Anon got topped and now is sad. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

☐sad exclusive bottom thoughts Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)09:01:33 No.30758047 ► >>30758074 >>30758113 >be f----- >parents are pretty okay with it, they were pretty surprised when i came out but not in a bad way >bring home my first long term bf over spring break >he's really attractive, tall, i met him when a friend took me as a guest to the soccer club >him and my parents get along really well >day 2, after breakfast >i'm washing the dishes, mom's outside mowing the grass >overhear him and my dad talking about sports in the living room >suddenly he makes a joke about how i didn't even know what a soccer ball looked like when i met him >dad's voice gets more serious >"[bf], you will not do anything to hurt anon, you understand me?" >"you will not lay a hand on him or so help me" Shf >bf promises not to >quickly shut the door because i thought they heard me breathing >ffw to dinner >we're drinking wine and sharing stories when i realise my head's been on bf's shoulder this entire time >i'm literally cuddling into him like a needy dumbass in front of my parents why the f--- am i like this... i don't want to be such an obvious bottom i didn't think they knew... Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)09:03:05 No.30758074 >>30758087 >>30758047 (OP) Nice humble brag Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)09:04:08 No.30758087 ► >>30758074 i'm not f------ bragging i'm literally my dad's daughter in his eyes now.. i'm a man not a troon, now he's going to leave me my grandma's pearls instead of the mustang in the garage Imao

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon hits a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous here we go 34 KB JPG >3rd grade >grew up with dad, had an absentee mom >Told me to hit people back if they hit me first, didn't tell me it doesn't apply to girls >in class, a roastie talks s--- to me for no reason >politely told her to stop, kept talking s---. >she eventually shoves me >whothefuckisthisbitch C43 >slam one on her face >flies across the room, knocked unconscious with her skull cracked and starting to bleed >class runs away in fear of me >principal comes down >screams at me and calls the cops >got fired later that day >f---

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Anon discovers pheromone maxing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Pheromone maxing stories, I'II(...) 04/29/23(Sat)21:26:26 No.73145830 >Be me, just a regular autist looking to up my game with the ladies >Hear about pheromones, these chemicals that supposedly make you more attractive to the opposite sex >Get curious and start researching >Realize that humans also produce pheromones, but they're not as strong as in animals >Decide to try rubbing small amounts of horse piss on my armpits to make the pheromones more potent >Order some from local farm and eagerly wait for it to arrive 1.06 MB JPG >Finally get the piss and spray it on before heading out to the club >Start noticing that girls are giving me more attention than usual >One girl even approaches me and strikes up a conversation >Success >Keep using the horse piss and notice a significant improvement in my dating life >Feel like a pheromone-maxing king >Pic related is the jar I ordered from a local farmer

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Some /b/ro he turned out to be. | /r/Greentext

> Drinking with friends in pub > Haven't gotten any in a couple months, very much want to hook up > Friend's autistic band mate comes in with 3/10 gf > Normally I'd avoid her like the plague but as mentioned, deep > My friends leave, they have exams coming up. I decide to stay I'm on a dry streak and a few whiskies/beers > Guy goes to the bathroom, leaving me with his girl > She tells me she thinks I'm hot and wants me to f--- her later > I brush it off and tell her we shouldn't > When her bf comes back, she keeps making comments about how he has work the next day and should get going so he doesn't miss the bus > My hand is on her leg while he's sat directly in front of us, he doesn't suspect a thing > He eventually leaves and tells me to make sure she gets home safe > We leave soon after > She comes back to mine and I tell her that we can't have sex. She starts kissing me and that immediately goes out the window. We f--- a total of 5 times throughout the night, no condom (she was on the pill) > The next morning I get a text from my friend. He says that Chris (the bf) is worried about Chloe (the girl) and wanted to know if I knew where she was > I told him I had no idea where she got to as she's sucking my d---, apparently this is her favourite part of cheating on him - having the guy like about it as she's pleasuring him She ended up giving me gonorrhoea so I guess karma f----- me eventually. Would not repeat, but I do think about it and j------- sometimes

