Average alcoholic | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Worst cinema experience ifbin.com 574 KB GIF 03/21/24(Thu)02:05:10 No.197441719 >Always bring a bottle of liquor to cinema >Usually its no problem >Go to see zootopia back in 2016 >Bunch of f------ kids and parents >End up seated next to like a 7 and 8 year old >Start drinking as soon as lights go off >Their dad eyeballs me >maybe if i ignore him he'll go away >Take another chug a lil later >tells his kids to move over one seat & sits down next to me >Starts yapping in whispers about not drinking in front of his kids >Tell him to mind his business >He shuts up and begrudgingly sits next to me for the entire f------ movie >Looks p----- off every time i chug, awkward as f--- >After the movie he bitches me out in the lobby for being a bad influence on kids >Drunk as f--- by this point >tell him the movies probably gonna be a worse influence on his kids when they become furries who f--- rabbits >immediately regret my decision >drunkenly stumble away to escape the awkwardness This m----------- half-ruined the whole movie for me, the only saving grace was i was drinking. I dont know if i was just unlucky or if this is gonna happen again cause i wanna go watch the sequel next year. Parents nowadays are so f------ overprotective its unreal, if Disney didnt want me going to their kids movie they wouldnt draw the rabbit so sexy.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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/fit/izen encounters a son of Sanguinius | /r/Greentext

1 Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)07:53:07 No.57865060 >>57865260 >>57868884 935f8f99-ff97-4555-b052-0(...).jpg ✓ (64 KB, 1200x680) google yandex iqdb wait >>57864873 >if you never talk to them I did, once. Anonymous Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)08:08:41 No.57865260 >>57865615 >>57865060 Story time? Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)08:38:00 No.57865615 >>57866150 >>57866188 >>57866207 >>57866731 >>57868110 >>57868246 >>57868884 the-boys-homelander.jpg ✓ (230 KB, 2028x1140) google yandex iqdb wait >>57865260 Sure. >be me >start lifting right when the gym opens up >completely empty most of the time >electronic access so don't have to deal with the bitch at the reception >strange but comfy feeling >liminalspacesafterdark.jpg >about a month in this HUGE roidfag shows up >120+ kg not a gramm of fat on him >whatever there's more than enough benches for the both of us >about halfway through my last set I hear bloodcurdling screams from the other side of the freeweight area >"W-----! WHY DID YOU BETRAY EVERYONE?! WHY?! AAAAAAHH! W-----!" >look over >see roidfag benching with his headphones in while screaming his head of >quickly finish my set and leave >this continues for weeks >6 days a week, 4 weeks a month >every single time things get rough for him on the bench "W-----! WHY DAMN YOU?! WHOOOOOOORES!" >one day work up the nerve to tell him to keep it down with the incel s--- since I can hear him through my NOISECANCELLING HEADPHONES >says he isn't screaming "w-----" but "Horus", a guy who "betrayed him and his kin" >ask him what the f--- he means by "his kin" >he rolls up his sleeve to reveal the gayest shoulder tattoo I've ever seen >looks like a tear with angel wings >wakemeupinside.jpg >says he's