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STOP MAKING GOBLIN PCs GOBLINS WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE HEROES • YEARS OF CAMPAIGNS yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for THE GOBLINTONGUE LANGUAGE Wanted to PLAY AS A MONSTER ? We had a tool for that: It was called BEING THE DUNGEON MASTER "Yes please give me EARS BIGGER THAN MY HEAD and A PET RAT. - Statements dreamed up by evil wizards LOOK at what PLAYERS have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the WORLDBUILDING & LORE we built for them (This is REAL ART, done by REAL PLAYERS ): ??? "Hello I would like They have played us Tapples please" absolute fools

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Pov You, the Evil wizard are flooding the Barbarian's brain with horrific knowledge beyond their compression. (they don't get it)

When two druids team up:

Party: I think we're on the right path The DM describing the path: STOSTIST STORY STOSTOSTOST STOP

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Since some of you were wondering, what might Veggie have tucked away in his black folder, well... | /r/dndmemes

GOLEH, NEUTRONIUM Neutraliser Large Construct Hit Dice: 250d1000+1,966,080 (2,216,080 hp) Initiative: +79 Speed: Fly 5,901,426,338 ft. (perfect) (1,180,285,267 squares) Armor Class: 932 (-1 size, -1 Dex, +80 gravitic mastery, +844 natural), touch 88, flat-footed 932 Base Attack/Grapple: +187/+437 Attack: Slam +512 melee (40,960d10+246; average 225,526) Full Attack: 2 slams +512 melee (40,960d10+246; average 225,526) Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft. Special Attacks: Gravitic aura, heat aura, pulsed x-ray, starquake Special Qualities: Accretion, construct traits, damage reduction 1500/-, darkvision 60 ft., fast healing 1500, gravitic mastery, immunity to magic, low-light vision, magnetar, superluminal, unearthly construction Saves: Fort +163, Ref +162, Will +163 Abilities: Str 502 (+246), Dex 9, Con-, Int-, Wis 11, Cha I Environment: Outer space Organization: Solitary, patrol (2-4), or with time lord (DvR 192, 960 HD) Challenge Rating: 9721 Treasure: None Alignment: Always neutral Advancement: 251-353 HD (Large), 354-707 HD (Huge) Level Adjustment: +17,427 (assuming intelligence/sentience) A ball of blistering heat surrounding this automaton is palpable. At its center you can discern a dark grey humanoid shape, only slightly taller than a human, but proportionally built like a stocky dwarf. The surface of the figure is featureless, in fact, it seems to bubble and ripple as if constantly boiling. Neutronium golems are immensely powerful constructs fashioned from the super-dense material of a neutron star, sometimes known as death stars. These juggernauts were created by the time lords, who refer to the golems as "neutralizers", for the purpose of defending the borders between the higher and lower dimensions. Those who leave the confines of their own universe and attempt to enter another are usually intercepted by one or more of these extra-cosmic automatons. Very rarely, neutronium golems will themselves enter lower dimensional space at the behest of their creators to counteract some perceived threat. In these scenarios, the golems could be likened to cosmic scalpels, with the universe as the patient to be operated on. Aneutronium golem stands 8 feet tall, 7 feet broad and some 6 feet deep, and weighs approximately 226,000,000,000,000 tons (effectively 452,000,000,000,000,000 pounds). A neutronium golem's unfeasibly high density gives it +32 Virtual Size Categories. A neutronium golem does not speak. COMBAT A neutronium golem is an all but invincible opponent, and is gene- rally powerful enough to deal with even multiple cosmic-level threats simultaneously, or at the very least delay them until a time lord arrives to investigate the disturbance. Even approaching a neutronium golem is extremely hazardous for all but the most resilient opponents. Those struck by a neutralizer's powerful fists are often disintegrated with a single punch, their remains briefly decorating the the construct's body before being inci- nerated and crushed to infinitesimal fragments by the unrelenting heat and gravity. A typical punch (averaging 225,526 damage) is fully capable of destroying a planet (an Earth-sized planet would have roughly 122,880 hp). Accretion (Ex): Anyone striking a neutronium golem must