Anon's "happy" ending | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)08:50:22 No.624613532 >>624610090 # Here's another story. >new girlfriend. >single mom, smokes, has tattoos, facial piercings, and really likes horoscopes. 149 KB JPG >I don't like any of the aforementioned s--- but I'm lonely so I simply live with the pain. >Don't even bring up that those things are red flags for me, I smile and endure it because I'm so f------ lonely and she has nice tiddies >We don't do anything sexual for the most part because her kid is around, and she chides me for being pervy. >whatever.jpg, at least I can fondle her tiddies in bed. >Finally she got angry and accused me of cheating >I'd stopped trying to make advances on her because she'd tell me we can't do anything because her kid is around and she took that as me having gotten my rocks off with another woman >A damning accusation, I ask. "who am I cheating on you with?" >"You know who!" >I literally don't, because I wasn't cheating. Anyway, she's already burnt the proverbial bridge to my heart at this point so I say f--- it and bail. >For s---- and giggles, I tell her I was f------ one of her friends and sent a shop'd text of her friend asking me to come over >Find out later she went to that friend's house, got in a fight with that friend, and ended up going to jail is it f----- up I consider that a "happy" ending?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon loves cows | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)20:56:28 No.868444254 Lingerie Set for Women Teddy Japanese One Piece Babydoll Nightwear go Screenshot_20211211-204924_Amazon Shopping~2.jpg 153 KB JPG >get gf cow lingerie on amazon >f--- her in it many times >driving past field of cows on my way home from work >get r----------- Did a God really create us?

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Anon drives a shitbox | /r/Greentext

R: 2/1: 2 >drive a shitbox with no passing power >try to pass a left lane camper and they speed up

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Anon is nostalgic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 231 KB JPG 01/17/23(Tue)13:25:31 No.71859175 >miss the old times where losers and weebs would post here about embarrassing stuff or some funny autistic story >now all you f------ do is larp over trannies and femboys

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Anon has a nightmare | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous SHADOW HEDGEHOG SELA 184 KB JPG 01/17/23(Tue) 10:39:24 No.71858736 Nightmare trauma thread? >be me, retarded 10 year old >it's 2005, Shadow the hedgehog came out on gamcube >I played the s--- out of it >fall asleep whilst playing it >have dream about being in the game >Black doom appears and tells me I'm stuck in this nightmare >beg to be let out >he tells me I need to finish every route of the f------ game >every single one >there are like 350 different routes you can take >i do it >after what feels like a whole year i finally finish >during the whole time I grow more and more miserable >I can barely stand it >everytime I start it I have to hear the exact same voice lines again and again >black doom releases me after I beg him and show him that I finished the game >wake up >only an hour passed irl >cry for hours I still fear going to sleep. I don't want to get stuck again View Thread

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Anon is disappointed with current political landscape | /r/Greentext

58 KB JPG Why were leftists in past so much more cooler then ones we have today ? >Theyre afraid of guns >Protest a while then move on to next thing with was >arent organized >no big goal >care more about what you are then what you can do

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Racist transformers dream | /r/Greentext

■ Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:42:21 No.30741395 >>30741435 >>30741439 >>30741450 >>30741470 >>30741471 >>30741480 >>30741493 >>30741500 >>30741503 >>30741513 >>30741517 >>30741522 >>30741697 >>30741829 >>30741985 Ivehadenoughpeko.png (30 KB, 128x128) google yandex iqdb wait 历 Sigh What dream are you thinking of sending Ame /hlgg/? I have a ton but I don't think any are appropriate. >Flesh urinal dream >Eldritch half-goat monster dream >Floating island dream >Eating thumbtacks dream >Giant scorpion pet dream >Racist transformer dream I probably need to see a therapist or something Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:44:02 No.30741435 >>30741819 >>30741395 >flesh urinal >Racist transformer Please elaborate. ■ Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:49:49 No.30741582 >>30741601 >>30741612 >>30741639 >>30741650 >>30741651 >>30741672 >>30741677 >>30741679 >>30741687 >>30741700 >>30741701 >>30741703 >>30741712 >>30741713 >>30741729 >>30741732 >>30741735 >>30741736 >>30741745 >>30741747 >>30741752 >>30741758>>30741762 >>30741774 >>30741784 >>30741789 >>30741793 >>30741799 >>30741808>>30741812>>30741816 >>30741843 >>30741850 >>30741853 >>30741870 >>30741874 >>30741876 >>30741881 >>30741883 >>30741903 >>30741906 >>30741909 >>30741910 >>30741923 >>30741930 >>30741947 >>30741970 >>30741975 >>30741983 >>30741994 >>30742003 >>30742019 >>30742023 >>30742028 >>30742032 >>30742044 >>30742048 >>30742052 >>30742073 >>30742103 >>30742106 >>30742135 >>30742197 >>30742208>>30742223 >>30742295 >>30742366 >>30742401 >>30742403 >>30742509 >>30742566 >>30742604 >>30742607 >>30742613 >>30742660 >>30742663 >>30742669 >>30742750 >>30742753 >>30742807 >>30742815 >>30741439 I don't remember perfect details but basically in my dream I was a transformer (don't recall which one) and I was telling really bad transformers jokes to some of the autobots. My jokes were all along the same lines of "if our boss was dirty he would be optimus grime" or "If our boss was green he would be optimus lime" All of a sudden a black family approach me and tell me my jokes are f------ terrible. This makes me so mad I respond with "IF OUR BOSS WAS BLACK HE WOULD BE OPTI-COMMITS CRIME!". I then shoot down the family and me and my autobot brethren transform and start mowing down black neighborhoods. I am not even racist honestly. ■ Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:52:53 No.30741679 ✓ 1607783820653.jpg (22 KB, 317x267) google yandex iqdb wait >>30741582 >This makes me so mad I respond with "IF OUR BOSS WAS BLACK HE WOULD BE OPTI-COMMITS CRIME!". Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:54:47 No.30741736 1592842282815.png (165 KB, 453x433) google yandex iqdb wait >>30741582 >IF OUR BOSS WAS BLACK HE WOULD BE OPTI-COMMITS CRIME ■ Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)10:00:28 No.30741876 ✓ 1528845895339.png (32 KB, 128x128) google yandex iqdb wait ■ Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:44:12 No.30741439 ✓ >>30741582 >>30741395 please elaborate on this racist transformer dream >>30741582 >"IF OUR BOSS WAS BLACK HE WOULD BE OPTI-COMMITS CRIME!". Jesus ass r----- christ. ■ Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)10:29:31 No.30742566 ✓ KUSA.jpg (98 KB, 1280x720) google yandex igdb wait >>30741582 I'm f------ crying, TOP KEK Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:55:12 No.30741747 ✓ 1607915771865.png (107 KB, 266x204) google yandex igdb Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:53:38 No.30741700 ✓ 1605766153723.jpg (93 KB, 403x381) google yandex iqdb wait >>30741582 holy f------ kek ■ Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)10:01:43 No.30741903 ✓ 1592000241568.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) google yandex igdb wa 90 >>30741582 Holy based brother -hh ■ Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)10:31:34 No.30742613 ✓ mio0000000.png (197 KB, 323x429) google yandex iqdb wai >>30741582 Holy f--- my sides >>30741582 >OPTI-COMMITS CRIME! Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:56:57 No.30741799 ✓ pure kino.png (160 KB, 702x518) google yandex iqdb wait Kino >>30741582 This is actually a legendary post thank you anon Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)09:59:24 No.30741853 >>30741905 >>30741582 Put me in the screenshot peko Anonymous 15/12/20(Tue)10:31:22 No.30742607 >>30741582 pust me in the screencap

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Anon is a psycho | /r/Greentext

01/16/23(Mon)16:51:40 No.179320438 : Anonymous >>179317908 (OP) # >hiking in the Olympic National Rainforest >by myself >haven't seen anyone for hours >turn around a bend in the trail >see another guy a few strides ahead of me >we smile and nod to each other as we pass >he's alone too >turn around and pull out my pistol >shoot him in the back of the head >wait almost 5 minutes just staring at his body >drag him off the trail about a hundred yards down a small ravine >get back on the trail >walk to my car >drive home >never hear about a person who had gone missing on the trail that day I don't think he's ever been found to this day. >>179324799 # >>179327321 #