part of the "blood warriors" or some s--- like that >never heard of a gang by that name in the area >he apparently interprets my looks of bewilderment as a sign of interest and goes on the most autistic rant I've heard in my f------ life Cont? + Anonymous Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:18:47 No.57866150 >>57866638 >>57865615 unreasonably based Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:22:00 No.57866188 >>57866638 >>57865615 Please continue man this is great Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:23:38 No.57866205 >>57864526 BIG DOGS GOTTA EAT ៣ Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:23:44 No.57866207 >>57866638 >>57865615 Please continue Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:59:29 No.57866638 >>57866683 >>57866731 >>57866842 >>57866953 >>57867181 >>57867747 >>57868072 >>57868110 >>57868246 >>57868256 >>57868884 1602447378286.jpg (117 KB, 553x544) google yandex iqdb wait >>57866150 >>57866188 >>57866207 Cont. >says he can lift heavier by channeling his "black rage" >I stare even harder >the guy is super white >like born in Eastern Europe and has never seen the sun white >is this mf like a reverse black klansman or something? >he notices my eyeballs coming out of my skull and eleborates >apparently Horus isn't a real guy, he's the bad guy from some kind of niche fantasy franchise he subscribes too >so are the blood warriors >he then proceeds to relate to me some of the weirdest s--- I've heard in a long time >I mean I was into some autistic s--- in my time but BOI >thousands of years into the future >humanity built a galaxy spanning empire but somehow reverted back to an absolute monarchy in the process >everything is led by a single guy who is a huge fedora tipping atheist, but also technically himself a god >also he's in a coma and needs to eat a thousand witches every single day to stay alive >instead of using warp drives like in star trek they open up portals to hell, cover the (somehow shorter) distance IN HELL and break back into reality >speaking of hell there's demons in this universe, also aliens, also witches, also cyborgs >to deal with all that s--- they brought back the communist commisariat and - I kid you not - the Spanish Inquisition >I just keep staring and smiling politely for fear of him killing me in an autistic fit of rage if I shut him up >the f----- won't. stop. talking. >I finally loose my patience when he tells me about this alien race that's like LOTR elves except their magic is powered EXCLUSIVELY BY R--- >not by sex like in some ancient vitality based nature religion >no it HAS to be r--- or their t----- god won't be satisfied >mumble something non commital about being late for work and gtfo >he yells after me about how we should talk more and how it's super hard to find someone who's interested in that s--- >can'timaginewhy.jpg Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)10:01:55 No.57866683 >>57866731 >>57868006 >>57868246 >>57868884 3ajtl3-1.jpg (32 KB, 640x360) google yandex iqdb wait >>57866638 >stay home and do calisthenics for two weeks >buy some better headphones >he's still there every morning >to this day he's still screaming about Horus and how he betrayed him >thankfully he never talked to me again >the new headphones drown him out, mostly Yeah, f--- talking to randos at the gym.

