The tale of anons t---- | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>wake up >notice my right man boob popped out of shirt >j------- to it glistening in the morning light 51 KB JPG >c-- >fall back asleep >brother who lives in same room jacks off to my t---- as well >we both are asleep

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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/out/tist is awestruck by the beauty of our universe | /r/Greentext

Board /out/ - Outdoors : Anonymous Take the Milky-pill Settings Mobile Home 08/04/23(Fri)11:16:06 No.2625816 MilkyWay.jpg 1.91 MB JPG > Be me > Lived in the suburbs my entire life > Become more infatuated with nature after becoming a beekeeper > Can't see the Milky Way, or really many stars for that matter, because of light pollution > Go to middle of nowhere Sonoran Desert in Arizona for vacation > First night. See moon > Brightest I've ever seen the moon (presumably because light pollution snuffs out the light of the moon where I live) > Sad cause bright moon won't let me see the Milky Way, but the moon is very neat nonetheless > Second to last day > Moon has yet to rise > Go outside and see an abundance of stars > Look closer > See feint strip of the Milky Way > It's the most beautiful night sky I've ever seen > Be in awe at the absolute beauty of the night sky God has painted above us I gotta move away from any presence of the city and get some land in the middle of nowhere. How can some people go their entire lives not seeing the beauty that God has placed above our heads EVERY SINGLE NIGHT? Suburb-bros and city-bros, take the Milky-pill.

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Anon chooses violence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/12/23(Sat)11:24:02 No.26909185 IMG_1668.jpg 74 KB JPG >"sorry champ, test drives are only available if you put down a 1000$ non-refundable deposit first" how do you respond? 08/12/23(Sat)11:25:50 No.26909189 : Anonymous >>26909185 (OP) # >Buy the car >Crash it into the showroom

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Anon Saying Goodbyes | /r/Greentext

No. 904141510 08/11/23 (Fri)10:29:17 download.png 8 KB 271x186 The letter is written and the pills are ready. It was a good run, I am going into the eternal slumber. May your lives have everything good that I won't experience. 17 replies, 2 images

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Anon wishes he was born as a different sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 40543791 193.2 kB JPG 16 min. ago... >be female >Can get lovers effortlessly, many of which will literally pay all your bills just because you have a vagina and let you neet it up forever >get jobs even without proper quali- fication because MUH OPPRESSION gender quotas and shiet >have your special halo effect, "women are wonderful effect" that ensures people love you and care about you by default >can ruin any good man's life on a whim, no consequences >can f------ cosplay and occasionally take pics of your feet and get $50k a month on patreon from thirsty betas truly the oppressed gender REPLY

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Anon is a nob | /r/Greentext

>be me >try masturbating for the first time >c------.jpg >feel incredible pain in the d--- afterwards >wait for the pain to go away >10 minutes later, it still hurts a lot >try taking a piss, feels as if my d--- was being stabbed >spend 20 mins on the toilet, because I can't get anything out due to d--- pain Why tf do people do people masturbate several times a day or at all if this is the s--- that has to be dealt with afterwards?

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Technically the truth

Anonymous| 45243472 42,2 kB JPG >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" >He's technically right >I am losing a lot of fat

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Anon has a point | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >Why do you guys assume I'm a 400 lb cheeto-dust-covered neckbead just beacuse I'm a virgin? There's this thing I have called autism that yields the same results.

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Anon makes a school-report.......... | /r/Greentext

>be me, high school >report on people who inspired us >do a report on my dad for his military service >ask him about his service when he was a wee lad, do not specify it is for a paper >tells me all these stories about intelligence operations and what he did in his service >write a paper about literally everything he told me >turn it in and read it to my class, and submit it online >three years later, today >do some research out of curiosity on his group >nothing comes up in my searches, it's as if these operations never happened which is weird because they literally impacted the world on a huge scale >ask my dad about it >he said the majority of it is still classified, and not supposed to be spoken of >realize what i just did >mfw i leaked government secrets and classified information to a classroom full of retards

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Anon controls the economy | /r/Greentext

77 KB JPG 50% of this is stolen material >buy chips >finish chips >call number on the back >say they were stale >they send me a voucher for a free large bag of chips >idea.jpg >try the same process with different brands >actually works >try again with different foods saying something was wrong with it in some way >everything I buy becomes BOGO >grocery app says I've spent so much money I have tons of coupons >the whole process took long enough I figure tech support has forgotten me so start again with original chips, buy them almost for free with coupons >mfw I control the economy

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Anon has a gender dysphoria cat | /r/Greentext

> depressed > no purpose in life > family notices there is something wrong > decides we should get a pet > my mom buys a Maine c--- cat > its the most fluffy and awesome cat > everytime I go to sleep the cat jumps to my bed and sleeps with me > literally my best friend at this point > one day > decides to buy my cat a new toy > buys a electrical controlled rat > my boo will love it > come home > the cat is gone 64 KB PNG > the cat is at a veterinary to get castrated > oh okay > the cat comes back > few weeks go by and I notice the cat has changed > its more angry > also seems to be confused > start peeing like a female cat > its impossible to pet the cat at this point > also started to eat his own tail > we take it to the veterinarians > find out it has become gender dysphoria > the veterinary says its best to put him down > my parents agree My only friend got killed because it didnt know if it was either a boy or a girl. Im even more depressed now what the f---

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Anon uczy się polskiego | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Polish 08/14/23(Mon)10:10:26 No.74378718 > mezczyzna > dziewczyna > ciasteczka Yes I'm Polish, how could you tell? HELLO my name is Szczyjkjchzy Wojwekszcsj 63225d5ba295e.jpg 58 KB JPG > be me > decide to try polish on duolingo > first words they try to teach me are: > konstantynopolitanczykowianeczka > brzeczyszczykiewicz I don't want to learn Polish anymore. :/

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Anon has a rough day | /r/Greentext

18 KB JPG >Buy $200 worth of weed >Take one hit >Get paranoid about going to prison >Flush it all down the toilet >Remember it's legal in my state How's your day going, Robots?

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