Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 7 KB JPG 06/27/18 (Wed)00:08:13 No.46392003 Just gonna share a story about how I realised that Chad is not my enemy, and that he in fact is everything I could ever want to be. >many years ago >meet Chad playing dayz, we were both young >talk to him throughout many years, he considers me a very good friend for some reason >we talk about we're doing, play games once in a while, he's busy but when he's online he always messages me and asks me to play stuff with him >this is good for me because i'm f------ lonely, have hardly any friends, but Chad is always there >he invites me to visit him, he lives in another Western Euro country >I have no money because NEET, tell him I can't, he says he will pay for me >buys me a ticket, says I can stay over his place, it's a really nice place, Chad has a great job in some IT company >l visit him, he takes me to parties, never leaves my side, gives me talks on how I should behave >introduces me to his friends, tries his best to get me to interact with them, talks about me to his friends and makes me sound a lot more interesting than I am >takes me to some clubs where he's well known, tells me things like I should just enjoy myself and not be nervous, actually gets me to dance one night >I have a few breakdowns when we're outside doing stuff, in my mind I can't do this, all the self hate makes me completely shut down sometimes >Chad takes me out and talks me through it, som start having fun being around normies, Chad never leaves my side : Anonymous 06/27/18(Wed)00:12:34 No.4639206 >he's always chatting up girls, they're approaching him like it's a common thing for him, instead of trying to score with them he instead gets them to talk to me >spilling spaghetti hard, but know that Chat is there and he is, always see that he's right there if I shut down, constantly walks up to me and asks how I'm doing, if everything is ok >at the same time he's always giving me space to talk to new people, constantly introducing me and trying to get me to be more social, he's actually succeeding because I DO talk to people there >even manage to chat some s100t up, no idea how but she seems interested in me, we're both laughing and having a generally good time >Chad senses this and tells me to take her to his place, he will stay out and will sleep at his buddies place >completely fail and lose my boner when I'm with her, tell Chad about it and he laughs and says that it's no big deal, says the same thing happened to him >can tell that he knows that I'm a virgo but he never mocks me >spend a month with him, eventually do end up losing my virginity with another girl he introduced me to fast forward to now, this was around a month ago >he's giving me tips on how to make cheap but meretricious meals >send him pics of what I made, he is actually proud for some reason >realise he's my father figure, he's the best person ever met >is trying to convince me to go to the gym >wants me to visit him again and take me fishing at his cabin Sure there are good and bad Chad's, but this guy and his friends are the best people I have ever met. I don't know why he decided to try and "fix" me but for some reason he did and I am so incredibly thankful.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Why we lift | /r/Greentext

O Greta Thunberg is why I lift Anonymous 01/31/23(Tue)20:39:39 No.69796206 >>69796224 >>69796229 Greta Thunberg is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the UN climate summit after party. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her on CNN She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Greta Thunberg? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a c--------. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her c-------- and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't a climate change activist?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Mexico" I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's OK," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Mexico?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

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Anon has mastered body and mind. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)02:10:51 No.65577668 >late at night >craving a Wendy's burger >not even hungry, I know I'll only take a few bites and throw the rest away >I like the idea of eating a Wendy's burger, but not so much the reality of paying for something I won't eat >decide to just picture the burger instead >vividly picture platonic form of Wendy's burger >it's perfect, they can't possibly f--- up the order because it's in my mind >imagine eating the burger bite by bite >I finish 345 KB GIF >feel better, no more craving What the f--- is wrong with me

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Anon relives a childhood trauma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous teacher trauma thread 48 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue) 20:57:32 No.72046762 or any other adult who had authority over you as a kid and did/said something which still f---- you up to this day, no matter how stupid it was >be me, grade 2 >total asskiss teacher's pet type >always the "good girl" example >hated attention so hated that but that's another talk >christmas holiday coming up! >grandparents are gonna take me to see the nutcracker! >never get to hang out with them! >so excited! >won't shut up about it for like three weeks leading up to it >last day of school before holiday break >show is gonna be that night >do something stupid in class and teacher gets big mad >takes away my markers as "punishment" (doodled all the time, "art kid") >fullblowntantrum.wav >not used to being the "bad kid" >no idea how to handle this kind of attention >"Kids who behave like you don't deserve to go to a nice show with their grandparents!" Still think about that to this day. That teacher was really nice to me before/after that. Have always been told how mild-mannered and well-behaved I was but still convinced that was my one "mask-slip" moment and the only time an adult actually saw/told the truth about me, and that the truth is I'm an absolute p------------ who doesn't deserve anything good.

