Anon has kittens for sale | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 20230404 113115.jpg (1.6 MB, 4032x1816) Anonymous 04/15/23 (Sat) 04:39:15 No.72960604 >>72962378 >be me >I got 4 kittens for sale >one of my sisters friends is interested in adopting them >she's 16 and is a arab, wears the hijab and s--- in public last time I saw her >comes to my house to see the kittens >literal 10/10 body and is unusually cute and slutty for a Muslim, big bouncy t--- and short jeans >I literally hold in the urge to coom my pants just looking at her >>72960744 >>72961563 >can't do any weird s--- because her mom is there >her mom is even hotter and is a complete milf Why the f--- are Muslim girls so absolutely slutty? I couldn't imagine what her dad would think if she accidently showed her ankles at home. Is this just a thing that arab girls do? Wear the most nut inducing outfits before going over to someone's house?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets himself in a situation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37 KB JPG 04/01/23(Sat)02:49:11 No.896845893 >be me >have autism >be small and fragile >never able to get a gf because of being short and weak >try best to get gf >self proclaimed incel mistakes small weak boy for girl >tries to take me out on a date >tell him im a dude >only gets more interested >autism kicks in >give him my number >wont stop texting me >block him >shows up to my apartment at 2 am and rings the doorbell for half an hour what the f--- do i do now

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Anon is Pennywise the dancing clown | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/23(Sat)12:22:28 No.72964036 6000.jpg 191 KB JPG >Be demonic space clown >Be child predator >Entice racist to kill black ppl >Entice homophobes to kill f--- >Call the Obese MC a fat f--- >Call the Black MC a n----- >Call the Female MC a w---- >Gaslight the Jewish MC into killing himself and then say he is based for it. Is Pennywise secretly a /pol/tard?

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Anon takes a selfie | /r/Greentext

File: 5107280_Colt M16-001@2x.jpg.jpg (369 KB, 2000x1268) 5107280 O DeaerNFA inc. Anonymous 02/11/20(Tue)15:35:39 No.820464371 [Reply] >be me >M, 16 >pic related

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Anon is a good dog | /r/Greentext