make a DC 461 Strength check as an immediate action to be able to retrieve their weapon (or appendage) from the automaton's surface following each and every attack. The save DC is Strength-based. Damage Reduction (Ex): Neutronium has a natural hardness of 1 500. Fast Healing (Ex): The immense gravitational energy of a neutronium golem binds it together, allowing it to naturally heal 1500 hit points per round. Gravitic Aura (Ex) The great mass of a neutronium golem causes gravitic disturbances within the localized area. Table G-1: Neutronium Golem Gravitic Aura details the myriad effects of this ability. The save DC is Strength-based. TABLE G-1: NEUTRONIUM GOLEM GRAVITIC AURA Unconscious Hp Damage Death 10% 2% DC 461 DC 461 Radius 20 feet 60 feet 200 feet 600 feet DC 461 *The target's maximum hp is reduced by this amount each round. DC 461 Gravitic Mastery (Su): A neutronium golem is not subject to gravity, including its own. It can control the ebb and flow of its own gravity, giving it a +80 elemental mastery bonus to its: armor class; attack rolls; checks (ability checks); difficulty class (for any special abilities); initiative; and saving throws. Stunning Heat Aura (Ex): The local area surrounding a neutronium golem burns with the fury of a thousand suns. Table G-2: Neutronium Golem Heat Aura details the divine fire damage experienced at different ranges. TABLE G-2: NEUTRONIUM GOLEM HEAT AURA Divine Fire Damage Radius 20 miles 60 miles 200 miles 600 miles 62d1000 (average 31,031) 15d1000 (average 7507) 3d1000 (average 1501) 1d1000 (average 500) Immunity to Magic (Ex): A neutronium golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance. Magnetar (Ex): Once a neutronium golem has identified a target for termination, the two beings are inextricably linked, and the neutronium golem can follow the target anywhere. Treat this as an infinite-range Spell Stowaway attuned to any magical methods of movement. Pulsed X-Ray (Su): A neutronium golem can emit a pulsed x-ray each round as a free action. This wave targets everything within a 1000-mile spread centered on the golem. Those within the area of effect immediately suffer 125d1000 divine fire damage (average 62,562) with no save. Starquake (Ex): The death throes of a neutronium golem result in a cosmic conflagration, much akin to a miniature supernova. Table G-3: Neutronium Golem Death Throes details the amount of damage. Blast damage should be treated as bludgeoning damage. The effect is roughly equivalent to 150 petatons of TNT. The save DC is Constitution-based. TABLE G-3: NEUTRONIUM GOLEM DEATH THROES Radius Disintegration Fireball Blast 140 miles DC 215 1400d6 2000d6 330 miles 1400d6 2000d6 1000 miles 1500 miles 2000 miles. 2500 miles 2000d6 200d6 20d6 2d6 *Ability damage to Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution. Radiation* 200 200 200 20 2 Superluminal (Ex): A neutronium golem travels at the speed of light. This gives it a movement speed of 5,621,108,587 feet, the equivalent of 1,117,694 miles per round or 186,282 miles per second. Unearthly Construction (Ex): A neutronium golem is fashioned by lords and other similarly powerful beings. These cosmic automatons use drooo's for Hit Dice and have maximum hit points per Hit Die. CONSTRUCTION A neutronium golem's body is created from the heart of a neutron star. Conjuring the body requires a successful DC 9721 Spellcraft check. CL 9721st; Craft Construct, disintegrate, fireball, geas/quest,poison, reverse gravity, wish. Caster must be at least 9721st level; Price 1,939,000,000 gp, Cost 969,500,000 gp + 77,560,000 XP. ADVENTURE IDEAS Mid-cosmic: A neutronium golem has been destroyed in proximity to a planet by some unseen power, but its death throes have blasted and burnt half the world. Those creatures that have somehow survived have become mutated (into paragon pseudonatural cogents and worse) from the radiation, and the borders between the two sides of the planet have become a dangerous battleground. High Cosmic: Azathoth, an insane and dreadfully powerful old one from the Far Realm, has somehow been able to possess a neutronium golem, and has decided to have the neutralizer destroy all deities of the universe. High Cosmic: An army of neutronium golems has warped into space in a desperate effort to salvage your universe from annihilation at the hands of a great host of umbrals led by the entropic first one Tamas himself.

