Anon describes society | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

GOLDED >COMPUTER: MAC Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri) 23:58:06 No.180553302 >>180553725 >SCIENCE: BELIEVED >RENT: PAID >TWITTER SCREENSHOT THREAD: POSTED >SOIJAK THREAD: REPORTED >NETFLIX: CHILLED >VASECTOMY: RECOVERING >REDDIT: GILDED AND >WIFE: BLACKED >WALLS: EXPOSED BRICK >NINTENDO SWITCH ONLINE EXPANSION PACK: PURCHASED >T: LOW >MEAT: IMPOSSIBLE >MOUTH: AGAPE >FACIAL HAIR: SCRAGGLY >WATER: FLUORIDATED >DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE: VOTED >ANTIDEPRESSANTS: PRESCRIBED >COOKIES: ACCEPTED >LGBT: ALLIED >GPS LOCATION: ON >BLACK LIVES: MATTER >SUBSCRIPTION IPA: SIPPING >HOT SAUCE: ACQUIRED! >NINTENDO SWITCH OLED POKÉMON SCARLET AND VIOLET LIMITED EDITION: PREORDERED!!!!! Anonymous 04/15/23 (Sat)00:00:25 No.180553343 I look like this

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon wants to eat an AI | /r/Greentext

I want to be the first person to eat an Al #1, No. 92794884 53 minutes ago afa8e13ae9bc5157b0e04fa35d29a769fb 6c93717cb1927416a2b477e8f87806_1 JPG 596x393 30.5 kB Here's the plan: dreaming of eating you 1. I will make a chat bot using an LLM, just like c.ai, chatGPT, etc. 2. I give it a voice + speech recognition, like many people have done so you can actually talk to it. (like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpNG9qrcmrQ (How to Make Your Own Al Waifu Virtual VTUBER or Assistant) [24:17] ► ). I have this part done already. 3. I give it a layer that can execute tasks just like Alexa. If it detects that I'm telling it to do something, it will trigger an action such as running a command on my PC, calling an API, etc. For example, if I say "open firefox" and the LLM says it will do it, then the program will run firefox.exe. 4. I give it a robotic extension. I will create a robot arm that the Al can interface with. wunny.co So now, if I say "move your arm", it will detect that I'm telling it to move its arm and it will send a command to the robot arm to move. Thus, the Al is "controlling" the arm. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYa02BYWD14 (Arduino Voice Controlled Robot) [10:55] ► ) 5. I will replace the robotic part with meat. I'm planning on using frog legs. In school, we did experiments with frog legs, making them move by triggering the nerves with electric probes. I will wire the frog legs to an Arduino, and the Al can communicate with the Arduino through USB to make the frog legs move. 6. After the frog legs are considered "part" of the Al, I will eat the frog legs. Thoughts? 1 reply #2, No. 92794940 48 minutes ago I think I can do it. Not only will I be the first person to give an Al flesh, but I will be the first person to eat one.

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Anon Is A Hacker | /r/Greentext

HackerMan 04/15/23(Sat)00:43:03 No.72959568 >Call a company >"Hello would you like whitehathacker LLC to attempt to hack you? We offer our services to poke holes in your network, and if we find a problem, we let you know. That way we can patch it so no big bad hackerman can break in?" 27 KB JPG >They agree >Try to "hack" their system >Sit on my ass for a week >"Your system is fully functional and we did not find any holes" >Get paid

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The magic land 2 | /r/Greentext

