anonette suspects the tard | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)14:05:28 No.904499838 >be me, 19f >tardbot still won't SHUT THE F--- UP >really consider buying earbuds to make him SHUT THE F--- UP >$80 >broke.png >don't wanna be a w---- just yet >mfw i have to deal with tardbot for 2 years >mfw tardbot is incapable of being in society >tardbot constantly whines of growing up, doesn't wanna grow up >suspect he's a tendie anon why do these people exist? I am literally being annoyed every other minute by either his tablet videos, or his tardbot behavior, its getting unbearable. 693 KB PNG

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon goes on a bus trip. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 301 KB JPG 09/30/18(Sun)20:53:02 No.48446841 >Taking bus to New York for senior trip >Holding onto what little sanity I have left >Entire graduating class is on the bus >Endmeplease.gif >Long ass trip means I need sleep. >Damn chaperones put me with the tards in the front >Exceptionally stupid one named Ronnie sitting next to me >Ronnie can't sit still and keeps elbowing me >Say something to teachers >Careless wrangler tries to get him to chill >Ronnie gets triggered by this and knocks him out >Oh f---, of all people >Loses his mind and heads to the back of the bus >Large m----------- knocking people out as he runs by with his fat arms >Son of a bitch bashes through window and almost falls out >Very big guy hangs on for his life >Shouldn't just watch and let him die >Kick my way through the crowd and grab his hands >Yanks me onto the road, impact knocks me out >Regain consciousness in the woods >I'm tied up for some reason >Mfw I read the first letter of every line

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anonette is furious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 08/17/23(Thu)10:14:49 No.904490374 >be me, 19f >tards in life skills >WHY.EXE >most tards are quiet >one tard, lets call him tardbot >tardbot is different >tardbot plays with his phone, annoying everyone >gets told multiple times to stop, still keeps doing it >holyfuckingshit.png >SHUTTHEFUCKUP.EXE >only way I can escape is with noise cancelling headphones >headphones are banned in class, only useable during lunch or in between classes >mfw anons, what should I do about tardbot? he's very hard to ignore when I am trying to pay attention in class

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Anon got played by the Canadian system | /r/Greentext

No. 904494352 08/17/23(Thu)11:55:48 DABvscqxQl.png 39 KB 600x500 >be Canadian >broke and want to make quick dollar >assign for a fake marriage with a refugee girl in Syria so she can be a Canadian citizen >basically I will get $13,500 CAD and a wife on paper who will have to live with me for some time >deal.exe >fast forward to today >go to the courthouse >"Mr.Anon and Mr.Bagher please" >what the >they tricked me and it's a dude >mfw they pay me $500 CAD more and thing must keep going >mfw I'm legally gay now 0 replies, 0 images

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Anon share a work story. | /r/Greentext

Work stories? I'll share mine, I was a guitarist in a band, the first time I played in public actually went so bad I never played a guitar again. I'll tell you about my first and last gig: >be me 198 KB JPG >17 at the time >my father sets me up to perform to perform for a christian gathering outside a church >pic related it kinda looked like that >evetybody is already seated, I start singing >emotions overcome me, so I start screwing up all the chords >I am so embarassed I even stop singing >to save the situation I pretend to faint pornstarsActBetter.mov >everyone gathers around me in shock, looks like they are buying it >someone grabs me, probably to get me to the hospital >I thought they were going to load me in a car, but they actually used what felt like a horse drawn cart or a carriage >I didn't know these people were amish, but whatever >I realize that the doctors at the hospital will notice I am faking, so I decide to pretend waking up >as I open my eyes someone says "hey you! you are finally awake" >mfw I start hearing medieval music >mfw everybody is dressed in medieval clothes >mfw as I see Todd Howard dressed as a priest running off in the distance, I realize I am in Skyrim And that's why I stopped playing the guitar.

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Boomer squeezes cheese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8/17/2023, 11:03:53 AM No.30941047 18 KB JPEG > Be me > Boomer (Pic related) > Shuffling down the street with my walker > Going to pick up boner pills > The heat gets to me. My stomach gurgles > Suddenly start blowing mud in my boxers > Flows down my canary yellow Bermuda shorts > Past my black knee socks > Into my white vinyl loafers > Squishes when I walk > The smell is disgusting > I hope my boner pills are ready

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two anons bullshit each other | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 455 KB PNG 08/18/23(Fri)00:59:42 No.74422603 > Be me at college orientation > Theres a group activity to meet new people and try to make some friends >God dammit >pair up with this other guy who seemed pretty chill but also sporty >after an awkward pause he asks me if I saw the game last night >autism kicks in >never watched sports but I said I did unfortunately see the game >Why was it unfortunate he asks me > Make some s--- up about there were a lot of bad plays and the refs made some dumb calls >says he agrees with that, it honestly could have gone better >Feel like I'm doing a good job bullshitting >Asked him what he thought of the game and which team was his favorite >long pause I want to die >"Actually bro, I didn't see the game. I was just feeling awkward and wanted to make some small talk" >We were f------ bullshitting each other about a nonexistent game

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Anon loves being a zoomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)18:01:01 No.74367824 EAT SLEEP R--- REPEAT Global Blue E Global Blue Global Blue 1685630608107657.jpg 2.56 MB JPG >Wake up >j------- >hit my strawberry kiwi elfbar >boot up pirated Skyrim anniversary edition its good to be a zoomer

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Anon is chad....... | /r/Greentext

7 KB JPG >am Chad >get Stacys whenever I want >betafag roommate >introduces me to 4chan >lose all my friends, my family start to hate me and I never get p---- again Thanks F------

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Anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 531 KB JPG 07/13/22(Wed)11:10:02 No.881955464 >Be me >Tired of the r--- dwarf hurting innocent lives >Invent time machine and go back in time to kill it's mother before it has even been conceived >Meet young female dwarf >Fall in love >Have sex >She gets pregnant >Realization sets in >WhatHavelDone.png

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Femanon is a shit person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 107 KB JPG 09/02/22 (Fri)17:56:51 No.884961353 >be me >24 y/o femanon, been f------ the same guy for 6 years >never had much sexual experience outside my bf >bf decides to join the military >i can finally unleash my inner slut >fast forward to now >bf has been deployed for six months, told him when he gets back i will marry him >i have already f----- at least 15 guys while he was gone >while hes out there in the field suffering, probably gonna die, i've been out here living the dream >life is good He has no idea ive been cheating on him Imao

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1) Denial. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 743 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)09:56:07 No.51098963 SHE IS NOT A GUY YOU CAN NOT CONVINCE ME THIS IS A GUY. ITS A HER. ITS A SHE. IM NOT GAY THIS IS A GIRL A GROWN WOMAN EVEN REPEAT AFTER ME GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIR LGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGI RLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLG IRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRL GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIR LGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGI RLGIRLGIRLGIRL

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The worst is people getting offended by "retard". Bunch of fucking retards. | /r/Greentext

3 KB PNG 4chan >Call someone a f----- >At worst they call you a f----- back >That's that Reddit >Call someone a f----- >"I thought that in this day and age we wouldn't have to deal with homophobia my grandfather was a leather daddy in the 50s and he had AIDS and that's ok and multiculturalism is great and I love b--------- and... Etc >You have been banned fro r/whatever please suck our d---- to come back Redditors can't even handle entry-level banter, they're like the preschoolers of the internet.

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