Don't let girls inside your friend groups. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 01/28/23(Sat)12:14:07 No.893410448 ► >Be me >Be in this friend group for 5+ years, we all met online p much >Mostly boys, with one or two girls >Hang out everyday on Discord in VC, meet IRL pretty often, talk about literally everything, play lots of vidya, have the dumbest arguments and the most emotional convos >Literally my best friends ever, we all love each other a ton >One of the boys, let's call him Jason, has been dating this girl in our friend group, let's call her Stephany, for 4+ years at this point >Suddenly they break up, messy stuff but the friend group stays intact. Jason is super depressed though, Stephany looks mostly okay, bounces back up very quick >Another boy from the friend group, let's call him Todd, starts secretly dating Stephany despite being Jason's best friend in the group >Jason eventually finds out, immediately leaves the friend group, cuts all communication with us >We're all panicking because he won't answer to messages, we're afraid he might kill himself, never hear of him again >Todd feels like s---, is super depressed >Stephany acts depressed at first, but bounces back very quickly. Is back to normal within a few weeks like nothing happened, while the rest of us are still shocked and somewhat depressed >Just yesterday another boy leaves the friend group because he couldn't bear Jason's sudden leave, cuts all communication with us and calls us d---- for not standing up with Jason Never let girls inside your friend groups, bros. They will tear it to shreds

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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RIP Dumbledore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 5 KB JPG 09/28/23(Thu)23:00:15 No.190379606 >"I must go now, Anon. My time has come." >The white mist began to swirl around him. He was fading. >"But don't stop shitposting on mt account, Anon. Don't let your memories of me fade." >He stretched his legs one last time. >"Don't forget: I might be off this ride, but you're here forever." >He passed calmly.

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Anon is a bottom mathematician | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 96 KB JPG 08/02/21 (Mon)08:44:21 No.21734413 >be bottom mathematician >be dating top engineer >he gets mad at me when I do unconventional notation like using j for imaginary numbers instead of i or not using leading zeros to represent probability >today me and him went on a hike and we wanted to calculate the mean threshold for optimal slope ravine navigating >when setting up the integral suddenly an epiphany hits me >if dx can be treated as an operative and if integral multiplication among the reals is associative then it shouldn't matter if the dx ends the integral or starts the integral. >put the dx before the integral I got hate f----- so hard that night

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The Principles of Newspeak | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 41 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)15:37:40 No.74500275 >be me >chatting with a zoomer girl I matched with on Bumble >unironically calls p--- "corn" >ask if she means p--- >says it comes from using tiktok and not wanting to get flagged by the Al or something >but she uses it in everyday life >says "unalive" instead of "kill" or "dead" >says "seggs" instead of "sex" >says "grape" instead of "r---" >says "le$bian" instead of "lesbian" there's more that I can't remember rn. it pisses me the f--- off. does this annoy anybody else?

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Anon got bond burgered | /r/Greentext

ⒸITT: Forgotten memes of /tv/ past Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)13:51:53 No. 115776015 Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)16:28:12 No.115783989>>115784275 >>115784363 >>1157 epic.jpg (21 KB, 540x464) google yandex iqdb wait Last night I your sister Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)16:35:46 No.115784 bond burger.jpg (93 KB, 640x480) google yand Bod >>115783989 >>115783989 >last night I Pierce Brosnan hamburgered your sister Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)17:08:14 No.115785 Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)16:33:51 No.115784275 >>115797959 >>115804233 >>115805011 1553714039048.jpg (22 KB, 526x423) google yandex iqdb wait >>115783989 BOND ABURGERED Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)17:12:33 No. 115786 1558982850856.jpg (97 KB, 838x838) google y Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)17:56:23 No.1 >>115783989 spy bun sister? >>115783989 wait a minute Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)20:42:28 No.1 >>115783989 you bondburgered my sister? Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)18:05:39 No. 115788954>>115797815 Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)20:47:41 No. 115797815 >>115797959 >> >>115783989 >>115788954 >>115783989 It makes sense if you combine it with the architect meme >last night I had Pierce beef up your sister Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)18:36:10 No. 115790509 Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)19:22:11 No.115792996 >>115797959 >>115804233 >> >>115783989 >>115783989 So is it "pierced in n' out" or 69'd? It's "pierced the buns of your sister. nonymous 05/29/19(Wed)20:49:48 No. 115797959 >>115798746 >>115801022 >>115802446 >>115805011 >>115783989 >>115784275 >>115785879 >>115786088 >>115788420 >>115788954 >>115790509 >>115792996 >>115797506 >>115797815 ITS SILENTLY POUNDED F---. I MADE THIS ONE NIGHT AND THOUGHT PEOPLE WOULD GET IT. TURNS OUT YOU GUYS ARE ALL STUPID F------ MONGOLOIDS. Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)21:05:55 No. 115798746 ✓ Anonymous 05/29/19(Wed)22:24:08 No. 115802446 >>115797959 no you retard it's bond burgered >>115797959 It's gun bunned

