Anon knows how to deal with feds | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous FBI 01/15/24(Mon )04:01:56 No.194946345 1705266095701.jpg 48 KB JPG FBI 2 AHO >*KNOCK KNOCK* >Anon we know you've been pirating movies, please come out so we can have a chat Anonymous >>194946345 (OP) # >loud clicking sound >trap door above porch swings open >dozens of venomous snakes fall 01/15/24(Mon)04:03:21 No.194946418

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is bottom of the food chain | /r/Greentext

File: 9e02b4257c05e19434bd28a1f(...).jpg (126 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon)21:33:41 No.76126555 > Be me, graceful Indian Nilgai Antelope > Body is made of delicious food for the Indian Tiger > Am constantly stalked Indian Tigers > Parents, siblings and children were all killed and eaten by Tigers > Live in constant state of PTSD-like terror of Tigers > One day, I will be eaten by the Indian Tiger > Still better than being Human

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anon works at the backrooms | /r/Greentext

File: backroomsoffice.jpg (30 KB, 508x398) found the backrooms Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon)15:30:10 No.36951051 i found history today anons > be me get hired as a Janitor > place is a office looking like it was made around the 90s > Companies budget couldn't afford to fix anything, so the building was filled with stains and cracks, just a disgusting ass place in general. > begin to see similarites to the original backrooms image > Carpet looked similar, the wallpaper patterns, etc. > Eventually midway through the shift I get to one of the other areas of the office > It's the original backrooms image > Holyshit.jpeg > Take a picture of it with my phone, then try and crop and compress it until it looks like the angle of the original image /x/ i found the backrooms w-- do i do?

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Anon is trying to become a software engineer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 45 KB JPG Anonymous 75 KB JPG 12/13/20(Sun)13:31:14 No.79188498 >can easily spend all day playing video games >get tired after 10 minutes doing a programming tutorial I'll never become a software engineer at this rate. How to fix? 12/13/20(Sun)13:33:03 No.79188521 You will be real sad when the opposite happens... >>79190287 # >>79190524 # >>79190710 # >>79192745 # >>79193456 # >>79193863 # >>79194025 # >>79194100 # >>79196109 # >>79196351 # >>79199659 # >>79200563 #

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Gay or misogynist, call it. | /r/Greentext

01/12/24(Fri)16:25:10 No.663486108 >unironically picking female in character creator >unironically playing games with female protags >unironically using feminine words like "cute" >unironically posting female anime characters >unironically listening to songs with female vocals : Anonymous 62 KB JPG

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Anon might be a sociopath | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon )09:35:51 No.194991648 >be owner of priceless necklace >find out some explorers are searching for it >they fly me out and listen to my story and are very nice >decide to throw necklace to the bottom of the f------ ocean >dont even tell them so they'll keep searching for years to come kek >don't care that i just threw out my grandchildren's $10 billion inheritance w-- was this bitches problem?

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Anon’s best friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous My best friend 168 KB JPG 12/17/23(Sun)20:39:33 No.910981683 >be me >loser autist >always bullied in school >one day >attendance office calls me out >says parents about to pick me up >go outside >omg.mp4 >it was none other than donald trump! >"hey anon, screw these bullies, lets have a good time" >hellyeah.jpeg >go golfing together >fire some rifles in the shooting range >go see the super mario bros movie >go to his house to play vidya >have the time of my life >end of the day approaches >"that was fun anon, i would like to hang out with you again sometime" >bye trump, catch you on the flip side Thank you Donald Trump for making me feel good about myself. You will always be my friend until the end of time.

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Anon is a Pokemon trainer | /r/Greentext

