Anon meets a cute guy | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 07/24/23 (Mon)15:04:25 No.74143611 >Met cute guy >We chat he seems very into me and I am into him >One night I have a wet dream about him, it's vivid so I tell him about it, thinking it'd be a funfact >Says something along the lines of "ahah funny" >He ghosted me after What happened? I thought men liked this kind of stuff. Am I really that autistic? I want to talk to him again.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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just a little venting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7/25/2023, 2:42:35 PM No.96759563 67 KB JPEG > be me > wagecuck > come home from work > backing my car into garage > parents close garage door remotely on my car > somehow my fault > mfw

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Come on Anon let’s go party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 193 KB JPG 07/24/23(Mon)22:35:45 No.74147939 >I'm a man so I'm not watching Barbie, even though everyone else is. Why are you losers always on the wrong side of things? Do you do it on purpose? : Anonymous >I MUST CONSOOOOOOOM NEW PRODUCT No thanks. I don't fall for cheap marketing tricks. Kill yourself. 07/24/23(Mon)22:37:09 No.74147953 : Anonymous I watched a 480p camrip of Barbie. It was ok. >>74149705 # 07/24/23(Mon)23:45:47 No.74148443 Anonymous >>74147939 (OP) # >You must follow this metrosexual leftist trend by consuming this product Jump off a bridge f----- 07/24/23 (Mon)23:48:57 No.74148466 : Anonymous >>74147939 (OP) # >>I'm a man so I'm not watching Barbie, My brother, are you retarded? Every man is watching barbie for the incel-god Ryan "literally me" Gosling. 07/24/23(Mon)23:50:11 No.74148478 Hes honestly the only reason anyone would watch this feminist propaganda piece.

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Anon is an artist unappreciated in his time. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)23:10:43 No.860871920 6 KB JPG >really f------ love eating my girl out >love hearing the sounds she makes >one time realise she makes a different kind of moan depending on what I'm doing >the sounds she makes vary in pitch, I can make her make specific noises at will >try to play the Darth Vader theme on her >almost got it >she snaps out of euphoria the second she figures out what I'm trying to do >mood killed instantly >she doesn't trust me down there again >tfw I'm not allowed to eat p---- anymore

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can;t think of a title | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)14:31:38 No.94906003 I won. i won.gif 947 KB GIF >CEO of X------ face right now

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Anon tells a white lie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/23 (Mon)19:50:16 No.645111180 best wife.png 448 KB PNG >playing koikatsu >make a character that looks like my little sister >mom walks into the room without knocking >tell her i'm playing the new sims game >she tells me to make a character that looks like her >make one then change the subject >mom died in a fiery car accident shortly after >still have that character card to this day >>645111324 # >>645111397 # >>645127259 # >>645148540 #

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Anon need to go to a pawn shop and sell his butterfly knife | /r/Greentext

PAWN Start PawnStarsLogo-1.jpg 151 KB JPG >Hi there. I've got something you might be interested in. This is a $20 dollar bill. My asking price for it is $50 >Let me call my buddy, he's an expert on $20 dollar bills >It's a genuine $20 dollar bill printed in 2017. Market value is $20 >If I buy this I'm taking on a lot of risk. Best I could do is $4

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Anon is confident | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 166 KB JPG 07/24/23(Mon)21:28:23 No.71714030 >Literal twink f----- at the gym keeps staring and smiling at me >Tries to flirt with me when I ask him if he's using a machine >I give him a death stare and blatantly ignore him from there on everytime I see him It feels so good to be a normal, straight man, bros, especially in these times. 16 Replies / 6 Images Anonymous >>71714030 (OP) # View Thread 07/24/23(Mon)23:24:20 No.71714911 Yeah I hate f--- too OP. These f------ gays are

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Anon was not enlightened that day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 KB JPG 07/29/21(Thu)23:56:23 >"Hey, uhh, Buddha, what do you want on your pizza?" >"If you have to ask... then you don't know." No.18745934 >Buddha then shot a random guy in the face, just shot him in the f------ face and killed him, he's dead now, h-------- >The student was enlightened instantly Why are all buddhist stories like this? Are you supposed to actually be getting something from this or are they just trying to f--- with white people?

