Anon has a cracked d--- | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 02/28/15(Sat)09:00:34 No.601034522 >Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it 74 KB JPG

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon assists his bully. | /r/Greentext

>be me like 9 years ago in school >get bullied daily >one day bully approaches me >tells me to do his homework >says if I don't he will beat me up or some s--- >ffw to being at home >doing bully's homework >get a idea >"What if I c-- on his homework?", I think to myself >start jacking off until I c-- on his homework >let it sit for a bit before wiping it off >now there a c-- stains >ffw to next day >be almost late to math class on purpose so that my bully can't look at it enough to see the c-- stains >he(my bully) takes it fast so he can give it to the teacher >class starts and we're doing some retarded f-- math while our teacher is looking at the homework >teacher notices the c-- stain >yells at my bully that he disgusting >bully starts to get nervous and says "ANON DID IT, HE DID MY HOMEWORK!" >teacher asks me >say no >teacher leaves with him to the principles office >ffw a month >haven't see bully since the incident >rumors that he moved >ffw two months >find out that he killed himself lol don't f--- with me c---

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Karma Police | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG 06/12/23(Mon)09:14:44 No.73649581 >can't post on Reddit because of some gay protest I guess I'm stuck here for a couple of days : Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon) 09:16:19 No.73649600 >>73649581 (OP) # >reddit When the website starts working again, please go back and stay there forever.

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Anon relates to television | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 4 KB JPG 06/19/23(Mon)00:15:36 No.73724001 Do any anons watch tv shows I was watching late night crime series and this is how it goes >girl falsely accuses a guy of r--- >guys life is destroyed and is expelled from college >meets up with the girl and rapes her >she takes him to court >lawyer riles up the guy by bringing up how the girl destroyed his life 8 Replies / 1 Image >gets him to confess on Stage >everyone claps at how ingenious he is >guy is locked up for 7 yrs >girl goes off free and enjoys her life What is this s--- View Thread

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Anon dislikes cars | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: s1GYVASp) 855 KB GIF 06/19/23(Mon)02:15:45 No.431184706 >>431179880 # >In a functional country people wouldn't need to get behind a personalized 2000lbs motorized hunk of metal or pay some freelance anarchocapitalist delivery driver app to get a single f------ meal >The entire reason for all of this is because it's all an attempt by Americans to avoid n------. That's why we cant just walk or bike to a resturaunt down a street, that's why malls are dead, that's why there's no sense of public space to hang out with and literally no ability to get to your f------ job or do anything in america without driving a f------ car. We fled the cities because they were ruined by n------ with the libshit policy cheap housing and now we're all stuck spread out and isolated in suburbs, and the most we come in contact with one another is driving huge hunks of metal like psychos because everyone else we see is literally just an object blocking our path >ALL BECAUSE OF N----- >and jews Perfectly said.

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Anons grandpa is a criminal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 48 KB JPG 06/19/23(Mon)08:02:01 My grandpa is literally Jorji from Papers please No.641225692 >Be me, Macedonian >study in Britain, go back to Macedonia every summer to visit my family >My family was planning to go to Rome for a couple weeks >Everything bought, everything packed and sorted out >Go to airport >Grandpa cannot go through >They say he has a lifetime ban to use this airport >ask why? >They give a file on him >15 SECURITY AND CONTRABAND OFFENCES SINCE 2009 >He once tried to sneak tobacco >alcohol >beetroots >4 full heads of cabbage >One time he wanted to go somewhere and he wanted to take some yugoslavian memrobelia, no idea why he has them he isnt a war veteran we didnt participate in the Yugoslav wars >Look what he tried to sneak through >2 Yugoslav army knives

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Even on the coldest nights I eat my own cum | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)10:06:11 No.60926043 ► File: EA90511F-7021-46AD-B37F-A().png (170 KB, 349x300) EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHTS I.EAT MY OWN C-- >>60925869 F--- it might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >I try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >I want to say "even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones will let us see the dawn once more" >"even on the coldest nights, I eat my own c--"

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Anon uses an AI travel guide | /r/Greentext

