anon gets lucky | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

10m (5/9 17:22) 8989659251 Re. 1 Img PNG 59KB (225 x 224) 38A1439B-9716-4BFC-A436-90680A06DC78.png 1 Reply Today a nurse touched my penis. First woman who's done so in the past 12 years since my last checkup at 17. It was with gloves on, but her boyfriend still has to live with the fact that his asian bitch touched my d---. 5m (5/9 17:27) 898966027 JPG 41KB (798 x 644) 1678986476737033.jpg >>898965925 (OP) >did not put it in her mouth >did not show bobs and vagene : >did not put OP's pp in vagene OP is still a f--, and a virgin f-- at that. :

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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>"she" "her" | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dbSV/J66 trapping a trap 21 KB JPG A 05/09/23(Tue)00:47:46 No.426378429 >be me > 25 years, been hitting the gym consistently for 5 years >good body, social skills, etc >met a 4/10 t----- at a local party >she seems interested in me >ffw to the end of the night >all my friends drunk as hell leaving the party >notice 4/10 t----- still at the party >cook up evil plan.mp4 >say to my friends that i'm going to stay around, tell them to leave without me >talk to the ugly ass t----- >she tries to kiss me >refuse, say it's my first time with a trans girl and i'm a little shy >invite her over to my house >she immediately accepts >ohboythisisgoingtobegood >start drinking, she tries to kiss me again >say i'm still nervous, ask if she wants to drop some pill and see funny s--- on the tv >say pills loosen me up >ugly t----- desperate for c--- accepts >took a pill (mine was literally candy) and gave her an ambien >she is already drunk as f--- >pass out on my couch after 10 minutes >get my hair clipper from the bathroom >make her bald >move all the hair into the bathroom >break some minor, cheap stuff >sunday morning >t----- wakes up >start freaking out >i start to freak out more >say that after the ambien he started shaving his head and breaking thins in a drunken rage >tell him he was screaming I WILL NEVER BE A WOMAN the whole time >tell him my neighbors complained and I was in deep s--- and never wanted to see him again >never touched me h-------- /pol/, i got to see a grown ass man wearing f----- up makeup and crying because now he is bald and must be doubting his own identity been 6 hours since i made him gtfo my house, and I'm still giggling should i do this again?

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Anon discovers And Rotate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/18/22(Thu)18:18:41 No.69860893 >be me >have gf >hear about Andrew Tate, decide to look him up >really like his advice >decide to try it on gf to gain her respect >be with her one day 81 KB JPG >tell her that I cheated on her (i didn't) >she is understandably upset >tell her "Yeah, got drunk. F----- some girl. Don't remember her name. If you want to leave you can leave." >she actually does >heartbroken, text her every day telling her it wasn't real and I was just following advice I got online to be cool >tell her to look up Andrew Tate so she'll see what i mean >pretty sure she blocked me, all our friends hate me now What the f--- do I do? She was my first gf, I literally have nothing without her.

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Anon looks like crap on purpose | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/09/23(Tue)09:01:37 No.898960113 >>898960261 I spend a huge chunk of my time and money in looking like I have no money >daily finasteride/minoxidil to keep from balding, still cut my hair at home with kitchen scissors to keep it messy >twice-a-day skincare routine with moisturizer, sunblock, deep clean and nightcreams, but absolutely nothing scented - hide the face cream smell with an obnoxious-smelling spray deodorant >regular microneedling on face and scalp and infrared treatments on my lower face and neck to keep skin firm, still buy the cheapest trashy clothes! can find and wear them until they're worn to holes >meticulous gym routine that only really aims to keep me on the reasonably fit skinny side, not to bulk up or build muscle or look like I go to a gym >I once got herded out of a mall along with a gang of druggy teens because the security refused to believe I wasn't one of the group and I didn't have ID with me I'm 34 and spend a stupid amount of time and effort to look like a 21-year-old who looks like s---. And considering that I get no bitches I have no f------ idea why I even do this.

