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Anonymous i got cucked 99 KB JPG 04/07/23(Fri)19:33:38 No.72865337 >be me >young palestinian guy >get steady job, marry beautiful wife >life is good >have not f----- wife yet because not ready for kids >notice one day that wife's belly is rounder than usual >what the f--- >ask her about this >she tells me she's as clueless as i am >MustBeAMiracle.mp3 >make do like this >8 months later >the government is doing some b------- program where we have to travel for 2 days >f--- >wife is going to give birth any day now >penalties for skipping this are very strict (bass ackwards third-world country) >make the journey, really hard on wife >do the program (literally a single document to fill out, no clue why we didn't mail this) >decide to find a hotel for the night >no rooms left b/c city is too crowded >f--- >notice a yard with a shed >knock on the door >guy is nice enough to let us sleep in shed >F--- YES >wife starts contractions literally the second we step in >F--- NO >deliver baby, really traumatic experience >suddenly some farmers and kings walk up to door and sing his praises and give him presents >a literal angel appears over the shed >mfw my son grew up to save all humankind and all i ever did was be a carpenter

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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: Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 10:58:14 No.204864976 maxresdefault (3).jpg 73 KB JPG >you're gaslighting me! >you're love bombing me! >you're stonewalling me! >you're mansplaining to me! realistically, how do you respond to this?

GE Anonymous "I will refund 11/27/24(Wed)23:23:27 No.695792406 Valve Just Put Game Publishers On Notice. 1.1M views 5 days ago Bellular News your game." aa 17:58 IMG_7847.jpg 332 KB JPG >DUDE, IM THE WHOLESOME VIDEO GAME SANTA, WE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT MONEY LMAO >destroys indie devs by forcing them to accept refunds even though the small game they released was literally under the 2 hour threshold for playing and being able to refund F--- Gabe. He's a scumbag. Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:25:51 No.695792505 The customer is ALWAYS right >>695793068 # >>695794602 # >>695795310 # Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:12 No.695792525 If your game is s----- enough that even people who bought it on steam instead of pirating demands a refund it's your fault Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:42 No.695792549 Be thankful for Gabe. The second he dies, a brainless profitbot 9000 takes his place, undoes everything he did, and guts Valve like a fish for private equity wealth.

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

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Women and alphabet rights are the same. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 6xHvOZvn) 04/07/23(Fri)11:33:41 No.422628437 >>422628497 File: 26222902_180895469326776_().jpg (48 KB, 1080x1080) >>422628263 I believe that all women are trans women and should have the same rights (none)

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Watch out for the hobgoblin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 01/06/22(Thu)18:57:23 No.870097154 >Some friends I played games with used to call me goblin due to my nose and small stature >didn't see them for about 3 years >started to workout since then >got really buff >saw them again yesterday >now they call me hobgoblin View Thread

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So here I am, pretending I'm a trained airline pilot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22164 03/15/23 (Wed)00:13:57 No.1897566 : Anonymous resize.jpg 16 KB JPG >*Tony Hawk Pro Skater music intensifies* >1,006 x 2 BS Wallride + Wallie >464 x 2 BS Nosedive + Wallplant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrttTR8e8-4 [Open] 03/15/23(Wed)11:30:58 No.1897675

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Anon can't even use his n-word pass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)16:00:10 No.72628331 114 KB JPG >be black >directly quote Malcolm X talking about "house negros" in a discussion for a college history class >everyone looks at me like I just shot someone >at the beginning of the next class I find out that the only black girl in the class (libtard weeb girl) complained about my use of the word "n----" to the prof >he says it made her feel very uncomfortable I can't even say the n-word these days despite being black, it f------ sucks

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Anon misses a childhood friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous mus 04/07/23(Fri)20:24:31 No.72865231 21 KB JPG >Be me >8 years old >Live in comfy suburban neighborhood >No other kids in the neighborhood which sucks >New family moves in one day >They have a girl my age >Go next door one day and ask if she wants to go sledding with me >She says yes >We have a blast together >Quickly become best friends >Run a lemonade stand together every summer, play video games, play sports >Tell her on the swingset that one day we're going to get married >She giggles >12 years old now >She tells me that they're moving >Obviously very sad >We end up losing contact >Now 22 >Want to regain contact with her >Look up her name and find an obituary >She died in 2019 This ruined my entire f------ week

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Nintendo played all sides and won | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Universal Pictures Tirsd 04/07/23 (Fri)03:34:09 No.633324735 mario-movie-who-voices-princess-peach-mario-movie.jpg 172 KB JPG >Advertisements and interviews push her as a strong girl boss character >watch movie >she falls in love with Mario at first sight and does everything she can to help him out and is very sweet to him >doesnt overshadow him at all as Mario saves the day multiple times in the movie Why did the marketing trick people into thinking she's a girlboss when it's not like that at all?

