Anon leave 4chan open in living room | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous [Report] Image search: [Google] 2016-07-17 20:33:52 Post No. 30016649 WOJAK FEELS I HAVE NO GF &I MUST FEEL >leave r9k catalog open >on lap top >in living room >leave to pee >mom sees picture of naked old lady >says "Like that picture of the naked woman on the screen" 445 KB, 841x1244 >freeze up, say "what?" >check it out, laugh it off like it's nothing >"Ohhh.... yeah, very attractive isn't she?" >she leaves, and now i'm sitting here wondering if we're gonna have a chat later.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon breaks the system | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 440 KB PNG 09/19/23(Tue)22:46:01 No.906345326 Creative ways you've gotten dates? >Be me >get tinder, have it for about a 2 months and get about 60 matches >half of them don't even reply >don't go on a single date >suddenly a plan hatches >delete tinder >find images of 10/10 chad >re-download and use them as my pictures >get 99+ pending matches within a day >end up with 5,000 matches within a week >plan a date with a 7/10 >tell her to meet up at a bar >go to the same bar around the same time >have her waiting 30 minutes >she texts me "where are you?" >umatch her on tinder >i'm currently watching her from across the bar >see her get visibly upset >approach her and ask say "hey are you waiting for someone?" >she says "i was but i think i just got stood up" >tell her "that sucks, can i join you instead?" >she agrees >have a great night and we end up going back to my place and f--- >have done this 10 times already and it works 85% of the time any other anons have creative ways they've gotten dates?

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Anon pets a cat............. | /r/Greentext

>be me, loser >No friends, low-paying s--- job >Would blow brains out if I could afford a gun >Sitting outside at night, 59 KB JPG looking at the stars >Wishing an asteroid would fall on me >Feel something brush up against me >It's a cat >Lets me pet him for a few minutes >Then runs away >Life is hard, but if you can pet kitties it's a little easier

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Anon likes buttcracks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 50507406 205,4 kB JPG For 37 min siden... s--- you did in grade school >be me, 1st grade >everyone sitting (criss-cross apple sauce) around the teacher on the carpet, who is reading to us from a book >guy in front of me has his butt-crack poking out of his shorts >stick my finger in his britches, and start playing around with his butt crack. he does nothing >this process repeats for a couple of days >one day he asks me why i do it, i say "hmm idk lol" and he says it's fine >eventually, some kid sees me playing with the dude's butt crack and asks "what are you doing?" >tell him "it is fun and feels good" >he asks if he can try, i let him do it >1 week later >virtually half of the class is fingering each others' butts during reading time >teacher has to tell everyone to stop and threaten to send us to the principal if we do it again

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Friendship to Romance | /r/Greentext

OP 2h (9/20 7:25) · 74794822 4 Re. 1 Img JPG 148KB (1080 × 603) 1695173092345527 (1).jpg Should I ask out this black girl? >Be me >20 >In college >Know this cute black chick >She's cute, wears glasses sometimes, has a thin and fit body with a great ass >I sit next to her in class and look over at her boobs because I'm a pervert >Pic is how much they are sticking out but in her shirt >Think to myself how the hell her shirt can contain those things : Her boobs aren't that big but looked so good in that shirt she w---- >I've actually seen pics of her in her sports wear and her top looks like it's literally holding in her boobs. >This girl actually likes me and we get along pretty well >No guy ever talks to her >Have no roommate so I can bring her without an issue So what should I do? Should I ask out this girl and get to pound her juicy black ass?

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Mixed Messages | /r/Greentext

UP 1h (9/20 11:20). 74796693 2 Re - 0 Img PNG 175KB (492 × 381) Screenshot 2023-08-29 at 10-45-46 i'm 24 and have never been in a relationship.png . ●●● I thought she was flirting with me.... w-- is wrong with women : made a mistake touching my boss... >female boss is this old woman who's kind of hot actually, I'm only 27 >sometimes she playfully touches me on my arms when we are talking >I never touch her but I like when she does it >tonight she kind of leaned in to playfully hit me again >I sort of flirtingly push her shoulder >she frowns and it seems like she didn't expect me to do something like that

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Anon is special | /r/Greentext

E500C3AB-FCBD-4C06-B75F-F3DC53E35607.png 58 KB PNG >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly say "white woman spotted"

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Anon's quest for Japanese deserts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Behold! The superior dessert. : Anonymous >ice cream :( >ice cream, JAPAN :0 09/10/23(Sun)16:20:48 No.19692955 98172359017253.jpg 162 KB JPG JUSTONE COONBOOK.COM 09/10/23(Sun)17:34:04 No.19693158 >>19693189 # >>19693235 # >>19695127 #

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The Pen Symphony | /r/Greentext

16m (9/20 1:06) · 74791673 0 Re - 0 Img JPG 2MB (2592 × 1944) parker-75-pen.jpg 1984: Grad School >be me >in grad program >click pen >some woman gets offended >click it more >be brought into office >be told how that student has a mental disorder over me clicking pen >have to listen to someone calling me a Nazi even though I'm Jewish, because I have blond hair and blue eyes. ⠀ Of all the rules I've broken, aggressive pen clicking is definitely the funniest. What do?

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All this just to get blasted by some broad named Jill Sandwich with a 9mm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/23(Wed)08:12:19 No.651415797 1664133857232596.jpg 335 KB JPG >every RE game some guy turns himself into a horrific monster to kill the heroes what is their plan if they win? be a giant monster thing forever?

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the story of a car transmission going out.. | /r/Greentext

LIFE IS STRANGE REMASTERED COLLECTION 234 KB JPG 11 >be me at 18 years old >I'm bisexual >Dating a 21 year old girl who transitioned M to F when she was my age >She Still has a penis and one night we're in her van on Grove street and I'm blowing her >She's moaning like crazy >My dad drives by and she sees him, he makes eye contact with her and she freaks out >We don't think he actually knew it was us so I finish her and call it a night >Fast forward a few days and we're going on a road trip with my dad >My dad is unaware that my girlfriend was born a male and I won't tell him anytime soon since he's wildly homophobic >We're driving down Grove street and I start sweating, hoping my dad doesn't talk about seeing anyone giving a b------ >He's about to say something when the car makes a loud bang sound and just stops >We get a mechanic to help us, turns out the transmission went out on us >My dad jokingly says to us "well kids, when someone asks you where you were when you blew your first t-----, tell them it was on Grove street" and he looks me dead in the eyes, staring deep into my soul I haven't talked to my dad in years

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Swipe Right for Chaos | /r/Greentext

Original Patchouli 2h (9/20 7:26). 74794825 4 Re-2 Img PNG 501KB (960 × 855) 1683495247769923.png ♦ ●●● : >grab some pics of some generic blonde white girl with a big ass from Instagram >use pics on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble >set my location to a poor part of town using location spoofing >match with as many "urban neighborhood" guys as I can >I have scheduled dates with over 200 of them this Saturday >all of them will be going to the same movie theater at the same time >movie theater is in a richer part of town too than where they're from Thoughts? >and they will be P----- when they find out they were pranked

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Antidepressants ain't antidepressing no more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/10/23(Sun)13:17:44 No.74687521 1627983075315.jpg 27 KB JPG >get on antidepressants >suddenly feel like killing myself

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