Anon Likes Femboys | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Nofap does things to you ON ABOVE 63 KB JPG 06/08/23(Thu)18:40:36 No.73606766 >quit p--- >still masturbate without it from time to time >hand feels bad, can't c-- >have some condoms left over from a better time >blow up a condom >looks kinda like a c--- with just enough air inside it >start rubbing it up and down my shaft >feelsgoodman.jpg >imagine I'm frotting with a cute femboy >coom buckets >try again after a few days >fill it with water this time >it's now bigger, firmer, warmer and has balls >coom hard again This is the gayest s--- I've ever done but I liked it I'm homophobic and heterosexual irl btw

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon discovers trap music | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 06/07/16(Tue) 18:16:04 No.688397645 >>688397923 >>688397975 >>688398243 OC incoming >be me >hip hop eurofag >at friends house >friend puts on a track i didnt know >daaaaamn >soundsgoodman.jpg >ask him what style this is >tells me its called "Trap" >shitscashman.wmv >go home >Google "Trap" >land here >mfw >you sick f------

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Anon works in an office | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: qLK6j/uK HR and staff at my job know I'(...) 06/08/23(Thu)22:17:28 No.429910093 >be me >corporate cushy job, woke liberals working there with bluepilled normies >we have a harassment training that's mandatory corporate b------- >jewess in hr there taking notes >jewish lawyers come from a bigger city 2 hours away to give this dumb training >"so employees, lets look an a hypothetical. What do we do if there is an employee that likes talking about WW2 a lot and has swastika pictures in their cubicle?" >everyone looks at me 56 KB PNG

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Genius anon manipulates us all | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 experiments.png 1.39 MB PNG Settings Mobile Home >Be me, self aware greentext writer with masters in neuroscience. >Know r/greentext users are lurking everywhere. >Write the most degenerate things in greentext, and these deranged and schizophrenic people come like lambs to the slaughter. >The mere-exposure effect is a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference farthing's merely because they are familiar with them. >Slowly morphing them into worse people one story at a time, making them more familiar with terrible acts and ideas. >When the participants are repeatedly exposed to my ideas, there is activation in the parts of the brain that correspond with self-identity, and they begin to internalize the lessons from my greentext. >Soon there will be armies of greentext readers with severe psychological problems acting out in their own lives and relationships. I'm the hottest 18 year old on OnlyFans.

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The guardians of democray are alarmed | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_2023-06-08_11-59-13.png (315 KB, 549x692) A * HISTORY * SMH Conspiracy theorists keep getting things right; experts warn that's dangerous Not just online any more: dangerous movements like the "freedom convoy" are fueled by conspiracy theories, and when those theories are correct, it legitimizes them. Conspiracy theorists keep getting things right; experts warn that's dangerous Anonymous (ID: mqfwy0+5) 06/08/23(Thu)13:41:44 No.429887105 ► >>429888559 >>429888959 >>429889701 >>429891356 >>429893311 >>429893382 >>429893621 >>429893677 >>429894019 >>429894141 >>429894451 >>429894623 >>429894880 >>429895157 >>429896355 >>429896412 >>429896689 >>429897126 >>429897683 >>429897769 >>429897968 >>429898620 >More recently, the lab leak theory regarding the origins of the COVID-19 pandemic has yet again sparked totally unnuanced "conspiracy theorists were right" discourse. While initially the lab leak theory was clamped down on for being a dangerous conspiracy theory, the hypothesis has more or less by random chance been the one to recently gain traction in expert opinions. >And while the true origins of the virus remain unclear, the fact that a modern conspiracy theory could potentially hold elements of truth has raised alarm bells among guardians of democracy like journalists and experts. https://afru.com/conspiracy-theory-right-experts-warn-dangerous/ Apologize. Now. >> Anonymous (ID: YCcKyKtd) 06/08/23(Thu)13:55:40 No.429888559 >>429888850 >>429890587 >>429891059 >>429897533 >>429887105 (OP) >YOU WERE ACCIDENTALLY RIGHT Imagine not having access to your ancestral memory and the global consciousness. >> Anonymous (ID: bnuXYaEk) 06/08/23(Thu)13:58:16 No.429888850 ► >>429888559 They never will. They have NO SOULS! ☐ Anonymous (ID: Lj9qLbn2) 06/08/23 (Thu)13:59:17 No.429888959 >>429887105 (OP) >guardians of democracy like journalists lol, what k--- wrote this one?

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Anon is on the fence about hairy girls | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:25:51 No.900615204 >>900615237 >>900615901 >>900616506 >>900616838 >>900617140 >>900617323 >>900618001 >>900618318 >be having sex for the first time >girl pulls her panties down and reveals her butt in my face >tells me to kiss it >look at it closely >hairy anus >feel sick >make up excuses >leave and come home i don't want to body shame girls for being hairy :S.. but what do? Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:27:24 No.900615237 >>900615293 >>900615407 >>900615436 File: Screenshot_20220405-221952-2.png (679 KB, 624x989) >>900615204 Is it normal for the base of the penis to be this hairy? Pic related. People talk about hairy balls but I have got hairs growing up the shaft like a monkey and I'm worried they will get stuck in a girl if we go on a date and she decides to "go down" on me (which means the b-------) and then gets the pubes stuck in her teeth, maybe if their dentist told them to floss they could benefit from the hairs, but otherwise how would the female react? I am scared to find out. Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:32:41 No.900615407 ► >>900615436 >>900615237 why you asking me bro anyway i f**king hate hair so if i was a girl then no way would i be going down on you or up on you unless you get a full body wax and start transitioning because i am also .. NOT GAY .. no off fence :/ Please Do Not Sit On The Fence >>900615407 You're allowed on this fence anon, it will tickle your virgin prostate.

