Anon loves popcorn | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

amazon Anonymous No.703960114 20 minutes ago >be me >go on amazon to buy stainless steel popcorn machine (i love popcorn) >add my s--- to cart >see they have an upgrade to Amazon Prime called Amazon Prime X >claims to deliver your order i 10 minutes or less >think its b------- >free trial so i use it anyway >checkout >10 minutes go by >think "i knew it was too good to be true" >Knock knock, open up the door, it's real >With the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel >mfw >X gonna give it to ya >F--- waitin' for you to get it on your own >X gonna deliver to ya 000 10 replies

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon helps the weird girl | /r/Greentext

>I've been on the Netherlands 5 months so far >my father got a job here so we had to move >still can't understand much >school feels like a waste of time because of that >but it's fun watching those sisters piss off the teacher >one of them is a loner weirdo >doesn't speak much >one day I passed by her in the corridor >a bunch of crap feel off her locker >felt like being friendly and decided to help her pick it up >she looks confused >I catch something weird >it's... a dildo with a tentacle pattern? >what the f--- >why was that inside her locker? >she starts panicking >I have no idea on what to do >her face is red like an apple >I drop it back into the locker >she runs away without saying a word >didn't see her again until the next week >we avoid eye contact after that

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Nothing bad whatsoever | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/23(Sat)17:11:53 No.192987747 Mery 2944861-hogwarts.jpg 100 KB JPG >school with teenagers with hormones out of control >Teaching students spells like >Obliviate >imperio >Wingardium Leviosa >Colloportus >Petrificus Totalus Yea I'm sure nothing bad happens

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anon has a new pet | /r/Greentext

Mouse.jpg (6 KB, 259x195) >he just stares up at awaiting death >i look into his eyes >hes crying >i feel so bad for him >i pick him up and take him to my room >he becomes my pet, i feed him and play with him >be beta virgin at the time (14) >parents thought i killed him months ago >hes a pretty clean mouse >one day i decide to take my mouse outside >i wear a jacket and put him inside >go on bus and sit next to 8/10 qt >mouse keeps making squeaky noises >girl starts looking at me >I play it off >mouse crawls out of jacket >girl isn't scared >she thought he was cute >starts playing with him >me and girl eventually start dating >mfw a mouse a reason i got a gf Anonymous 11/09/17(Thu) 17:08:30 No.750532045 ► >be me >be watching a movie with my family >mouse shows up out of f------ no where >mom is terrified and dad was sleeping >mom says >"ANON KILL IT!" >i sigh and get up to kill it >the f----- keeps running >i chase him for about an hour >until he just... gives up. >I've already injured him

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Anon finds a new friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 761573897 9 min. ago ... 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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Anon's professor malverses funds | /r/Greentext

File: 5754-pepe-hmm-1776306577.png (12 KB, 112x112) Anonymous 12/09/23(Sat)18:22:37 No.910597888 >be me >in calculus 2 class >professor, PHD, gets a fuckton (tm) of money to pursue research >the very next day and for the rest of the semester all printouts and class materials start getting printed in color and with cool graphs, examples, etc >absolute god tier notes but umm each sheet must cost half a dollar... we're about 20 in the class, and these are multi-page >there is no way this level of expenditure is sustainable for her... unless.. >surely this timing cannot be a coincidence right...?

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Anon harshly criticizes a Josh Giddey tweet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: nLspF/4i) Post josh giddey @joshgiddey ....annoyed with seeing the constant bashing you all are giving Josh Giddey. Don't you losers have anything better to do than attack a man Not really into cartoons but I agree with this 100 who didn't do anything wrong? 12/09/23(Sat)18:54:35 No.19208169 Leave that man the f--- alone and let him play the sport he loves you sad pathetic cretins. CRACK Follow >be accused of predatory actions >defend yourself with cartoons What a f------ loser I'm just... 6D8B26D5-336A-4C03-B228-614D6C780126.jpg 284 KB JPG

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Anon got red-pilled by historical games | /r/Greentext

PUBLIC ORDER DETAILS Current Change per turn CONTRIBUTING FACTORS Difficulty level Buildings (Happiness) Characters 0 3 5 1 3 10 -6 Events Cultural differences Taxes Slaves Faction Public order is stable. How Creative Assembly gets away with this? Anonymous 12/09/23(Sat)23:37:17 No.1619589 >>1619590 >>1619 >play Total War Rome 2 >conquers a city -7 -3 0 >time pass >people still angry because taxes and cultural differences >CA is a company with progressive and tolerant values Why I get negative effects? I thought multiculturalism was our strength and taxes were necessary to build hospitals, schools and pay pensions.

