Oh to be enlightened. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

05/16/20(Sat) 14:33:32 No.115014871 : Anonymous >>115014616 # >Anon approaches the Great Philosopher and asks him "Great Philosopher, are large breasts or small breasts better?" >The Great Philospher sat in silence for a moment, and then commanded Anon to reach for his wallet. >"How much do you have in bills?" The Great Philospher asked. Anon told him he had $30 in bills. >"Suppose you were to have $30 in coins as well, which would have greater mass?" >Anon told the Great Philospher that it would be the coins, by a long way. >"But which," the Great Philsopher said, "would have the greater value?" >Anon was enlightened.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon catches his roommate getting his bussy pounded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB PNG 05/06/23(Sat) 19:48:14 No.73222948 I caught my roommate getting f----- in the ass today >be me >roommate is a short and skinny Mexican guy >walk back to room from library >hear loud music from outside the door >open the door >see my roommate getting pounded from behind by some tall blonde guy >immediately leave >cant stop thinking about being in the blonde guys place and pounding my roommates tight little ass >stressed tf out now because I dont want to be gay What should I do bros?

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I wish I could be like Kaiba | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/14/17(Thu)22:20:25 No.189313681 1474587606591.gif (426 KB, 500x500) google yandex iqdb wait >>189312721 (You) Kaiba goes way beyond DIO Kaiba rebuilt a city in his image, he rewrote its laws and society. Kaiba ruined that city so badly that they had to travel back in time and prevent his autism virus from destroying the world. Kaiba built an entire new sector of education. Then he hid a bunch of ancient nonsense secrets under the school to create his own Hogwarts. Not satisfied with that he sent some kids deviant art cards to space and not only ushered in multiple religions, but at least 3 entire alien species (that we know of). Kaiba infected the cosmos themselves with his autism. He created beings a pure light that only understood dueling. He gave birth to a dark god that genuinely believed his card games were the source of his power. That god then dragged enough human souls to his hell-cluster of a planet that a new species was born. This species was once again entirely based off Kaiba's autism going so far as to have evolved super-duel forms. Wars were waged between the light energy duel ghosts and mutated duel ghost humans. Wars savage enough to literally tear holes in space and nearly destroy not only their planets but Kaiba's as well. Kaiba brainwashed humanity and set them on his course. Long after he died people were still developing HIS technology, HIS legacy. This legacy eventually became so unstable that it literally tore reality apart and created 4 entirely new realities in its place. These realities were, once again, based on his autism. Then he invented the sequel to facebook DIO nearly killed Jotaro's mom

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Anon the chef | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/06/23(Sat)12:39:28 No.73222228 >Be me, lard ass. >Eat too much Goy slop. >Decide to loose weight. >Learn about nutrition and healthy cooking. Grill, saute, coco oil, portions.jpeg >Mom, G-mom and gf all tell me cooking is too time consuming and the clean up is worse. >They try to discourage me and make me think its not worth the chore. 62 KB JPG >Ignore them, continue to practice/experiment. >While food cooks I clean the kitchen and dishes. >Listen to music/podcast while I cook/clean. >Start honing my skills and loose tons of weight. Are women just lazy/incompetent by nature? They make cooking seem like brutal slave labour. In reality its a fulfilling pass time.

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Anon has a cat | /r/Greentext

E pe 956 KB PNG >be me >woke up sick with a fever >got up and made myself a cup of soup >dragged my body to the living room and threw myself on the couch >my cat (as always) noticed that I am not alright so she jumped on me kneading and cuddling >I hugged her and said (thank you, baby) >wild wife voice " if you love her that much, why don't you marry her instead" >I laughed and told her that she should not compare herself to a cat >besides there is a lot of room to cuddle so she can join opening my other arm >she gave me a serios look than said " no thanks, I'll go clean the house while you sit there with true love" >I got annoyed and my cat gave me a concerned look so i kept cuddling with her rethinking my life choices Also, this is not the first time, many times she picked my cat up off my chest telling her "that's my man not yours" and tried convincing me to give my cat away...

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Warboss Prigozhin | /r/Greentext

5h (5/6 12:38) 58095589 26 Re. 16 Img PNG 356KB (934 × 533) needmoredakka.png 15 Replies . OY SHOIGIT! NEED MORE DAKKA! OI WARBOSS, WE AIN'T AD ANY DAKKA OR LOOT IN DAYS WE WOULD AV HAD A FULL MOB OF BOYZ FOR THE SCRAP IF IT WERENT FOR YOU HOGGIN IT ALL ON THE SHIP THE HUMIES ARE SMASHIN OUR BATTLEWAGONS AND DEFF DREEDS WITH THEIR 'UMIE STOMPAS AND THE TINBOYS ARE HOGGING ALL OUR BITZ GET THE ZOG DOWN 'ERE OR IM GONNA TELEPURT UP WITH MA NOBZ AND GIVE YOU RIGHT BEATINGS AND WEAR YOUR SQUIG : 2h (5/6 15:11)-58096610 EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT WITH DA WARBOSS BOYZ. DIS IS JUST 'OW PRIGONOB ASKS FOR MORE TEEF AND DAKKA. WARBOSS IZ GONNA GIVE' IM DA LOT 'ARF A MOON DEN WE IZ GONNA WIN. 2h (5/6 15:27) 58096746 LISTEN UP, YA GROTZ! I'LL TELL YA WHY WAAAGHNER AN' 'IS BOYZ AIN'T GETTIN' NO DAKKA! IT'S 'CAUSE THEY KEEP KRUMPIN' THEMSELVES, YA HEAR? WAAAGHNER'S MOB, DEY AIN'T GOT A CLUE 'BOUT SAFETY! DEY GET ALL EXCITED, FIRIN' DAKKA WILLY-NILLY, AN' END UP SHOOTIN' EACH OTHER INSTEAD O' DA ENEMY! IT'S LOIK A MEGA KRUMP-FEST, RIGHT IN THEIR OWN RANKS!