1.49 MB PNG >US expat living in Greece using Al as a travel guide >Al recommends Kosovo for a quick and cheap trip >Al says it's cheaper in the north, city is Mitrovica. Cool! >Visiting "hidden gem" tourist attraction, New "Austerlitz" Bridge, crossing the Ibar River. There are armed guards everywhere. The Serbs f------ hate the Albanians and live on opposite sides of the bridge? >I walk across the bridge and see signs "welcome to community of Serb municipalities" >Feels like I just walked into Gaza Strip? Al didn't prepare me for this >6'5" muscular shirtless Serbian guy with huge eyebrows, GRENADE TATTOO, and a cross necklace approaches me. Three of his friends pop out of the alleyway behind him. >Serb is waving, yelling something like "DOODIE COOCHIE" >Preparing my anus, start speaking English, one of the Serbs says "come home" in broken English >He takes me to a house, there is an older woman yelling DOODIE COOCHIE >Preparing my anus >They served me Ćevapčići and sent me on my way >Delicious Never judge a book by its cover

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Anon uses all natural cologne | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous more pee boules 06/18/23(Sun)23:08:36 No.901167003 61 KB JPG i fell for the urine as cologne meme >spent 2 days pissing in jars instead of using the toilet >didnt drink water so it would be more powerful >sprayed myself with it and dabbed it on my neck before work yesterday >people avoided me like the plague >wore it again today bc i thought it just needed time to start working >anytime i talked to someone they wrinkled their nose or stepped back >manager held me after my shift and told me i need to shower before i come in again you f------ lied to me.

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Pseudo-intellectualanon mogged by subway wizard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/18 (Wed)19:48:00 No. 10877907 >reading Plato on the subway >Parmenides, struggling to understand >black guy next to me glances over >"Are you an intellectual ?" >"Not really." >"That's why you read Plato" >he smiles and leaves a few stations later >come home and try thinking of comebacks in the shower what the f--- >>10877947 # >>10882371 #

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Anon lacks self-awareness. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous It should be illegal for thera(...) 138 KB PNG 11/09/22(Wed) 21:42:28 No.7092693 >gf goes into therapy for first time in her life >month goes by >texts less and wants to hang out with other people >say whatever idgaf >more months pass >find out shes been spending time with some guy >all her texts are one word responses >break up with her since shes not being honest Guess what I found out 3 years later, from one of her friends? The therapist said she was trapped in something called a narcissistic abuse cycle (???) and she literally followed step-by-step instructions on how to leave a relationship from it. Down to the one-word-replies. What the f--- are these therapists teaching women?

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Anon plays GTA Vice City | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 27 KB PNG 06/18/23(Sun)12:35:52 No.73717246 >be 11, in 6th grade when game releases. >my mom is obsessive over ratings and won't even let me play T games, much less M ones. >friend's mom doesn't care as long as he earns the money himself. >he gets vice city and we play it for weeks straight. If I can possibly be at his house then I am. >one day his grandma comes to visit. Unlike his mom she's a very christian woman. >friend tells me to keep playing because to turn it off would be suspicious and to just drive around. If she asks I was to say it was a driving game. >for some reason I decide to get a w----, then murder her with a bat after banging her. >friends grandmother plainly sees me do this about has a heart attack. >his mom plays dumb and acts like she had no idea the game was that violent, even though his ps2 was in the living room so she saw us playing it tons. >grandma isn't satisfied until the CD is removed from the machine and broken, then she demands prayer and incense burning to remove all the demons the game let into the house. Yeah he wasn't my friend anymore after that, and tried to get me to pay for it but I ducked and dodged him, said I'd pay but never had it on me, you know the b------- until eventually he just tells me forget it. that was my last real close friend. Why am I so autistic? : Anonymous >>73715031 (OP) # This but GTA 2 and using the tank in the first level. Both of them 06/18/23(Sun)12:47:48 No.73717351

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anon gives a smile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 95 KB JPG 02/05/19(Tue)01:12:10 No.49456834 >at grocery store >make eye contest with girl >in a good mood so give her a smile >she gives me a sexy wink >I get scared and leave >>49456901 # >>49456925 # >>49456933 # >>49457015 # >>49457057 #

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