01/26/07(Fr)23:06:52 No. 19683341](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/835/777/db3.jpeg "M&M Eugenics | /r/Greentext")
