Anon is patriotic | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10 KB PNG donut 03/10/23(Fri)16:59:07 No.895673970 >be me, a proud Canadian >wake up to the sound of maple leaves rustling in the wind >head to Timmy's for my daily dose of double-double and maple-glazed >apologize to the person in front of me in line for accidentally brushing their shoulder >take my dog for a walk in the snow and apologize to him for the cold weather >watch a hockey game and get into a friendly argument with my friend about who's the better team >say sorry to the TV when the other team scores a goal >go to work and have a productive day, while still finding time to chat with coworkers and ask about their families >finish work and head to the pub to grab a pint of beer and some poutine, eh >politely hold the door open for someone and apologize for making them wait >go home and watch some Canadian TV shows while cuddling up in a cozy blanket >fall asleep dreaming of hockey, maple syrup, and apologizing

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon takes his family to a major city | /r/Greentext

File: 1661379392088920.png (66 KB, 600x529) FUNK Anonymous 09/11/22(Sun)16:33:05 No.170721741 ► >>170721867 >is that... a construction site??? >MAMMA MIA!!! LUIGI, ALESSANDRO, MATTEO, ENZO, GIORGIO, CANCEL YOUR PLANS FOR THIS WEEK WE'RE GONNA WATCH SOME WORKSITE KINO

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anon's evil is unmatched | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 24 KB PNG 03/10/23 (Fri) 18:11:44 No.72521532 >People are nothing more than a game 2 me >Spend months at a time strategically planting ideas into people's heads, and playing mind games >Get bored of someone after a while and move on to my next victim but that's okay because there's literally billions of you dirty little roaches to f--- around with. >some ppl actually believe I care about them as people but the truth is I only use them for my personal advantage and entertainment 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous >>72521532 (OP) # >cashier told me to have a nice day >I told her to have a nice day too 03/10/23(Fri) 18:27:06 No.72521691 >she's wrapped around my finger eating from the palm of my hand like a dirty little roach >she doesn't even know I'm a master manipulator telling her to have a nice day is a just a game to me, her having a nice day is for my own selfish gain. she thinks I care about her but she means nothing to me.

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/k/ommando meets a girl at the bar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 03/10/23(Fri)09:57:44 No.57444910 >>57445139 # >be talking to cute girl at bar >She's nice and sweet >Talking about interests >I mention I have an interest in history >She starts talking about her WW2 autist bf who overanalyzes uniforms in media and owns several WW2 uniforms You bastard I know you're here f--- you : Anonymous : Anonymous >>57444910 (OP) # >"hey, me and my boyfriend saw you from across the bar and we really dig your vibe" >points to the SS-obersturmfuhrer sitting on the barstool next to her 03/10/23(Fri)10:13:03 No.57445059 03/10/23(Fri)10:14:02 No.57445073

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Anon can't find any greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Snakes will never learn how to be ro000 CHECK THIS S--- OUT BREAKING I told you so 227 KB JPG : Anonymous 686 KB GIF 02/22/23(Wed)00:10:34 No.894770310 ive been 2 months in here already. how long do i have to stand your f------ loli threads till i find a funny greentext 02/22/23(Wed)00:17:18 No.894770615 I don't know, man. They're pretty rare these days. : Anonymous >be me >ive been 2 months in here already >how long do i have to stand f------ loli threads >can't find a funny greentext 02/22/23(Wed)00:38:09 No.894771520 : Anonymous >be me >walk into a school >take a girl >walk out with her 02/22/23(Wed)00:44:16 No.894771806 02/22/23(Wed)00:46:25 No.894771921 : Anomynous >>894770310 (OP) # >as soon as she touched my d--- i came and started farting 02/22/23 (Wed)00:47:15 No.894771957 : Anonymous >the femboy was visibly aroused

