Anon opens up | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous hey mom you were right I'm not based I'm mentally ill 133 KB JPG 06/13/23(Tue)12:41:56 No.73662305 >Be quiet and keep to myself >People want me to speak, they make jokes about me being quiet >Speak, tell jokes, share my opinion >People dislike or straight up start hating me I can't say I'm doing good or that life's fine or that I'm good at something or people get jealous. I can't talk about things I like because no one else likes them. My opinions make people angry, but instead of people confronting or debating me they start talking s--- behind my back. I don't think I wanna be friends with these people anymore.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon, in a bout of unparalleled genius, mocks and belittles the acts of a foolish Minecraft youtuber | /r/Greentext

File: Screen Shot_2022_10_03_at(...).jpg (156 KB, 1400x1400) Le M6910 dream Anonymous (ID: (Sw3zrxS1) 06/13/23(Tue)08:50:38 No.17842853 ► >be an extremely popular minecraft youtube guy >want to do a face reveal to boost views >Your fanbase of 13-year-old girls has drawn a lot of p--- of you looking gay with fluffy hair so you have to go for that >spend over 2 years losing weight and getting lean (props ig) >make face reveal looking like a regular white guy >internet acts exactly as you f------ expected >do a f------ FACE UNREVEAL trying to delete every photo with his face in it cause he got insecure after a while what the f--- did dream expect? absolute dumbass

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Anon goes for a ride | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB PNG 05/16/23(Tue)17:00:56 No.73338848 >having a bad day >go for a ride in the evening >random stranger makes fun of me as I'm passing him >"that's weird, oh well" >happens again with another stranger >and again >don't go outside anymore I'm tired of living. This is not worth it at all, I can't do anything, it's just perpetual misery or disappointment and I know the first response to this will be some kind of mockery or negative in some way. That's if it gets any responses at all. I'm so sick of living. Nothing ever works out or even brings me joy anymore. I'm tired. Just wanted to write it down.

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Anon is completely retarded | /r/Greentext

FISH ELMER'S Whable, No Ran School Glue - Pencils are yummy >be me, kindergarten >playing with little buddy >buddy tells me about his cousin who ate green pencil tips and started pooping green >my tard pre schooler brain thinks thats cool for some reason >ideabulb.jpg >decide to start eating regular pencil tips, to see if my poop becomes grey >unaware that graphite contains traces of lead >poop doesnt become grey >disappointed >be me, 18 now >repeated 3rd grade, horrendous grades, basically no social life, no ideas for my future, khv 7m (6/13 16:29) 73661205 1 Reply And my life's only just started, its only downhill from here. >>73661092 (OP) >pooping green His buddy had parasites Imao. Also shouldn't you see a doctor for lead poisoning?

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Anon likes chess | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Chess 25 KB PNG 06/13/23(Tue)17:19:27 No.900868359 >be me >started to play chess due to boredom and a desire to acquire new habits, plus league of legends and hearthstone made me very angry no matter winning or losing >ff 8 months >started to play more seriously, studying openings and such >enter the biggest losing streak of my life, dumping my elo nearly 200 points >started to get angry and throwing racial slurs to my oponents Why am I like this anons

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Anon finds the flaw in Ted's plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous /bomber/ 06/12/23 (Mon)09:38:08 No.73649297 50 T. Kaczynski Stemple Pass Road Lincoln, Montana 59639 IMG_1004.jpg 121 KB JPG ANYON 28 1979 59633 Jack Epstein c/o And/Or Press P.O. Box 2246 Berkeley, California 94702 >be ted kaczynski >super genius, off the charts IQ >well on his way to revolutionizing mathematics >have legitimate concerns about the effects of industrialization >have entirely valid issues with the state of the western world >have indisputably correct views on the deterioration of society, an intellect you could use to make people understand you, and be well on your way to having a position of power that would make people listen to you >plan amounts to blowing people's fingers off every few months >die alone in prison what a f------ retard

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Anon gets feedback | /r/Greentext

>be me Do I even >been hitting the gym really hard past few weeks and feelin beefy lift? >go to get a physical/flu shot from dr >he tells me to take my shirt off >"guess its pretty clear you aren't afraid of needles huh!" 18 KB JPG >oh haha i get comments like that alot but I'm actually natural and just have a strict lifting regime >blankstare.jpg >"I was talking about your tattoo, it's very obvious you aren't on steroids" So who crushed your self-esteem this week?

