Anon has a cool dad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>be me >about 12 or 13 >my dad bought me a ps2 >my dad would take me every other week to buy a new game >played a lot of cool games >we played this game called Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 46 KB JPG >it had a co-op mode so we'd play it together a lot >I'd always pick the human and he'd be the dwarf >we almost 100% it and even unlocked the secret 4th character Thanks dad

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon must pretend | /r/Greentext

> Be me > Absolute f------ loser > Go to gas station to get le slurpee one day > Notice cashier and his friend are laughing at me > Decide to f--- with them > Pick up pack of trojans and slap them on the counter with my drink > Their faces >Walk out feeling smug > Realize now I have to always be chad infront of them > Throw condoms in the trash outside I waste so much more money just to get my slurpees now because I always have to pick up condoms each time i go in there

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Anon witnesses horrible events going on | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 92 KB PNG 08/02/23(Wed)09:29:45 No.74248424 >pretty sure I witnessed a r--- last night >feel sick and barely slept >was bored at 1am and decided to go on a night walk >go to my local park where I normally go for night walks >big park with a path where you can walk a full circle and end at the gates you came in at >walking for about 20 minutes with my headphones on >suddenly hear a muffled voice among the loud music in my ear >take my headphones off >a woman's voice coming from the bushes to my left >i see her head and arms laying against the ground poking out of the bushes about 20 feet away >she begins screaming "HELP ME, HELP PLEASE" >I freeze up and my heart is racing >she keeps screaming and making noises at me >a man's voice says "get the f--- out of here" >turn around and run for my life without looking back I don't know what to do, should I make a police report? I haven't stopped shaking and even threw up

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Movie recomendations? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)14:36:31 No.183983542 Retard plant houseplant-twitter-thumb-700xauto- 233097_edit_711425076220609.jpg 148 KB JPG It is very hard for me to express how much I hate weed smokers. It is unreal how these worthless losers trigger me. Every single person I ever met in 27 years that smokes weed was a absolute retarded p------------ annoying cocksucker m------------ rat. Is there any movie that focuses on a junkie or especially weed f----- smoker that has a happy ending like them dying in extreme pain and suffering?

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Someone is watching their back. | /r/Greentext

>school is in low-income, high- crime neighborhood >one of my kids often gets picked up by his grandpa >grandpa is an OG who used to be a gangbanger in the 80s, spent some time in prison, and got his s--- together >he's big and scary-looking, but super f------ nice >leave the school after working late one day, some dudes walk up to me and ask what time it is >look down at my watch and one of them sucker punches me >try to fight back but it's 3-on-1 >get my watch, phone, and wallet taken >next day during dismissal >students grandpa notices bruises, asks what the hell happened >oh I got jumped by some guys on my way home >he asks what they looked like >don't know but I remember they drove away in a white Camaro 1.19 MB JPG >he nods and says okay >about a week later, student comes back and hands me a plastic bag from his backpack >inside is my phone, wallet, and watch >see a news report a few months later about a white Camaro found at the bottom of a nearby lake

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Anon's childhood trauma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.15 MB JPG : Anonymous → 07/31/23(Mon)22:32:45 No.185434035 Tell me your childhood trauma 07/31/23(Mon)22:39:33 No.185434371 >>185434035 (OP) # i never had a actual best friend, always been the second choice. God i remember how 374 KB JPG traumatizing break between class were since i had no one to hang out with. Funny how things still the same now, i have a few friends but i still the second choice, they will only come to me if they have nobody else 249 KB PNG >>185434659 # >>185443318 # >>185460430 # >>185468154 # : Anonymous 08/01/23(Tue)08:26:14 No. 185454589 >Mom got the normal Weet-Bix and not Weet-Bix crunch

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Anon is still in pain of his bad days with his mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/21/23(Fri)22:29:45 No.773601407 >Mom comes home from work stressed out as usual, dad home drunk >Sees me depressed and unmotivated to do anything > takes me and my sister out to eat >let me order anything from the menu, as the good boy I am I order tendies with hunny mussy >we leave and go visit my uncle and my newborn cousin 46 KB PNG >on our ride back home we listen to Southern Nights, a song I love >mfw I realized she did this all for me to cheer up >came home and didn't want to cry and say "i love you" cause I'm a wuss > grow a pair of balls and go say "I love you and thanks for taking me out " sobbing all over her shoulder >still crying while writing this > although you'll never see this > Thank you mom, I love you with all my heart

