> Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little s---- in supermarkets. > Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. > But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little c---- that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. > Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the f------ skin, too. > This was when the gears started turning. > The moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little s---'s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little c--- he is. > I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "S---! S---!!" > Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. > He started shouting "F---! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! F---!." > By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying. > Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy.. at us for yelling at her kid. > Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say > "Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm... I'm F------ HIV POSITIVE." > And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. > The brat knows he just f----- up big time because his mom isn't defending his ass. > She just stares at me wide eyed. > I walk away from them, buy my s--- from the wide eyed cashier > All the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. > And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the c--- she is. > I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that s--.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Imagine having an excuse to wear an eyepatch and not using it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)22:20:24 No.65120222 >be me, one eyed lad >have severe self image issues because of it >parents and extended family constantly tell me how disgusting it looks, and told not to come to multiple family events >decide to make a post on here asking for honest thoughts on how bad the eyesocket actually looks 7 KB JPG >get nothing but kind, supportive, and reassuring posts about making sure to stay confidant in myself no matter what >cant contain how much these comments have helped me crawl out of a deep depressive whole Thank you Anon's, you brought me back from the brink of an abyss

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Most sane 4chan relationship | /r/Greentext

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Anon find his mommy's favourite toy | /r/Greentext

59 KB PNG Autism thread fuckos, I'll start >5 years old >little nigglet boi >single white mother >stereotypes.png >mom would do s--- around house while I'm bored of watching the Wiggles for the 20th time. >go into her room looking for adventure >find a dildo >purple and floppy as f---. Probably like 12 inch. >mfw I would flop it around >it was so much fun. >grab it by its massive purple balls and use it as a hilt like a sword >sneak into my moms room daily to play with my moms awesome purple sword >one day discover that it makes a funny "PTHOO!" Sound when I slap the wall with it >it was the funniest s--- ever >thus because my wall dildo slapping days >one day >eating Cheetos >sudden urge >playtime.jpg >run to her room. Grab dildo >get disgusting cheeto dust all over it >tfw I slap the wall with the cheeto dildo and leave bright orange d--- shaped imprints in the wall >all >f------ >over >eventually get bored and put it away >after that I couldn't find the sword ever again. >mom moved it Mfw I Still haven't found it

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Anon takes the bus | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 KB JPG 07/08/23(Sat)12:22:47 No.73949706 >be me >taking the bus to work, public transit ftw >there's a guy at the bus stop with me >morbidly obese, probably mid 30s >he's sweating and looks uncomfortable >the bus pulls up and we get on >walking behind him, I can hear a weird crinkling sound emanate from his nether regions >the bus is packed >I end up standing a few feet away from the fat guy >he looks severely uncomfortable now, like he's in pain >he looks around quickly and screws up his face like he's in concentration >he lets out a noise halfway between a sigh of relief and a groan of pleasure >it takes a few seconds for the smell to hit me >rancid, eye watering, public restroom s--- smell >everybody can smell it >this guy just s--- his f------ pants >everybody tries as hard as they can to get away from the guy >the bus is too crowded there's nowhere to go >the guy lets out a f------ giggle like he just got away with something >I realize that crinkling sound was a diaper >he shat into a diaper on a crowded bus >this was premeditated >everybody floods out of the bus at the next stop, including me >it wasn't even my stop I know this was some fetish thing but if I ever see that guy again I'm going to kill him slowly.

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Anon needs a financial advice | /r/Greentext

Elon Musk says Mark Zuckerberg has a LITTLE PENIS! Elon Musk says Mark Zuckerberg(...) 07/10/23(Mon)11:22:28 No.55511421 Elon Musk Zuck is a cuck 15.5K Elon Musk @elonmusk @elonmusk. 11h 49.4K I propose a literal d--- measuring contest 10:01 PM - Jul 9, 2023 1.2M Views 345.5K >>55511482 # 2,049 Retweets 2,123 Quotes 17.1K Likes 506 Bookmarks 1688965032794130.png 19 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: ¡Ec4Efp8 ₁20.5M Which stock am I supposed to buy after this tweet? Tesla or Meta? 07/10/23(Mon)11:27:45 No.55511459 >k--- alien demon vs. bastard globalist child of pol pot Oh boy who should I pick?

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Anon lives far away from society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Reasons to live 37 KB JPG 07/10/23 (Mon) 22:17:27 No.902388652 >car dies >immediately out of work because no car >live innawoods >no work in walking distance >no money because no work >can't fix car because no money for parts >gf makes no effort to see me anymore >talks of moving in have been forgotten and ignored >no frens irl >hobbies no longer excite or interest me >about to go into debt because of bills >family growing more distant by the day because too autistic to know how to interact >even if i fix the car now it's too late to avoid debt do I just an hero at this point?

