Anon goes on a date. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 157 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)16:44:40 No.75142647 >Be me 23 years old >Finally convince crush to go on a date >Spend all my savings on a fancy restaurant, new clothes, and cologne >Feel like a baller >Date night arrives >Pick her up >Dinner is going well, we're laughing, getting along >Time for the bill >My wallet is crying >Pay for the dinner, trying to act cool >She says, "Thanks, this was fun. I'll text you later." >Days pass, no text >Week later, still nothing Why did I do this.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn't think too highly of India | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sars 1177 10/21/23(Sat)19:07:57 No.188941146 64 KB JPG >1.5 billion n----- >Known for smelling like s--- >Known for s------- openly in public >Some of them unironically believe that cow dung has magic powers >Known for having a s--- ton of scammers >Dark as f--- but racist against blacks >Oh right, the caste system You definitely suffer in India

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"Anon" makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

10:32 : Anonymous What's the most embarrassing t(...) Vo)) LTE1 67% 58 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)09:07:41 No.75134908 >be me >year is 2018 >make post on /v/ about God of War 1&2 and ask if they are worth playing in 2018 >didn't bother to download a pic of the game cover to use as the attached file >decide to random choose a reaction image from a cartoon instead >except I instead selected the wrong file which was a actual photo I took of my drivers license which was saved on my computer >press post >new page shows up with me asking if GoW 1&2 are worth playing with a pic of my PhotoID as the attached file. >OH F--- OH F--- OH F--- >try over and over to delete thread but it won't work >panic.exe >random anons start asking who's photo, address, heigh is that on the card >reveal that it's me >"f--- now all of 4chan knows where I live and all of my personal info, what do I do about this" >anons start making fun of my looks >anons start calling me an absolute retard >anons warning me that something bad will happen > random anon in the replies says that he knows who I am and he has seen me before >20 replies in and anons are laughing uncontrollably at what I've done. >post finally gets taken down at around 130 replies. Fortunately nothing happened to me but after that I had to quit 4chan cold turkey for 2 or 3 months.

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Cant lift these feels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 0 0 no gf 46 KB JPG 10/19/23(Thu)00:46:14 No.29985514 >tfw tfwnogf is literally my only problem and its driving me insane S--- sucks. >29M >own my own (fairly nice apartment) and drive a pretty decent car >no debt, while not any kind of 'rich', I don't worry about money >got the dream job, fireman in the last year, its an asskicking as a new guy, but it only gets better >loving family and have a small group of close friends >in-shape, no bodily ailments and not officially diagnosed with anything mental (though I unbiasedly suspect some amount of autism and OCD) >tfwnogf my whole life, and frankly, it ultimately stemmed from never actually giving it a proper 'try', as well as really never interacting with girls as a child so I always had/have the autistic struggle of communicating with women >actually got my first actual gf over the summer though some mutuals, and she was pretty much exactly the ideal never-ever kinda girl I thought I would never meet, let alone date >felt fully content with life for those few months and thought I officially made it >she dumped me a month ago (almost to the day) on what could only be described as a whim >everything feels awful since and all my efforts thus far have been worthless >downloaded the dating apps again, set up accounts and have been swiping, but haven't started chatting anyone up yet >it feels pointless and like a waste because I actually had exactly what I wanted it and slipped away from me, and now I think I'm psyching myself out of anyone else by clinging on too much to what was How do I get over this?

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Anon is afraid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/04/23(Wed)17:09:45 No.6530 VALVE 1.3 MB PNG >Microsoft came crawling back >EA came crawling back >Ubisoft came crawling back >Square Enix came crawling back >Activision came crawling back >Blizzard came crawling back >convinced Sony to put their games on PC >now direct competitor is hit with layoffs Is he becoming too powerful?

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anon talks about beavers | /r/Greentext

The cult of the beaver Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)20:45:18 No.2 How many people do you think would die for this beaver? Anonymous 10/19/23 (Thu)20:47:03 No.27115764 ► >>271157 >>27115759 (OP) Must be a flyover thing. Is it supposed to look so retarded?

