The duality of (M)Anon | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: image 2023-04-05_172105738.png (199 KB, 454x488) no means yes name for this feel? Anonymous 04/05/23(Wed)20:23:11 No.28693038 >>28695396 >>28695690 >>28696246 >>28696281 >>28697851 >>28697878 >>28697934 keep trying >>28693145 >>28693154 >>28693211 >>28693251 >>28693285 >>28693296 >>28693508 >>28695053 >>28695156 >>28695208 >admit to close female friend I developed feelings for her >she gives the whole "it's so brave of you to share your feelings" yadda yadda rejection, she's trying to make things work with formerly unfaithful ex-bf because she still has feelings for him >says she really enjoys spending time together platonically but asks if I feel like I need to spend time away from her >not a p---- about rejection so say no, I'm fine carrying on >feel immensely better about being upfront with my feelings >continue to spend time with her, not awkward at all, just like things always have been Anonymous 04/05/23(Wed)20:28:30 No.28693075 >>28693088 I'm now at this incredibly weird point where I've accepted we're not going to be in a relationship and I genuinely enjoy her company and friendship, but at the same time my feelings for her haven't gone away. can any anons relate? Anonymous 04/05/23(Wed)20:26:48 No.28693060 be careful with your heart, anon, this is a good way to get yourself hurt over and over

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon shoots the hostages | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: Lynch_mug.png (187 KB, 353x333) >hostages start waking up >ohshit.jpg O snap out of it Anonymous 04/06/23(Thu)20:08:57 No.897133158 ► >be me >in prison on death row >get broken out by criminal gang >assigned to be a watchdog for some guy named Adam >start working with this guy >he's a prick, but I know the payout is worth it >our first job together is a bank >no clue how to rob a bank >Just follow everything he says >we put fentanyl gas in the vents knocking out the hostages in the lobby >rapel down into the loading bay >make our way toward the safe >He tells me to go up to the lobby to secure the hostages >go up to lobby >start shooting them >Adam comes back up "Snap out of it!" >thinks I'm the bad guy for thinking on my feet >on the ride back he reveals he only got half the money he was supposed to >we have to fly to Japan to get the rest >pic related

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The Cantaloupe seeds if anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 64 KB JPG 04/07/23(Fri)11:10:35 No.72857105 > be me > 15 years old > lately been super horny > but Im a fat virgin at the time > tired to masturbate > wants to simulate a vagina > I have a plan > gonna male a Hole in some type of juicy fruit to f--- > go downstairs > only have cantaloupe melon > I take it and head to my room > I cut a hole into this bad boy > after f------ the melon for a few min I e-------- some semen > feelsgoodman > I clean up and go downstairs > I throw the melon in the trash and go about my day One day later > my mother has some visitors > ANON COME DOWNSTAIRS AND GREET OUR GUESTS > ok mom > I go downstairs > I see my mother, sister and our guest eat the melon > Anon I found this in the trash. It was fine so I cut it in pieces. You want some > Ehm no thanks mom > mfw i impregnated my whole family and my guest > see you later virgins

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Anon's uncle sneaks into a children's facility | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Alright. I'll tell a story my uncle told me that his coworker told him. (I know, I know). >My uncle works at a national lab >Contracting, so he's not exactly employed by the government 03/31/23 (Fri) 11:10:34 No.34437610 >Uncle's coworker and his superior decide to go to some old part of the site one day >They find one old shack >That's it, one old small building >They go inside >It's an elevator >Stranger Things.jpg >It's one long hallway with a turn at the end >In my uncle's words "you know the letter 'T'?" >This hallways got hospital style wallpaper >Like, children's hospital style wallpaper >My uncle's coworker and his superior begin walking down the hallway >When they get to the turn, it get's worse >Hospital rooms >With hospital beds >Sized for children >As they get to the end the rooms get worse >Cages >There are cages in the abandoned underground children's hospital I don't know what the government was doing, but I absolutely believe my uncle (and his coworker) that they were doing it. >>34437624 # >>34438164 # >>34444594 #

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HIGH ON LIFE, ANON! | /r/Greentext

104 KB PNG >turns green >mfw Anon is High! >at a stop light >light is red "go green.... NOW >still red "go green... NOW >still red "go green... NOW

