Anon goes to high school | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 41463596 6.8 kB JPG 1 hr. ago My sad story >Be me >Be in highscool >Known for being a loser >Teacher gets out of the class for 40 mins >Girls behind me start chatting >8/10 girl calls me and says: "H-hey Anon, I have to tell you a secret" >Me:"Ok tell me" >She replys:"I think that im in love with you, im leaving my boyfriend for you" >I blush and I say: "Im not felling for it" >1 minute later another girl comes at me and says: "Hey Anon, can I touch your hand?" >Me "ytho.jpg" >"We are playing truth or dare" pic related

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon had an epiphany | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.92 MB GIF 08/18/21 (Wed)06:21:02 No.18867491 >wake up in the middle of the night >suddenly have an epiphany >reconcile thousands of years of human philosophical and spiritual canon into a single neat revelation >go back to sleep >wake up >can't remember

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Anon has another conspiracy theory | /r/Greentext

: Dr. Redpill BOS 80 73 8098 9 198 Propane 335 KB JPG 12/12/23(Tue) 13:27:23 No.910708382 It's hilarious that Biden f------ are thanking Biden for these newly low gas prices even though the last 2 years it was >"The President doesn't control the gas prices" All of a sudden now while their down it's >BASED BIDEN LOWERS GAS PRICES While actually he did have an action in lowering these current low prices it's because he's setting the us up for the highest gas prices in history >Biden has been secretly depleting the US emergency petroleum reserve to artificially lower the price of gas >The reserves will run out April 2024 >After which the US cannot get oil from Russia for the failure of proper handling of the war of Ukraine Russia >Cannot get oil from Middle East because of failure of proper handling of Israel Palestine war >Shut down only pipeline to get oil in US >gas now shoots up to 9 dollars for average >diesel is now 14 dollars a gallon >a bigger wave of inflation hits by mid July causing a typical grocery trip to cost 180 dollars (bread milk meat eggs) This utter failure is about to come crashing down causing Trump to win in a landslide as big as Reagan's The biggest red wave is about to come and when the fraud of 2020 is put in the light Biden will be hung for his treason crimes

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Anon goes through high school | /r/Greentext

17 KB JPG > be autist > social skills don't develop until late high school > never learned how to flirt or read girls > they see me as just a friend or an absolute freak > tfw I'll probably never be loved > jerk it to wash away the feels

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Everyone starts somewhere | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 40 KB JPG 06/24/21(Thu)14:00:32 No.62246659 >go to gym >try to lift embarassingly low weights >fail >want to kill self Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:03:28 No.62246694 >>62246659 (OP) # The weights are just a clock - a clock that measures how much time you've spent in the gym. Put in more time and the weights will accumulate. You've spent zero time thus far and the weights are just telling you that. >>62246734 # >>62246763 # >>62250110 # >>62250347 # : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:04:16 No.62246708 Nobody in the gym cares about you. Stop thinking so much of yourself. : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:05:08 No.62246717 >>62246659 (OP) # It's okay, anon. We all have to start somewhere. Most people are too focused on what they're doing to judge you anyway

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Don't worry it's probably only a highly infectious abscess. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/02/23 (Wed)19:14:34 No.19563961 20230723_204923.jpg 301 KB JPG This is the last time I buy a ham from walmart. They gave me the a------.

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Anon can’t function | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autism Feels 13 KB PNG 01/04/20(Sat)08:26:55 No.56106206 > having a bad day for sensory s--- > at work > constant noises > on the verge of sperging out all day > get home > turn off all lights > get in bed > bury head under blanket > repeatedly hit my head on the mattress

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Anon is the Essence of Masculinity | /r/Greentext

Epic Anonymous 12/11/23(Mon)12:52:43 No.910680910 >Be me >Walking to class >Annoying bitch gets in my face and says "Have you registered to vote?" >Look her in the eyes with burning rage and say "Hell yeah I'm voting trump bitch!" >She gasps loudly, people nearby stop and look on in awe >Turn around and keep walking, feeling like a million bucks >> O Anonymous 12/11/23(Mon)12:55:04 No.910680988 Trump didn't kill himself >>910681135

