pic goes so hard | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous alien harems 06/29/23(Thu)12:50:49 No.35162077 reversealien.png 1.57 MB PNG >Be alien inspecting earth >Crash land and encounter humans on the earth's surface >8 young women ask to have a reverse gangbang What do you do?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon watches too much succubus hentai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/22(Sun)21:42:24 No.883915196 >be me >have female friend >is a solid 8/10 >has a "male orgasm fetish" as she puts it >sends me food if i give her videos of 149 KB JPG me jerking off >be naturally submissive male so im moaning >she likes it >one day comes over to my place and just sucks my d--- and tittyfucks me many times >"thanks anon Ive been craving to try your sperm, youre a really good boy" >just gives me a f------ hug then leaves is this how you get a girlfriend

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Anon's mom is cleaning | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)15:50:48 No.73844746 1687876743067836.jpg 39 KB JPG >mum starts cleaning the whole house, filling the air with sounds of vaccuum cleaning and smells of solvents stop cleaning you bitch im trying to Idar neet rot just die already so i can live under a bridge : Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)15:53:10 No.73844765 you can go live under a bridge now dumb f-----, see how respectful people are of your peace there

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Anon's Dad Is Concerned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 108 KB JPG 06/15/23(Thu)20:37:41 No.73689251 >2012 >be 12 year old with no friends >tf2 is my favorite game, playing it almost everyday >A few days after sandy hook happened, my dad is walking down the hallway and stops at the doorway of my room with a weird look on his face >"Hey, how about easing up on those games every now and then, alright?" >Never thought anything of it then What do you think he meant by that?

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Germanon is being paranoid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: QqomDtTV) = 04/01/23(Sat)22:34:09 No.421939042 >>421936768 (OP) # It seems that they are marrying their daughters with German boys to convert them to Islam and create a Neo Jaissary army. 3.32 MB WEBM The Turks are masters of warfare and won't stop until they reached the goal of their ancestors. Total besiege and control of Europe. Total destruction of Christians and converting the survivors to Islam. >Janissaries were used as military troops to defeat and enslave other Christian nations and cultures. Maintaining the influence of the Muslim Turkish empire. >During Turkish raids, small boys were especially coveted plunder. Turkish warriors kidnapped young Christian boys and gave them as a gift to the sultan. Sultan brainwashed them and converted them into Islam. These boys became Janissaries. >>421939825 # >>421939863 # >>421952401 # >>421952712 # >>421955148 # >>421960464 # >>421965711 #

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Anon's got some predictions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 305 KB JPG BAD 06/21/23(Wed)12:16:49 No.186598830 >>186596513 (OP) # >we gotta build a bomb >oh my god einstein we're about to build a nuclear bomb >NOOOO DON'T TELL ME IT'S LE >oppenwife: i love you opie build le bomb >we built the bomb >w-- you detonated it in japan? what about the evil racist nazi chuds??? uhhh I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD EXPLODE W-- >I AM BECOME DEATH AAAAAA >TRUMAN I HAVE BLOOD ON MY HANDS IM GOING TO CHAINSMOKE MYSELF TO DEATH that's gonna be the movie. screencap this.

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Anon loses their Canadian citizenship | /r/Greentext

File: 3FCyXvT7Kw.png (92 KB, 1854x451) 3.3k r/legaladvicecanada u/Slight-Cricket-3892 . 16h ago My degree got revoked for cheating, now my Canadian citizenship might be revoked and I'm facing statelessness. Canada I am a naturalized Canadian citizen. There was a particularly tricky unit in my university course and I'm ashamed to say that I paid a programmer to code a major project. I graduated and eventually got Canadian citizenship, through the university degree and relevant work experience. Last year, the programmer contacted me and started blackmailing me for $100 monthly or else he would report me to the uni. The programmer had extensive email evidence. I obliged at first but his demands got higher. Since I already have work experience, I figured out loosing my degree wouldn't be a big deal. Long story short, he reported me and my university revoked my degree, I thought that would be the end of it. But I recently got a written notice from the Citizenship and Passport Cases Division that they are investigating my citizenship for fraud, and instructed me to write an information letter to them pleading my case. I love Canada and my entire life is here. I already lost my home countries citizenship since they do not allow dual citizenship. I will end up stateless if they decide to revoke my citizenship. Does anyone here have any advice or case law which I can write in my information letter? Edit: Upon closer inspection to the letter, it seems like they are just investigating my circumstances in general since I now have a history of fraud. I think I'll be fine since I was honest otherwise. Bottom line, don't buy assignments, and if you have bought assignments, don't stress too much. Anyhow, If I do end up losing my citizenship, you will see it on national news soon. permalink reddit do you guys also cheat when doing your programming homework /g/? Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)01:56:59 No.94349328 >>94353504 >>94353524 >>94353700 >>94353785 >>94353806 >>94353840 >>94353976 >>94354039 >>94354052 >>94354153 Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)10:03:17 No.94354274 ► >>94351557 >enroll in college >that will be 50 grand, +tip, +taxes, +barracks, +gruel >black history semester is a slog >barely scraping by spanish class >decide to google the answer to my gender studies assignment >canadian citizenship revoked 85% Upvoted >>94351541 >>94351612 >>94351619 >>94351980 >>94352069 >>94352110 >>94352129 >>94353090 >>94353133 >>94353378 >>94353500