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Anon has a completely normal social interaction | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 93 KB JPG 03/20/24(Wed) 09:24:46 No.73861439 quasi-mire i guess >waiting for the subway after gym >get inside and sit down at window >next stop cute girl comes in and sits next to me >autistically avoid acknowledging or looking at her >grab a protein shot from my bag and drink it >"oh sorry but those are so good aren't they?" >uhh yeah and ask her if she wants one >she accepts and asks if i just came from the gym and what i trained >tell her to guess >"i'm going with arms because they look pumped" >realize my stop is coming in about 20 seconds >tell her she's right and it was nice talking to her but it's my stop >"oh alright" >we sit there dumb smiling for a second but then i get up and leave the man of inaction strikes once again >>73861513 # >>73861649 # >>73861661 # >>73861710 # >>73862250 # >>73862560 # >>73862943 # >>73863107 # >>73864007 # >>73865400 # >>73865409 # >>73865417 # Anonymous >>73861439 # I hate you 03/20/24(Wed)09:38:17 No.73861513

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I dont actually know what this is referring to | /r/Greentext

File: bradley.jpg (102 KB, 800x500) THIS 4CHAN S--- AINT WORTH IT 8 764 lore Anonymous 03/20/24(Wed)19:03:17 No.76852365 [Reply] >>76852574 >>76852601 >>7685 >10yo and he's into gore, p---, and edgy sites such as live leak and 4chan >14yo he makes "764" with some friends >joins /soc/ and /r9k/discord servers during covid >someone ends up inviting him to CVLT one day >finds the culture of these chan servers humorous and takes inspiration from them >learns how to extort from people like Moist Nigerian and etc in chan servers >invites people from these chan servers and editors from gore communities to 764 >they end up making a bunch of content for 764 (edits, fansigns, zoosadism, etc) >they go on to extort fembots, random e-girls, and other equally retarded people >partners and advertises with other 4chan servers like Cultists (rip-off cvlt) and Elite Intelectual da Internet (Dogolachan server) >raids servers from disboard and 4chan that he doesn't like with CP, gore, zoophilia, to get the server nuked >starts gaining members from outside the main demographic who finds 764 intriguing >764 ends up being one of the most dedicated shitposting group of 2021 >gets arrested >doesn't give a f--- and throws the trial, uses the "in Minecraft" meme in court with a fake story to go along with it >gets 80 years in prison >while he's in jail people take inspiration from him and make their own 764 inspired groups, some of them barely knowing the origins >764 gets put on the FBI radar and gets featured on an IC3 bulletin along with it's spinoffs >now ANYONE in chan servers that barely correlate with 764 groups are considered domestic terrorists by the federal government >09Aposters in 764 ends up getting 764 associated with 09A >Causes some members of O9A to withdraw from the sect and try to disband the group >Josh Sutters the founder of ToB finds the situation amusing however and used to shitpost about it a lot on his twitter >764 is on the news and now the general public knows about it This seems like some schizo delusion but it's actually real.

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anon lies on the internet | /r/Greentext

File: RGLc188S_400x400.jpg (32 KB, 366x366) are these good life goals? Anonymous 03/20/24(Wed)15:24:51 No.76850375 >>76850468 >>76850518 >>76850842 >>76852038 >get a fully remote job that pays well enough for me to live alone in an apartment or a condo in a nice area >become a shut in who does as much as possible online, hopefully never have to leave my home and can get everything i need delivered to my doorstep. >take a year off work to start taking estrogen, hair removal, therapy, and basic self care >get some anxiety diagnosis so i have a medical excuse to never leave my f------ room ever >buy a high end VR PC setup, pay thousands for self insert anime girl avatars >ease myself back into the workforce, still working remotely >life now becomes a balance of a meaningful career and playing with my t--- all from the comfort of my room this is honestly the best i could hope for, and even that life seems out of reach for someone like me.

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Missing Tip | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 03/20/24(Wed)19:21:33 No.76852513 what did the jews ever invent? other than banks Reply -1 -> we created Saturdays off, the polio vaccine was invented by a jew, and so was the birth control pill. so the next time you're with your girlfriend on saturday night, having unprotected sex with legs that aren't crippled with polio maybe look at your lover in the eyes and say: "phew, thank God for the jews" 312 KB PNG >Looks down at circumcised penis tHank god for tHE JEWS Anonymous 03/20/24(Wed)19:23:46 No.76852545 >>76852513 (OP) Thank your parents for that you retard. Anonymous >>76852545 Theyre jewish 03/20/24(Wed)19:24:23 No.76852550

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Smell You Later | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/01/24(Thu)08:45:47 No.76318873 44 KB JPG >be me >footfag >comfort my ex gf about it >she is whiny at first but then agrees with it >i am super f------ hyped up >the next day >she finally comes over >my mouth is literally f------ drooling >c--- is throbbing >make her sit on the couch >untie her shoes >take them off >she didn't wear any socks >her soles are soft and pinky >precum.jpg >tell her to spread her toes so i could get a good whiff >she does >get closer >WHIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.JPG >the most unpleasant, nasty f------ smell hits my nostrils >smells like rotten milk&vinegar >i literally f------ gagged >"Anon, You are a f------ weirdo" >she puts her shoes back on >f------ leaves It was not like how I imagined bros.