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Anon's teacher makes a movie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)10:11:54 No. 183941990 (27 KB, 439x228) File: 1681928955173655.jpg >be me like 10 years ago >in college >film/video major >have 30 something year old lighting teacher >tells us about this movie he spent 5 years making >paid for it all out of pocket >talks about how much debt he is in >talks about it as if he regrets the entire thing >"yeah but at least you made your own movie that's so cool teach" >haha yeah anon.. >end of semester approaching >see flyers around the school saying the lighting teachers movie is gonna be screened in the auditorium >go to the screening >there are like 15 people in this huge room >teacher walks on stage in front of a big projector >nervously talks about the movie >is being kinda vague and makes some bad self deprecating jokes >watch movie >it's the worst p------------ indie movie I've ever seen >only has 4 actors they're all amateur >ENTIRE 80 minutes is spent inside some house that looked like it was for sale >s----- beige carpet s----- white walls generic furniture >looked like a fake home that nobody lives in >the plot is about these two couples that live together and all their stupid interpersonal relationship problems >people were talking over the entire film >teacher comes back on stage after the film for Q & A >one person asks him a question out of pity after a painful 10 seconds of silence mfw he somehow spent nearly 20k on this p------------..

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Anon tells /fit/ about his special diet. | /r/Greentext

caloriess.jpg (290 KB, 1000x667) Amount Per Serving Calories 60 Calori Minimum Calorie diet Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)05:28:49 No.38394816 >>38394834 >>38394856 >>38394870 >>3839506 >>38403970 >>38404373 >>38405946 >>38406736 >>38410131 >>38410139 What's the lowest calorie diet you've ever been on while cutting /fit/? I'm currently on a 650 calorie diet. Has anyone attempted to go lower than that? Am I insane for going this low to begin with? Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)05:31:02 No.38394825 >>38402369 Enjoy your Auschwitz mode Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)05:32:50 No.38394834 >>38394895 >>38394816 (OP) I assume you don't care about strength or muscles then? That's fine if your goal is to be dyel Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)06:01:08 No.38394991 >>38395024 >>38401234 >>38394895 that means that you get 520 kcals from protein in a diet of 650 kcals, what the f--- are you eating? >>38394991 520 kcals from protein in a diet of 650 kcals Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)06:05:15 No.38395024 >>3839540 >>38401637 >>38401685 >>38405923 >>38406067 >>38406741 >>38406926: >>38395024 NO NO. THAT'S NOT REAL. THAT'S NOT REAL. Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)17:51:22 File: riptoelaughing.jpg (116 KB, 960x533 Two Multivitamins, and 36 Hard boiled Egg Whites. Two Multivitamins, >13140 eggs per year. 36 Hard boiled Ega Whites Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)13:20:0 Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)15:41:19 No.38400046 ► File: Jaden Smith.jpg (21 KB, 480x270) I WANT TO BELIEVE Anonymous 08/22/16(Mon)02:40:34 No.38406741 File: wanttobelieve.jpg (28 KB, 441x657) Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)05:45:28 No.38394895 >>38395024 >38395024 I want to believe >>38394834 I'm still getting 130g of Protein each day. >>38395024 this is either the biggest retard on this board or the new einstein ABSOLUTAMENTE ASQUEROSO >>38395024 How do your farts smell? Anonymous 08/22/16(Mon)12:59:11 No.38411294 File: 14301460731892.jpg (139 KB, 992x1120) >>38395024 >13140 eggs per year. Anonymous 08/22/16(Mon)12:25:02 No.38410878 >>38395024 ur gonna make it Anonymous 08/21/16(Sun)17:15:58 No.384 File: pepe124.jpg (85 KB, 706x431) >>38395024 Include me in the screencap BraveLemon !.DWbQ4J81. 08/22/16(Mon)12:50:04 No.38411171 ► le: 1470805145427.png (135 KB, 288x415) >>38395024 You might as well spend the day with your mouth in a chickens ass

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AiAnon goes to Work | /r/Greentext

& Write a 4chan greentext "Be me Wake up early for work Already feeling like s--- Get to work Boss is being a total d--- Coworkers are all annoying Feeling really down Get a text from my girlfriend She's breaking up with me Can't believe this is happening Feel like everything is falling apart Decide to take a walk during lunch break End up walking past a park See a kid playing with a dog They both look so happy For a moment, everything feels okay Realize that life is full of ups and downs Can't control everything that happens But I can choose how I react to it Decide to make the most of the rest of my day Go back to work with a positive attitude Get some work done and impress my boss Coworkers start being nicer to me Feel proud of myself for not letting things get me down Life is tough, but I'm tougher."