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Harry Potter and the Coomlet of Fire | /r/Greentext

What would be different in Harry Potter if Draco was a girl named Davina? Anonymous 02/01/23(Wed)16:38:06 No.180027190 ► >got a stiffy, Potter? >:3 >you wish!

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Anon tries to be a funny man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How to get a personality 52 KB JPG >be me, 17 >couple years ago before I found r/greentext and eventually this website I used to be a funny guy and actually was fun to hang around >now I just think about the dreadful future we're headed into, recession, housing, the college debt I'll hold for years, etc. 02/01/23(Wed)18:39:09 No.893639282 Guys I've realised that scrolling on here for too long has genuinely eroded my personality and radicalised me, is there anyway I can stop and become a normie again? >biggest problem isn't talking to women or "pulling" women, it's getting them to stay >last week I went on a date with a Stacy and started talking about how I say the n word not because I'm racist but because it's a political tool the jews use to divide the working class and I'm fighting against it >she made up an excuse and left halfway >w-- do I do bros I miss the younger me if I still had his personality I'd be able to make a girl smile and giggle Anonymous : Anonymous 25 KB JPG 02/01/23(Wed)18:40:45 No.893639312 02/01/23(Wed)18:41:53 No.893639342 >>893639282 (OP) # >the jooz

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Anon has never had banging of pussy | /r/Greentext

#90, No. 893633181 6 hours ago Please excuse of English 7 years from go my mom was single lady because of death. I was 16 years and never had banging of p----. >she says to me, hishdi, when I look at peen is good to put in . >I said, yes we do inside. >when banging of p---- she also make yershkuh on face. >is hot to p---- >I did for 5 years. >s--- was cash af

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anon unvirgins himself | /r/Greentext

: me 28 KB JPG : Anonymous : Anonymous proud of you >she's technically my wife now in my head >later virgins : Anonymous : me 02/01/23(Wed)14:59:45 No.893637891 >be me >never left my room for two weeks >finally get board >decide to look through the window >see a woman walking down the street >it's love at first sight >have a fantasy of her and me getting married >>893637891 (OP) # >bump 02/01/23(Wed)15:34:39 No.893638563 02/01/23(Wed)15:45:17 No.893638746 02/01/23(Wed)15:48:09 No.893638799 02/01/23(Wed)16:29:41 No.893639691 02/01/23(Wed)16:55:19 No.893640268 : Anonymous >>893637891 (OP) # Add me in the screenshot redditfags

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i see a white dick and i want it painted black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous | 02/01/23(Wed)12:53:38 No.893634606 1604167495335s.jpg 10 KB JPG SKRITCH SKRYTE SKR >be 15 >friends dad is teacher >be with friend rifling around in his attic >find box full of photos >one of the photos is his dad (pe teacher), the history teacher, and the janitor all standing side by side and arm in arm >all smiling >notice janitor is completely naked >brain slowly trying to comprehend what i'm looking at >his d--- is covered in paint (you can see an open bucket of paint in the bottom of the picture) >stop looking at pictures >go down stiars >never bring it up again >the worst part is i'll never know why

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anon profits off a mans death | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 42 KB JPG death 3 Replies 02/01/23(Wed)16:25:40 No.72048961 >Have youtube channel >Make shitpost video about youtuber >He Kills himself >Video skyrockets in views gets to about 25k >Tfw I'm literally profiting of a man's View Thread

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Anon learns girls can fart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)04:29:56 No.28241668 She farted. So basically we have been together over 5 months and last night she stayed. She had never spent the entire night. I usually send her home after cooming in an Uber. But yesterday i was like "sensitive" if that makes sense, i felt the need for cuddles. You know the thought guy act gets to tire. In any case she fell sleep and she farted. 2 times. Loud farts. And they were stinky. It was gross. I feel like i lost my lust for her. I never saw a girlfriend farting before. Of course seeing my mom or my sister's is one thing but a partner is different. Will the disgust eventually go away? This morning i her without make up and suddenly i no longer felt she was making me a favor by dating me. She is as human as a normal ugly girl.

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