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Anon gets a kiss | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/08/16(Tue)23:11:36 No.672953508 >in high school >star on our football team >homecoming >students are gathered in the quad for a pep rally >me and two other players are blindfolded >we have to get a kiss from a cheerleader and guess who she is >i decide to be funny >the cheerleader pecks me on the cheek >i move my lips to hers and grab her >shove my tongue down her throat >everybody is cheering >cheerleader is trying to push me away >cheers are now a frenzy >>672953923 >>672954157 >>672954160 >>672958826 >>672958857 >>672959129 >the cheerleader in charge asks us three who we kissed >everybody is still screaming and laughing as we say out the names of different cheerleaders >time to remove blindfolds >we are each standing across from our mothers >i french kissed my mother >never puked so hard in my life >still cannot think about it without getting queasy

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anon came out | /r/Greentext

uh.jpg 113 KB JPG >Well look who just came out of his cave! reb mccuster !LiBWHatgAQ 11/27/14(Thu)21:14:15 No.51726282 >>51726091 (OP) # god damn it this hit too close to home Anonymous 11/27/14(Thu)21:12:48 No.51726257 >So, what are you doing these days anon? Are you working?

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Anon talks about his family | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >I am married to my grandma >I am my own grandpa.

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Anon is a bottom | /r/Greentext

>at grocery store >make eye contest with girl >in a good mood so give her a smile >she gives me a sexy wink >I get scared and leave

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Anon wanted to pee peacefully | /r/Greentext

VmG7XCG7 #1, No. 54010493 3/10/23 4:28:59 AM 1672491951663449 JPG 460x397 22.7 kB >fresh out of uni >first week of work >first time working in a proper office, only did blue collar jobs during uni >thought I would finally be amongst civilised, intelligent peers >go to bathroom to pee >colleague goes in the urinal right next to mine (there were plenty of others free, we're just the two of us) >starts talking to me, casually, as if we were in the f------ pantry getting snacks >can't pee >pretend I finished >go wash hands, he's still talking to me, from his urinal >have to pretend I have something urgent to just get the f--- out of this bathroom What the hell is wrong with office workers, also I could hear him pee, it was a long solid stream he wasn't embarrassed at all. What should I do, should I tell HR or confront him on his behaviour?

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Trouble Afoot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 386 KB PNG 03/09/23(Thu)21:01:29 No.72513585 >be me >college coomer >also footfag >meet a girl from my class >never had a gf before so already know im gonna fail >surprisingly s--- goes well and we talk a lot >feel like the curse is being broken >be fallin in love >shes the most beautiful woman ive ever seen >she tells me her toes are reddish from some reason >idea,jpg >tell her something similar happened to me so she should send a pic so i can diagnose her >she tells me to wait a minute >heart is beating fast, mouth is salivating, peen is rising, cooming a little >she sends pic related >puke everywhere from her disgusting f------ paw >in a fit of rage tell her shes a f------ slut and she and her gnarly hoof can go f--- themselves and block her (tbf i was acting in self defense) be crying cause turns out god is f------ with me again and the curse hasnnt been broken. >realize i have to see this bitch tomorrow in class. shoud i just f------ drop out of school anons? i may gag at her sight

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andrew tater final words. (Notice how I didn’t capitalize his name) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >Y h 170 KB PNG 05/12/22(Thu)20:35:05 No.68603213 >I wish I *cough* spent more time hating on women >BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

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Gamma Grindset | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/10/23(Fri)11:56:22 No.28528151 112 KB PNG >manlet >brown >below average looking >gamma male >ask a pretty girl from uni out and she rejects me >FFW 15 days later she accidentally founds out im a trustfund kid because my Chad best friend accidentally told her after she tried to flirt with him >suddenly she is all over me >she is now receptive to the slightest feeling of approval from me >hate her and loathe her >f--- her and use her to get off >ghost her the day after >TFW she is now telling everyone that i "r----" her Gladly there are security cameras in my apartment, so i can easily prove that i never forced her to do anything. She is angry because i f----- her for free and refused to give her commitment. But in all honesty. She wanted to use me, so i used her instead. It's not like i would do this to every girl. She deserved it. In any im feeling so empty...

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