Anonymous 53 KB PNG 11/29/22(Tue)14:04:13 No.86878406 Petty DM stories. I'll start. > Be Me > Be playing Totem Warrior Barbarian > Pick Bear because enjoy being the damage sponge so squishy team members survive encounters. > DM pits us up against a group of bandits > bandit hits me with sword > DM tells me i take 10 points of damage > remind him im raging and I would take half > DM: Oh no, his Sword deals psychic damage instead of slashing. > confused but say ok > next bandit hits with fire bolt > DM tells me they used a transmute meta magic to change it to psychic > start feeling targeted > next bandit punches me > SOMEHOW it also deals psychic damage > call shenanigans > DM tells me im only whining about nothing. > he then says that the bandit's dog bites me and deals 2d8 psychic damage. > MFW

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Pov You, the Evil wizard are flooding the Barbarian's brain with horrific knowledge beyond their compression. (they don't get it)

When two druids team up:

Party: I think we're on the right path The DM describing the path: STOSTIST STORY STOSTOSTOST STOP

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Underage PCs

Anonymous 1.06 MB JPG 02/28/23(Tue)23:36:10 No.87899457 Do you as a DM let players play characters under the age of 18? 03/01/23(Wed)09:08:06 No.87902863 Anonymous >>87899457 (OP) # I do, but i do have rules for them > The Character cannot be allowed to seduce, flirt with, or romance NPCs (or vice versa) as its kinda weird. > The Character shouldn't drink Alcohol or should be considered a lightweight when consuming alcohol. > The Character must have an explanation for why they are adventuring at a young age. > The Character shouldn't be allowed to consume drugs or performance enhancing substances. > The Character cannot sign contracts or be the face of the group. > The Character must have a stat below average as they are not fully grown. > The Character must become an adult halfway or near the end of the campaign.

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Anon Outsmarts Metagamers

04/01/23(Sat) 23:23:05 No.88288445 >You knock Rictavio's hat off? >He seems quite upset and demands you apologize as he dusts off his hat. >You want to kill Vasili? Roll initiative. >The villagers seem quite upset you've killed an innocent man. >No, there's no trap there. >No treasure in that chest. 291 KB PNG : Anonymous >Were you expecting something else to happen, dear player? Surely you weren't reading ahead in the book. : Anonymous 122 KB JPG >>88288560 # 04/01/23(Sat) 23:31:09 No.88288508 NOO000000 YOU'RE CHANGING THE ADVENTURE PATH NOOOOO000 CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA

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Anon Is Good With the Ladies

: Anonymous 323 KB JPG : Anonymous 368 KB PNG 01/25/23(Wed)01:48:32 No.87493516 >The lady knight kisses your hand, praises your beauty and asks you to dance How does your character respond? 01/25/23(Wed)01:50:24 No.87493526 >>87493516 (OP) # BOBBBBOOO000OBUUUUUUUAAAAA >composes self Of course, shall we? UUUUUUUUUAAAAAAA HOOBBA HOBA HOBA HOBA HOBA HOBA AAWWWOOOOGGGGAAAA

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Alternative Starts

: Anonymous 378 KB PNG 03/02/23(Thu)11:15:39 No.87915652 Is there anything that's actually wrong with the classic tavern start, or is avoiding it one of those things uppity f---- try to push because everything needs to be a creative masterpiece? Cause it sounds to me like a pretend-to-get-mad-for-upvotes meme like comic sans. : Anonymous >So, you're all in a tavern 03/02/23(Thu)11:46:11 No.87915998 >>87915652 (OP) # Its a bit cliché. There are more unique ways to start your campaign. > You meet upon the road to a major city > You escape a jail together > You are the survivors of a massive attack/battle > You were kidnapped by bandits > You grew up in the same town/village > You were teleported to a weird Demiplane > You were hired by the same guy > You met in a brothel

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How to Best Play Evil

: Anonymous Alignments? 30 KB PNG 03/03/23(Fri) 16:04:13 No.87929707 How does one go about playing a Chaotic/Evil character without ruining a campaign for the other players and the DM? I trend toward Lawful/Good but have been wanting to give CE a shot but don't want to mess with other people's fun. 03/03/23(Fri)18:34:56 No.87931188 : Anonymous >>87929707 (OP) # Its a very thin line to walk when you're playing CE when everyone else is a Lawful or good alignment. My advice would be to play it like a Suicide Squad member. Luckily i had a character just like that. > Had a CE warlock > Got caught by town guards sacrificing citizens to my patron (Asmodeus) > was arrested and sentenced to death > before my sentence could be carried out, the kingdom got attacked by Demons > Luckily my warlock was a very prominent demonologist > King offered me a deal, Help put a stop to the demon scourge and I would be banished instead of killed > My warlock took the offer > the king did have insurance on me by putting me in the custody of a group of adventurers > they were tasked with killing me if i was to step out of line. > had a fun time with that group for about a year and a half.