File: url.jpg (12 KB, 480x360) >> Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P >>55065948 >>55066216 >>55066314 >> again... >Washing with water cleans much better than toilet paper, is more hygienic, and cools the lower chakras at the same time. In Ananda Marga water is used for this reason after passing urine as well. (all is part of our 16 points) Some people still like to use paper to dry themself. Of course afterwards you should, as with paper, wash your hands with soap. Rub the soap in the right hand (your clean hand remember :-) ), put back the soap, and clean the left hand with the right. And do you know how much forest is cut, just for toilet paper? My experience was, that after getting over my initial aversion, I feel better using water, and actually feel kind of dirty if, for any reason I can't use water to clean afterwards. >>55064554 (OP) yes. it feels much cleaner than smearing the ass with s--- using a paper Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P _ 11/05/15(Thu)07:36:28 No.55064908 » >>55065020>>55065073>>55065157 >>55065263>>55065328>55065393 >>55065563 >>55066216 >>55066360 seriously india... you guys wipe your ass full of s--- with your hand? Anonymous (ID: wmyGpZAO) 11/05/15(Thu)07:24:03 No.55064554 >>55064768 >>55065100 >>55065577 >>55065710 >>55066483 >>55064824 water cleans out it duh. you cant use water and paper. hand and water(plenty...like 5 liters) is the best combo. besides after pooing we wash our hands with disinfectant too. so its clean and safe http://indiatour.dadaksa.com/etiquette.htm >As mentioned in most of Asia the left hand is used to wipe your bottom. After passing stool, while pouring water from behind with the right hand, you clean the area with the middle finger of the left hand. Just keep pouring water and using your fingers till it's clean. For most people from the west this is really difficult to do, but the sooner you get used to it the better. And one complex less. Beside toilet paper is often not available, the diameter of the toilet pipes is less and there is often no flush system. So even if you can get it, toilet paper tends to clog the drain quite easily, and then your host has to somehow open it Anonymous (ID: Jeqr79KK 11/05/15(Thu)07:39:58 No.55065020 >>55065124 >>55064908 Stop the lies Pajeet, the water you're using is so full of bacteria it doesn't matter if you use 51 or 1001, you're basically washing s--- off with water full of s---. 11/05/15(Thu)07:31:55 No.55064768 » »55064824>>55064872>>55064886 >>55064926 >>55065237>>55065779 As for disinfectant - don't even try that with me, you curry munchers can't afford enough for how many turds you drop, if you could you would just buy TP. This post has gotten my guts in a huff so I'm gonna go poo in the loo. >>55064969 Anonymous (ID: NydObH5r làm 11/05/15(Thu)07:40:49 No.55065050 » >>55065160>>55065485 >tfw Indians aren't smart enough to just use baby wipes if they want to feel the cool sensation of water whenever they take a s---. >> Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P , 11/05/15(Thu)07:40:55 No.55065051 - >55065140 >>55065269 >>55066216 honestly i dont see the west's obsession with s---. after all its just what you ate yesterday. clean it and wash it. should be plenty fine Anonymous (ID: THmwVDM3 >>55064908 >have to waste 5 liters and use disinfectant >somehow this is superior to a bit of paper >"Boss level" immune systems >Eats s--- all day Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P 11/05/15(Thu)07:44:16 No.55065160 >>55065320 >>55066216 Dont be afraid of toilet witches 11/05/15(Thu)07:44:14 No.55065157 >>55065050 >tfw americans dont know how to do something without spending 100$ and ruining the environment Anonymous (ID: IXHXzrPI la | 11/05/15(Thu)07:45:09 No.55065179 >>55065124 >Perfectly functioning immune system >Doesn't eat s--- all day Pick one baheer my son That's f------ disgusting Anonymous (ID: DEu2gf40) 11/05/15(Thu)07:48:16 No.55065269 >>55065303 >>55065352 >>55065323 >>55065051 Dude. It's s---. You can't just s--- in the streets, on the beach, in the river, wherever, wipe it off with your bare f------ hand, and be like "Oh it's just yesterday's food" I shouldn't have to be explaining this to you. HUMAN FECES IS NOT HYGIENIC. There are literally children dying in India RIGHT F------ NOW because you LITERALLY can't get your s--- together. Look at this image. 1000 children are dying a day because they're getting sick from all the literal s--- laying around all over India. Look at this. Look at it: http://unicef.in/Whatwedo/11/Eliminate-Open-Defecation It's so f------ bad that Unicef has started a campaign to collectively potty train your nation. This is real. It's not a joke. Millions of real dollars are being poured into your country to get you to s--- in a f------ toilet. >>55065157 cleaner = superior. You should feel nothing but shame. But instead you're just like "Hey guys what's the big deal s--- is just one-day-old delicious curry!" baka desu senpai Anonymous (ID: ZgsZW5gW) 11/05/15(Thu)07:50:08 No.55065320 >>55065500 File: Indians.png (502 KB, 485x723) >>55065160 >>tfw americans dont know how to do something without spending 100$ and ruining the environment Have you looked at your environment? Anonymous (ID: OSY9|z+P _ 11/05/15(Thu)07:50:12 No.55065323 >>55065477 >>55065562>>55066216 I dont have crusty poop stuck to the rim of hole. Honestly at this point, i wouldnt switch for anything else. Also dont be afraid of the poo witches. Its okay to touch tiny poop bits with your hand. The world wont explode Anonymous (ID: hL6FvIMw) 11/05/15(Thu)07:54:45 No.55065477 ► >>55065555 >>55065572 >>55065323 You don't get anything left behind if you use toilet paper?? I don't see what's hard to understand here. It's a lot better than smearing s--- all over your ass and your hands. Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P) 11/05/15(Thu)07:57:53 No.55065572 >>55065625 >>55066216 >>55065477 According to you using water and hands is mearing s---. according to me wiping ass with a paper is smearing s---. And i dont understand how using water, to you is more smearing s--- than using a paper to repeatedly swiping at stuck poop >> Anonymous (ID: DEu2gf40) 11/05/15(Thu)08:03:21 No.55065745 ► >>55065854 File: r-DEFECATE-huge.jpg (148 KB, 900x346) >>55065635 HURR DURR WIPING YOUR ASS IS SO COMPLICATED Also you keep talking about all this water you use to clean your ass with, yet the problem is with people s------- out in the open. Where are they getting the water from? Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P 11/05/15(Thu)08:06:30 No.55065854 >>55065893 >>55066216 >>55065745 they take a 2 liter bottle of water with them out Anonymous (ID: HOLEX7XL 11/05/15(Thu)08:04:03 No.55065779 » >55065901 >>55064768 You have pieces of s--- under your finger nails - think of that you filty 3ld worlder Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P) 11/05/15(Thu)08:07:59 No.55065901 ► >>55065926 >>55065927 >>55065978 >>55066075 >>55066216 >>55065779 did you forget the part about cleaning with a sanitiser? also we dont scratch the hole with the fingers, its the palm side we use. Also we eat with only with right hand. left hand for ass wiping. 3 levels of safety is built in >> Anonymous (ID: v85QTkhl) 11/05/15(Thu)08:08:52 No.55065927 ► >>55066054 File: 471.jpg (55 KB, 680x598) >>55065901 >Designated s------- hand

