Anon orders pizza. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/04/18(Sat) 22:37:56 No.47283647 >be me 5 minutes ago >ordering pizza for the first time ever >ask for a pizza, some fries and a can of cola >pizza lady replies "we don't have cola, is pepsi ok?" >i freeze up 75 KB JPG >brain trying to process what she said, this isn't how this interaction played out in my head >mutter out "...taxi?" >after a silence she finally responds "sorry sir could you repeat that for me?" >brain finally catches up >"oh yes, a pepsi is fine please..." im never ordering food again i'll stick to microwaved dinners

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Walkable cities are...le bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Most Common Means of Transportation to Work by County, 2019 ACS 5-Year Estimates Drove Alone (Car, Truck, or Van) Public Transportation Taxicab/Motorcycle/Other Means Walked Created with Datawrapper 08/08/23(Tue)05:05:36 No.185738358 A tyranny of movement.jpg 531 KB JPG >you will drive the car >you will buy the gas >you will get a driver's license >you will carry the correct license class for the vehicle type >you will give us the title >you will tag your car or you will be fined >you will pay for retarded levels of insurance every month/year or you will be fined or jailed >you will pay for registration every year or you will be fined and your insurance will increase >you will pay for repairs or your vehicle won't pass inspection >you will wear seat belts or you will be fined or jailed >you will drive at the speed limit or you will be fined or jailed >you will signal or you will be fined or jailed >you will NOT remove the cats >you will NOT import and drive whatever you please >you will have a backup camera and TPMS >you will comply with ever changing rules regarding tint, exhaust decibels, air bags, seatbelts, light placement etc >you will put up with emissions regulations >you will not be able to buy uncucked diesel engines >you will drive the leased EV bugpodmobile >you will shell out tens of thousands of dollars to buy a depreciating asset >you will shell out tens of thousands of tax dollars for state owned driveways where the government decides where you can drive "in freedom" >you will shell out tens of thousands of tax dollars for government rats policing and monitoring every moment of your "freedom" looking for any reason to stop you and haul your ass to jail >you will put up with third-world-tier roads >you will deal with state mandated parking lots and 6 lane highways without any walkways for humans, creating giant empty deadzones between your home and the next grocery store and school, literally forcing you to buy a "freedom" car just get around the cars and road deadtraps. >you will spend years of your entire life just taking your kids to school because they can't just walk or bike 5-15 minutes to school like in human countries and you will be happy >>185738379 # >>185738451 # >>185738530 #

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Anon is a nervous driver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 146 KB JPG 05/10/22(Tue)09:00:38 No.68569308 Appreciation time. >be me >nervous driver >hate highways, always take back roads >driving at dusk, see car pulled to side of road >slow down to be careful >there are skid marks behind the car, looks to have hit a mailbox >car is empty, no one around >continue driving >see blond woman walking down road >slow down again to be careful >she notices me and stops walking >very pretty, looks my age >she gives me a thumbs up >feelsgoodman.exe >continue driving and make it home safe It's nice being appreciated. Here's a thumbs up to all of you.

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Anon receives an award | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Splatumbas 03/13/16(Sun)18:50:00 No. 135118732 ación Player Spoiler Image 108 KB JPG ación layer >find out my s----- country has Splatoon tournaments >nice, I'll participa... >the winner of last one got a f------ bunch of oranges >most of them aren't even ripe

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: GggzY3Ev) 09/15/19(Sun)21:54:18 No.226664440 ✓ >>226664541 1539790697543.jpg ✩ (68 KB, 1000x800) google yandex iqdb wait I wish I wrote a list over all the s--- that got me banned on my old facebook, but I remember some >"You're not child free by choice, you're child free because you're a fat, unappealing old hag who no man wants to be around" >"Destroying nature and natural order is a very jewish thing to do" >"Can I suck your d---, bro?" on a picture of a t----- showing his bulge

