Anon meets his female cousin for the first time | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

:Anonymous 12/28/23(Thu)01:54:50 No.911403549 >I met my cousin for the first time at a family reunion >Her dad, my uncle, was kind of a f--- up as a kid, and it alienated him from the family, so I didn't get to see him my cousin until I was 14 >She had dirty blonde hair, alabaster skin, and a cute little nose ring that would jiggle around whenever she laughed >When we first met, she didn't seem interested in me at all >She was always texting or listening to her IPod >Then, during dinner, I went back to my room to get my swim shorts so I could go to the river with the rest of my family >She stopped me on the way and pulled me behind the hotel room where my family was staying >"Wanna smoke some weed?" She said to me in an almost excited tone >"Sure", I said >We both ended up going to the swimming hole baked out of our minds >I immediately went into the water to wash the pot smell off, got out of the water and passed out on the bank >When I woke up she was sitting next to me >I could barely make out her silhouette in the setting sun >"You haven't smoked before have you?" >"no..." I said sheepishly >She laughed at me, but I didn't care >I was lost in her green eyes >We couldn't look away from each other, and slowly we moved our lips closer until they were less than a centimeter away from each other >Suddenly she turned away >"I can't" She said, choking back tears >"What's wrong?" I said in the most sympathetic tone I had ever spoken in. My breath was hanging on her next words >"I need about tree fiddy." >Now it was about that time that I realised that this girl was 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the Palaeozoic era. That god damn Loch Ness monster had tricked me again

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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