File: 1320341359.ipq-(67 KB, 600x1196, pokemon1.jpg) Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu)13:29:19 No.361696761 >Adopt six very young children >Make them each wear different pokemon costumes >Build giant pokeballs and place beds in them as rooms >Homeschool them and teach them moves like tackle and headbutt >As they get older give electric pokemon tazers, fire pokemon propane torches etc.. to perform more complex moves >When they are bad make them hold a rock that I call "the everstone that stops them from evolving and send them to their pokeball >every so often knock one out with chloroform and change costume to next evolution. 19037 >As they hit teen years explain they can only mate at the daycare center when their stats are high enough I'll bring them there. >possibly pay a prostitute to wear pokemon costume and bang my pokemon children Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu)13:32:40 No.361697095 File 1320341560.jpg-(118 KB, 500x550, pokemon-pikachu-cosplay-costum(...).jpg) >at level/age 18 enroll each pokemon in a different armed service (marines, army, coast guard, air force, navy, national guard) >tell them they are each going on undercover missions and have them take "medicine (knock out pills) that will make them appear human. >strip off pokemon costumes and hide them. >tell each one that I have a special device that will transport them back to the pokeball when they fall asleep and leave a plush replica so they won't get found out. >tell them they cannot reveal they are pokemon to anyone, tell them military has captured all pokemon and they must move up the ranks and collect "badges" to free their pokemon comrades. >every thanksgiving I invite them home where I drug the food to knock them out and they wake up in their pokemon costumes again. >collect all their medals in a badge case. >because of my strict training and teaching them to follow orders they move quickly up the chain of command. > Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu) 13:35:20 No.361697386 File 1320341720.jpq-(5 KB, 150x113, Charizard_costume_by_bigcroco.jpg) >>over the next decades they become top level military leaders learning all the intelligence and gaining all authorizations and launch codes. >when the time is right have them all call a joint press conference. >have them all come out in pokemon costumes and reveal they are pokemon and that pokemon are real >>I step onto the stage and reveal I'm their trainer >any member of the press has a question I shout "charizard I choose you! use flamethrower and sick my pokemon on them. >Finally I am the greatest pokemon master in the world.

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Anon is correct | /r/Greentext

Anonymous GAASlop 5 Do RESHA TOTAL S A 111-0 01/15/24(Mon)19:05:26 No.663800797 DATA SHARDS DEPOSITED 7/14 +1 DATA SHARDS DEPOSITED suicide squad.jpg 108 KB JPG 1 SCAVENGER KILL 3 121 >sees picrel on X (formerly Twitter) while high >think its fake 1.140 376 420 TE-O TUNE ANTI-FLASH WEAPON CHARGES 8 12 ROUNDS 016212x306-ut 05d2229-US TOYMAN 57x7684-US 11 >Its actually real >Its like that 'Elden Ring by Ubisoft' parody image but unironically real >realized that video game UI peaked with Dead Space Do devs just not care about this s--- any more? Why do games have to look like MMO lite now?

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Story of a lifetime | /r/Greentext

E Name of this phenomenon >Be me >4th Grade >Have a crush on a girl with whom I was friends with >Get friend zoned >Later she became distant >Neveragain.png >FFW to Grade 7 (new school) >Have a crush on a girl with whom I had neutral ground >Friendzoned again but this time they would exploit my generosity of snacks till next year when I stopped being generous. Distance again. >Grade 8, New crush >This time I am not telling her my feelings >Gr 8 crush texts me asking how can she be friends with 1 guy who she likes >She deleted this message and told me to ignore it >That guy and her would regularly enter argument shouting contests between the two >Decide to stop talking since its a dead end. She didnt notice >Grade 9 >New crush. We were friends and we both shared passion for geek culture >Had a good friendship >Had to move so I knew I wont have chances at dating so I kept my feelings secret >We kept conversation well but soon they too became distant for no reason. >Neveragainforrealthistime.jpeg >FFW to now. >suppress my feelings because they always result in a fail. Normies keep on saying that you should talk to women. Whats the point when anytime I talked them, they friend zone me but in reality they distance themselves or use me as a snack dispenser or free therapist.

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anon definitely is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay Photo of anime girl

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Anon doesn't believe the whites | /r/Greentext

File: larkin.png (1.02 MB, 1314x875) Anonymous (ID: ydo5HA6f) 01/14/24(Sun)19:40:20 No.455166922 [Reply]► >>455172798 >>455167327 >>455167686 >>455167728 >>455168008 >>455168096 >>455168383 >>455169463 >>455169830 >>455170063 >>455171235 How the f--- am I supposed to believe whites are the "master race" when: >They gave their women rights >Created the civilisation destroying disease known as feminism >The Germanic Franks, Anglos and French gave the k---- influence in their societies >Boomer and Gen X white men do their best to sabotage and emasculate their sons Not even shitskins are stupid enough to give women rights. Showing all replies. Anonymous (ID: cr32b8+K) 01/14/24 (Sun)19:41:30 No.455167036 >How the f--- am I supposed to believe who asked you to, n-----? oh right no one. shut the f--- up >>455167357

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Anon questions the media | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 01/10/24 (Wed)08:18:37 No. 15967893 >there are over 100 BILLION stars in the galaxy >at LEAST 1% of those stars have planets in the habitable zone >if ANY of those planets developed sapient life that didn't destroy themselves, they would, travelling at 10% of lightspeed, be able to cover the galaxy in JUST a million years >there is NO sign of ANYTHING out there 69 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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