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Anon plays Pokémon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/09/16(Sat)16:21:35 No.344446559 File: maxresdefault.jpg (124 KB, 1920x1080) >allah akbar >>344446282 >isis hacks go servers >puts a mew in times square >millions gather

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anon tries to lose weight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 07/10/23(Mon)21:18:43 No.73972113 >be me fatso >start to eat less and do some exercises >by eat less I mean nothing special just one plate from everything >lose 10 kg in 2 months >still feeling so hungry that I can't think about anything just putting glorious food in my mouth Have you felt like this? Its like being a junkie

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guys i think there might be a 4channer running this twitter acc | /r/Greentext

Libertarian Party NH @LPNH The Uyghur genocide is fake, and Ukraine is gay. #FakeAndGay 2:42 09 Jul 23 104K Views Follow ●

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School memories | /r/Greentext

>be me, middle school >have to use toilet really bad >feels like I have a piston with a force of 4000 Newtons deep in my ass, which is also being assisted by gravity that's far beyond the one of Earth's >ofc, every stall's occupied (and we had only 2) >no biggie, I had always had bright ideas >I spread my ass cheeks, making them face a sink, and let out one single oval-shaped rock solid turd >I look at it, and burst out laughing as I see it standing vertically in a drain, like a small smelly palm tree >run off >the bell rings, everybody comes out of their classes >in a minute everyone's already gathered near my p------------, laughing their asses of >I pretend like I am in confussion, too

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Anon talks to a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/10/23 (Mon)19:34:08 No.73972941 [Reply]► >>73973417 >be pretty average looking ethnicel >install some s----- app where you talk to strangers because bored >start a conversation with a random anon person >have a pretty funny and entertaining conversation >i find out the person that I've been talking to is actually a girl >things get interesting >she asks me if I want to exchange face pics >hesitantly say yes >send her a pic of myself >receive a pic of a 9/10 white girl, a couple of levels above my league (pic related) >tell her she's really pretty, she says you too >jokingly say that I don't believe it's really her >immediately receive notification, "incoming request for video call" >oh s---, start to panic, my hair is completely unkempt >run to the bathroom to fix my hair quickly >run back to my room and accept video call >it's literally her lying in bed (it was late) >we giggle and it was a bit awkward but we quickly got comfortable >she reaffirms that she thinks i'm cute, once again tell her that she's really pretty >knew that I have to go in hard now and take charge because pretty girls like that don't stick around too long >ask if she ever wants to do something like go see a movie or something >she says sure and gives me her phone number >she says it's getting late and she has to go to school tomorrow >tell her me as well and say good night >be in a maximum state of euphoria >confidence boosted beyond anything i have ever experienced >wake up next morning >receive message from her "good morning" >talk to her all day during lectures >conversation was heading towards things like fashion and general appearance >says she likes my style and vibe >she suddenly asks how tall I am >ask her "why?" >she says she's 5'11/180cm and she wants a guy who is taller than her >she wants a guy who is around 6'1/185cm or preferably even taller My heart stopped for a moment there. I am only 5'9/176 cm. I had no idea she was that tall. I have never been that conscious or worried about my height ever really in my life until now.

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Anon still has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 173 KB PNG 07/25/22(Mon)05:38:27 No.69547525 >be me >khhv >can hold conversations with women but can never be the first to initiate >girl I loosely know talks to me >ohshit.png >talk every day for months and become good friends >teaches me how to talk to women even flirt a little >gain more confidence now that I got some practice in >first encounter arc >decide to text the girl I like >"sup, how are you?" >seen online just now >no response But it's not over yet bros! A little hurdle will not stop me and shouldn't stop you. Let it strengthen your resolve. pic -mostly- unrelated

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets bit....... | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

> Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little s---- in supermarkets. > Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. > But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little c---- that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. > Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the f------ skin, too. > This was when the gears started turning. > The moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little s---'s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little c--- he is. > I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "S---! S---!!" > Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. > He started shouting "F---! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! F---!." > By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying. > Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy.. at us for yelling at her kid. > Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say > "Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm... I'm F------ HIV POSITIVE." > And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. > The brat knows he just f----- up big time because his mom isn't defending his ass. > She just stares at me wide eyed. > I walk away from them, buy my s--- from the wide eyed cashier > All the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. > And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the c--- she is. > I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that s--.

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