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Anons becomes a potato farmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: jBZ6tCqq Redpill me on potato farming 10/03/22(Mon)10:37:44 No.398112469 Potato-Field..jpg 234 KB JPG I read 100m2 of land can produce 1 ton of potatos or €1,000 at retail. Can you get rich if you own a shitton of land? Anonymous (ID: CUPMNEZC 10/03/22 (Mon)10:42:10 No.398112991 >>398112469 (OP) # >Anon discovers agriculture

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Anon Has The 'Tism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)05:23:47 No.74245692 >be me >somebody tries to convince me I'm autistic at uni >about to awsner that mf >suddenly notices the holes 39 KB JPG in the back of the chairs of the uni aren't multiple of 3 (actually prime number of holes. that pisses me off more) >almost get in panic due the chair design Ok, maybe they aren't wrong at all

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Anon does a flippin good thing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG No.777598427 ITT: Good deeds you've done in your life. >Be me. >Go for a walk because I'm not a shut in virgin. >Walk by trailer park for some human entertainment. >Girl comes running up to me. >Tells me her dog is dying and she needs help. >F----- jumped in the pool and didn't know how to swim. >Luckily I'm an EMT in training. >Grab big ass golden retriever out of pool. >Pretty sure its dead. >Give the dog CPR. >He's not responding but I keep at it. >Girl calls 911. >Turns out they don't send ambulances for dogs. >Just before I'm about to carry it to her car he starts coughing. >Throws up all over me. >Girl comes running over and hugs dog. >His tail starts wagging. >Girl thanks me. >Gives me a hug. >Tells me she'd kiss me if she didn't have a boyfriend. >Respect her relationship and leave with my head held high. I like helping people. It makes me feel good!

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Anon has observation skills | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous THEY' >draws >doesn't complain >is entertaining >writes for all demographies >nice shonens >always smile >medals from ministry of culture 23 KB JPG Female mangaka >writes 08/02/23 (Wed)14:00:22 No.255630041 Male mangaka >oh my back hurts oooh >bicycle p--- or 100 dvd p--- >dies from exhaustion (miura) >can't see his son (oda) >never smiles >always miserable despite having 100 assistants working for him >boring shonens >limited demographic

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Anon is dissapointed with his life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)18:03:40 No.74247764 Why do normies act like missing developmental milestones isn't a big deal > OH you didn't experience teenage love, no big deal you weren't missing much anyways > Oh you didn't lose your virginity when you're 17, it would've just been awkward if you did > Oh you didn't have a large freind group to hang out and f--- around with, don't worry those friend groups usually have beef and drama > You didn't have the high school/college experience that everyone else so fondly remembers, well who cares I don't remember mine because I was drunk so much My hands look like this So hers can look like this 234 KB JPG > None of the milestones you missed are a big deal because everyone develops at their own rate and everyone's story is different But of course none of its true your weird if you don't have any of above or a myriad of other developmental milestones by the time your in your early 20s

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Catfished by weeb 47 KB JPG 08/02/23 (Wed)06:51:00 No.903658687 >Be fembot >Agreed to a date with a Redditor I met online >He sends photos and has dadbod which I like >He sends me his REAL photo only when I arrive at the meeting place >jawdrop.jpeg >Dude is insanely obese like he ate 5 people, lied about his height, face full of craters >He takes off his shoes and socks in the car, revealing brown and untrimmed toenails >He randomly claps every 15 minutes or so for no reason >He's a hardcore weeb and talks in anime lingo >He tries to make me sing Japanese songs even though I can't speak or read Japanese >He suggests I try "kēki" from a specific store >Cant believe somebody talks like this >Had to nudge him in counter because I didn't want to pay for his "kēki" >Leave store and noticed he was huffing and puffing from the heat >Went to cheap restaurant >He offers me soup but I'm grossed out by his dirty toenails so I offer him wet wipes instead >He complains about the food not being "daijoubu" >I'm mortified and regret agreeing to this date

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