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anon is a delivery driver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Be me >delivery driver for local mom & pop pizza restaurant >dad's best friend owns it so he hooked me up with a job >prettychill.jpg >just drive around and deliver grub, but sometimes encounter customers who don't tip at all or tip s----- >last week I returned a big order to the restaurant because I had to make like 3 f------ trips from car to house with the food and I literally received zero tip, I think it was a party >explained to my boss immediately after I did it that they didn't tip >also explained I refunded their delivery fee and hadn't f----- with the food in any way >he said don't do it again but that he understood my frustration >he seemed kind of irritated but everything seems fine now !! 08/07/23 (Mon)21:31:39 No.903927759 159 KB JPG Did I do wrong? I don't want to lose my job so I'm gonna listen to him, but I don't feel like it was wrong. They're more than welcome to come pick it up at the store themselves, it will be cold by the time I get it back to the restaurant but if you're going to be a cheap f--- don't be surprised when life pays you back.

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Anon has typical virgin experience, wants to off self. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB JPG 08/07/23(Mon)11:04:41 No.29522728 >29 >finally lose my vitginity >probably was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life because I finally got to this point that I was so nervous I actually couldnt keep it hard (also my girl was actually too tight to actually get it in) >l eventually sorta just end up cooming with it soft in the worst performance I've ever seen or imagined. Was actually 'in' for maybe a few seconds >gf kept saying s--- like 'its ok we were both nervous' and 'sex aint that important to me, i rather cuddle' after Should I just an hero now?

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Anon explores twitter | /r/Greentext

Screenshot_20230719-012907.png 702 KB PNG >be me a few years back >Scrolling Twitter >Look up random s--- for laughs >Find some dude posting his d--- pics, it's like 3 inches long but he has a pretty big following >Scroll to comments, they're all commenting "c---" and nothing else >Scroll comments, literally goes on for 100s of comments straight with no other comments besides "c---" >Every single post is like this, it's not even bots either it's just random ass dudes commenting the word c--- >Go back to the account one day to find it suspended >Year or 2 go by, find another person posting their nudes, this time it's a chick posting t--- >Check comments, all of them just say the word c--- >100s of these comments on every post. >That account gets suspended as well Is this a normal trend? Is it popular to comment the word c---?

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Anon commits mild acts of tomfoolery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 51 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)03:03:52 No.903945204 >was having a dream in which I had extremely powerful abilities >s--- like flying, able to pass through walls, think anything into reality etc >first instinct without hesitation was to start killing people and destroying as many things as possible >no remorse, no guilt, just destruction and merciless slaughter >started with killing people in their own homes after phasing through their walls >then started mind exploding gas stations and cars on the road >then flew at super sonic speeds towards cities and started snapping the skyscrapers in half >all while feeling I was completely justified in what I was doing, like there was nothing wrong with it What the f---? Do I just really hate society on a subconscious level, or do they legitimately deserve this fate?

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Anon is literally hitler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/18(Fri)20:13:00 Why do women always bring the worst out in men? I mean, yeah. That's not really their fault. This is on us, if anything. But it seems that when we're in the presence of the 467 KB PNG female gender, we just stop functioning. No.43912176 >at con >solaire cosplay >practised praising the sun >squat, extend, arms out, "praise the sun!" >just those four steps >get pictures taken doing this >mostly with other cosplayers >qt wants one >fuckyes.gif >stand next to her >same four steps as always >squat >extend >arms out >brain has a glitch and says "heil hitler!" instead

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Anon becomes a crypto bro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 139 KB JPG 04/22/18(Sun)11:35:24 No.766610823 Just bought a bitcoin from a guy I met at a bar for only $200. He said it will be worth about $10000 in about a year. >pic related - its the bitcoin

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Does anon qualify? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous OKE 07/27/23(Thu)10:22:40 No.74172306 >PUT IN THE WORK!!! >6'1 >make 58k/yr VOODO mike 20.png 1.19 MB PNG >car >8" d--- >6 pack >not in debt >good with children so where do i apply for a gf? DAW DO 149 PHARMA SPIDERS HOBGOBLINE Mikke PROTEU RIPPER OFFERINGS KOMOD BKS You D

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Anon hits the gym | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 45243472 42,2 kB JPG 3 REPLIES >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" >... >He's technically right >I am losing a lot of fat 0 IMAGES Anonymous | 45243502 Nice keep going man REPLY

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