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Anon becomes the manager | /r/Greentext

I'm secretly MGTOW + Acceleration Pill [425 / 49 / 168] and I'm ruining the careers of 12 women. AMA Anonymous ID: tq91fgyr Sun 29 Jul 2018 09:09:28 No. 180455791 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>180455923 >>180455968 >>180456043 >>180456056 >>180456373 >>180456550 >>180456777 >>180456822 >>180456880 >>180456909 >>180456989 >>180457111 >>180457167 >>180457179 >>180457951 >>180458004 >>180458176 >>180458301 >>180458360 >>180458815 >>180458844 >>180458907 >>180459135 >>180459489 >>180459500 >>180460121 >>180460138 >>180460964 >>180461067 >>180461101 >>180461271 >>180461322 >>180462130 >>180462227 >>180462244 >>180462587 >>180462763 >>180463032 >>180463380 >>180463845 >>180466037 tldr: my company just paid a six-figure settlement on what turned out to be a false sexual harassment claim. Manager quit and I took his spot and now I'm ruining all of the women's careers and lives as punishment. The politics in the office are completely 1000% cancerous and everyone is miserable. Here's the full story: >Be me. Extremely unattractive but highly competent project manager. >Stacy gets mad at Chad f------ the new girl and goes to HR with some BS sexual harassment claim >Chad gets fired and Stacy gets an attorney >Discovery finds out that Stacy lied >Company pays out a settlement to Chad and Stacy to sweep it under the rug >Weak f------ Christcuck director who allowed the department to turn into an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, "resigns" and is gone two days later >I get promoted >2nd week at new management job I put a Koran at my desk and hang Islamic quotes on my wall. Everyone thinks I'm a Muslim and I'm now completely un-firable. HR begins to kiss my ass. >Now my reign of terror begins >Move ALL of the Chads into their own separate area. Warn each one individually that any fraternization will lead to immediate termination, no unemployment, and no reference. >All of the Stacies are incensed >All of the Chads stop talking to the women and stop helping them in any way >Anger and despair is pervasive >Implement a new draconian IT policy, get a new firewall, and install tracking software on everyone's computers >Month three. All of the women have violated the IT policy at least two dozen times. >Write up all the women and put copies of the firewall logs in all of their personnel files >Block Tinder, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and all of the various other THOT sites these w----- spend their time on like PopSugar and Cosmopolitan/Vogue etc. >Women in tears every day >The top Chad can't keep his d--- in his pants and is caught hitting on one of the Stacies >Make an example of Chad and fire him for cause (no unemployment and no reference) >Endless fear everywhere >Counsel all of the men that the women are capable enough to do their jobs without their help (hint hint) and mention Chad's recent firing >All men stop talking to all women completely >Mention that email tracking software has now been installed >Men stop communicating with women or helping with their work over digital communications >Increase the women's workloads 30%. They are utterly miserable. >Start keeping staff overtime without pay and on weekends to make up for all the time they wasted jerking each other off when the old manager ran things >Women keep f------ off and start rebelling against me >Write them all up again over a period of a few months plus a few of the male cucks for not working. Show them the tracking software reports. >Annual review >No raises. No promotions. All the women and a few cucks receive terrible marks on their reports destroying any chance of having a future at the company. >Endless pervasive fear, anger, and suffering is now the office political culture in my department. Upper management couldn't be happier that all the nonsense has stopped. >Get a huge raise and praise from my bosses >War is endless. I will never stop. The End.

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Anon does a lil bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

File: grinningpepe.jpg (50 KB, 447x456) Anonymous 06/17/22(Fri)03:48:02 No.69073141 >be me years ago >around 12 >playing minecraft factions >join new faction >do some chores to gain their trust >someone new joins >it's time >everyone had a room >I start digging tunnels from my room and put tnt under pressure plates in their rooms >also blow up my own room to avoid suspicion >everyone is sussing the newfag now >they kick and kill him >mfw >wait until everyone is gone >place base full of tnt >tell them to come back >they come back, light up the tnt (already typed /spawn) >they can only watch as their base gets blown up >mfw