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Anon changes his life by being a fool | /r/Greentext

39 KB JPG >be 17 year old me >drug addict, bad area and also poor >didn't have money for drugs anymore >need muh drugs >f--- I need drugs NOW >devise a devious lick >take mask, airsoft gun >walk into small grocery store >"gib cash" >owner looks at me >tells me that he's closing and I should come back tomorrow >I yell at him, point gun at him >he says "come back tomorrow, I'm closing now" again >pic related >I'm extremely irritated, but I have no choice since my gun ain't real and I don't have the balls to use violence >go home >go to sleep >have extremely bad withdrawal symptoms >sweaty all night, throw up, nightmares >next day I wake up >realize I tried to rob a store >acknowledge I have an issue >do rehab >be 21 year old me now >sober for 4 years and no hiccups or relapse >normal job normal life >never saw the grocery dude since then

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This community requires the title to be at least 10 characters long | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I am giving women one last cha(...) 06/13/23(Tue)13:09:19 No.73660213 CALL DUTY BLACK OPSI 1Srv7u3xDx069WG6UyVsePQ.jpg 28 KB JPG If 6 months from today I do not have a gf, I will see that as a declaration of war by the entire female gender. And let's just say, it is not a war I plan on losing.

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Anon has a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 06/13/23(Tue)13:34:14 No.900861211 >match with cute guy on tinder >We go on a really cute date, where we vibe at the beach under some blankets with wine >Brought him back to my place; cleaned my room just in case >We're making out, he's feeling me up, I'm rubbing my p---- against his thigh >"I want to fill you up slut. >Hot. "Yes. Do it fill me up." >He pulls on my tights, kissing my hips bones but before he really starts to take them off he stops and asks, >"You're not one of those girls with a penis are you?" >"No." >He leaves. I watched him get in his car and with out looking at me drive away View Thread

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Anon loves his wife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/23(Tue)04:11:00 No.900857859 >Hey anon! What do you think? Does your wife looks good? Oh... you're so sweet... You were so nice to help me prepare for Chad tonight. You even shaved my p----! What a good hubby you are. Anyway, don't call me, I won't answer, I'm only his tonight. Oh don't be too sad... You're still the only man I love! 134 KB JPG

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Anon is in a coma | /r/Greentext

>be me >riding my motorcycle >get hit by a car >damn it hurts but I walk it off >the girl that hit me is hammered >call 911 because she has a massive gash on her head 60 KB JPG >she's off to the ambulance >after the crash we get to know each other >she's tall, blonde and cute >we begin to date after 6 months of talking >3 years later >got married and my wife just got pregnant. We have a house on the bottom of a beautiful hill >reminds me of Bliss >kek >1 year later >my 3 month old son is growing so fast. >drive him to the doctor's office for a checkup >turn left >a car heading towards me >I swerve out of the way holding my son >I wake up in a hospital >I had gotten into a motorcycle crash 3 weeks ago >but wasn't In a car? >been in a coma the whole time >I ask what happened to the driver >she died I want my family back.

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Anon discusses the alien whistleblower | /r/Greentext

File: 501Q.png (1.18 MB, 1344x896) *oooooooooooyf* Anonymous 06/09/23(Fri)20:08: >be me, alien, year 1992 >visiting earth for tourism, beaches look fun >crash land >taken to a f------ laboratory >the US government probes me >probes me until I c-- buckets >*oyyyyyyffffff oyffffffff oyyyyyyyyyfffffffffffffff oyyyyyyyyyyyyyffffff* >they take the buckets, feeling very used now >they conduct experiments on my sperm >FFWD to 2023, Gen Z researcher is in the lab with me >we start dating, and we get married >he is a man but has a womb >I impregnate him *OYF* >now have 50 IQ half human child, subject of whistleblower's leaks, picrel

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