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Anons gf is autistic… | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 11/18/20(Wed)23:20:49 Be prepared guys, this is a true story N6.840387190 >be me >have qt girlfriend (I really have one) >she's a diagnosed autist >she's always amazed by me being able to give her the perfect gift every time she has birthday/it's Christmas... >truth is it's so f------ easy to question her what she wants and she doesn't realize that I'm doing it >she's absolutely not able to read my intentions when questioning, because autism >one or two weeks before birthday I'm literally asking stuff like "are there any new books/games you'd like to have" or "you told me about ... you liked so much, can you show me where you've seen it" >it's so easy to make her happy >I love her Also her mom gives me b------- on a daily basis

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Anon goes to work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE) 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258 >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me > 10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks

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Not so different after all | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 07/24/23(Mon)16:28:11 No.435630464 >At a media conference ahead of Morocco's Women's World Cup opener against Germany, a reporter from the British news organization's World Service asked Ghizlane Chebbak: "In Morocco, it's illegal to have a gay relationship. Do you have any lesbian players in your squad and what's life like for them in Morocco? Do they yearn to love as free women?" 608 KB JPG BBC apologizes for reporter's "inappropriate' question to Morocco women's team captain By M TAR 25.35 KOT, AJUAY 24, 20 WA >The press conference moderator interjected, saying: "Sorry, this is a very political question, so we'll just stick to questions relating to football." >"No, it's not political," the journalist replied. "It's about people, it's got nothing to do with politics. Please let her answer the question." >A BBC spokesperson told CNN: "We recognise that the question was inappropriate. We had no intention to cause any harm or distress." Bongs are literally mentally ill. Anonymous → I hate Britain so much it's unreal 07/24/23(Mon)16:29:29 No.435630465- >>435630485 # >>435630494 # >>435630546 # >>435632758 # >>435633692 # >>435634452 # >>435634660 # >>435636656 # >>435637339 # >>435640506 # >>435642370 # >>435643325 # >>435644848 # Anonymous 07/24/23 (Mon)16:29:50 No.435630466 I hate Britain so much it's unreal >>435630485 # >>435630494 # >>435632534 # >>435632877 # >>435633692 # >>435633893 # >>435634660 # >>435635024 # >>435636656 # >>435639736 # >>435640506 # >>435643325 #

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Anon tries to serve his country | /r/Greentext

File: img.png (113 KB, 430x330) SNUFFY >"ok here" >they ask for me to get another physical >"uhhh ok than" USMIL s--- be like Anonymous (ID: K1QqujQC 07/24/23 (Mon)17:43:52 No.435650530 >>435650918 >>435651018 >>435651366 >>435651492 >>435651562 >>435651724 >>435651919 >>435651961 >>435652033 >>435652128 >>435652428 >>435652441 >>435652623 >>435652957 >>435653025 >>435653034 >>435653254 >>435653310 >>435653945 >>435654276 >be me 20 something white guy >attempts to join US army for benefits and dream since highschool >gets to MEPS >gets denied for meds I had when I was 12 years old for a month >they ask for medical history >they make me wait for 3 months straight for a response >"f--- me" >finally gets back up to meps for medical examination to finish >literally pass flawlessly due to lifting since 9th grade >has a 81 in ASVABS >gets told I need to see a psychologist because of medication I didn't use for more than 4 months more than half a decade ago >"oh come on" >gets demanded that I need 3 letters of recommendation Meanwhile: >t----- cousin graduates highschool >gets a 44 on ASVABS >has a history of psychological issues and suicidal idealization >has already passed bootcamp since it skipped MEPs and all medical inquiries for free w-- happened to the military bros

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