Anon tries to get their flip-flops | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 08/19/23(Sat)13:15:07 No.74439573 >be me >go to retrieve a pair of flip flops i left at a friend's place >hang out with friend and go to catch a tram home >go drinking instead >we get a beer each and hide away in a dingy alleyway >1 beer turns into 2 >tram is not coming >dont really wanna go home either >2 beers turn into a quick trip behind a corner to piss >realise i left my backpack Anonymous >go back >backpack is gone >i am upset >try to go home >next bus is at 4 am >sleep over at friend's place instead >wake up early and go to check the alley again >on the way, me and friend spot Columbo >the closest a human being can look to Columbo, his beige coat glowing brilliantly in the morning sun >arrive at alley and search >find a book i bought yesterday and my earbuds next to a wall 555 KB JPG >no bag, just the book and earbuds >confused, but happy to have them back >mfw i never brought back my flipflops 08/19/23(Sat)13:18:42 No.74439591 the contents of the backpack included an umbrella, my wallet with my id, a box of herring marinated in tomatoes and oil and of course, the flip flops. this is the book i bought btw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon loses his hyper fixation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)19:00:56 No.74368136 IT'S JOEVER fetchimage (1).jpg 72 KB JPG > be me > bored > nothing feels appealing to do > nothing to watch on youtube > memes aren't funny > endless scrolling makes me sick > just lie in bed feeling s--- for the entire day Am I depressed or something? Genuine question. Because I don't feel sad, just numb.

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anon wastes countless hours hoarding worthless shit | /r/Greentext

AL AVAVAVA U Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)15:37:38 No.647818537 >playing an RPG >heading to destination >see shiny herb off path >It's worth like .01 gold and makes a s--- potion I never use >already have thousands in my inventory >go and collect it anyway >every >single >time >I must have the shiny Can't tell if this is my autism or if I have Jewish ancestry

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Anon is pushed to the edge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)05:59:52 No.29602920 File: 1686675173661455.png (148 KB, 645x363) >be me >a week ago >doordashing to make ends meet >go up elevator >waiting >doors open >11/10 qt with amazing t---, cute face on the other side >she recoils at the sight of me >think about how I ruined her mood by being me >she was disgusted >I am less of a human than her >I am trying so hard to survive for people to look at me like this >blink >Im in the sporting goods section of a D---- walking towards guns >my phone is buzzing >Ive had an alert running for 40 minutes and I didnt even notice.

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Anon loves Chuck E Cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cheesed to meet 61 KB JPG No.878577169 05/21/22(Sat)12:50:57 What's your opinion on Chuck E Cheese? >be me, talking to qtpi for a week >went on a lovely date at the zoo >plan to go to a concert by the river >texting till midnight the night before >she says she used to like Chuck E Cheese as a kid but not anymore >triggered.jpg >lay out all the reasons why CEC is the greatest arcade of all time >flash forward to concert >shesnothere.jpeg >ghosted, blocked, unmatched Why are women like this? Chuck E is an excellent arcade with great food and entertainment.

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Anon and her mother's paranormal story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Reptile eyes/sideways blinking 08/19/23(Sat) 20:53:47 No.35655411 >2009 >family telling stories >mom tells this story about visiting her mother in the hospital >says she talked to a man at the front desk and noticed a woman sitting behind him >said she saw her blink sideways >mom disregards, thinks she imagined it >begins looking more closely at the woman >the woman makes eye contact with her >she does it again >mom says it was like she wanted her to know that yes in fact she had seen it 7 KB JPG >she started blinking normally after that >horrified her for years, she stood by her story and no one ever believed her >ffw 2023 >this lady freaks out on the plane after seeing man blink sideways Not gonna lie bros I never believed this s--- until this video came out. This was an awakening for me What are these things anyway?