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Lasagna-versary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 07/07/22(Thu)19:34:54 No.69328869 what was your last birthday like anons? >turning 20, studying abroad so no family party >none of my friends remembered, despite mentioning it a couple times over the past month >ah well, such is life >a couple days later get a letter >inside is a garfield birthday card, handwritten by my parents >best present i ever got

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Anon doesn't remind anybody of anyone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:14:33 No.90234969 >>90235149 >>90236275 >>90236962 File: tumblr_lq86s0gGsE1gl1mqeo(...).jpg (481 KB, 1280x960) Guess what I'm going to do tonight, /co/... Tanesque Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:58:45 No.90236962 File: 1486857967496.jpg (99 KB, 970x990) >>90234969 >Reverse image search >0 results found NOVEMBER 19

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 21 KB JPG 04/14/23(Fri)15:25:35 No.28752621 >basically live with him despite having my own place >sleep in his bed with him every night >cuddle regularly >literally hate being apart, bored when around other people including my own gf am i gay now >have male best friend >super emotionally vulnerable with each other

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Anon breaks the matrix | /r/Greentext

11/08/21(Mon)01:16:58 No.866297310 So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behavior. For example, if you eat it is likely that you will swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would have to shut down. : Anonymous 41 KB JPG So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that becuase that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise).

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anon wonders if it's too much to ask | /r/Greentext

File: despair.png (204 KB, 428x399) is it too much to ask Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)03:08:30 No.897566614 ► >>897566867 >>897566944 >is it really too much to ask for a loving girlfriend >is it really too much to ask for a girl who will support me, as will i, her >is it really too much to ask for a girl who will listen to me and my problems >is it really too much to ask for a girl who genuinely cares >is it really too much to ask for a girl who is loyal >is it really too much to ask for a girl who loves me for who i am and i dont have to put a fake persona on with, someone i can truly be real with >> Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)03:16:01 No.897566867 ► >>897566614 (OP) What do you bring to the table? Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)03:18:19 No.897566944 ► >>897566614 (OP) yea dude. it's too much to ask when you're a f------ sperg loser. Instead of begging for women to love you how about you become something worth loving.

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anon tries to make a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/23(Sat)01:03:41 No.72953338 9438985.png 15 KB PNG >took my cellphone number >changed the last number (like 7 to 6 or 8) >sent a text >"hello number neighbor!" >no reply At least I tried to make frens, what's your excuse?

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anon wants the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Na >pour hot water >close the lid >wait 5 minutes >the noodles are ready to eat Do you really believe this s---? SP 741 04/14/23(Fri)23:57:10 No.72952706 00:21 Do you really believe this s---? >>72953040 # doureallybelieve.jpg 160 KB JPG : Anonymous >>72952706 (OP) # >Do you really believe this s---? I don't habeeb it 04/15/23(Sat)00:00:16 No.72952729 : Anonymous >>72952706 (OP) # I don't know only incels buy cup noodles incel 04/15/23(Sat)00:30:36 No.72953027 04/15/23(Sat)00:31:47 No.72953040 04/15/23(Sat)00:32:37 No.72953049 : Anonymous : Anonymous >>72952706 (OP) # What happens to the girl inside when I finish it?

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anon has nothing to look forward to anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 238 KB JPG >got a gf >got sex 04/14/23(Fri)22:59:25 No.72952161 : Anonymous What now? What is there in life to look forward to? : Anonymous >>72952161 (OP) # Nothing, you now realize that it was the longing for something that made it special, once you have it it loses its spark, it just becomes stale and you need to find something new to want 04/14/23(Fri)23:12:32 No.72952268 04/14/23(Fri)23:02:43 No.72952180 : Anonymous >>72952161 (OP) # I don't know. I was pretty content when I had a gf and got sex. Didn't want anything else. 04/14/23(Fri)23:30:38 No.72952444 McDonald's McCrucifixion.jpg 90 KB JPG > What now? What is there in life to look forward to? Bills. Q

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Anon describes the life of a wagie | /r/Greentext

File: reallife.jpg (25 KB, 450x512) wagie stories thread Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)13:40:25 No.72952244 [Reply] post your wagie greentexts >be me 1 year ago >be security guard >crackheads always shoplifting >manager notices i am not doing my job >start doing my job >crackheads wait outside for me after work >stabbed to death shelf stacker job interview on monday i hope i get it bros

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Know Your Meme

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