Anon's first time | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous I have a confession to make 225 KB JPG LIVE" >my heads perk up 04/27/24(Sat) 18:20:40 No.917546625 >be me >2004, 11 years old >new 10" bedroom TV is hooked up to the cable >11:00 at night watching some late night special >"and at midnight we will have the bare naked ladies performing >ears get fuzzy, there's a stirring in my loins >its_go_time.gif >I give my little guy some attention >anticipation building >there are some scantily clad performers and some risque commercials to keep me going >midnight rolls around, I'm trembling, my ears are warm, my toes curling >"Finally..." >my eyes are glued to the TV >"the moment you've all been waiting for..." >I'm about to burst >"The Barenaked Ladies" >I start to erupt >the curtains open >"Wwit's been, one week since you looked at me..." >pulses of pleasure break through overwhelming confusion and disappointment >I've never felt anything like this before, it's an out of body experience >drops of c-- spewing out of my little guy >my hand is sticky, I slip back into reality >this is it, there's no turning back >four flannel clad Canadian dudes were the subject of my first orgasm >I'll never be neurotypical again >It's been 20 years since I fapped to these, Barenaked Ladies on my bedroom TV

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Redditor goes to 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/24(Sun)09:29:44 No.917574262 is this the site where some of my FAVORITE memes like soyjak and gigachad were created? where are the greentexts though? 15 KB PNG Anonymous 04/28/24(Sun)09:30:26 No.917574284 >>917574262 (OP) # no sonny, your looking for leddit >>917574380 # : Anonymous >>917574284 # 04/28/24(Sun)09:33:44 No.917574380 i saw a bunch on r/greentext though : Anonymous yes Anonymous 04/28/24(Sun)10:10:46 No.917575433 04/28/24(Sun)10:15:49 No.917575588 >>917574262 (OP) # I will inseminate you : Anonymous 04/28/24(Sun)10:24:40 No.917575883 I have a greentext for you OP >be you >massive f----- >make this thread >should've killed my self instead

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Anon believes Buddhism would save the West | /r/Greentext

File: Blessed Lord Buddha.png (263 KB, 1068x292) HELL OF BARREN WOMEN 8:46 The Hell for Women Who Can't Have Children | Japanese Buddhist Lore 200 K visualizaciones • hace 1 mes Linfamy 00:00 Empress Kōmyō's Sin 02:05 Sin of Infertility 05:32 Nun Good Can Come of This SOURCES The. Subtítulos 3 capítulos Empress Kōmyō's Sin | Sin of Infertility | Nun Good Can Come of... Buddhism will save the West. Bloodtheism. Anonymous (ID: 90mKxbyF) 04/27/24(Sat) 16:44:18 No.466333975 >Lord Buddha, A---- prince >Buddhism, A---- religion >Europe, A---- land Buddhism must become the official religion of the Third Rome that will be an united Europe. May Lord Buddha bless you with a lot of white kids, my brothers and sisters in the A---- Race.

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Nah, I'd win | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Oceangate Titan 04/28/24(Sun)09:04:24 No.917572053 oceangate.jpg 321 KB JPG anyone else think they could have survived this? like I think all they had to do was open the hatch and swim upwards with maybe some extra oxygen tanks it's a really bad situation to be in, but I think I could make it to the surface, with God everything is possible

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And she was a good friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 496 KB JPG 06/05/19(Wed)04:32:28 No.66602384 >"Christopher, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Shelob? You know, the monstrous spider - descended from the vile Ungoliant! - which I used to read aloud of in our Oxford meetings of the Inklings? Well what I didn't mention back then was Shelob could also transform into a totally hot babe: all pale and dark and wan like Rebecca in Ivanhoe or what will later come to be known as the goth subculture. In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Stoya who will be born 13 years after I die. Christopher, I will be entrusting you with my estate. If there is ever a videogame adaptation of my work you must make sure they get this Shelob right - make sure she is what the Anglo-Saxons would have called a hæða ecge, a real sexy bitch." >>66602541 # >>66602957 # >>66603023 # >>66604084 # >>66604107 #

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Anon has a retarded arguement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 38 KB JPG 04/28/24(Sun)00:13:56 No.77288790 >Be me >Arguing with a femoid at work >She calls me a typical Ben Shapiro/jordan peterson fanboy >Say I hate Ben Shapiro because he's jewish >Her: "And you're an anti-semite" >Me: "5 seconds ago you implied im a loser for liking ben shapiro. Now im anti-semitic for not liking him, which is it? >Her: "ITS BOTH!" >Me: "No sweety its not. Pick one" >Her: "YOU F------ INCEL LOSER!" >She storms off nearly crying Currently on a 7 day suspension from work, have already got another job lined up. Feels good bro.