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DOCTOR ANON | /r/Greentext

File: 1394137227174.jpg-(30 KB, 500x275, image.jpg) Anonymous (ID: E/JmhCVX) 03/06/14(Thu)12:20:27 UTC-8 No.535908768 Replies >>535908926 >>535909206 >playing TF2 >arena mode >whole team rushed out and died >all that was left was me and a heavy, I was playing medic at the time >I ran back to base and saw the heavy AFK >after a while he came back >"OH TEAM I AM MOST SORRY" in a voice that sounded he had food in his mouth >from what I can tell he was probably autistic or something, since he spoke Heavy's lines >always referred to me as "DOCTOR" >BLU team approached >'"DOCTOR CHARGE ME WHEN BABY TEAM IS NEAR NOW DOCTOR, HIT IT DOCTOR." >Popped the uber, and he killed the whole team >he adds me >every game we play I always go medic and he goes heavy >he always yells the battle cry of the heavy or laughs like him all the time >always thanks me "YOU ARE GREAT DOCTOR" >I think he was poor since he never played any other games besides TF2 >when asked all he responded was "DOCTOR, money is needed. Must collect money, but money is hard now" >he sounds sad and asked if he ever saw meet the medic to brighten up the mood >when he said no, I gave him a link to the video >he was very ecstatic and eagerly asking me about the part when the medic put the uber part on the heart >asked if it was possible to get new heart with uber >I said heart transplants are possible, but without uber >he got sad again >"Maybe in the future" >he then gave a heavy laugh and said "THEN DOCTOR, HEAVY WILL WAIT FOR FUTURE" -Few weeks later >he messaged me saying "DOCTOR, Heavy will not be fighting until later in the night" >it wasn't until tomorrow he got on -For the record he referenced himself as "Heavy" since it's the only class he ever played and it was in his steam name Continued Anonymous (ID. E/JmhCVX) 03/06/14(Thu)12:21:52 UTC-8 No.535908926 Replies: >>535909256 >>535909332 File: 1394137312502.jpg-(32 KB, 264x269, image.jpg) >>535908768 (OP) >got message saying "DOCTOR, Heavy doesn't feel well. I go to other doctors, but they were nowhere near as good as you, DOCTOR" >he sent this message when I was already asleep, I have no f------ idea where he lives >always leave computer on, so that's how I got his messages (if anyone was wondering) >last message said "DOCTOR, Heavy will go now. But do not fear baby men on other team. You are good doctor. With you, victory is always good. Heavy will join in future." >yesterday he came online >by the time I read his messages he was already offline >never came back online for a year >greeted him and asked why he hasn't been online for so long >it was his mom >"David (Heavy) died of heart failure, I'm sorry. Are you the doctor he was always talking about? You're the only friend on his friends list. He was always going on how him and the Doctor were best friends and always leading the team to victory. I don't know what he was talking about, but I was happy that he was happy. Whenever he was on the computer he always had this smile on his face, and I've never seen him happier. He always stayed strong because he wanted to be with the Doctor. Thank you for always making him happy. I'm selling his computer because we were never really wealthy to begin with. If we were, he'd be here right now. I just wanted to see what was on his computer. Thank you again." >MFW I never replied >MFW I was just staring at that screen for hours

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Anon is part of the new generation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Aries Leo Taurus Virgo SE Sagittarius Capricom Gemini Libra Aquarius Cancer Scorpio 625 KB JPG Pisces 04/07/23(Fri)17:02:35 No.72859220 Failed Millennial General > no money > roommates (your parents) > never respected at any stage of our life, and now we're getting s------ on by the old and new generation > parents shittily raised us, the internet raised us even worse > keep telling ourselves WGMI, but 30 year olds can't coast on potential anymore, and we've accomplished nothing > simultaneous not our fault but also our fault I hate it here bros

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Anon has a throwback moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 209 KB JPG 04/07/23(Fri) 14:22:26 No.72858126 >One of my bros comes over with his external HDD >has archived my old music library from years ago >rip all that old stuff i thought was lost to my pc >today >grab a few beers and listen to s--- i used to years ago >dat nostalgia is overwhelming, brah also bitches and hoes

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Anon is John wick | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 3 441 KB PNG I need something robust, precise. 177 Replies / 52 Images 04/05/23(Wed)22:21:14 No.57746929 Anonymous >>57746929 (OP) # >"Robust..." View Thread 04/07/23(Fri)10:40:00 No.57763026 >hands him picture >"May I suggest, your mother, Mr. Wick?"

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Greentext Stories - reminds me of that one dad in history with the name that starts with a J | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous i got cucked 99 KB JPG 04/07/23(Fri)19:33:38 No.72865337 >be me >young palestinian guy >get steady job, marry beautiful wife >life is good >have not f----- wife yet because not ready for kids >notice one day that wife's belly is rounder than usual >what the f--- >ask her about this >she tells me she's as clueless as i am >MustBeAMiracle.mp3 >make do like this >8 months later >the government is doing some b------- program where we have to travel for 2 days >f--- >wife is going to give birth any day now >penalties for skipping this are very strict (bass ackwards third-world country) >make the journey, really hard on wife >do the program (literally a single document to fill out, no clue why we didn't mail this) >decide to find a hotel for the night >no rooms left b/c city is too crowded >f--- >notice a yard with a shed >knock on the door >guy is nice enough to let us sleep in shed >F--- YES >wife starts contractions literally the second we step in >F--- NO >deliver baby, really traumatic experience >suddenly some farmers and kings walk up to door and sing his praises and give him presents >a literal angel appears over the shed >mfw my son grew up to save all humankind and all i ever did was be a carpenter

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