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Germanon likes it Intact | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Fle: 1683125128336677 09 (102 KB, 874x1024) 05/06/23(Sat)22:19:51 No.426037460 Anonymous (ID: NABivcüz 05/07/20(Thu)16:51:36 No.256576962 file.png 1.6 MB PNG Help how do I stop my jewish room mate from doing this? >>256577124 # >>256577462 # >>256579048 # >>256579608 # >>256579698 # >>256579813 #

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Anon gets revenge on his bully | /r/Greentext

Te: IMG_0776.J KB, 836x842) >be me in 2nd grade >older bully puts dogshit on stick and pokes it in my mouth >get nicknamed "shitstick" >older bully and his friends do it to me for years, get traumatized >grow older, leave inbred dump hometown forever >years later mom gets really sick, return home >take care of mom >reconnect with old friends >found out older bully committed suicide in prison >carltonbanksdance.gif >go out to celebrate >hot girl in bar says "hi anon, remember me?" >is older bullys widow Shitstick for the win. >"it was so mean what they did to you" >puppydogface.gif >hugs me >"heres my number" My bully suicided himself and im juzzing my arctic oil inside his hot widow's tight peach pit.

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Looking for this greentext | /r/Greentext

02/22/23(Wed)17:56:54 No.628656023 : Anonymous >be me >be at work >finishing some paperwork and call it a day € >my pants are down >there's s--- all over the seat >the paperwork is covered in a thick layer of c-- >the police is here

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Anon finds it repulsing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Titten S 08/21/22(Sun)20:13:09 No.609770105 >cute girl >starts to swear 3.15 MB PNG Anonymous Name anything more repulsive 08/21/22(Sun)20:13:49 No.609770148 >Name anything more repulsive OP >>609770227 # >>609770686 # >>609770729 # >>609770873 # >>609771630 # >>609778012 # >>609779128 # >>609779327 # >>609779569 # >>609780149 # >>609780203 # >>609780250 # >>609780335 # >>609780549 # >>609781303 # >>609785293 # >>609793517 # >>609795858 # >>609796435 # >>609796579 #

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Anon is a science enjoyer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: xDwsTDV+ File: 1667750060189188.jpg (20 KB, 640x339) 05/06/23(Sat)22:21:26 No.426037592 I aim for the stars, but i keep hitting London - Wernher von Braun AZ QUOTES

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Anon believes in equality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: File: now find the Jewing (193 KB, 1200x1496) Find the trans person 05/06/23(Sat)10:10:03 No.42588113342505248425842599752242602414135420008171 Can't find them? That's because they live among us, as NORMAL PEOPLE

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What happens when you marry the wrong girl | /r/Greentext

Board /adv/ - Advice 0 O Anonymous 05/05/23(Fri)23:53:07 No.28894191 >Me and wife high school sweethearts married 16 years since 18. >She can't procreate because uncle r---- did damage to her reproductive organs when she was 12. >uncle sentenced to prison for 80 years for the r--- and cp of her. >it took her till age 26 to have penetrative sex with me >she then became really horny >I burned out on my job in IT department and we fought a lot >she wants it multiple times a day I only want it once a day >from age 29-33 she had emotional affair with a mormon couple in Germany >I eventually discovered she was sexting them >I forgave and we went counseling she swore she never cheated just sent m----------- videos >lately she wanted to spice up our love life by trying threesomes Settings Mobile Home >I agreed because I became exhausted from trying to keep up with her sexual demands >she asked my friend I would not have asked him but decided not to object because it was more convenient and safe then looking for some stranger online >we go upstairs he and my wife really into each other, he's fingering and kissing then eating her out >we didn't have time to discuss rules but I would have said no kissing no fingering/eating her out just f--- her because pleasing her is my thing >soon she is having orgasm from him licking her she is putting her hand on back of his head like she does with me and I'm feeling sick, still haven't gotten hard >I walked out hoping they'd stop >then kept going I sat on the coach for 45 minutes >I grab plates from cabinet and shattering them on floor to get attention and they finally come down. >wife nude with c-- on belly he is getting dressed they ask what happen >I just told him to leave >he didn't say anything and walked out >my wife kept asking me what's wrong and I just walked out >I went out to a bar and just drinking beers, what should I say when I go home? [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Anonymous 05/06/23(Sat)00:04:37 No.28894219 People who experienced childhood sexual trauma often become hyper-sexual. I couldn't tell you why or what for, but it is common. Looks like you two are on very different sexual trajectories, much like your OP image. People say "see a counselor" but I don't know about the effectiveness. The general opinion of people who experienced childhood sexual trauma is that they're damaged goods. They act out sexually and have urges and triggers that regular people don't relate to. Anonymous 05/06/23(Sat)00:04:49 No.28894220 divorce [Post a Reply] 2/0/3/

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