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Anon needs help with his gas mask | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HELP ME WITH GAS MASK 1.56 MB JPG 04/28/24(Sun)09:30:14 No.61511300 /k/ I have had this M40 gas mask for a while now and I haven't cleaned it yet, I left it in the box I got it in because I was planning on reselling it but I opened it a while ago and noticed it was an unholy level of filth, I cleaned the mask really good and got all of the debris out of it, and like a week ago I put a bunch of hand sanitizer and alcohol in the mask to kill bacteria or something, I opened the towel I had it in and saw this (pic related) this white spore s--- is on the bag, hose, second skin, and everywhere inside the mask and straps. I need to know how to completely sanitize this because it looks like it's gonna give me AIDS and I won't be surprised if it does. Should I immerse the thing and everything in bleach or something? Anonymous 64 KB JPG 04/28/24(Sun)09:34:24 No.61511311 >>61511300 (OP) # Please call your mom or dad and ask them how they're doing, and h---------- white mold. Maybe take them out to lunch, eh anon? >>61511344 #

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Thank you sarr | /r/Greentext

Anonymous band to a German Village A JPG | 242.23 KB Saturday 2024-04-27 21:34:46 3 hours ago 77291278 >your pm is indian if you're a brit >your vp is indian if you're American >your tech companies belong to us >starbucks belongs to us >chess belongs to us >the world bank belongs to us I have to say, being more hated than the Jews by you guys is an honour I brag to my friends about. It simply is comforting to know that whites see as a bigger threat than the Jews. I love coming to this website and seeing all the threads about Indians. It's how I start my morning. Thank you, sirs. 6 Replies 1 Image 5< REPLY

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Anon wanted to live American Dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 219 KB JPG 04/28/24(Sun)03:30:37 No.917545731 >tfw you never grew up in the United States of America >tfw you never did a roadtrip across the States with your family >tfw you never went camping and hunting in the woods >tfw you never visited Yellowstone or the Statue of Liberty >tfw you never experienced the Fourth of July fireworks >tfw you never attended a football game with your friends and family >tfw you never had a barbecue at your backyard >tfw you never went to a state fair for fried food and carnival rides >tfw you never had a Thanksgiving dinner with your family >tfw you never woke up happy you are living in the best country of the world I wish I were American. God bless America.

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plays Helldivers 2 for 1 second | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 04/28/24(Sun)10:59:48 No. 196578950 >born to early for terraforming >i'll never get to call someone a moonoid, marsoid on future int etc >i'll never get to mock their weird accents >i'll never get to call their space settlements a historylet, agelet etc >i'll never get to peddle earth supremacy

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Anon worries for doomers | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_3167.jpg (444 KB, 750x979) Lost Generation Anonymous (ID: c8hw3gmy) 04/27/24 What are the political implications of swaths of young men >never having sex or experiencing love >never being able to afford a home >being able to compete with women in education and income >being vilified by society >being addicted to the smartphone and internet

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Anon is enlightened | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 04/27/24(Sat) 19:26:11 No.77294358 There are no such things as chads and betas. It's b------- from our current cultural climate. It's not rooted in actual science even if it presents itself like it is. Your problems with sex are over determined. Unfortunately no one really has the complete solution to this, not even therapy. The honest best thing to do is find yourself a community or culture that values something other than sex. Religious and monastic communities seem to be the best for this. Not saying it's going to completely solve your problems but it will help you shift your focus onto something different. Your horniness will not be completely eliminated but you can regulate it. Many aspects of modern day youth culture are simply toxic psychologically speaking. The love of many has indeed grown cold and it's disheartening to see. But take courage. You're not completely alone.

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Anon doesn't like cartoons | /r/Greentext

NO! i am NOT weird for watching this KIDS SHOW. it has MATURE THEMES and there has been BLOOD! there is a joke that would go over most kids heads, and AS IF THAT WERE NOT ENOUGH a character is INSINUATED TO HAVE DIED OFFSCREEN! it's almost as if its a show for ADULTS just with visuals and jokes and themes and characters and writing tailored toward KIDS!!! I AM NORMAL THIS IS NORMAL FOR A 30 YEAR OLD TO BE WATCHING NICK JR Anonymous 04/27/24(Sat) 14:52:40 No. 198655510 >>198655538 >>198655540 >>198655833 >>198656071 >>198656260 >>198656282 >> Why are these people like this?

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