anon encounters the r--- dwarf | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 121 KB JPG 03/23/24(Sat)20:11:57 No.915815161 >be me >playing vidya with friends >find r--- dwarf post, tell friends >we kek at it, don't believe its real >hear my doorbell ring >didn't order anything, no one is outside >hear giggles >HOHOHOHO in the hallway outside my room well f--- me I guess, the r--- dwarves are real. Goodbye /b/ros

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon enjoys tentacles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >Be me 03/23/24(Sat)23:26:28 No.915811140 squid.jpg 70 KB JPG >Really into horror s--- >Decide to go to a bookstore >Go to the horror section and pick up a big book filled with H.P Lovecraft stories >cthuluwillrise.jpg >Go to the counter and see 7/10 cute goth girl with tattoos on her arm >Put book on the counter, she looks and says "Oh, that's a good one!" >Autism kicks in >"Yeah, I really enjoy tentacles!" >She gives me a disgusted look like I just p----- in her cereal >fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.png >Pay for the book and leave embarrassed I'm never going back to that bookstore again /b/ros. 3 Replies View Thread

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Getting through life | /r/Greentext

640.5 KB PNG >>399044395 (OP) >be me, 27 and single >play video games to relax in a one bedroom apartment >soiciety says to go get a wife and start being an adult >find a girl I like but she doesnt like me playing video games for hours. >to make her happy I sit and watch her reality shows and tv shows > dumbest s--- I have ever seen >bored out of my mind after work most nights >2 years into the realtionship and ask her to marry me >get married 6 months later > life consits of work, reality shows, stupid movies and sleep > is this life? > can only game a few hours a week >get into a huge fight about it >start playing video games after work >more arguments and I dont care >be me, 30 and single >play video games to relax in a one bedroom apartment

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You already know the rest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/24(Sat) 13:46:00 No.76877335 >be me >be 19 >be pretty sure Im straight

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The rape dwarfs return | /r/Greentext

196 KB JPG w--.jpg >Be me >chilling in the bathtub >pull up a p--- and grab lotion Finna jerk it >run water while doing it >suddenly water starts turning white and sticky >hear some weird scratching >turn off water >can hear it better >recognize the sound >that dragging sound in the walls >I've heard it before >nozzle bursts and 2 r--- dwarves shoot out >grip my c--- >start sword fighting with d---- >catch one off guard and wack it outcold.jpg >the other one bites my d--- >i instantly c-- >the orgasm distracts me >r--- dwarf jumps on my face and starts c------ in my nostrils >grab him with right hand and squeeze the f----- as hard as I can >explodes into green slime Not even the pipes are safe, which means no more water. Gonna have to drink my own piss from now on. Wish me luck bois

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what ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ | /r/Greentext

File: waking_up.jpg (145 KB, 715x546) Why is it impossible to exist? Suomynona 03/23/24(Sat) 15:16:36 No.76880301 [ >Cant have a religion >Cant have a gender >Cant have a race >Cant have a age >Cant have a body >Cant have a face >Cant have a opinion >> Anonymous 03/23/24(Sat) 15:18:18 No.76880314 >>76880301 (OP) >Can be a sponge

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Tis But a Scratch | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 LOUVELLIDE VIT TUNam ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous John Harvey Kellog 195 KB PNG is on its death bed 03/23/24(Sat) 15:12:32 No.76880260 >Be a doctor in the early 1950s >Have a strange obsession is m----------- >Also the inventor of cornflakes >VomitEmoji.jpeg >Promote circumcision as a means to eliminate m----------- >People believe it for some reason >Circumcision peaks in 1986 >Since then, the practice slowly shrivelled up and >Be me, born in 1986 >Circumcised >Still a chronic masturbator >If I was uncircumcised my foreskin would've fallen off by now How did people believe this?

