Anon found out how to become better | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 437 KB GIF 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 42 KB JPG 03/21/23(Tue)20:28:18 No.72660463 >mfw I realize I am incel because of my personality >changes personality >instant Chad Why didn't anyone tell me it was this simple? Perhaps it truly was my personality after all.... View Thread 03/21/23(Tue)21:31:59 No.72661197 >>72660463 (OP) # Also be rich. Rich and Chad is good combination.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon want to celebrate a birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Summer of 2018 16 KB JPG 03/22/23(Wed)09:55:03 No.72665145 > be me > summer of 2018 > hot as f--- > just finished practice session > coach is mediocre but friendly > my friend has birthday soon and we want to celebrate it > but we need a place > oh wait > cave.exe > me and my friends locates a cave and want to explore it > for some reason our coach want to join us > we enter the cave and it is cool as f--- > we head deeper in > oh anon, this place is perfect for a birthday party > suddenly its start raining > it rains a lot > oh f--- > for some reason we head deeper in to wait out the rain > suddenly there is water everywhere > me when I realize we are stuck in the cave > that moment when we made national headlines because we wanted to celebrate a birthday in a cave > the rescue to get us out cost the government around 9 million usd > a guy died because we were retards > still did not Get any birthday cake

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Anon goes for the gussy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue)20:51:41 No.72661429 >Be me >Try to nichemax because nothing else is working >Wanna attract goth girl I see in the library >Try for a glow up changing my appearance completely >Mom gets mad at me for why I am dressed this way. and I should change back or else I will be kicked out of the house because no son of theirs is going to be allowed to look like they worship the devil >Bros, do I give up my neet lifestyle or go for the gussy? 6 KB JPG : Anonymous >>72661429 (OP) # Send a picture of what outfit you were planning on wearing this is the only context this thread will need 03/21/23(Tue)21:59:45 No.72662203 03/21/23(Tue)22:48:40 No.72662657 : Anonymous >>72661429 (OP) # You should stop saying things like "nichemax" and "go for the gussy". That will probably help your chances a lot

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Anons Japanese friend. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37KB JPG : Anonymous 11/30/22(Wed) 06:30:50 No.18640785 How do they get the cheese sauce into these bad boys? 11/30/22(Wed) 06:34:42 No.18640794 18640785 (OP) # i asked a japanese friend about this once, he told me "この投稿に返信しないと、あなたのお母さんは今夜眠っている間に亡くなります。 " Works pretty well >>18640828 # >>18640943 # >>18641307 # >>18642291 # >>18642324 # >>18642329 # >>18642419 # >>18642600 #

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A well diverse poop portfolio | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)21:27:20 No.893136781 952 KB WEBM I just took the best s--- ever. It took me 45 minutes, it had everything from diamond hard logs to pure liquid. The bathroom stunk so bad afterwards I had to open the window to let it air out, I light a match to help with the sulfur and of course sprayed air freshener. Took three flushes and a half roll of toilet paper. At the end of it, just one long fart, about 15 seconds of liquid. Then my bladder was finally empty. Im fairly certain I lost at least 5 pounds.

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Anon is confused by his big booty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I am so confused PULL YOUR PANTS UP YOUNG MAN 29 KB JPG 03/21/23(Tue)21:14:08 No.72661000 >Be me >3 years ago, hanging with a couple of friends and GF at the time >Friend jokingly smacks my ass and says "You got a fat ass, my guy" >GF says to me "You really do" >Only thing I can feel is confusion >FF to last month >Lost weight since quarantine so waist size went down >Pants start sagging >Mom says I should start wearing a belt because I'm "The only guy in the family with an ass" >Exact same feeling of confusion as last time >FF to yesterday >Pick up Long Distance GF from airport >Get to my place >We hug and kiss for a while until she grabs my ass >"I don't know if other girls have told you this but you have a really nice butt for a guy" >same feeling of bewilderment as the past 2 times Do women really like man ass this much or am I just an exception or whatever. I don't think my ass is even that nice or whatever. 3 Replies : Anonymous what u waiting for r View Thread 03/21/23(Tue)21:25:13 No.72661119 post dat fatty

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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

When your dog has something in its mouth and won't drop it 44 KB JPG >be me >get first house, real cheap but ok neighborhood >second night >Sitting at the computer in my new living room >Hear footsteps >Turnaround.mvk >Black homeless dude broke in and froze like I couldn't see him >Tell him it's fine, he's an idiot because my first house has no furniture >End up smoking all of his pot with him I had no money and he didn't stab me because he thinks I'm chill so worked out all around.

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Anon doesn't use condoms | /r/Greentext

File: 1289a354b9830b99056c18d8d(...).jpg (28 KB, 720x460) O Need Advice Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue) 19:35:34 No.72656339 [Reply] >be me 27 year old loser >broke, no job, lives with parents, no drivers license >generally very late in the life department >met girl 2 years ago online >going steady, we meet once every few weeks or so >she's very nice >couple of weeks ago we met the usual, tells me she told her family about me >Idk why, but I didn't think much of it >few days go by and I receive a call from unknown number >it's her dad >he's very traditional and told me he wants to met me and makes things official between me and her, idk he sounded kinda p----- off >call the girl and ask her w-- that was about >she told she's a pregnant >her family is now arranging things with my family >my parents are p----- with me and want me to get a job >what do I do >I'm literally panicking and sweating right now >I need advice, am I f-----?

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Anon is a fighting game player | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >WHAT [JAGUAR NOISES] >HELL YEAH [JAGUAR NOISES] 03/19/23(Sun)09:06:44 No.45463341 O KING.png 2.61 MB PNG

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Anon Lies About Why He's Still A Virgin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 575 KB JPG 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

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Anon goes to the movies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/14(Sun)23:45:49 No.29298147 >ask girl out on a date >she says yes >ask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 153 KB JPG >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >he drops us off >as I'm getting out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >I clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >I roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date

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Anon IS Burger King | /r/Greentext

Anonymous BING 51 KB PNG 03/21/23(Tue)15:07:13 No.72654991 >tfw no burger king gf >tfw she will never tell you, you can have it your way >tfw she will never ask you to eat perfect toppers off her a------ >tfw she will never tell you to rule the day in her bk buns One word: suffering. I'm a burger king, where's my burger queen?

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Anon likes that sleep deprived high | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue)21:53:51 No.72656246 I am going to kill myself image-1.png 571 KB PNG >be me >insomniac >psychiatrist prescribed me meds >take sleeping pills >try to stay awake. one of the best highs Imao

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