sisterfucker3000 | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous today i am going to make BAD choices 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)15:20:49 No.74586187 the f---? im not even into my sister im scared 96 KB JPG >jerking off >suddenly get text from sister >still jerking off but now thinking about her because she just texted me >c-- the biggest faftest thickest juiciest load of my life 09/01/23(Fri)15:41:37 No.74586355 It's the getting caught feeling your nutting from. I had a cousin who would only j------- when he stood the highest chance of getting walked in on. Like I'm pretty sure everyone in the family has walked in on him wanking at some point

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

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Anon loses chance for not knowing how to communicate with girls | /r/Greentext

>Girl in my friend group starts getting close to me >she tells me i'm good looking and compliments me often and invites me to places >every time i'm with her I act like an autistic sperg >Literally can't say more than a few words because i'm a loser and i'm scared of women Society chifting THE WEST Fallen If you would please consult the graphs 73 KB JPG >her friend messages me saying that she's interested in me and wants to f--- and i'm a dumbass for not getting her hints >meet her one more time before she moves away for a few months >act like an asexual sperg and barely even talk to her >text her a few days later >she called me bro >check her insta >she has a photo up with a guy and the comments are calling them a cute couple it's truly over. Where do I go from here?

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Anon wants to get high | /r/Greentext

File: high.jpg (24 KB, 500x454) Anonymous 09/02/23 (Sat) 09:09:32 No.74596173 >>74596196 >>74596221 >>74596357 >Be high >Want to get even more high >Dont want to cough >Get genius idea >I take a hit >While holding, I drink some water >The water will cool down the smoke as it goes down Mfw I realize I am a living bong Mfw it backfires and I cough like a bitch Mfw I burp about 10 minutes later and I burp up smoke

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Anon talks to a woman | /r/Greentext

File: 4CD0E952-4E65-4153-A1AF-B(...).jpg (107 KB, 598x665) Anonymous 2023 E VII Te 09/02/23(Sat) 10:26:12 No.74596566 >>74596578 >>74596675 >>74596703 >>74596728 >tell a woman that I'm a horrible person >"yeah sure who isn't" >tell her I do drugs >"haha cool can we do some together?" >tell her that I have a crime record and have scars >"that's kinda hot" >tell her that I'm broke and live with my parents >"you can come over to my place if you want" >tell her I have violent and homicidal fantasies occasionally >"who doesn't?" >tell her that I think that trannies are mentally ill and that homosexuals are disgusting >she instantly calls me an barrage of insults and then blocks me everywhere why the f--- are women like this Imao Anonymous 09/02/23(Sat)10:28:36 No.74596578 >>74596614 >>74596566 (OP) # Social engineering. Netflix taught them being a badass girlboss pablo escobaresque criminal is cool but homophobia is worse than being hitler :( Anonymous 09/02/23(Sat)10:36:14 No.74596614 >>74596650 >>74596665 File: BB9C775C-9591-4823-BD39-6(...).jpg (128 KB, 850x1131) >>74596578 # f--- man. How am I supposed to find a wife without going to the middle east these days?

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Anon got what he asked for | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/23(Sat)23:59:14 No.74519790 Also I think we should do some shopping together and I help you, you have potential but you hide bc you said you sweat, but there are clothes that can help with that bc now you literally wear a t shirt and a shirt, who wouldn't sweat in that hah it's better to just wear a loose shirt. Literally makes me sweat to watch you doing that. Also I think maybe you should consider shaving the armpits, that would help the sweat soooo much you have no idea! Also deodorant and perfum.... don't be upset at meeee please you told me to tell you what I don't like and to help and I like being with you so much criticism.png 26 KB PNG >laying in bed with girl I'm starting to like >girl is talking about some guy she was seeing, how there was so much wrong with him, but she obviously didn't feel comfortable telling him all of this >mention to her that I appreciate honesty and I don't want hints, I want her to directly tell me things >tell her that I won't be offended by things she says >a few days later, get a wall of text about stuff that's wrong with me Well, I got what I asked for, didn't l?

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Anon is a horrible model | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Realizing I'm ugly 09/01/23(Fri)19:58:02 No.74593671 91 KB JPG >be me >start talking to girl online >might actually make something of this >try to take a picture to show her >no matter how many angles I take I always look like a hideous monster HOLY F--- THERE IS NO F------ HOPE FOR ME I WANT TO ACTUALLY KILL MYSELF Anyone else deal with ugliness?

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Kids can be scary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/23(Wed)10:15:19 No.895538141 56 KB JPG >middle school, 2006 >quiet kid who mostly kept to myself, didn't bother anybody >finally ask out a girl I like, hit it off pretty well, becomes my gf >a rumor suddenly spreads that I r---- her, idk how or by who but it happens >spreads to the whole school and I become hated by nearly everyone >wtfwhyme.jpg >one day get called to the office >principal, dean, gf, and a cop are there waiting for me >s------- my pants as they all interrogate me and her about the rumor, poor gf is balling her eyes out the entire time >they let us go since she denied everything and it was dropped there >most students still resented me for the rest of middle school, gf broke up with me from all the harassment, the rumor followed me to high school and people hated me there too though thankfully not as much Kids are so stupid. I see how school shooters are made when that type of stuff happens to kids for no reason

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Anon meets a colleague | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri) 20:04:16 No.876773293 fcf0d2d1-1373-4c0a-a289-e3dba20703fe.png 1.45 MB PNG >newer guy in our office set up an Xbox 360 and a small screen in his cubicle and plays games on his lunch break >other people in our office make fun of him and talk s--- about it behind his back in the lunchroom >actually caught up with him outside on a ten min break vaping >chat a few times throughout the week >dudes a widow and hes always taking care of his kids >has no time to play games outside of work >decide to start playing games with him during lunch break >have a blast with him >other employees still talk s--- about us >I know this makes his day though because his face lights up with excitement everytime >even brought in some old 360 games to play together >dudes such a gem of a person and it makes me realizes how s----- life can be

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Anon loses his virginity. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 40 KB JPG 02/20/21(Sat)16:51:29 No.847878647 >be me >22 year old kissless virgin >sitting in class >hear Chad behind me talking about how his gf tossed his salad >get idea >start talking with him, become friends >start talking about sexuality >ask if he's ever been with a man >he says no, but he's often wondered >convince him to do it with me >f--- his ass >his gf had her mouth on his ass >I'm basically getting a bj >he breaks up with her to be with me >we've been doing this for years >mfw the faot doesn't even know I'm just using him to get blown

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Anon is mentally challenged | /r/Greentext

>be me >at school this morning >girl that likes me comes up to me >I was sleeping with my head on the desk >she whispers "wakey wakey" >I woke up, she asks me what was I dreaming about >"U-uhhh about f------ you really hard" >she gives me the most terrified look >a lotta people heard me >no one talked to me for the rest of the day >saw thots look at me and whisper to eachother I f----- my life harder than I wanted to f--- that girl in my dream :|

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This is getting quite silly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 4Kicl/1H Elon Moment 12/16/22(Fri)19:50:00 No.408609519 619731CE-8607-4326-A39A-AA5BA13DF507.jpg 61 KB JPG >exclaims "Vox Populi, Vox Dei" >posts poll on if he should let jet tracker back on twitter >doesn't get answer he wanted >shamelessly makes new poll >loses second poll by an even wider margin

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Perfect way to go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CfNHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit

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