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Anon exposes undercover feds | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CzdqsMOZ) 05/09/23(Tue)12:55:12 No.426375284 ► these are the tactics they use to make this site as harmful to you as possible: the fed psyops that are killing /pol/: >1. racemix with latinas, asians or black girls (anyone non-white), be a based BLEACHING colonizer! (spawn more mutts!) >2. hate white women! POST-WALL BEEF-FLAP BBC ROASTIES REEE!!! >3. being a NEET loser is good! stay poor forever, never attract a wife or provide for kids! don't make white babies you chud! >4. BE DEPRESSED! Being a miserable doomer is dark and edgy! smoke cigs! >5. everyone except you is a fed! nobody shares your frustrations or agrees with you, you have no friends, you're completely alone and isolated! please kill yourself! >6. every woman is actually a man! TRANS RIGHTS! Look at this t----- picture! Why are you obsessed with trannies? >7. protestant vs catholic vs pagan religious infighting is good! >8. pick a side in the Ukraine vs Russia brother war and cheer them on! White men slaughtering each other needlessly is BASED!! >9. all rightwingers are jews/jewish aligned! >10. COOOM!! Look at this p--- you didn't ask for! Spend all day COOOMING and don't do anything else! >11. nobody in America is white, they're all 56% mutts! also all Canadians are chinese, all Brits are poos & all Swedes are muslim (white people don't exist so don't try to save them!) >12. Northern vs Southern European infighting is good! >13. Europe vs North America infighting is good! (never unite as white people!) >14. being gay for twinks is manly and spartan pilled, refusing "nordic bussy" means you're gay! >15. fat obese women are sexy and architect-pilled! >16. Q is real! He's a secret insider and he's going to save us, trust the plan! hold the line! 2 more weeks! >17. right wingers aren't allowed to be artists or make culture! Anyone who does this is a GRIFTER FRAUD E-BEGGING SHEKEL-GRABBER! >18. BRAAAP IMAGINE THE SMELL!! smelling farts and assholes is sexy! do your part expose these tactics wherever you see them so new users can learn to ignore them

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Anon is hyped. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous YES SPONGEBOB I'M FEELING IT NOW. 425 KB PNG 05/09/23(Tue)08:30:53 No.898961147 >Average of 5,500 boomers die every day >547 days until Election Day 2024 >3 million dead boomers between now and then Who else is #hype?

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Average 4chan experience | /r/Greentext

: PAanon 77 KB JPG 05/09/23(Tue)00:30:56 No.898961150 >be me >keep having flashbacks to my childhood almost everytime i close my eyes. >not because it was awful or traumatic >but because it was good compared to my life now Why does Nostalgia hurt anons? All i can think about is the kids i played with when i was a kid. And how i lost touch with all of them. And how my life changed. I just want to rewind. I never thought my life would be like this. I feel like there's a huge piece of my puzzle missing. Like there's an empty hole. 1 Reply Anyways, post comfy pics and music. Lets vibe with eachother anons. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. View Thread : Anonymous >>898961150 (OP) # Post t--- 05/09/23(Tue)00:34:39 No.898961297

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Anon is mad at bathroomcels | /r/Greentext

File: C62673BB-E0E8-4229-B503-3(...).png (73 KB, 352x500) Obathroomcels seethe over this Anonymous 05/08/23(Mon)18:58:50 No.73252224 >be bathroomcel >have to take s--- >walk into claustrophobic ass bathroom >air is terribly low quality >heat is unbearable >now constipated >be outdoorchad >toilet carefully placed in beautifully natural backyard >cool breeze calms the bowels >look forward to s------- Stop seething because you wont put a toilet in your backyard and join the master race of s-------

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Anon has yet to do his diversity training | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 89 KB JPG 05/08/23 (Mon)22:34:10 No.898950943 >know America as a white country but where people have created opportunity and equality for everyone >sounds awesome so move to America >minorities are always mocking white people publicly as everyone laughs along, including whites >almost like a running joke to call white people's existence as a clumsy mistake Why is this bigotry allowed and promoted? Are white people into a weird shame kink? I find it retarded that every woman of color who cannot contribute anything to society gets a job to mock white people as the diversity leader. What an idiotic concept. Why not just allow equal opportunity and equal respect for all instead of shaming whites for existing? This has been one of the weirdest cultural aspects I have observed in America. inb4 LARP Ask me anything about Bangladesh if you want me to prove I'm bengali