File: My-Llife-As-Inukai-San-s-(...).jpg (1.78 MB, 3620x5120) 2023 TVアニメ化決定! 大拾われた。になった。犬 >>886412204 >>886415378 ☐ My Little Sister Can't Own Me As Her Dog Anonymous 09/28/22(Wed)14:29:53 No.886404303 >>886404365 >>886404892 >>886407207 >>886407571 >>886408344 >>886408514 >>886408698 >>886408776 >>886408947 >>886409491 >>886410308 >>886410378 >>886410488 >>886410530 >>886410581 >>886410657 >>886410732 >>886410770 >>886411408 >>886419085 >>886419509 >be me >be several days ago >it's raining >after like 20 minutes she is back >my younger sister needs to go shopping >wants me to drive her >we drive home >she exists the car, smiles and commands me: >'Heel. Or shall I get you a leash?' >I'm so shocked I just follow her and say nothing >w--? she really starts to treat me like a dog >I'm into femdom, and she strangely seems to fit the picture what do? >ok, fine... >we arrive at the shop she needed to visit >she asks me if I can wait for her and that she will be back in a few minutes Anonymous 09/28/22(Wed)19:35:36 No.886415378 >>886415599 >'You want me to wait for you here like a dog?' I joke >'Well... yes, if you could. So... stay?' >she jokes back and smiles at me with a grin >not sure what she meant by this OP here I did it! And it was... pretty much great. Much better then I expected. Let me write it down for you. Anonymous 09/28/22(Wed)19:40:42 No.886415599 >>886415619 >>886416127 >>886416232 >>886416395 >>886416897 >>886417829 >>8864190 >I go downstairs. My sister is lying comfortably on the couch watching TV. She seems to be in a good mood. >I ask her if we could "watch something else, like maybe a documentary, something on animals or dogs." >And I sit on the carpet next to her. >She smiles and tells me that I'm her little dog already. And she pets my head. >I was hoping for it, but that really surprised me. >She remembers our conversations and seems to be into them. cont. >I try to keep my voice as natural as possible and say that I would really want to watch some documentary on how they train dogs. >"How about I train you to bring me a glass of coke?" she says. >I look at her trying to act like I was very surprised, which I actually was. >"Anon, be a good boy and bring me a glass of coke" >I don't say anything, just get up and bring a bottle of coke and two glasses from the kitchen. >I pour a glass of coke for her. Then as I start pouring one for myself. >>886415599 >"Were you a good boy to deserve your coke?" >"Why do you keep treating me like a dog?" >She smiles. "Because you are one. Aren't you?" >F--- it... she is already too far into it... >"Yes... I am." >"See?" cont. >"Do you want to be my owner?" >"Maybe..." >A moment of a bit awkward silence. She tries to find something else for us to watch on the TV. >"Why don't you *sit* on the couch?" and points to the spot next to her feet. >"Do you want me to sit at your feet?" >"Yup." >I get up and sit next to her. >"And while you are there, you can massage them for me." she asks. And then goes back to watching sports on the TV. >W--? We are close, but she never had been so open about some things. >I start massaging her feet and, trying to look a bit embarrassed, I ask "Like that?" >"Yes. Good boy." >She smiles and keeps watching the TV. Anonymous 09/28/22(Wed)19:41:12 No.886415619 >>886415713 >>886416127 >>886416232 >>886416395 >>886416897 >>886417829 >>8864190 >After like 5 minutes I cannot stand the silence and ask: >"Can I have my coke now?" >"Are you really asking me for permission?" >F--- it, I want to keep playing this game. >"Well, yes. Because I'm your dog and you are my owner." >She smiles widely. >"Good boy. Yes, you can have your coke. Just go back to massaging my feet soon." >For the next 15 minutes we watch the TV, drink coke and I massage her feet. >Then she says that she is tired, gets up and goes upstairs. >"Goodnight doggy, see you tomorrow." >"Goodnight Anona." >I blindly look at the TV for 5 more minutes not really watching it and just thinking of what just happened.

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Anon reads a book | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)09:19:38 No.49505883 >have somewhat stable social circle in uni >get along with this one grill >she gives me a book for christmas that she thinks I would like 82 KB JPG >for some reason never open it >weeks go by, she keeps asking about the book >quickly look up plot summary on wiki so that I can pretend I'm reading it >she's visibly annoyed and angry, says "you probably never even opened it" >insist that I read it, our relationship slowly deteriorates >we get our degrees and don't stay in touch >fast forward six years >find book while cleaning my apartment >decide to read it >find a little romantic note inside about how much I mean to her etc >mfw book is pretty boring

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rare morocco | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: bowSiu4E) Women absolutely and utterly B(...) >Footballer Achraf Hakimi's wife filed for divorce and demanded half of his property. >She was however informed by court that her "Millionaire' husband owns nothing as all his property is registered under his mother's names. >Hakimi receives €1 Million from PSG monthly but 80% of this is deposited in his mother Mrs. Fatima's account. 126 KB JPG >He has no property, cars, houses, jewelry or even clothes in his name. Anytime, he wants anything, he asks his mother who buys it for him. : Anonymous (ID: ZA3qdBK6 04/14/23 (Fri)05:06:28 No.423487379 >>423487379 (OP) # based retard >>423498132 # >>423500859 # 04/14/23 (Fri)05:07:47 No.423487476 : Anonymous (ID: eDFqppCE ) [] >>423493428 # 04/14/23(Fri)05:11:27 No.423487718 >>423487379 (OP) # Kek thats actually based af.