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Anon asks what happened to women | /r/Greentext

File: 168280266260974268.jpg (40 KB, 669x680) Yesterday a creep told me he loved my long hair, so today I cut it I love your neck What the actual f--- do women want Anonymous 04/29/23 (Sat)14:17:09 No.28853376 >>28853409 >>28853471 >>28853818 >>28854558 >>28854571 >>28854576 >>28854906 >>28854917 >>28854983 >>28855098 >>28855657 >>28855739 >be me >6ft tall >32 y/o >decent face & body (blue eyes, great smile, can bench 60k) >funny, intelligent, empathetic >senior dev earning 60k bong money >recently out of long term relationship (>10 years) >no kids, never married >not depressed (much) >not into drugs or alcohol >have expensive car >have friends all over europe that i visit >love animals WHAT THE F--- HAPPENED TO ALL THE WOMEN WHY ARE THEY ALL TREMENDOUS RETARDS??? Seriously bros i have been reduced to dating 4s with mental problems when my previous gfs were happy go lucky 8s. this is jading me hard what is going on

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Anon is relieved | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 183906721 45.8 kB JPG 15 REPLIES 14 IMAGES Anonymous 183906749 >>183906721 (OP) Good. Hopefully 4channel is next. 5 REPLIES >Capeshit is dying Anonymous 183906776 IT'S THE KIN OF TIRED THAT SNEED WONT FIX 62.7 kB JPG >>183906721 (OP) >vidyashit will be the new capeshit 5 REPLIES 2 hr ago... REPLY 2 hr ago ● ● ● 2 hr ago ...

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anon makes an observation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.28 MB WEBM : Anonymous >>73146846 (OP) # i wish i was that cute desu : Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)11:16:14 No.73146846 >year 2023 >Asian men have given up on masculinity completely Lifestyle 04/30/23(Sun)11:22:05 No.73146886 : Anonymous >>73146846 (OP) # >i will never have a f----- asian robot bitch to tease 04/30/23(Sun)11:27:24 No.73146927 04/30/23(Sun)11:30:44 No.73146949 Queer Asian men feel 'invisible' because of sexual racism: 'Whiteness is the currency' Nov 10 2021. Written by Patrick Kelleher 39821B14-2BC1-4ADC-9AB5-D52A9727AC4E.png 51 KB PNG >>73146846 (OP) # Unfortunately in reality, nobody wants Asian bottoms. White twinks and femboys will always be the currency. : Anonymous >>73146846 (OP) # what's her name? i want to marry her or him whatever her gender is 04/30/23(Sun)12:02:33 No.73147189

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Aon is having the time of his life. | /r/Greentext

49 KB PNG >be me >Bored as f--- in home >Amazing idea pops in my head >Download tinder >Swap alot >Come across a qt3.14 >She's a solid 9/10 >Heart >Start chatting >She likes memes and browses 4chan >Potentialgf.jpg >Ask if she wanna meet up after 2 days of chatting >She invites me to her place >We go to her room >Oh my f--- it's the time I do it! >Have hardcore sex for 2 hours >Hear door bust open downstairs >fuckfuckfuck.mp3 >ITS HER DAD >He comes to the room angry as f--- >"What's up dog" >He punches me in the face >I black out >Wake up >WHERE THE F--- AM I >Hear a slight voice infront of me >"Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there"

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Anon regards his detractors with contempt | /r/Greentext

G Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)04:30:01 No.116123158 >be a rapper >other rappers always talkin s--- bout me >but I dont givafuck >feel need to remind ppl I aint give a f--- >in every song >literally every song say "n----- talkin s---/i aint even trip" or something similar >cuz I need ta remind them bitches they aint gettin to me >definitely dont cry myself to sleep every night They just mad cuz I be makin all dis money and f----- all deez hos

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Anon is a Greek God | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)04:50:29 No.73148144 >>73147966 # >ugh look over there it's Anon >ew >Why does Zeus even keep inviting him to these things? >ikr 124 KB GIF >At least Hephaestus can make useful stuff, all Anon does is creep on human women >I heard he actually spends time helping mortals build cities Imao what a weirdo >Yeah, apparently he threw a fit over some of them not "being up to code" and made then start the sanitation system all over again >why does he care about human toilets Imao? He's the God of simps not the God of poor isn't he? >he is, he does the sanitation stuff for free, not even a prayer in exchange

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