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Thug Life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 80 KB JPG >be me >2011 02/01/24(Thu)21:23:30 No.76326105 >14 years old >someone throws me a paper wad at me in class >I turn around and see who it is, his arm still extended >I walk back and punch him in the face before returning to my desk, bloodying his lip >get suspended for a week >dad screams at me, telling me "I didn't raise a thug" >mom tells me she's never been so disappointed in me >felt like s--- then, feel like s--- now I think I'm going to find him on Facebook and send a short message apologizing. : Anonymous >>76326105 (OP) # 02/01/24(Thu)21:24:54 No.76326118 your parents are p------ and most likely white he deserved it

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Anon is an investor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Lone 839 KB PNG 07/11/19(Thu)12:30:35 No.53327033 Which one of you gave this girl $11,000 for her coke habit? >Twitch thot gets angry at her "top donator" on video >says donator was criticizing her for acting slutty on stream >"donator" posts screenshots of their conversations >turns out he was not a donator at all >she was actually borrowing money from him claiming she loved him >claimed she wanted to be with him but needed more $$ to sort her problems first >milked him for his entire bank >reason he was getting angry because she was claiming to love him while acting slutty on stream >she realizes hes not gonna lend her more money >calls him a "donator" and roasts him on stream

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Anon doesn't understand Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

7 KB JPG Anonymous >be Voldemort >tries to kill baby Harry Potter >spells don't work >doesn't even try to strangle him >leaves why the hell this is the bestseller franchise of all time? 03/20/24(Wed)22:55:18 No.915649872 the spell backfired and hurt him instead you f------ trumptard f--- >>915650348 # : Anonymous >>915649823 (OP) # 03/20/24(Wed) 22:57:57 No.915649956 The spell he used was a OHKO spell and Harry's oedipus magic reversed it. Now Volvomore has sort of turned himself into a cat with 9 lives so he survives the backfire but is technically fatally wounded, in pain and confusion he flees. Anonymous >>915649872 # 03/20/24(Wed)23:07:53 No.915650348 >kills an infant with the most powerful one hit one kill spell >gets backfired why doesn't he just grab its neck, Harry's mother spell doesn't work against physical attack. is he stupid? >>915651467 # >>915654926 # : Anonymous 03/20/24(Wed) 23:19:17 No.915650689 Why don't people just use guns against the retarded wands. Wizards don't have the reaction time and their spells are too slow to cast to stop bullets, they aren't Jedi. A dude with a pistol would BTFO any f----- wizard. >Expele- BANG! >Ack!

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Let me fix her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous loser gf 47 KB JPG 03/20/24(Wed)18:38:43 No.76846922 >get uber ride share because its cheap >guy gets picked up and sits next to me so i awkwardly ignore with headphones in >sees him casually browsing a blue board >make a joke about him opening 4chan in public >we talk for the rest of the ride about the strangers we met from 4chan, what we browse, its reputation and how its a lot more normie WHY DID I NOT ASK HIS NUMBER IM SUCH AN IDIOT : loser gf 46 KB JPG : loser gf 18 KB JPG 03/20/24(Wed)18:40:57 No.76846934 the fact i made a thread begging for people to help for advice on how to improve just to have a perfect opportunity fall out of my hands because im a retard that cant socialize is the final straw 03/20/24(Wed)18:43:17 No.76846948 at this point i cant be upset anymore. its probably a sign. if youre reading this random ride share anon sorry for being weird

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Shor, Mara, Dibella, Kynareth, Akatosh, Divines; please help me! | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 670780814 3/20/24 6:17:47 AM Stenvar PNG 600x1000 940.8 KB >be mercenary >get paid 500 gold >your patron immediately starts sprinting towards the Shrine of Boethiah what do

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Anon laments the rise of AI | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Ple 170804677822.90 1280 854 KB PNG 03/20/24(Wed)14:16:37 No.197430545 >Al generated content indistinguishable from reality floods all media >children get dumber as Al spoonfeeds them instead of teaching critical thinking skills >downsized manual labor pools when tech becomes efficient enough >millions are out of jobs >human artists become a relic >photo and video evidence become inadmissible in court >communications technology becomes a threat because you can't tell if you're talking to a real person Assuming all of these disaster scenarios inevitably come to fruition, what would (You)r solutions be? : Anonymous 03/20/24(Wed)14:21:04 No.197430622 >>197430545 (OP) # Prid SHOPL my solution: 995 KB PNG >>197430711 # >>197431451 # >>197432206 # >>197432383 #

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