Anon Reflects on Evangelion | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 05/21/24(Tue)23:37:05 No.918703259 > OK boss, I've got a great new idea for an anime I want to direct > Neon Genesis Evangelion! > It's about my suicidal depression, existential dread and self-loathing > But told though the medium of giant robots and sexually frustrated teenagers > So the protag is a 15YO bitch who runs away from everything > Then there are two teenage girls who pilot the other robots > One's an emotionless ice queen, and the other's a fiery red head > The girls are 15, but we're going to draw them as hot babes, OK? > And they're going to wear either school uniforms or skin-tight catsuits > Sorry, did I say catsuit there? I meant 'plugsuit' which is totally different > Either way, the weebs will be jerking to this for the next 20 years > Picture a scene where the protag 'accidently' falls on the ice queen while she's naked and touches her boobs > And a scene where the red head takes off her bra and panties before putting on her plugsuit > Just to show that she's not wearing anything under it, right > She's got a crush on the protag, but hates herself for it, so she tires to sleep with an older man > What's that boss - this a bit too pervy for 15 YO characters? > No, I don't want to make them older > OK, how about a scene in the movie where the protag jerks over the red head while she's unconscious? > So he can be a surrogate for the audience's shame for jerking it to 15YO's? > And we'll do a remake in a decade where we make the red head's catsuit transparent

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Plain and simple 4chan. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ODGL810j 05/21/24(Tue)22:42:49 No.468753243 This cat is a n----- 1 MB WEBM Anonymous (ID: 1jtUP1GZ 05/21/24(Tue)22:43:53 No.468753324 Anonymous (ID: TL9ilEz8) 05/21/24(Tue)22:44:37 No.468753374 >>468753878 # >>468754126 # Anonymous (ID: aMSGF/XE 05/21/24(Tue)22:46:26 No.468753504 : Anonymous (ID: afeXVPRX 67 KB GIF 05/21/24(Tue)22:47:33 No.468753592 >>468753243 (OP) # you are a n-----, f-----

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i found it again, anon describes every cultivation ching chong novel | /r/Greentext

>>205342748 # You eat a pill, sit on your ass for several years and once you're done, you go from rank 8 ping- pong to rank 2 ching-chong, which is still still like hundred ranks below the Heavenly Golden Dragon God Emperor Star Ancestor, but it's okay since there are still about 3000 chapters to go and all big d--- characters that could kill you with a fart are currently busy, so you can go and wipe out a ding-dong clan, which obsessively wants you dead because you courted death by destroying the king-kong clan after its young master picked a fight with you over your jade- like beauty childhood friend.

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anon hates coughers | /r/Greentext

File: 1703184927876921.png (70 KB, 750x711) Anonymous (ID: SCW+R50k >be 2020 05/21/24(Tue)13:15:13 No.20344093 >corona just broken out all over the world >everybody hunkers down w/ cleanliness and germs >never gotten coronavirus once >because of that, the world is able to gradually heal until things get back to normal >4 years later, be 2024 >people barely give a s--- anymore and bite their nails 24/7 and never cover their loud disgusting sounding coughs >one a------ would cough every 10 minutes, to 5 minutes, and now coughs every minute now, also gave it to everyone around her and now the room is always filled w/ coughers >another bitch keeps coughing as loud as possible every 2-3 minutes, now it's literally every 20 seconds, also gives it to all her friends >some people literally cough right onto me and get all defensive when i get pissy at them and act like it isn't a big deal >worst part is none of these dumabasses stay home or even wear a mask to cover, just openly cough wherever they are like mindless t---- >have gotten sick with corona twice within the past three months because of this bs i'm really f------ over this b------- right now. did any of these retards learn anything about covid and not infecting other people when its obvious their sick?

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Driver of Technology | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 05/21/24(Tue)16:29:09 No.77571772 200 KB PNG >2010: You're not allowed to use your phone while driving >2024: Every car requires a touch screen to control every single function I wont be surprised if we'll have touch screen steering in the future.

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Anon is that ugly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.36 MB PNG 21/05/24(Tue)18:34:13 No.77569492 >on the bus >it's practically full >cute girl gets on >looks at open seat next to me >stands THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS WHY IM NOT EVEN THAT UGLY

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/fit/ anon was hoodwinked | /r/Greentext

File: garden-blocc-crips1.jpg (199 KB, 1920x1080) UNITED GANGS How to get used to a hood ass gym? Anonymous 05/21/24(Tue)23:00:01 No.74320661 ►>>74320682 >>74320689 >>74320701 >>74320714 >>74320871 >>74320904 >>74321057 >Be me >tiny asian boy who was raised in a top private school >went to college, saw how out of shape I was and decided to go to gym >applied for membership of a gym my friend recommend for nice service and good community >it was located in the down town of my place, and is actually ran by a charity >the first thing I saw upon entering the place are hoards black and brown men >and not like your normal black dudes, jacked up gangstas with crips bandanas and s--- >remembered my dude was buddies with some gangs when he was at HS >whatever, started working out >however, gets intimidated by these gangstas, like, a lot >they are built like baki characters and 6' while I am like 5'95 and look like the zoomer wojak >one wrong move and me, my bud and our families are getting drive by'd >sweat more out of fear of the crips than the actual workouts >couldnt really dare to ask my gymmates for anything from spotting to routines >plus constantly getting heart attacks in the changing rooms surrounded by steamed, sweaty black giants >and dont forget the constant fear of dudes lockpicking my locker and snatching my bags >so far, the dudes havent done anything visibly bad to me yet, but they are still eyeing on me and giving me the look like I did something wrong while working out >though the service is actually real good. Free sauna+spa plus some cheap massage, but still, filled with gangsters who look at me awkward How could I deal with this f------ gym? Theres a planet fitness nearby with the White and asian people but its 2 times as expensive and the perks of my gym are just too good to forfeit. Like, free sauna? Anonymous 05/21/24(Tue)23:02:36 No.74320674 >>74320677 didn't read, report cuckold spam

