Anon gets a concussion | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's a hero | /r/Greentext

File: Sheeeit_Banner-945911630.jpg (274 KB, 1200x675) SHHHHH EEEEEEEE 1111TT >w--.webp >tell him to leave I saved my sister >be me >14 >have 10 year old sister >love her very much >one day >tells us we can do whatever while he orders pizza >me and sister go to the bathroom to shower (we did this normally) >play with her and have a good time >tyrone walks into the stall butt ass naked T >parents are out of town for an event >have dad's black friend tyrone (i s--- you not) babysit us >looks kinda scary but think nothing of it Anonymous 01/07/24(Sun)17:20:00 No.912022112 >dosen't listen >sister hides behind me for safety >tyrone tries to drag her to him >try to stop him but fail >we both try not to aggravate him because he's bigger and stronger than the both of us combined >he starts to massage her naked body >she feels very uncomfortable >"stop that you're making her feel uncomfortable" >doesn't care >starts rubbing his humongous c--- in-between her ass crack >talks to her about how she's going to be her sex slave >"this be payback for yo slavery, cracka" >she starts to breakdown >have enough of this >"get off her you >without thinking, i kick him in the balls as hard as i can >lets go of her and slumps to the floor >kick him more in the balls until he effectively faints >even let my sister get a few kicks in >we lock him in the bathroom, put some robes on, and call our parents and the police >they arrive and take him away >not only is he sentenced to 30 years in prison, but he gets daily ass whoopings from his fellow inmates >entire family now hates blacks >sister and i go to therapy and feel much better now >we still love each other very much Looking back this was probably one of my proudest moments ever. I will always love my sister until the end of time.

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Anon has a new therapist. | /r/Greentext

File: AAAHHHHHHHH.png (87 KB, 750x711) Anonymous 05/08/18(Tue)05:34:32 No.45228090 ► >>45228134 >>45228182 >>45228189 >>45228213 >>45228231 >>45228329 >>45228332 >>45228368 >>45228635 >>45230209 >>45230267 >>45230282 >>45230646 >>45232448 >>45232793 >>45232798 >>45232834 >>45233042 >>45235503 >new therapist is a T----- not even older than me >wears pencil skirts and pantyhose and secretary/office lady clothes WHAT THE FUCKKKK Anonymous 05/08/18(Tue)05:35:56 No.45228119 ► >>45228142 >>45228189 >>45229154 >>45229971 >>45230282 >>45230514 >>45230666 >>45232515 >>45232748 >>45232862 >>45232921 >>45233809 >>45235825 >>45236302 >>45236543 >>45237135 File: E16F5609-532D-4FB6-8154-A(...).png (11 KB, 344x427) >when your therapist is more mentally ill than you

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The slugman | /r/Greentext

LIVE SLUG REACTION 83KiB, 677x499, 6ff59g-402121321.jpg Anonymous Fri 19 Jan 2024 18:56:19 No.912616503 Quoted By: >>912616972 >>912617927 >>912618026 >>912618782 I've become addicted to defiling slugs >Be me >Live in s----- house with slugs always crawling in through cracks in doors and windows View >Rage at first and simply kill or flush them >This anger slowly develops in nature, becoming mixed with a sick sexual frustration >Whenever I see a slug now capture and piss/c-- on it then grab it with toilet paper and flush in a suffocating slurry of my excrements >begin to actually get excited about this and find it more pleasurable than being with a woman >MFW I've become chemically addicted to sexually terrorizing slugs It's at the point where I've actually considered buying slugs online just to facilitate this. Anyone else have similar experience? Anonymous Fri 19 Jan 2024 19:18:24 No.912616972 >>912616503 >Anyone else have similar experience Hopefully not.

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Anon attends a funeral | /r/Greentext

File: 1646459608474.png (1.71 MB, 1230x1650) O Anonymous 01/20/24(Sat)11:37:52 No.912661309 ► >be me >attend wife's funeral (may God bless her soul) >priest is talking about how good of a person she was, how she will be missed, yadda yadda >get a text on my phone >"did you here the noose? curry died" >AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg >see a metal pole next to me >rip it out of the ground >charge priest >beat him to death with pole while screaming "IN THE AAAARMS OF AN ANGLEEEE" >everyone also attending the funeral is recording me, yelling to call the police >escape the scene >hide in a nearby abandoned building I'm f------ crying and screaming right now, /b/ros. What do I do? Anonymous 01/20/24(Sat)11:46:25 No.912661577 Things that never happened

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What’s this person on about? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: V5mRCzfv) F--- Tesla 9-II WAS AN INSIDE JOB 7 KB JPG 01/19/24(Fri)22:25:05 No.455800284 Me: *buys offensive bumper stickers Also me: *puts them on every Tesla I see Too far or not far enough?

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Its so over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB JPG 01/20/24(Sat)06:43:04 No.76175365 >beat off an hour or two ago, busted a fat nut >my younger sister walks into my room to give me my mail >"mmm! it smells good in here!" >she just stands there sniffing the air like a dog what the actual f---

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Licence to Cope | /r/Greentext

File: License-to-Kill-63a6198.jpg (84 KB, 980x654) >>195199103 (OP) Bond Thread Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)19:08:55 No.195199103 >>195199232 >>195199501 >>195199689 >>195200391 >>195200468 >>195200734>>195201248 >>195201331 >>195201408 >>195201648 ☐ Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)20:32:58 No.195201648 >>195201724 >>195201728 >Bond is his actual name! >Blofeld is his brother! He was the last James Bond. Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig and their movies are not canon. >canon What even is "canon" to Bond anyway? The whole point is that he's a blunt cipher that f---- women and gets the job done with gadgets, style, and a lot of luck. If anything the Craig movies were the ones trying too hard with canonicity. >everything that happens in the movies can be traced back to SPECTRE >kills off Bond, Leiter, Blofeld, and M in the last couple movies because they were done with Craig's version of the character ☐ Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)20:36:24 No.195201728 ▶ >>195201810 >>195201837 >>195202077 >>195201648 >>Blofeld is his brother This has to he the worst plot point in any media ever Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)20:50:57 No.195202077 >>195201728 >Spectre literally ripped off Austin Powers 3 This will never not be funny

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Anon enjoys realistic cinema | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)19:38:20 No.195245649 THOSE MUST BE COMFORTABLE SHOES unnamed.jpg 45 KB JPG quickmeme.com >sits down next to a black woman at a bus stop >shoves chocolate in his mouth >immediately tells her he's named after a famous member of the KKK This is the most realistic bus stop interaction in cinema

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Anon tries to ask out a girl to prom | /r/Greentext

epe-shadilay-with-sungla(...).jpg (81 KB, 550x550) google yandex iqdb wait asked out 2 girls to prom Anonymous 01/19/24 (Fri)16:45:28 No.76176062 ✓ >>76176157 >be me, 18 khhv incel >read greentext here about an anon getting asked by 2 girls to go to prom >my prom is coming up, i didn't have anyone to go with >ask out 2 girls I was pretty friendly with to prom They both said no, but to make myself feel better I simulated what it is like to successfully ask a girl out to prom with Silly Tavern+GPT-4 later virgins

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