![a kid Dad to F--- Off because I'm playing Super Nintendo displeased at my French, begins to formulate his plot e up the next morning mall beanie-baby frog is on my pillow es the crap out of me g it off eat breakfast cereal beanie-baby frog comes out of box the f--- school back feels heavier than usual middle pocket with, like, ten frogs broughly scared now ut window to daydream as I often do baby frog on outside windowsill ut in class it ut to hall me ack because lights off and drapes pulled light F------ KITCHEN FILLED WITH BEANIE BABY FROGS WHAT THE F--- nocks on door und og suit pressing his face against the door O room door frog in the middle of the floor on top of a piece of paper 9 e door, son. pen door for frogman silently, slowly walks up to me s you, Dad," I say. na voice nothing like my father's: "It is not, Anon." mask off cle mes into the house laughing like an idiot self and says. "We don't say F---' in this house, boy. Now who's up for McDonald's?" d where did you get all those f------ beanie babies from 02/10(Thu)21:52 No.80241XXX ther time when, while I was sleeping, he drove me about five miles away to where a Russian-American family he knew lived. man and woman treated me like I had lived there my whole life. I was there for twelve hours before my father came to pick me up. 2/10(Thu)22:00 No.80241XXX me looking at forbidden websites (read: p--- [This was when I was younger]) ng to pull something crazy because I had wisened up a bit s me from the computer for four days turn on computer age (desktop, everything's icon, the mouse cursor) was replaced by a weird-looking triceritops picture he made himself ged so that dinosaur roars come out of it 24/7 a toy Triceratops to the top of my monitor - two weeks before he took it off. ses that computer monitor, triceritops and all. hu)22:14 No.80242XXX school end's house -cream when I'm in the middle of my third bowl when I can't eat my dinner re in the kitchen with a stern look on his eye with the Russian man from earlier story down e fridge and pulls out a container of Moose Tracks ice-cream, my favoritest ice-cream ever boons spoonful unting taste he and Mr. Russia proceed to eat the entire bucket of ice-cream in front of me, savoring every bite and making "MMMMMMM" and "OOUUAAAHHH SOO GOOG of my chair my dad would tell me to sit back down eyes or look away my dad would stick his fingers in my sides, which I f------ hated atch him and Mr. Russia eat an entire bucket of my favorite ice-cream essert, he gives Mr. Russia a friendly beer and sends him on his way, and then asks what I want for dinner 22:24 No.80243XXX uts. Here's an example: She Said!" joke to my dad mat form of humor but for one shirt n buddies to rig a small microphone up to i ad after one second of me talking, it emits a "That's What She Said!" ay to school be angry at or impressed by my dad. 40 No.80244XXX for putting gum underneath a desk oing to pull some crazy s--- he incident uck on the ceiling of putty is stuck on the ceiling eek There is a full circle of about fifteen wads on the ceiling Smaller putties spell out "UNDER BED" ad, I'm not scared, I'm not scared of putty maller putties spell out "IN DRAWER™ de out of putty Putties form an arrow pointing to the window it was about 5:30 in the morning and very dark EALING A GIANT MAN MADE OF PUTTY OH GOD FREAKY AS F--- MASK OH GOD 1?" LAD...wait, Dad? That isn't you? ck inside the s--- out of eachother ard behind hedge e out of the house n sk arby bushes holding a portable radio playing the Twilight Zone theme m in school y tell me about how hard they worked on this one believe I forgot it.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/579/946/baa.jpg "Anon gets punished | /r/Greentext")
Anon gets punished | /r/Greentext
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![The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/946/856/9f0.jpeg "Anon is hopeful | /r/Greentext")
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Apr 29, 2023 at 05:24PM EDT
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![File: images (41).jpg (6 KB, 230x219) Anonymous 04/29/23(Sat)14:57:49 No.70785245 [Reply] ► >>70787648 >>70787883 >>70785261 >>70785264 >>70785270 >>70785314 >>70785338 >>70785533 >>70785556 >>70785594 >>70785607 >>70785623 >>70785630 >>70786008 >>70786162 >>70786206 >>70786247 >>70786595 >>70787277 >>70787463 >>70787493 >>70787528 >>70787550 >27 yo >finally get a gf (thank you fit) >we stay at my place and make love and cuddle >says she's hungry >browses my pantry (didn't ask before) >takes my pb jar (my special expensive one with no additives) >gets a spoon, takes a huge spoon of pb and dives the spoon in again >all the while I was just staring, completely baffled at so much impolitness and uncleanliness - she was smiling and giggling the whole time she thought it was cute What should I do? I made up an excuse pretended I had to go a few minutes later so she would get the hint and go. I don't think I could live with someone like that, but to be completely honest I don't want to give up the sex what would you do in my place?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/579/874/67e.png "Fitanon is violated. | /r/Greentext")
![: Anonymous 영업 04/29/23(Sat) 10:17:57 No.898410420 42 KB JPG I'm not a bigot but I enjoy bigoted humor, I think it brings all of us together >hate fourchan format so go to plebbit >make jokes about jews, blacks, whites, gingers, arabs, muslims, christians, asians, mexicans, women >some upvotes, some downvotes depending on the sub >make jokes about sexual deviants on a couple of subs > [Removed by Reddit] >permanently banned from reddit Why does that community love 40% suicide rates so much? Anyway, you guys have any good train jokes?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/579/749/7de.jpg "Anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext")