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: x0M6KIC8 NEWS < Pennsylvania gets its first after-school Satan Club this week. In Hellertown. The club, for kids 5-12, promises science and community service projects, nature activities, and tons of fun. "Educatin' with Satan," as they say. TERSCHOO 05/08/23(Mon)18:03:19 No.426351912 by Rita Giordano Updated on May 8, 2023, 12:30 p.m. ET Educatin With Satan 27 Some members and supporters of the Satanic Temple, the organization that sponsors the 'After School Satan Club, pose Feb. 28 for a picture after the Saucon Valley School District board meeting. Monica Cabrera /The Morning Call degradation-of-society.png 628 KB PNG >create a character that is supposed to be the antithesis to all things good >character is supposed to symbolize the ultimate evil >liberals somehow think its cool and edgy to worship this figure >will also fight you for being a Nazi I don't get you white people at all.

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had me in the first half | /r/Greentext

File: AR-15-5d10291a8dd16f1670b(...).jpg (3.18 MB, 4226x3169) € Anonymous (ID: BCn9R08u 05/09/23(Tue)01:36:35 No.426349410 >be me >responsible for 300,000 deaths in usa per year >be rampant issue in schools for decades and nothing is being done about it >all social media promotes me despite all the clear risks >be obesity >pic unrelated

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Anonymous like music. | /r/Greentext

9 KB JPG >be me >Be audiophile >Spend 5 hours trying to find new song in lossless format >Can't buy since out 100 000 on equipment >finally find song >It is .exe file but whatever >Spend next 5 hours tuning my setup for R&B >Finally listen to song >Hear that the power company turbine is slightly off it's magnetic field >Makes slight hiss in my headphones >Instantly s--- and throw up over myself >Be safe out there fellow audiophiles

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Anon leaks the full plot of Oppenheimer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/23 (Mon )08:26:07 No.184403014>>184403126 >>184403264>>184403927 >>184405464 >>184405567 >>18 >*Opp, you're destined for great things. You've got a brilliant mind... but you must use it for good" > You don't know s--- old man!" >Oppenheimer rides away on a motorcycle wearing a leather jacket as he flips off Einstein >Oppenheimer sitting at the back of the class >Einstein writes ? = MC2 on the board >"Opp, I know you find the messing piece of this equation..." >screen fades to black, tone change, gun shots heads >*No, Professor! I'll call an ambulance." >"It's too late Opp, the Nazis got me. Only you can complete the formula...." > Professsooooooor!!!!!" >As Einstein dies from his wounds Oppenheimer rolls back Einsteins sleeves to reveal an auschwitz tattoo >"I can't let the Nazis get to the bomb first.....!" >Gradual scenes fade into each other if Oppenheimer studying late into the night. Each scene has a different time on the clock but the books are piling up on each other >*I.... I got it!" >A bearded and disheveled Oppenheimer steadily writes on the chalk board with his hand shaking >°E = MC2" >sudden cut to a huge nuclear explosion >burning cities in wreckage >screaming Japanese child holding a teddy bear surrounded by fire >"Nanako!! Nanako!!! Nan da yo!!! Daijobou desu ka??" >woman in kimono grabs the screaming child from the inferno >Opp... you have a brilliant mind. you must use it for good..." >"What have I done???" >Oppenheimer in a drunken stupor chugging whisky and pushing physics books off the desk >Scene in Oval Office, Truman surrounded by men ready to hand out medals > Congrats sonny, you won us the war. You're a real hero." >Oppenheimer opens pocket watch, sees old picture of Einstein smiling > "No. War is. Le bad. >Oppenheimer smiles and turns around walking out of the Oval Office as Truman screams at him > Opp??? Opp!!! Damnit get back here you cretin!!" >Oppenheimer sits at the steps of congress eating a plain sandwich as seagulls flock and credits music plays

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