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Not Processed Enough | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 03/23/24(Sat)14:57:23 No.915803411 1.56 MB PNG >Tendies? >No >III have the genetically modified GIGA TENDIE! Proof that we are living in the future. Anonymous that's not how it works op 03/23/24(Sat)14:58:46 No.915803464 it's shredded and re-pressed into that shape nice dubs thoughbeit Anonymous thats fish you retard 03/23/24(Sat)14:58:50 No.915803472

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Anon finds out how people bond | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 97 KB JPG 03/23/24(Sat)22:16:59 No. 76878511 >office job >new >working as IT >no one is genuine with me >yesterday >general managers birthday party >invited >went there >started chugging beers >2.5 liters of beer gone >cant even walk properly >start telling people that i love them >start hugging random people from office >last thing i remember is marketing manager offering me a c-------- >i just took one hit then fell asleep on couch >they woke me up >marketing manager took me to his car >back seat >start puking in his car >he starts laughing by the fact that im so f------ fried up that i dont care and vomit in his car >takes me home >thank him for taking care of me and apologize for the mess >"s--- happens mate" >today >everyone thinks i'm an cool and sweet guy >everyone thinks im cute or something when drunk >they say they absolutely gonna invite me to other activities and s--- Never in my life I thought being drunk could help with life bros

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Anon loses his virginity to a transsexual prostitute. | /r/Greentext