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Anon finds Tinder easy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: yOnP4TAX) 12/04/23(Mon) 08:09:02 No.450821261 >>450810374 # literally within 30 minutes >match with girl on tinder >she swiped on me, so i know shes already thought about me f------ her >ask her if shes horny now >she says yes >ask for her address >she gives it >drive over there >she lets me in >i ask where her bedroom is >she takes me there >i start touching her p---- and we make out >pull my pants down while making out >guide her down so she squats and starts sucking my d--- >f----- her its that easy but you have to have a sense for who to ask "are you horny now? to, because a lot of girls will say "w--?" but there are a lot who are horny while theyre active on tinder and you dont even have to be good looking >>450822947 # >>450823876 # >>450824050 # >>450824178 # >>450826958 # >>450828035 #

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Anon lives for his imaginary girlfriend | /r/Greentext

♥ Why does self-improvement not work for me? Anonymous 12/09/23(Sat)11:19:10 No.30323923 >>30325259 >>30325271 >>30325386 >lift weights, run, climb >have a good body >trying to get a valuable degree (engineering) >work part-time >invest money >have positive networth (20K) >take care of my appearance with haircut, skin-care, grooming >wear normal clothes >trying to learn the piano >cook >read books >grow plants >already 24 years old and never had a girlfriend Does self-improvement just not work for me? Is it my genetics? I am 5'9" and ugly. Anonymous 12/09/23(Sat)11:21:53 No.30323939 ✓ >>30323923 (OP) because you do it for your imaginary future girlfriend, not for yourself.

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Unexpected Submission | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 86 KB JPG 12/09/23(Sat)02:41:08 No.910564606 >girlfriend is attacked by 2 men 2 week ago >she was not penetrated but they abused her >on the day I feel completely devastated and feel a burning sensation in my stomach >but now I masturbate imagining those two running their hands over her breasts and her body as she had told me W-- did I become a cuckold? I feel a little more about taking pleasure in the situation, but the pleasure is too great, has anyone gone through something similar?

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Libido Lamentations | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Stupid sex drive 1.36 MB JPG 12/09/23(Sat)09:08:51 No.75706210 Makes me miserable >be me >horny >think about chick I messed up with >fap >post nut clarity >don't give a flying f--- again >repeat I just want to be at post nut clarity 24/7, you tupid god. I feel at peace when I genuinely don't give as s---, but of course god can't have that. He wants to watch me squirm

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Anon is 5'2 | /r/Greentext

File: 63f1e51f8f75d3fa140e55c0d(...).jpg (64 KB, 1034x1080) >engage in convos with coworkers >start taking side quests by going shopping with someone or getting a coffee >never romantically, never physical >suddenly a girl from the group ask me to go with her and have lunch off work of course >she says, "Oi XXX you're such a catch i can see why girls and bros at the office always want to be around you, you calm and chill to be with its a shame you're not taller" >say what?.. >taller?.. >say "excuse me?" with a gentle smile to not be taken as if im offended >she replies "yeah!, girls always say you this and that but you're not tall or you know.. manly looking.. uhhh (she realized she came off as offensive) >i tilt my head in confusion >"hehe.. hehe.. you know, like a real man right?, you look more like a cute plushee, but everyone say they totally f you if you were a bit more manly" 5'2 in in in in in >she winks at me trying to make it seem like it was a bit of a joke >i smile, told her i had something to do, drover her home and say my goodbyes >i cried on the parking lot of my apt complex for 2 hours straight i feel like i want a hug Anonymous 12/09/23 (Sat)11:05:18 No.75708805 ► >>75708808 oh, so they were nice to me because im not a "threat", well, holy f------ s--- anons. "self improve" this and that not worth it, its been a week from that and ive been drinking like crazy, i give up. 5'2 5'2 >be 33 >motivated by mangas and stuff a few years ago so start lifting and becoming strong >change treats and be chill and not a tryhard >smell good, shower daily, teeth looking good 5'2 >cool job, learned how to drive and start hanging with past friends a bit more every week >stopped drinking every day and lazing >not a bit of happiness >who cares men have it hard i am men >approach girls, often saying hi or good morning when passing by, gentle and all 5'2 5'2

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