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Breaking Free from Poverty | /r/Greentext

38m (9/29 1:17) · 74891673 · 1 Re - 1 Img PNG 93KB (396 × 385) · ea4.png 1 Reply G : You have no excuse to be poor in 2023 if American >California literally legalized theft >all stores throughout most states are unable to prosecute you for stealing >weakest government of all time >weakest IRS of all time >weakest military of all time So.. why aren't you stealing or debt maxxing to get rich? You have no excuse not to unless you just don't like money.

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Anon jacks off and is horrified. | /r/Greentext

File :1182758495.jpg-(21 KB, 450x337, dead_ant.jpg) >>06/25/07(Mon)04:01:59 No.30920594 Your urethra.. >> 06/25/07(Mon)04:02:50 No.30920668 Other ants >>06/25/07(Mon)04:03:32 No.30920729 >>30920594 God damn it, Anonymous. My apartment has ant problems sometimes during this time of year, but I've never seen them outside of the kitchen, and certainly nowhere near or in my bed. I don't have a roommate or a gf or anything, so I think I can rule out someone playing a prank on me >>06/25/07(Mon) 04:03:41 No.30920740 That's what you get for shoving Pixie Stix up your d-------. >>06/25/07(Mon)04:07:53 No.30921073 They have obviously accepted you as their new queen. I assume they will be mass produced for the war with rival ants? 06/25/07(Mon) 04:01:35 No.30920557 Okay, /b/, I hope you can explain what happened to me. I just jacked off into a napkin. Okay, fine, that's normal, it's what I usually do before I go to sleep. Only along with the usual globs of semen came a few carcasses of dead ants, and a significant amount of blood. I'm not going to be able to sleep the rest of the night. Where the f--- did those ants come from? >>06/25/07(Mon)04:09:37 No.30921208 Stop f------ whining. Your d--- shoots ants >> O 5/25/07(Mon)04:10:16 No.30921260 >>30921208 OP NEEDS TO FIGHT CRIME >>06/25/07(Mon)04:10:57 No.30921304 i can see it now... How do I shoot ant?" >>06/25/07(Mon) 04:11:47 No.30921370 You just awakened your mutant ability. Now you must c-- ants inside girls and spread your newfound powers >>06/25/07(Mon)04:12:34 No.30921424 OP has evolved into a killing machine. >>06/25/07(Mon)04:12:51 No.30921447 F--- you OP, I was about to fap before I read this thread. >>06/25/07(Mon)04:13:40 No.30921506 1. BUY MASK 2. FIGHT CRIMINALS WITH YOUR MAGIC D--- ANTS 3. ??? 4. PROFIT!!!! >>06/25/07(Mon)04 13:58 No.30921522 >>30920557 OP is the next step in human/ant symbiosis. Separate we are weak, but together nothing can stop us! >>06/25/07(Mon)04:14:51 No 30921593 I CAME INSECTS >>06/25/07(Mon)04:15:29 No.30921631 >>30921593 OH LAWD >>06/25/07(Mon)04:15:43 No.30921643 >>30921506 lolwut? >> 06/25/07(Mon)04:17:00 No.30921733 thats what you get for f------ an ant hill >>06/25/07(Mon) 04:19:16 No.30921892 >>30921733 f------ end of thread. I lol'd hard >> 06/25/07(Mon) 04:27:35 No.30922416 /r/ ant p--- >>06/25/07(Mon)04:28:27 No.30922463 bitches don't know bout my d--- ants >>06/25/07(Mon)04:28:47 No.30922490 You have to stick your d--- in an anthill so they can go back home. >>06/25/07(Mon)04:29:13 No.30922521 >>30922463 please turn into image macro >>06/25/07(Mon)04:30:55 No.30922628 >>30922490 LOL listen to this man. >>06/25/07(Mon)04:32:23 No.30922723 File 1182760343.jpg-(93 KB, 750x600, The rules.jpg) CMON /B/ I DEMAND RULE 34 THE BULES. >>06/25/07(Mon)04:32:04 No.30922697 File 1182760324.png-(11 KB, 600x472, you.png) >>30922697 >>06/25/07 (Mon)04:33:23 No.30922793 oh f---, i lol'd >>06/25/07(Mon)04:34:32 No.30922868. I know how to solve this problem.... GET AN ANTEATER TO SUCK YOUR D---! ITS A WIN WIN U GET RID OF THE ANTS AND U GET YOUR D--- SUCKED! >>30922868 ITS FOOLPROOF >>30920557 I drew this for you op.. >>06/25/07(Mon) 04:35:26 No.30922936 on.... d--- ants? >>06/25/07(Mon)04:39:22 No.30923190 i've lol'd at nearly every post in this thread >>06/25/07(Mon)04:40:26 No.30923263 >>30922723 >>06/25/07(Mon)04:40:55 No.30923294 Dat File 1182760855.png-(13 KB, 600x472, you.png) >>30922723 Op and his d--- ants >>06/25/07(Mon)04:42:01 No.30923358 File 1182760921.jpg-(18 KB, 204x252, antcloseup.jpg) I AM AN ANT AND I LOVE SEMEN, I MUST HAVE MORE SEMEN, GARBLE GARBLE >>06/25/07(Mon)04:46:43 No 30923683 This is just like the time i put sugar in my ass