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Anon is a great manager | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Hard working people 38 KB JPG 04/07/23(Fri)11:35:58 No.72857228 > be me > recently been promoted to manager > our team has worked hard last 3 Months > but we dont really get the appreciation we deserve > last month we worked in total of 800 hours extra > thats amazing > decide I shall give my coworker some much needed morale boost > I send a mail to my boss how incredible our team has been > mentioned a few names who worked extra hard > send.exe > I head off to Walmart and buy some beers and snacks > hand them out to my coworkers > enjoy it, you guys deserve it > the next day all my coworkers gets a personal mail by my boss saying what a good job they have done > everyone is happy and the work morale is all time high So little is needed to make people happy, this is the moments who drives me to become a good manager. Hope your boss treats you guys good

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Vive la révolution. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/04/2023 10:05:17 No. 97746189 1830 KB JPEG > Be Fr*nch > Be doing a test at school > Hear someone blasting "La Marseillaise" out the window > Im at the 2nd storey > w--.png > See some smoke and a brick flying > Vive la révolution.

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Anon is part of the problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 237 KB JPG 04/07/23(Fri)01:59:01 No.72853295 >read up on Ted Kaczynski and watch Taxi Driver as a teen >"There's nobody that can be that crazy and isolated" >Fast-forward 10 years >slowly ebbing into insanity from years of complete isolation >have to go to court and explain why I tried to KMS and booby-trapped my cabin When did you realize you're one of the "scary guys" the media warns everyone about?

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Anon enjoys some coffee | /r/Greentext

My best friend 30 KB JPG > be me > to tired to wake up > I have to because job > I wake up and goes to my kitchen > makes coffee > slurp slurp > my day is now 5x times better Thank you coffee, your my best friend.

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Anon thinks women are retarded | /r/Greentext

Reminder that women are retarded. >be me >new job >mostly female coworkers >they all talk to me >trying to progressive overload charisma >ask questions about them and their lives like the book that white guy wrote >every single one of them thinks I want to f--- >a few days in, they continue starting conversations >every time they speak they tack on "i have boyfriends" Absolutely f------ retarded w----- who have nothing to offer but p----.

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MercAnon 2: Autistic Boogaloo | /r/Greentext

File: Buff MercWojak.png (255 KB, 750x832) >> I'm back retards, do I take the job? MercAnon 04/05/23(Wed)22:59:50 No.28693989 >Be me >MercAnon, same as before >Went gym day yesterday >Did as instructed: f----- my leg up real bad (over stretching and using the workout machines wrong) >H-------- did that hurt >I've been shot in the leg, and even that wasn't as bad as the first few seconds of this >Later decided to check out what the contract really was >Turns out it's not 50k for THREE months, not TEN (rumours amirite) >Departure for cartel country is ASAP if I take the contract. Do I take the job? According to what you guys have told me, my chances of actually ending up as some pendejo's plaything seem minimal. Anonymous 04/06/23(Thu)02:40:07 No.28694885 if three months seem better for you, take the job OP. Anonymous 04/06/23(Thu)02:40:59 No.28694887 >>28693989 (OP) 50k for three months is fantastic. What the hell else do you have to do? Do you have supermodels to bang? >>28694887

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Yummyinmytummy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Yourself 122 KB JPG > be me > hanging out with a classmate > always had a interest in her 04/07/23(Fri)09:26:32 No.72856633 > she is very hot and has enormous milkers > recently everything has been going fine > its a hot summer day > invite her out to get ice cream > we stand in line and just f------ around > get our ice cream > yummyinmytummy.exe > suddenly a bee comes > BZZZZZZZ > the bee lands on her big breast > prob because she is eating ice cream > she panics > the bee stings her in the t--- > I laugh my ass off > ANON WHY IS THIS FUNNY > me >hehehe you got boob bees > she is allergic to bees > she gets a reaction and we have to call for help She wont answer my texts

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Idk if this has been posted before but its good | /r/Greentext

BOARDS /B/ Anonymous 716321829 /b/ 716313601 39% 8:47 PM /b/ 716320298 >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, I'll take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. 5 REPLIES 1 hr. ago >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever.

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