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Anon's mom is radicalized by Supreme Court Affirmative Action ruling | /r/Greentext

>be me, asian California anon entering senior year HS >3.9 GPA (4.4 weighted), 34 ACT >always figured it wasn't gonna be enough to get me to a real college >my mom wakes me up early this morning, she is smiling, cooks me a huge f------ breakfast, starting to freak me out >she tells me Supreme Court just ruled against affirmative action 1.51 MB PNG >I AM GONNA F------ MAKE IT BROS LET'S F------ GOOOOOOOO >my mom shows me the list of schools where my GPA and ACT are the average >PRINCETON, STANFORD, PENN, BROWN, CORNELL >MOM IS SCREAMING, I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER THIS HAPPY >turn on MSNBC (mom is a resistance lib) and there is a panel talking about how the Supreme Court is white supremacist, and anyone who benefits from this ruling is a white supremacist >mom is crying, she loves MSNBC but she also loves me, knows she has to choose >she turns off the TV and hugs me over and over >1 hour later, I walk into the living room and see mom buying a white hood and robe and a John Roberts mug on the internet what is happening to my mom bros?

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Serbanon misses an opportunity | /r/Greentext

File: Flag_of_Serbia.svg.png (77 KB, 800x533) Babetes Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)03:52:30 No.73839674 ► >>73840302 >>73840655 >>73840679 >in very large university groupchat >albanian girl asks "are you bosnian?, i have a bosnian friend with the same name" >im serbian and i know shes albanian. >profuselysweat.jpg >pretend like i didnt see that >realize there was also a turkish girl >realize that if i didnt ghost her we could have unleashed insurmountable shithousery onto unsuspecting liberal americnas ☐ Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)04:06:05 No.73839752 ► >>73841180 srbe na vrbe desu :) >> Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)04:37:56 No.73839963 ► File: 4265a8a.jpg (51 KB, 1080x389) That would've been based anon. I love scaring the american hoes with my uninhibited ultranationalism. Anonymous 06/29/23(The 4:40:47 No.73839984 ► >tfw no retarded nationalist serb bf who I can tell kosovo is serbia to and then kiss its over >> ☐ Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)05:38:09 No.73840302 >>73840328 >>73839674 (OP) Zasto se trebamo pretvarati da se mrzimo kad vise nikog nije briga??? Sta se dogodilo s bratsvom i jedinstvom?

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Too bothersome to sue, too annoying to just let it go. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >girl >at work >old man I help at the register sees me on lunch break >he immediately comes up to me >small talk ensues >before he leaves, he hugs me from the side and gives me a forehead kiss >tells me to not eat too much on New Years or else I wont be as cute anymore How does one react to this please help E 12/30/22(Fri)20:38:30 No.71625248 2.04 MB PNG

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anon sticks to the bro code | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)09:32:42 No.73839528 [Reply] >friend has a crush on the girl i'm talking to >she is very obviously flirty with me and not him >realize this >try to f--- up my game as much as possible by acting retarded and disinterested >she still flirts with me >tell her flat out i masturbate to hentai >she still flirts with me Is there something else I can do, short of saying "I don't want to f--- you because my best friend does?"

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Anon is an average redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous rjunpopularopinion Raidsdayz 4d 2 I hate the sun I really do not understand why people enjoy when it's sunny out. It's too bright, too hot, you get burned, and it's harder to drive. And personally 1 get headaches. I've also noticed that people tend to act really stupid when the weather is like that (it reminds me of when insects become activated/ crazy when the sun is out). Why do people enjoy it so much? Join Edit: did not expect this to blow up lol. Thank you for all the upvotes and nice comments. 2427 Share G 290 KB JPG sunburned >ughmetoo 06/29/23(Thu)08:32:00 No.901734778 >be me this morning >21m >scrolling past John Oliver posts on le Reddit >come across a post on r/unpopularopinion "I hate the sun" >remember of that time I got >start scrolling through r/unpopularopinon >shove a curling iron into my ass >agree with more posts >curling iron feels so good and warm and right like the exclusive validation from the select few with whom I share the same onion >people with regular, not unpopular, opionjons begin to seem like delusional normies unaware of their own mediocrity >think about how special and unique I am >anus clenches around the curling iron >start typing "unpopular opinion" in front of all my posts >keep scrolling through r/unpopolaropinon >pop a viagra >start upvoting all the unpopular opionons I agree with >finger hovers over the upvote button >wow I share this unpopular opinion with 12.1k other kind strangers we're all so special and different >inhale the rancid smell of burning flesh and s--- >tingly sensation throughout my body >feel the 21st chromosome in each cell of my body begin to prophase and metaphase >incompletemitosis.gif >try to process w-- happened but literally can't bc I'm a f------ retard >screech as the curling iron sears and chars my a------

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CEO of csgo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>959398 # >>959700 # Anonymous 35 KB JPG 06/18/23(Sun)06:30:20 No.959391 4 168630063787116778.png 269 KB PNG 06/18/23(Sun)06:45:14 No.959398 >>959391 # >bocchi the reddit

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