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Anon might actually be 12 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: h4Ur/PXT Japan 12/11/23(Mon) 20:55:09 No.451560238 tokyo.jpg 490 KB JPG >supposedly has a population crisis >meanwhile tokyo is literally the most populous city in the world someone explain this to me like im 12

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Pajeetanon redeems his parents offer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/23(Mon)10:49:19 No.910678790 99 KB JPG >be me, pajeet born and raised in America >in a 6 years relationship with an American born >she breaks up with me >want to kill myself, extreme depression for two years >Indian parents want me to marry a nice Indian girl >decide may be that will bring some stability in my life and give me a reason to live again >they marry me to some Indian chick that I talk to for one hour on the phone >she has a masters degree so decide she's probably fine >a couple of months pass >realize what the f--- I have done >she unironically says things like "we arr the needing of the pottattoo in grocery, arr you thaaaaa wanting brakefaast" >we have nothing in common, she has bad etiquettes and education has not inspired to be anything more than a wife that lives in the kitchen F----- up so bad I gave away my life a random chick. I have not done the needful sir, is there any out of this? Divorce will ruin her life and my family will banish me.

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Anon is clueless | /r/Greentext

boards.4chan.org/r9k/th + 14 Anonymous shamed for dating preferences 23 KB JPG >>75727921 # >tell her my preferences >her face twists in disgust like i let out a sour fart >she quickly changes the subject >starts acting cold toward me and giving me 1 word 12/11/23(Mon)16:16:30 No.75727896 answers >basically wont even talk to me by the end of the night oooooooookay then : Anonymous : Anonymous >meet friend's gf for the first time >talk for a few hours at a pub >seem to be hitting it off >"how can you be single, anon?" >"i know so many girls who are looking for a good guy" 59 KB JPG >"tell me what you look for in a girl, i bet i know someone" Anonymous Well, what were your "requirements"? that's it really 12/11/23(Mon)16:19:47 No.75727907 12/11/23(Mon)16:21:16 No.75727915 12/11/23(Mon)16:23:22 No.75727921 >>75727907 # i didnt even have "requirements" per se more like "dealbreakers" >no single moms >no obese women >no girls who are on dating apps like Tinder >>75727942 # >>75727943 # >>75727950 # >>75728029 # >>75728342 # >>75728361 # >>75728442 # >>75728540 # >>75728572 # >>75728889 # >>75728893 # >>75729350 # >>75729570 # >>75729620 # >>75729648 #

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Battery.⠀⠀ | /r/Greentext

@PopBase The man who threw the phone at Bebe Rexha admits he was purposely trying to hit her because he thought it would be funny." He has since been charged with two counts of assault, one count of harassment, one count of aggravated harassment and one count of attempted assault, according to Rolling Stone. Anonymous 12/11/23(Mon)07:55:40 No.75728975 [1] [Reply] >>75729205 Unfathomably based lol Anonymous 12/11/23(Mon)08:21:55 No.75729205 >>75729571 >>75728975 (OP) Isn't that just battery? Why so many charges? Anonymous 12/11/23(Mon)09:08:49 No.75729571 >>75729205 No, she got hit with a phone not a battery

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Anon loves goats | /r/Greentext

e: IMG_1201.jpg (184 KB, 525x584) >be me college student >at party someone puts on animal farm movie >is ancient old farm yard animal p--- movie with chicken r---, not orwell >everyone at party laughs and makes disgusted noises >i get aroused, watch it again and again next day at home >get massively into goat p---, beautiful creatures >decide to try f------ one in real life >drive to nearby petting zoo at night >jump fence and head to goat enclosure, goats are sleeping >get massive boner, try to spoon one that looks like a girl goat >goat wakes up, rear kicks me really hard in testicles >other goats start bleating, limp away defeated >a few days later local news website posts story on petting zoo break in >mfw i see the blurry cctv video of me walking to the goat enclosure I regret it so much. If I get identified thats my life over. No one will employ a goat r-----. Pray for me bros.

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