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Rant of the guy who shot up a home and school today and killed 2 people, then set a hospital on fire in Rotterdam | /r/Greentext

View Same OCR Google iqdb SauceNAO Trace tfw.jpg, 26KiB, 564x518 >tfw political prosecution of Asperger men motorAnon ID: kp4zioh8 Sat 05 Aug 2023 20:15:57 No.436995585 >be me >legit clairvoyant genius, bordering on predicting the future >dont connect with 99.9% of "humans" (normies) because theyre clinically retarded compared to me >never had any friends or GFs (women instinctively hate aspie men because we dont fall for their manipulation) >go to med school >keep getting suspended for 6 months every year in there because "i dunno hes just weird" >teachers legit put that in the reports: "he does everything right but hes just weird, he creeps us out when he does X, Y, Z" >med school exam commission says they have to suspend me but cant kick me out because i literally didnt do anything wrong >takes me 10 years to finish med school >become a raging alcoholic every time they suspend me >in a blackout drunk stupor I torture one of my rabbits in my own garden and get convicted for it due to a coalburner videotaping it >allegedly kick my annoying puppy dog in garden, police raid my home SWAT style like I killed someone >police report this to med school, why you might ask? Because the local officer was angry I got off >med school exam committe says they refuse to issue my diploma now despite having all points from the curriculum >got fired from job because it depended on the diploma >destitute Replies: 336 View Report >hurrrr its your fault for being a degenerate alcoholic My dear asperger brothers, with my whole heart I strongly recommend you to just go NEET and never try to do anything in academics, especially if youre not a cuck and insist on speaking your mind like a man. You will be chewed out and you will realize too late that your success has nothing to do with your actual results but on how much other "humans" (normies) like you. Yes, LIKE you. The entire world hates us. Being high IQ is like being a nobleman during the French revolution. Asperger isnt even real, it stems from being so high IQ that you never connect with other people because their thoughts are on the level of a dog compared to you so you never socialize. Conclusion: death to normies. View Report motorAnon ID:rDjuDoj6 Sun 30 Jul 2023 13:14:22 No.436277701 >>436277232 Graduated med school and was set to do medical evaluations at home/while eating breakfast at 5 pailles in Paris. Then some cop seethed that i beat a criminal court case concerning me allegedly kicking my dog (the horror i know) and he sent emails to my university who then halted my diploma as they were signing it. So now im an effective neet, no job, no education, even my high school education was now basically retroactively for nothing. Thats why i tell you guys: dont try, stay neet. Its so easy to have decades of work and money ruined by either divorce or just some cop spitefully sending emails around/harrassing you/ false accusations. Dont try, you cant win.

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Anons discuss Wish | /r/Greentext

11m (9/28 10:11) 442685363.29 Re - 3 Img JPG 234KB (1080 x 1162) · Screenshot_20230928-110749_Chrome.jpg 9 Replies Disney Animation Promos @DisneyAPromos The official trailer for Disney's #Wish The movie hits theaters on Nov. 22. Disney WISH From Disney Animation eng 10:00 AM - Sep 27, 2023 9M Views TIFFICIAL TRAILER Follow NEW JEWSLOP JUST DROPPED >be white king with power to grant anyone's wishes >instead of using this godlike power to rule the world, preside over your kingdom and hear the wishes of the people /1707062730895540666 is out >if their wishes are worthy and noble, grant it to them >suddenly retarded quirky muttess appears >granting wishes responsibly is... le bad >you must grant all of everyone's wishes all the time and if you don't that means you're gigahitler https://twitter.com/DisneyAPromos/status 1/1 KGypsGqY. AC 9m (9/28 10:13). 442685545 1 Reply 1/3 h7Szqgn5##!!1sGRVCL7Exa US 8m (9/28 10:14). 442685669 5 Replies Obviously the twist at the end is that the king is going to be good. Why would anyone deserve free wishes anyway. If thats not the twist it's a badly written story. >jewslop It's just a movie? What's the big deal?