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Anon accidentally doxxes himself | /r/Greentext

What's the most embarrassing thing you've done on the chan What's the most embarrassing t(...) 10/21/23(Sat)09:07:41 No.75134908 >be me >year is 2018 >make post on /v/ about God of War 1&2 and ask if they are worth playing in 2018 >didn't bother to download a pic of the game cover to use as the attached file >decide to random choose a reaction image from a cartoon instead >except I instead selected the wrong file which was a actual photo I took of my drivers license which was saved on my computer 58 KB JPG >press post >new page shows up with me asking if GoW 1&2 are worth playing with a pic of my PhotoID as the attached file. >OH F--- OH F--- OH F--- >try over and over to delete thread but it won't work >panic.exe >random anons start asking who's photo, address, heigh is that on the card >reveal that it's me >"f--- now all of 4chan knows where I live and all of my personal info, what do I do about this" >anons start making fun of my looks >anons start calling me an absolute retard >anons warning me that something bad will happen > random anon in the replies says that he knows who I am and he has seen me before >20 replies in and anons are laughing uncontrollably at what I've done. >post finally gets taken down at around 130 replies. Fortunately nothing happened to me but after that I had to quit 4chan cold turkey for 2 or 3 months.

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Anon looks in the bath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 363 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)11:09:06 No.908031869 >Go to clean the bathroom >See a huge bug in the bath >Really hate the f------, nearly s--- myself >Look closer, realize it's just a twig or some s---, that looks like a bug >Relief >Go to pick it up to throw it out >Grab it >Actually is a huge bug ffs

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Anons experience with zoomer women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous about zoomer women, from a zoo(...) 956 KB JPG 10/11/22(Tue)22:17:41 No.70550690 I am in highschool, so i have relevant experience in dealing with them. Most of them, around 97% are completely soulless. I mean borderline braindead. Their hobbies are >snapchat >tiktok >instagram >watching whatever the current thing is on netflix They have no passions, no real interests and even with chad their "conversations" are just >have you seen (current thing) >have you consumed (current product) >etc I have meet only 3 women who aren't like that. Those of you who post on here saying you want young gfs either want a braindead fuckdoll, or have no clue what you're talking about. Even in relationships they do nothing, yet expect regular gifts and dates. Their intellect is terrible. here's some examples >thinking north america is a country >not knowing where france is >actually,congress has 5 parts >why doesn't my chromebook have a windows key? s--- like that. if you want to know more then ask me. i have plenty of stories.

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I feed 2 animals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)10:21:03 No.654727803 "This is just a hypothetical question. Let's say you're on the brink of starvation and righ animals, also starving. Someone gives you a gun and tells you to shoot one of them. The one on the right is a lion. The one on the left is a kitten. What do you do?" LEP front of you are a truly perplexing dilemma.jpg 185 KB JPG OTVER MOON >Let's say you're on the brink of starvation and right in front of you are two animals, also starving. >Someone gives you a gun and tells you to shoot one of them. >The one on the right is a lion. The one on the left is a kitten. What do you do? ok /v/, how do you solve this utterly perplexing moral dilemma?

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Anon’s girlfriend is: damn based. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/23 (Sat)07:31:55 No.908035756 >In car with girlfriend. >She's driving. >Idiot driver in front of us. >Stop behind them at a MY N---- light. 38 KB JPG woman too." >Girlfriend looks at them. >Says "of course it's a H-------- my girlfriend is based as f---.

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Anons a bad person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous story from highschool lol 88 KB JPG 10/27/22(Thu)12:17:28 No.70753277 >girl named Abby >known for being just a classic, furry, harry potter horse girl, and an actual autist >embarrassed herself constantly >was already made fun of 24/7 and had to sit in classrooms at lunch >not a single friend >always seemed happy despite this >like a retarded puppy or something >would always greet me and be genuinely happy to see me even though i made fun of her too >started handing out cards that were like friend dating profiles one day >said something to the effect of >"hello! if you've received this card its because you are cool. id love to get to know you and be your friend!" with a photo of her smiling and doing the thumbs up in a yellow sundress >clear her mom or someone had helped her make them or some s--- >get handed one >thank her >get her wattsapp >message her and act like her pal for a week >tell her im coming over with (names) and that we're bringing food and alcohol >gonna show her what a real good time looks like >she orders pizza for all 8 of us >sends photos of her with 4 large pizzas >i reply with a video of me with the people i said were coming to her around a campfire >throwing in all the cards i was able to scrounge together and laughing To this day, 6 years later I do not have a single regret. Me and my boys STILL laugh about it

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Anon writes for Dead Meat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)09:22:41 No.654768470 1664612635984696.png 245 KB PNG >Guy gets bisected by piano wire >"HOLY F------ S--- THAT WAS AWESOME, GOLDEN CHAINSAW FOR SURE!!" >Camera zooms in on girl's ass >"yeeeah... this movie didn't age too well. Hey, any film- makers watching? Maybe... don't?"

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