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NEET Anon meets “real life lolis” | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/23(Mon)12:53:08 No.892323753 26 KB JPG I f----- up bros >friend convinces me to go to an indoor pool place because "no one will be there in the winter" >its packed >past 6 years of NEETing have done a number on my social abilities so really self conscious around crowds and girls >complain to my friend while anxiously scanning the building >too many girls >cant help but notice the absurd bikinis parents have their kids wearing these days >literally every single one >seeing real life lolis like this complete catches me off guard >while we are standing there two lolis walk right in front of us with their entire asses hanging out >before I even knew what I was doing I say "oh my god" out loud while staring directly at their butts >i can feel my friend look at me and I just randomly pick up my foot and say I stubbed my toe even though I wasnt moving >he doesnt say anything for like 20 seconds and asks if we should just go >I say yes >go back to his car and he drives me home >I bring up that my toe really hurts from stubbing it at the pool >he just doesnt say anything again and changes the topic How badly did I f--- up? Does he just know what I am now? Can I never talk to him again? I feel like I just ruined my life even though nothing really dramatic even happened 8 Replies View Thread

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It's time to break out the turbo vibrator 9000 | /r/Greentext

11/09/21(Tue)12:11:33 No.66089993 >gf cant c-- >she tells me nobody is able to make her c-- not even herself >havent had sex yet but have done other things >my technique is good I focus a lot on the clit and whatnot but what she always likes best is the fingering "come here" motion thing >it always builds easily, shes enjoying the s--- out of it and soon shes grabbing my hair and moaning loudly and curling her toes : Anonymous 41 KB PNG >but she just doesnt c--, the build up always just fades away and we start over again >she doesnt know why but shes just never been able to c-- >described it as "theres a build up and it's really good but theres no release it just never happens" Have any femanons out there had this problem? How did you fix it? Can you still maintain a good relationship even knowing I'm not man enough to make her finish?

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Anon's dad tries to cheer him up | /r/Greentext

File: Odab7e36bfa1481445b358447(...).jpg (179 KB, 1455x2048) Anonymous 01/16/23 (Mon)15:59:25 No.71851527 >>71851866 >>71853342 >nap together with the kittens cause feel to bleh to do anything else >dad gets back home >talks to me and asks me why im still sleeping >tell him I feel depressed >tells me that is making him sad >makes me feel guilty but idk how to fight it >asks me to watch a movie with him >get out of bed to do so >feed the kittens >we eat infront of the tv while watching some movie >he falls asleep >put a blanket over him time for a ciggy I wish I could stop being a downer so often and be more productive

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Anon escapes near movie experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 179317908 43.9 kB JPG 25 REPLIES 7 hr ago ... ITT: Real life experiences straight out of the movies >Riding the escalator at the mall. >Leaning over to look at the Christmas decorations. >Turn back and there is a dude in the same step as me, leaning over my shoulder. >He says "hey", I say it back. >"You're not a f-----, are you?" He asks. I say "no." >"Good. F--- those guys, am I right? Where are you going?" >Say "nowhere" and move off once we reach the floor. >He starts following me. >"You're going somewhere, nobody comes here for no reason. Where are you going?" >"Nowhere, man, I'm just hanging out." >Yells "DON'T LIE TO ME" and grabs my arm. >"Ok, I'm going to work" and enter the first store I see a clothing store. >"Are you sure you're not f-----?" >Ignore him, go in, kill some time in the back of the store. >Peek over at the front, he's still there, waiting for me. >Talk to an actual employee, he let's me sneak out in the back and call security. >The dude senses something is wrong and vanishes. >Decide to leave, but as I reach the door a voice fills the air. >"COME BACK HERE, F-----" >It's the dude, sprinting towards me while holding a metal trash bin. >Bolt out of there straight into a bus. >The dude chases after the bus, but can't keep up, so he throws the metal can at it. >Last thing I see before the bus turns the corner is mall security tackling the guy. From what I've later heard, he was high on drugs and got arrested for causing a disturbance. 27 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon tries to look on the bright side. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)21:55:30 No.71855352 74 KB JPG >be born a twink >smallish d--- around 6 inches >become gay because of experiences in middle school yeah now i want big a---- muscular men to dominate me sadly we dont have that in my state just fat retards and methheads 01/16/23(Mon)22:12:47 No.71855489 : Anonymous >>71855352 (OP) # Could be worse anon, you couldve been born fat

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