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anon in the 'most advanced' country | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/27/23(Wed)15:09:51 No.187931314 lol 39 KB JPG >regarded as the most advanced country in the world >sleep on the floor

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Anon gets revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 130 KB JPG 09/20/16(Tue)23:13:45 No.31553691 >>31552889 (OP) # >Got a couple of these notes left in my locker by one girl >I'm an ugly autistic sperg, but not retarded. I instantly deduce that it's a prank of some sort >They came about once a week, asking why I wasn't replying (She left no means to contact her so this further convicted me I was being pranked) >Noticed a trend, the notes came on Wednesdays only between my 3rd and 4th period >Skip 4th period, stake out my locker from the bathroom across the hall >See who dropped the letter in, she's laughing with her friends > let's call her Stacy >Next day I track down Stacy's locker, write some s--- about how I take joy in the fact that her father died when she was young and I hope he's having an excellent time in hell, among some other raunchy s---, full edge mode activated >From: Anonymous >She knew it was me >Get called to principal's office >Threatens to suspend me, Stacy is sitting there crying >Deny that it was me >Principal calls b------- but the administrator says there is no concrete proof that I wrote it >Get off the hook The only time where I've won a battle against a normie

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Italianon exlains flat Earth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [] Checkmate atheists ARCTIC OCEAN United States PACIFIC OCEAN Canada United States Mexico Central America Ecuador Peru Greenland (Denmark) Chile ATLANTIC OCEAN -Caribbean Guyana Venez Suriname French Guiana (France) Brazil Bolivia Paraguay Uruguay Iceland U.K treland Portugal 09/28/23(Thu)17:02:18 No.187952010 Dert Noth Bela Ger many ATLANTIC OCEAN Spain France Svalbard (Norway) (CEX Belar Polankraine Italy S Western Algeria Libya Moro unisia. Sahara Nigeria Mol Rom But Armenia Egypt Senegal Maurit Mali Niger Chad Eritrea The Gambia Fang Guinea-Bissau- Cane CAR Estonia Latvia Lithuania Greece Lebanon rad Cyprus Angola Zaret Sudanement South Rum Ethiopia.co Guinea Sudan Sierra Leone Liberia Ghana Benin Demen Cote d'ivoire" Togo Rep. of Equatorial Guinea Congo Gabon Bots ARCTIC OCEAN Turkey Zim Geor SOUTHERN OCEAN sta Jordan Afghan Saudi Arabia >be God >make flat Earth >put Americans on the left >the weight cause Earth rotation Iran Kuwait Qatar Somara Kazakhstan 2 3 UAE Yemenom Uganda Rwanda Tanz Burundi Turkm Malawi South Mozambique Africa Swatini Lesotho Ojbouti zboks you 25 1695895252467.gif 125 KB GIF Pakistan Nepal Russia Kyrgyzstan Tajikistan China Bhutan India INDIAN Madagascar OCEAN Mongolia Laos, Vietnam Taiwan Bur Bangla Cambodia Philippines Sri Lanka Malaysia. Indonesia Korea Japan S. Korea Timor-Leste PACIFIC OCEAN Papua New Guinea Australia Solomon Islands - New Caledonia Fiji New Zealand. Ⓒ2020 Geology.com

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Anon is crazy | /r/Greentext

172 KB PNG > Be me > Fell in love with classmates at 12 > Dated for 6 years everything was great > At 18 moved out of town for studies > Friends convinced me to hit the beauty salon cause i am kinda ugly > Transformation made everyone in my class flirt with me > Rich guy from class clueless about my BF makes a move > Long story short things get physical > Visit hometown one day BF still unaware of my betrayal > Share my secret with girl bestie, she spills it all > BF furious, nearly attacks me, confronts college BF > Both raging at me, trust in me shattered > Years passed, dad makes me marry a random guy for family honor > He has no idea I cheated on two people and married him and he is a virgin > I am about to have sex with him > mfw

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