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Motu or Patlu ki kehani, Motu or Patlu dost hai. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/23(Thu)14:08:42 No.72941231 9 KB JPG >Be me >Currently in Mumbai on a business trip >Looking for hotels to stay at on my phone until some f--- heads in scruffy looking Motu Patlu mascot suits approach me, similar to pic above >They demand that I hand over my luggage right there and then >My instincts told me something was up and sol refused, but it didn't seem to matter; it was clear they weren't going to take no for an answer >Before I could collect my thoughts, these f------ snatched my bags and they quickly made an escape to a nearby cab >They got away before I could get to them >Now here I am, standing on the side of the street with nothing but my phone and a throbbing headache >I don't know if I should file a police report or what What the f--- do I do? If anyone can help please let me know what I can do in this situation

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Anon wants to fill up his water bottle | /r/Greentext

jiiL+xG9 #1, No. 54597832 4/14/23 8:24:01 PM 1651776879940206 PNG 576x704 570.0 kB >out walking >dehydrated, need to fill up water bottle >enter a Tim Hortons >220lb 5'6 ogre on cash >ask them to fill up my water bottle >she can't because their covid policy states not to touch customer items >i mention that touches change and bills all day >just get a "rules are the rules" answer >ask for a cup of water to dump in my water bottle >"sorry sir, cups are 10 cents now" >f--- it, head to washroom to use faucet >it's locked >ask the ogre to unlock it >tells me i need to pay to use washrooms >leave, get water refilled at a local coffee shop no questions asked Why are Jews like this? 5 replies

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Anon is Latino | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Am I an unfuckable homunculus? mmm 3.56 MB JPG 04/14/23(Fri)14:16:47 No.28752143 >Latino >Just started my 20's >5'9 >D--- sucking lips >Not bald >Not obese or overweight thank god >Chin is sorta recessed but that's getting fixed, thank you orthodontist >Teeth are aligned and somewhat straight but not quite there yet, still under treatment >Dark circles around eyes, lines under eyes because bad sleep hygiene but it will look better if I fix that >I don't have acne or scars on my face, it's pretty smooth 2 Replies >Skin gets dry alot but vaseline fixes that so my face looks shiny >I always put on sunscreen with the white mask because I have to okay >Skintone is not white nor is it mexican full on nuts to butts dark brown, its an extremely light tan, it borders on white Anonymous >>28752143 (OP) # >Latino Stopped reading there, the answer is yes View Thread 04/14/23(Fri) 14:26:55 No.28752217

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Serbianon realises the truth. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: gCDGyadT 09/10/20(Thu)18:26:14 No.276890547 My country was a mistake. We lost 4 wars in the 90s against underequipped Slovenes, Bosniaks, Croats and Albanians. We have the biggest number of generals and soldiers sentenced to jail. Our proto state in Bosnia was created through genocide and ethnic cleansing. Our reputation is completely ruined, everybody hates us and we're the black sheep of Europe and the world. Our economy is s--- and we're among the 5 poorest countries in Europe along Moldavia, Ukraine, Albania and Kosovo. We haven't even joined any of the relevant world organizations and institutions such as the EU and/or the WTO. Our culture is a mixture of turbo folk music, singers and television hosts who are actually prostitutes and reality tv. Please just nuke us and end this s---. I can't take it anymore. 7 KB PNG

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Anon tries to prepare dinner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)17:34:29 No.19162356 >>19162354 # Reminds me of a face full of rotten potato smell I got once. Probably the worst smell possible. >>19162356 # >grab white onion to cut, last thing to prep for dinner >start to push knife into onion to slice it in half >it gets in maybe a quarter inch and then just slides through like butter >onion shell splits in two >gray soupy onion pus erupts out all over my counter top >by far the worst smell ive ever smelled in my life >intense putrid onion and acidic sulfur smell >start dry heaving and crying >gf is in other room and starts screaming bc the stench travels so fast >she runs in and opens door for me, i cradle the onion abortion and run downstairs and throw it in the trash can >light every candle we have in the house >3 days later going downstairs for work at same time trash guys are unloading cans >old black dude opens my can and stumbles backwards and starts gasping for air >"ah man ah man ah what the f--- man" >pretend not to notice and power walk to car

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Perfect method for action...... | /r/Greentext

>rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit

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