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Anon on the big brain Japanese writing systems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 40 KB PNG 08/16/23(Wed)17:10:20 No.74404362 >decided to make their own simplified one called Hiragana because they hated China >some buddhist monks thought it would be fun to make another system but this time it would be phonetic transcription like Latin called Katakana >ended up using all 3 of them in one sentence and no one can understand them beside weebs are they really the smartest people on earth? : Anonymous >be Japanese >didn't have any writing system >borrowed one from the neighbor China >what the f--- this Kanji thing was too hard 08/16/23(Wed)17:14:14 No.74404387 >make written language a cruel shitpost >highest literacy rates how

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Would this ackshually work? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 7mZap7Q9 08/20/23(Sun)08:03:30 No.438502413 ► File: 7deda9d8ea687c3caab5c313e().jpg (61 KB, 589x487) WE MADE PEACE EE I BOUGHT ISRAEL AND DONATED ALL OF IT TO PALESTINE 23M views 1 day ago

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat) 20:11:42 No.904631024 Mark-Zuckerberg-and-Priscilla-Chan-tout-010322-1- 5886dc684347491687ce5912e38ab9c7.jpg 139 KB JPG I don't understand this. Why does a rich man have an ugly wife? What is it that turns him on?

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It do be like that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 361 KB PNG 1 Reply 08/19/23(Sat) 19:50:19 No.74442506 a tall blonde woman just looked at me View Thread 08/19/23(Sat)19:51:50 No.74442521 : Anonymous >>74442506 (OP) # >sir, what are you doing behind the bushes? i'm gonna call the police

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Anon reads Scott Pilgrim | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Kim from Scott pilgrim the 03/28/23(Tue)23:13:29 No.72741744 >learned how to j------- in grade 6 >Started jerking off daily, too various internet p---------- medias >Borrowed scott pilgrim from the library one day for a book project >Had no clue what is it about >Started reading the book >Saw Kim Pine >Damn she is so hot, that weird Canadian f----- really made her the thickest baddie in comic book history >My inchworm got a stiffy just from the first glance >In a school day, reading vol2 >In the first few pages kim was doing the deed with Scott the first time 113 KB JPG >My little buddy immediately got rock hard from it >Rushed to the school toliet with the book, went to a stall and pulled down my pants in light speed >Whipped out my little twig and started jerking off at the book while imagining I was Scott who's gently deflowering her >Got stimulated so hard i started moaning >'Kim.....i am comiing......KIM AHHHHH!" >On the edge of c------ >Suddenly, the stall door opened and in front of me stood the f------ from the other class that just finished P.E >I was so horny that i forgot to lock the door >Everyone was in utter f------ shock >Except my edging manhood, which precisely aimed at the book and sprayed all its love seed on it >Feeling of dread quifkly overcame me >Went to the principal's office for that and my parents never let me touch any comic book since then >Had to pay the library 30 bucks for the book repair >Got bullied and called 'Scott Pilgrim' for the rest of my school life Tfw a comic book redhead ruined my life 9 Replies View Thread

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Anon blacks out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zdzsMpy4 ) + Redpilled my neighbors 14 KB JPG 10/11/16(Tue)09:22:59 No.92459148 >take a few shots of 60% alcohol >take 2 mg xanax >blackout >wake up the following morning wth a massive hangover >go outside >somebody has dug a two feet deep pit in the front yard of our apartment complex >find out that was me >apparently it was a bomb shelter for the upcoming nuclear war >find out from neighbors I was muttering about the jews, return of nazis and the blatant corruption in american politics to passerbys while shoveling the dirt angrily >police came, laughed and carried me inside >too embarrased to leave my house neveragain.jpg 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon should have settled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)12:58:13 No.74442595 >be me >meet woman on Bumble >5, 6 with good makeup and right lighting, couldnt hold a conversation, but thought I was funny and f----- on first date >think about breaking up after third date, but end up having sex >mentions she would be open to trying a---, decide to hold off >remember that ive done better in the past, decide to break up >5 was kinda bummed, but got over it >one year later I have no gf and jack it every night while alternate timeline me is buttfucking 5 35 KB JPG Dont be like me anons. Take what you can get. Learn to settle and you might be happy enough one day.

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