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All Hail!

probablybadrpgideas Refuse to differentiate between important and unimportant information in your scene descriptions. "Looking around the ruined street you see a few burnt out houses, various bits of rubble, 4000 demons pointing swords at you, a pile of knocked over street signs and a stray cat." suchprettypride All your players, immediately: I PET THE CAT cosmicastrogazer "The 4000 demons immediately lower their blades, as you have successfully shown proper tribute to She Who Walks the Shadows, The Bitter Talon, The Dark Queen of the Pit, Mrs. Flufferbutt."

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Dread Lich George Washington

: Anonymous 20 KB JPG 04/20/23(Thu)15:32:36 No.88525248 >Running a game in civil war fantasy America >Catholic priest gives them a scroll of resurrection after they saved him from skeleton banditos >"We should revive George Washington!" >Look it up >He's been dead less than 100 years and he technically died of a throat infection >Plays are now obsessed with resurrecting George Washington >Next week they're headed to Mount Vernon to try and rob his grave I know I brought this on myself but what do I do? >>88525289 # >>88525315 # >>88525323 # >>88525375 # >>88525486 # >>88525511 # >>88526368 # >>88525804 # : Anonymous : Anonymous >>88525248 # They find the grave empty. The Lich Washington faked his death. 04/20/23(Thu)15:32:46 No.88525251 04/20/23(Thu)15:35:53 No.88525289

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“Surprise Audits” have gotten me into more places than I care to admit | /r/dndmemes

DMS PLAYERS USING THEIR IRL PROFESSIONS TO PERFORM AN AUDIT OF YOUR FANTASY ORGANIZATIONS imgflip.com DMS PLAYERS USING CREATIVE SOLUTIONS TO GET INFORMATION PLAYER'S "CREATIVE SOLUTIONS"

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It always hurts when a good friend turns out to be evil. | /r/dndmemes

C made with mematic My DnD Party's assistant NPC The NPC being wanted across the planes

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"Didn't stop you one bit did it?" | /r/dndmemes

The bard: Tells the story about how his first girlfriend turned out to be a succubus The rest of the party: made with mematic That's rough, buddy.

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"i don't know which way is down? well how about i use that rock of gravity detection" | /r/dndmemes

rules lawyering party that don't have any "good" magic items intentionally"useless" but accidentally poorly worded magic item. I can milk you

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Artificer ingenuity knows no bounds | /r/dndmemes

DM: How would you even sleep with a dragon? The Party's Artificer: Oil of Slipperiness Potion, uncommon This sticky black unguent is thick and heavy in the container, but it flows quickly when poured. The oil can cover a Medium or smaller creature, along with the equipment it's wearing and carrying (one additional vial is required for each size category above Medium). Applying the oil takes 10 minutes. The affected creature then gains the effect of a freedom of movement spell for 8 hours. Alternatively, the oil can be poured on the ground as an action, where it covers a 10-foot square, duplicating the effect of the grease spell in that area for 8 hours. Item Rarity Common Uncommon Rare Very rare Legendary Workweeks* 1 2 10 25 50 Cost* 50 gp 200 gp 2,000 gp 20,000 gp 100,000 gp Magic Item Adept When you reach 10th level, you achieve a profound understanding of how to use and make magic items: • You can attune to up to four magic items at once. • If you craft a magic item with a rarity of common or uncommon, it takes you a quarter of the normal time, and it costs you half as much of the usual gold. @TieflingMelissa

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Dungeons and Dragons - Anon's DM Is Petty

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Anonymous 53 KB PNG 11/29/22(Tue)14:04:13 No.86878406 Petty DM stories. I'll start. > Be Me > Be playing Totem Warrior Barbarian > Pick Bear because enjoy being the damage sponge so squishy team members survive encounters. > DM pits us up against a group of bandits > bandit hits me with sword > DM tells me i take 10 points of damage > remind him im raging and I would take half > DM: Oh no, his Sword deals psychic damage instead of slashing. > confused but say ok > next bandit hits with fire bolt > DM tells me they used a transmute meta magic to change it to psychic > start feeling targeted > next bandit punches me > SOMEHOW it also deals psychic damage > call shenanigans > DM tells me im only whining about nothing. > he then says that the bandit's dog bites me and deals 2d8 psychic damage. > MFW

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