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Anon hates being alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 05/13/23(Sat)12:40:46 No.73299617 >huge house party down the street I just want to be there, but I'm here alone on Friday night. I don't hate normies, really. I'm just mad at myself for not being one.

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Anon has a burning question | /r/Greentext

1.8 MB PNG Am I wrong to be happy about this? >be me, air quality expert living in NYC >my friends and family always made fun of me for choosing this dumb career analyzing air quality and going into tons of debt for school >giant wildfires in Quebec bring tons of smoke to NYC for the first time. >everyone is freaking the f--- out, acting like this is the apocalypse and the end of the world, totally f------ hysterical 24/7. >all of my friends are asking me about how to improve air quality in their little NYC apartments. Hundreds of texts per day from people I haven't heard from in years. >newspapers and TV news contact me to discuss air quality >my company is securing 3 new major multimillion dollar contracts that never would have happened if these fires didn't happen >everyone everywhere I go knows that I'm the air quality guy to talk to because they remember making fun of me >everyone is apologizing for not taking my career seriously >smoking hot girls are talking to me about AIR QUALITY, my favorite topic, all the time How do I keep these good times rolling?

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Anon is banned from watching Cartoon Network | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO jack black.jpg, 13KiB, 563x544 Anonymous Mon 08 May 2023 01:18:30 No.137112947 Report >>137111051 >Be a little s--- before middleschool >Parents would let me watch adult swim as long as I didn't let it influence my actions (basically no delinquent s--- like beating people up or setting things on fire) >Spending the summer at my Grandma's place to see extended family >Still a kid so I don't realize my grandma has never seen an adult cartoon before >Metalocalypse comes on >It's the episode of the pet neutering concert >Scene where the dude falls into a machine and gets his balls ripped off begins to play >Grandma lets out a scream that matches a person's reaction to 2 girls 1 cup >She takes the remote and turns the channel >Banned from watching Cartoon Network at her house the next day because she remembered the channel number >When I ask why I can't watch Cartoon Network she basically says "I don't want to see cartoons of people getting their balls ripped off" My younger self's retardation never fails to make me cringe but sometimes it makes me laugh like a bastard

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Anon meets the Great Philosopher | /r/Greentext

File: confucius.jpg (193 KB, 1920x1080) Anonymous 06/07/23(Wed)12:31:18 No.15164157 >Upon the road, Anon meets the Great Philosopher >"Wise teacher," says Anon >"How can I live a life worth living?" >The Great Philosopher points to the trees by the roads >"Do you see these trees anon?" >"Yes wise teacher" 需 >"Do you see how their leaves grow? Each a unique divine gift yet all contribute to the whole?" >"Yes wise teacher" >"Do you see how their branches extend to heaven?" >"Yes wise teacher" >The Great philosopher smiled at Anon and pushed him aside >"It is time for you to make like a tree and leaf" Anon was Enlightened

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Anon takes an L | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 72 KB JPG 06/07/23 (Wed)20:42:26 No.73597740 >be me >virgin >manage to fumble 6 girls within the span of 1 year >all were interested in me first At this point its set in stone. Its over.

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Anon's mom is super based. | /r/Greentext

n---- it's futa club of course it has scans Anonymous 02/23/14(Sun)20:25 UTC-8 No.102616238 Replies: >>102616348 >>102616438 >>102616444>>102616453 >>102616503 >>102616549 >>102616751 >2 summers ago >be fapping to Uno Makotos Mama Tama >c-- BUCKETS >instantly just pass out on my bed >sleep like a baby >f--- overslept, late for work >leave in a rush >realize at work i left the cover page and folder open on my computer >lived with single mom all my life, pray to god she doesn't walk in and see it >get home >say hi to mom nothing too out of the ordinary >room has obviously been cleaned by mother not sure if she saw it or not >figure if she didn't bring it up or act out of the ordinary she must not have >2 days later >be in room on computer when mother walks in >"Hey Anon hows it going?" >shes standing there staring at me with her hands on her hips. >"Nothing mom what do you need?" >shes just standing there >starting to get confused >then i notice something >VERY obvious bulge in my mothers pants >look at her with dread >"See anything you like son?" >this literally cannot be f------ happening >she suddenly bursts out laughing >puts her hands down her pants and puts out a handful of socks which she throws in my face >shes still laughing >"Mom what the f---?" >"I read that comic on your computer anon, they have some weird stuff on that internet huh?" >"Mom please go away. >"Its ok sweetie i'm just teasing you, what you like is your own business." >"Ok mom....please leave.." >"Sure sure but can you please take out the trash? I'm cooking dinner right now. I'm making your favorite, sausage." >she laughs even harder and shuts the door and leaves my room You have to understand my mom is funny like that we have a good relationship and everything but it was awkward as f---. Anonymous 02/23/14(Sun)20:25 UTC-8 No.102616252 Replies: >>102616293 100001500000 1000 100 ☐

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anon lives in the northeast | /r/Greentext

File: yes.png (127 KB, 844x1058) * 06/08/23(Thu)11:48:34 No.17799583 f--- canadians Anonymous (ID: tPSDgEMg >be canuck government >dont allow natives to properly enact controlled burns on the fragile forest ecosystem >make it illegal cause "smoke is bad for the environment" or some s--- >massive wildfires ruin thousands of acres of land in Canada >Turn the entire northeast united states into a inhospitable wasteland Canadians are too busy jerking themselves off about how "superior" their country is that they let this s--- happen. Should the United States enact a special military operation into Canada?

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