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A sirens song | /r/dndmemes

155555555 made with mematic PATHFINDER None who venture there ever return That place is evil

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The power is just at your finger tips | /r/dndmemes

Moon druid After all... why not? Why shouldn't I multiclass into barbarian made with mematic

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Not done sazza posting | /r/dndmemes

$M made with mematic many are intimidated by this mighty thingy's magnificence but mourn them ye shall not for they be weak ass bitches \/$

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“And they disappear in a poof of magic” | /r/dndmemes

When the party is about to annihilate the BBEG, but the DM wants to save that for another session: CLASI

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Warlocks be like | /r/dndmemes

BIBIC made with mematic Where short rest? 07:26

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Heartbreaking news... | /r/dndmemes

This is the most incredible patch update note I've ever seen. GAMEPLAY • Penises C and D no longer clip through some githyanki clothing. 8:56 AM- Aug 11, 2023-928 Views (†) Origin Ⓡ Race Appearance Class Venture Forth Skills Abilities

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I'm a Beta Fish man myself. | /r/dndmemes

Recognising Hand Scars by Goal N Papercut from arts & crafts • Chef Auto mechanic • Viking • Barbarian • Dragon wrestler House cat owne

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Lonely tree...

extraoneup Your Druid is sneaking through the camp site and a few soldiers start walking towards her general direction. Druid: Uhh, I turn into a tree. DM: The camp you're sneaking through is in the middle of an open field. Druid: I'll turn into a tree anyway. Soldier: Hey, has that tree always been there? Druid: I've been here for weeks. DM: Roll to bluff. Druid: Nat 20 Soldier: Well the tree would know better than us I suppose.

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What was old, is new again.

imgflip.com I use mage hand to give the bandit testicular torsion The rest of the party... OH NOO!!! You can only use mage hand on small objects OH SNAP! NICE!

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Don't act like you don't have a "special" folder filled with certain death. | /r/dndmemes

Player lvl 1 *character sheet* This little motherfu... STR 18 DEX 19 CON 17 INT 19 WIS 18 CHA 19 DM ...wait, here's a chance to use my black folder encounters. STR 18 DEX 19 CON 17 INT 19 WIS 18 CHA 19

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Yoink! | /r/dndmemes

Ranger: I can make this shot. Rogue: You absolutely cannot. Ranger: It's what? 200 yards? It's a stretch, but doable. *to DM* I nock an arrow. Rogue: I take his bow. DM and Ranger: What?? Rogue: He misses, it blows our cover. I'm not taking that risk. DM: Uh, I... ok. Sleight of hand against perception. Rogue: 27. Ranger: ...ffs, nat one. DM: So, you have the shot lined, you draw back, and then your hands are empty. ⒸAP KEES L L

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+1

Dungeons and Dragons - Why not try playing an elf or a human? | /r/dndmemes

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STOP MAKING GOBLIN PCs GOBLINS WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE HEROES • YEARS OF CAMPAIGNS yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for THE GOBLINTONGUE LANGUAGE Wanted to PLAY AS A MONSTER ? We had a tool for that: It was called BEING THE DUNGEON MASTER "Yes please give me EARS BIGGER THAN MY HEAD and A PET RAT. - Statements dreamed up by evil wizards LOOK at what PLAYERS have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the WORLDBUILDING & LORE we built for them (This is REAL ART, done by REAL PLAYERS ): ??? "Hello I would like They have played us Tapples please" absolute fools

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