File: 17a.png (286 KB, 500x497) weird feels thread Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:53:06 No. 17019753 ►>>17019858 So I just lost my virginity to a transexual prostitute and I don't know if I should be proud I worked up the courage to, or ashamed of what went down >be me last night >2 weeks away from turning 21 >dont want to be that 21 year old who has never had sex >resolve myself to f--- a prostitute >originally planned to f--- a girl, but then came across this one listing >as far as trannys go shes a 9/10 >brazillian, proper t---, hot face, narrowish shoulders (only turn off was the big hands) >decide to just visit her since I've had a t----- fettish for years > after downing some vodka for courage call her to make an appointment >30 minutes later I'm at her apartment >Tell her this is my first time and asked if she could take the lead >she smiles and says sure "Just tell me what you're into" >pause >realize this might be my only chance to live out my domination fantasy >tell her to just be real rough with me and dominate me, make me her slave >afraid she'd be weirded out but she seems happy >Exact words "It's not every day I get to dominate a virgin" >feel relaxed that she isn't repulsed by my virginity and think all will be okay >what follows is 20 minutes of extremely degrading and horrible sex followed by 10 minutes of humiliation > as soon as I get naked she pretty much rapes me for 20 minutes telling me what to do >it was not how I had pictured it. >I was in so much pain both physically and emotionally but to afraid to tell her to stop >literally butt f----- for a good 10 minutes - pure agony > after she finished she jacked me off >as I get up to leave she pushes me back on the bed saying theres 10 minutes left >SHES THIS INTO DOMINATION > literally forces me to live on her bed and suck her balls for 10 minutes while she verbally abuses me >come home and cry myself to sleep >wake up, post this Don't ever give into the t----- fettish robots, it's not worth it. Before this I could probably maybe pass as a normie sometimes, but now I am irreversibly emotionally damaged. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:57:11 No. 17019822 ►>>17019841 Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:59:19 No. 17019858 ► File: 1422251274872.jpg (34 KB, 336x335) I can't. My ass still f------ hurts. I will never be able to forget that. F--- you to all the t----- trip f--- who promote a--- sex. >>17019753 (OP) holy f------ s--- >>17019796 Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:57:57 No. 17019841 >>17019866 File: 1422406840411.jpg (47 KB, 499x499) >>17019822 Wait, so you got f----- BY the t-----? Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:00:42 No. 17019877 ► LOL Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:00:05 No. 17019866 >>17019888 >>17019890 >>17020415 >>17019841 Yes. By the time the ordeal started I had been completely cured of my t----- fettish, I just wanted it to be over, I had no desire to f--- her the moment she started abusing me. It is not how you picture kinky sex. It is horrible. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:04:00 No. 17019927 ►>>17020105 File: 1416645231837.png (283 KB, 546x432) Well OP, that's that. You got butt-f----- by a t-----. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:18:12 No. 17020149 >>17020181 >>17020197 >>17019753 (OP) The real question is how many dollars did you pay to have your a------ fissured to oblivion? Time to move on to bigger and better things, and hopefully not just more of them. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:15:16 No. 17020105 >>17020121 File: 133859012087.jpg (19 KB, 274x350) >>17019927 doesn't sound like they could be much bigger than the t----- c--- he took Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:20:57 No. 17020197>>17020213 >>17020233 >>17020242 >>17020149 I will answer you even though you are d--- like some others here, incase a bro is actually curious. I paid $150 for 30 minutes Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:23:44 No. 17020233 File: 1421164982658.png (14 KB, 524x685) Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:22:18 No. 17020213 ► File: 1424135568410.jpg (49 KB, 317x313) >>17020197 >paid 150$ to get painfully r---- in the ass Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:01:24 No. 17019888 >>17019952 >>17020127 le: 1424497645196.jpg (51 KB, 632x560) >>17019866 Why didn't you just f--- the t-----? I don't think that getting f----- in the ass really counts as losing your virginity, sounds like you went through of it for nothing. >>17020197 >$150 for 30 minutes. >$150 for 30 minutes. >$150 for 30 minutes. TOP KEK Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:05:37 No. 17019952 ►>>17019973 >>17020043 >>17020210 >>17019888 I had sex, so I am no longer a virgin. It doesn't matter if I didn't f--- her. Sex is sex. Also she jacked me off. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:11:27 No. 17020043 >>17020127 le: 1423835228337.png (280 KB, 402x506) LEWD! >>17019952 >>17019979 Nah, I'm pretty sure you're still a virgin, a virgin who essentially paid to be r---- by a t-----. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:25:06 No. 17020258 ►>>17020284 File: Spoiler Image (25 KB, 350x350) >>17020113 Op you sound butthurt. SPOILERS Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:26:49 No. 17020284➤ File: 1420445143906.jpg (61 KB, 640x480) >>17020258 >butthurt SHHH RELAX ANON WE STILL HAVE 10 MINUTES Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:29:07 No. 17020323➤ OP literally got himself r---- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:29:21 No. 17020329 ► How long till OP gets an a--- prolapse? Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:17:53 No. 17020142 ► >>17020113 No, but you're not a girl. As a man you have to penetrate. >>17020090 you gave a gay man money to r--- you Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:18:11 No. 17020148 ▷ >>17019753 (OP) A girl gets f----- in the ass to avoid losing her virginity sometimes, dude. You didn't lose your virginity. You got f----- in your ass and essentially r---- for no reason. You're still a f------ virgin, holy f------ s---. I'm screencapping, this is GOLD. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:14:35 No. 17020091 ► >not stretching your boipussy weeks in advance in preparation

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Anons are spied on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/24(Sat)11:16:59 No.76878510 this place is called /pol/ 1710180753137007.jpg 405 KB JPG You guys ever wonder what glowie fbi agents say when they spy on us? >During break they hang by the coffee machine >"My anon just posts bbc threads on /pol/. What is your anon up to?" >"My anon shoved a stick of butter up his ass." >"That's nothing. My anon f------ died. He threw a grenade in his toilet, and it blew up. I'm being reassigned to an anon who justs posts on /x/ & /k/"

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Lol gaybois | /r/Greentext

Embracing figures at Pompeii 'could have been gay lovers', after scan reveals they are both men f share CD040683-728B-46E2-9C39-6152B03FE828.png 1.67 MB PNG >be me >drinking wine with best bro >served 10 years in army together >saved my life once >named my son after the guy >mountain f------ explodes >find house and hide for shelter >give each other one last bro hug >ash burys us both >1900 years later get found >lol gay bois

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Anon meets an Italian | /r/Greentext

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