Anon learns importance of hearing protection | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 628 KB PNG 03/21/23(Tue)05:05:24 No.57565071 >Be me years ago >Shooting new Mosin >Rifle range has an overhead shelter that dramatically amplifies blast concussion >Guy comes over to my bench >Clearly >Thinks my Mosin is the coolest gun ever because "it was actually in the war" >"I bet that thing's loud!" noguns/newguns >Tell him yes, it is loud >"Go ahead and shoot, I've gotta hear how loud it is!" >Has no earpro >Tell him that's a really bad idea >"No no, it's ok" >Realize I'm not going to talk him out of it >Shoot at my target >Overhead shelter applies 3x multiplier to the blast >Guy half-heartedly laughs, is visibly dazed

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon dreams of Chad | /r/Greentext

allofthem.png 1.51 MB PNG W-- kind of s--- is this bros? >be me with gf who is way out of my league >she asks to open up our relationship >f---, she probably met some Chad >she goes out last night on a "date" >comes home and asks if I wanna see a photo of who she was with, tells me it was so hot, she wants me to join next time >curiosity gets the best of me, maybe this is a threesome opportunity >pic related... this is so much worse than Chad or even furries. I can't stop thinking about how many giant FUZZY pink PPs were in my gf and the noises they must make like EEEVF EEEVF. and the diseases they must carry. I can't even look at her anymore

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Virgin Seal VS Chad Orca | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/23(Mon) 20:20:18 No.4554775 1678736946137065-1.jpg 26 KB JPG >oh no no w-- seal bros what the f--- is that giant thing it's hunting us jesus christ someone help us What the F--- is wrong with O*ca

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Anon's Intrusive Thoughts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 299 KB PNG 06/15/23(Thu)18:55:25 No.73688384 >be me >playing tf2 >backstab a guy who was about to kill our enemy sniper >teammate thanks me and says "spy you're my hero" >suddenly imagine myself as his femboy wife >force these thoughts out these thoughts will never win. i don't care how lonely i get or how much this degeneracy is supported and accepted, anyone who tries to feminize me will die trying >>73688489 # : Anonymous >>73688384 (OP) # you're a f--. just accept it 06/15/23(Thu)18:59:17 No.73688424 06/15/23(Thu)19:05:40 No.73688489 : Anonymous >>73688424 # >you're a f--. just accept it never. i will gladly live alone and become a 30 year old virgin wizard than crossdress and get topped

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Anon helps develop a core memory | /r/Greentext

16 KB JPG >Be me >At airport >Flying back home from a robotics competition >Get bored so I whip out my laptop to watch hockey >Random group of students comes to the gate >Kid asks me if he can sit next to me >I say sure >He starts watching the game with me and we start talking about hockey for a while >Turns out his dad is the assistant GM of an NHL team >He asks me why I'm traveling and I explain robotics to him >He sees very interested and I'm very happy that he's interested >About to board >He asks me if I want some jellybeans so I gratefully accept >He thanks for me for letting him watch the game with me That encounter made my week after a lot of disappointment. I kinda wonder if that'll be a core memory for him down the line

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Anon visits a fast food restaurant. | /r/Greentext

>be me >goes to fast food restaurant >orders mcdonalds >cashier says "sir this is wendys" >I look up >checks menu >is actually at wendys >mfw >I order wendys anway 62 KB JPG

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Anon discovers perfect balance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 791 KB GIF funny that : Anonymous : Anonymous 06/26/23 (Mon)14:56:54 No.15525405 >universe temperatures range from single digit kelvin up to several million kelvin >water can only stay liquid within a range of 100 kelvin >just so happens for that freak accident to happen on earth >and been in that perfect balance for millions on years 06/26/23 (Mon)15:00:09 No.15525412 06/26/23 (Mon)15:01:21 No.15525414 >human IQ ranges from single digit up to 200 >the maths test can only be passed if you get more than 60% of the answers right >just so happens that the guy who prepared for the exam passes it >and been in that stable state for the rest of his academic career >funny that christcucks confusing cause and effect, always funny >>15526103 # : Anonymous : Anonymous >>15525405 (OP) # >personal wealth ranges from 1 dollar to billions >you can only afford a luxury private jet if you are within a range of top 99.9 to 99.99 percent >just so happens the guys who buy luxury private jets are all billionaires 06/26/23 (Mon)16:04:15 No.15525503 06/26/23 (Mon)16:06:46 No.15525511 >and this has been the case throughout the existence of luxury private jets Hilarious

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Hallow fraulein | /r/Greentext

e: 2023-06-28-08-42-30-381.jpg (42 KB, 46/x425) Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)10:00:35 No.186875 >be a Hollywood movie >Introduce a new character >He has German accent >audience immediately knows he's a villain

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Anon enjoys scaring kids | /r/Greentext

Anonymous My new form of therapy 06/28/23(Wed)23:25:57 No.901692472 >be me >walking home in the dark at night >see mother and daughter walking on the same path about 100 metres in front of me >have an idea >play "drum run" by king gizzard at full volume in my headphones 1.62 MB JPG >start sprinting towards them at breakneck speed >they notice >child starts screaming and crying while mother moves her away >keep running >child still f------ screeching >run right past them and disappear into darkness >get home and revel in the thought that I scared the absolute s--- out of them

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If India is the colony why do the English send a viceroy every year? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Hyung 06/17/23(Sat) 22:16:08 No.31506703 dumb top.jpg 199 KB JPG daily reminder that tops are the real subs and bottoms are the real doms. >when i want to be f----- he f---- me. >when i want to suck his d---, he presents it. >when i want to be held he holds me. >when i want to be dommed he does it the way i like it. >when i want it rougher and harder, he goes rougher and harder. >when i want it softer and gentler, he slows down and kisses me. >when i want to ride his d--- he lays back and lets me. he's such a good boy, sometimes i even let him pretend he's the one in charge :3

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Anon gets some relief | /r/Greentext

e: images.jpg (12 KB, 241x209) Anonymous 06/27/23(Tue)21:38:13 No.73826218 >>73826244 >>738. >constipated >no poop for 2 days >feel full, stuffed,gas pains >finally have urge to s--- >literal pile of s--- protruding out of the water when done >feel drained and like I lost weight Nothing like a good s---. Anonymous 06/27/23(Tue)21:41:34 No.73826244

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Anon finds peace | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Mint Jams Casiopea 130 KB JPG 08/04/19(Sun)00:54:50 No.806265574 >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan >it arrives in immaculate condition along with two little origami cranes and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.

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Anon tries degrading | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Called a girl a slut on the fi(...) 44 KB JPG 06/27/23(Tue)17:53:35 No.29233093 >Date going well >Bars are starting to close >She says she wants the night to continue >I suggest heading back to hers >She says she doesn't want it to go like that >I say then let's look for somewhere open >At this point we end up making out a lot at the last open place >Have to leave >She says f--- it and invites me back to hers >At some point she told me she liked being degraded >Fast forward and she has literally placed me inside of her(that is to say I didn't move to penetrate her at all, I just had a hard on) >Test the waters with what I can say, pretty much everything gets loud groans, especially "good girl," and other s--- along those lines >Tried slut, and it got a similar response, but I don't remember exactly I feel like that's where it went down hill as after that she went into overdrive trying to make me finish and then implied I shouldn't stay the night(I didn't) She was pretty different texting afterwards and eventually left me on read so I naturally haven't sent anything since. Is there any salvaging this? I really wish I hadn't slept with her whilst that drunk. I have nothing to lose by trying.

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