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Anon buys bread | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 55 KB JPG 05/21/24(Tue)12:44:13 No.77569472 >buy bread >next day it goes mouldy >days before expiry date what do? I heard putting it in the fridge just makes it worse View Thread 05/21/24(Tue)12:49:42 No.77569549 7 Replies Anonymous >>77569472 (OP) # >buy two loaves of sliced bread >put one in the freezer >the other in the fridge Are first worlders retards?

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Anon watches Jujutsu Kaisen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/06/23(Fri)09:49:50 No.258039282 Can someone explain to me what the main theme of JJK is? >Naruto emphasized teamwork and friendship >jojo has fate and taking the "right" path >one piece is about freedom and following your dreams >yyh has yusuke being more in tune with his emotions >mha is how society can influence people with certain "quirks" >even black clover has a "never give up" message and "poorfags can do stuff too" But I just dont get what JJK is trying to say with its story >>258039362 # >>258039365 # >>258039368 # >>258039405 # >>258039416 # >>258039447 # >>258039521 # >>258039562 # >>258040245 # >>258040265 # >>258040478 # >>258040691 # >>258041057 # >>258043816 # >>258045545 # >>258045757 # >>258046502 # >>258047221 # >>258048076 # Anonymous >>258039282 # 10/06/23(Fri)10:03:03 No.258039562 jjk is about naruto in the world of bleach with hxh autism >>258039739 # >>258039881 # made with mematic

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Britanon tries online dating | /r/Greentext

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Chad's inevitable downfall | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Any other fallen Chad's here?(...) 05/21/24(Tue)11:39:47 No.77566585 134 KB JPG >be me big d--- rich Chad with 10/10 big tiddy gf >c-- inside her 4 times a day >f--- her so much I get Ed >viagra doesn't work, get prescribed trimix injections >f--- gf 3+ hours straight with 110% erection everyday >injections lose potency so I increase dosage >increased too much >9 hour erection won't go away >turns blue >goes necrotic >doctor cuts off my penis in emergency surgery >no longer have penis >gf leaves me >only options now is asexual women or to become a t----- >girls swoon over me all day but I don't even have a d--- >become hikikomori to avoid shame >turn into fat ugly slob >father pretty much disowned me because I won't give him children >someone posted an old photo of me f------ my gf on r9k >try to jerk my stub to it >cry

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Anon complains about Chinese literature | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: jzVPdbix Why are chinks like this? 02/02/24(Fri)21:23:57 No.457323923 Chink Genocider.jpg 39 KB JPG >Be me >Read Chinese Animu Light novel >Protagonist achieves enlightenment through Taoism >"My body will rot, my mind will wither, but the heart is eternal. The heart is unchanged. Yesterday I cried, Today I mourn, Tomorrow I will advance. As a child I learned the innocence of life. As an adolescent, I learned the cruelty of heavens. And now, as a man, I learned how to fight and how to protect. To protect.... This is my Dao!!!" >PROCEEDS TO COMMIT A GENOCIDE WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST >PROCEEDS TO LITERALLY ETHNICALLY GENOCIDE HIS ENEMIES. >PROCEEDS TO KILL ALL OF HIS ENEMIES WHILE CHANTING TAOIST SCRIPTURES AND THE BUDDHIST CANON. What the f--- is this? Is this how the Chinks see enlightenment? To kill your enemies and show no mercy?

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Based anon's origin story | /r/Greentext

He was white btw. 112 KB JPG >be me >walk into Burger King place i havent been before. >Hello Id like the double whopper with cheese and bacon medium combo without onions. Can I also get 2 more ketchup packets? >Sorry we cant do that >(Lies.) >Ok no problem. >Drive back home and unwrap burger >It has onions. >Thats it, III take matters into my own hands. >Drive back to the store the next day, drift into the parking spot, making sure I make noise. >Wearing military gloves and carrying an empty military backpack stuffed with clothes. >my portable music speaker playing a remix of Manuels Gas Gas Gas but with the Subscribe to Pewdiepie quote randomly added throughout. >Barge in blasting music. >Terrified look on workers face >H-how m-may I h-help you >Lower the volume so he can barely hear me, compared to not at all. >HELLO, I came in yesterday, remember me? Ill get the same Whopper WITHOUT onions and you will give me three, actually no make it five, ketchup packets, got it? And make it fast, I got somewhere to be. >R-right a-away >order was ready in 4 minutes and I got 6 packages >didnt threaten him, didnt even mention or imply anything, he just got it. I don't know what he got but it was very convincing. Sometimes you got to take matters into your own hands... by doing absolutely nothing at all, I have no idea how this combination of style, character and music choice changed his behavior. (This all happened in my head and it is all fake.)

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