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01/08/23(Sun)04:21:34 No.892244717 Anonymous >be me >This is 2006 I'm 32 now >Labor Day party >Moms friend drunk >Come home from other friend's house >In room changing >Moms friend comes in visibly wasted >Says she thought was the bathroom >Totally naked >Says how old are you now? >Too shocked, surprised to react >She tells me to relax and then starts to play with my balls >starts to suck me off >Mid b------ asks if I've ever had a b------ >Nope (not true, don't know why I lied) >Gets very forceful and pushes me into my dresser >Starts saying s--- like "I'm not leaving till you c--" >"I'm going to make you c--" >Do c--, she swallows >She says don't tell anyone then leaves >See her off and on for next three years but never bring it up >At the time think "She's cool so I don't want her to get in trouble" idk >Her husband was serially cheating on her so I probably could have f----- around longer but didn't >No regrets tho

Anon makes a confession | /r/Greentext


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Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau to resign as Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudover... 466 KB PNG 01/05/25(Sun) 23:25:58 No.493452575 >Goes into office and Inherits a generous surplus from the conservative party >Squanders it all and ends up collecting more debt than all other PM combined >Lets food prices shoot through the roof, to the point Canadians are keeling over from scurvy (yes the pirate disease) >Exiles hobo towns and closes roads for a Taylor Swift concert >Doesnt do the same for a veterans parade >Allows swarms of jeets destroy the job market. >Provides incentives to jobs if they hire foreign jeets but not for Canadian citizens >Decides to throw all the blame on to his subordinates >They all resign and tell him to eat s--- >Does nothing and hides in his office for the holidays >Eventually rage quits after everyone calls for his resignation. Canacucks... I thought we had it bad.
Anonymous 37 KB JPG >be me 08/25/21(Wed)23:12:04 No.861801953 >22 and poor in college >deliver food for a restaurant for a few months >sometimes people order takeout but don't pick it up >if it happens late enough in my shift I get to take it home with me >always ate the best those nights since it was free >be me now, 35+ >started calling corporate restaurants and ordering takeout about a half hour before close >always spoof the caller ID to show up as my ex wife >been doing it for about 3 years >never pick it up >gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing i gave some young person a free meal and also my ex gets black listed from every restaurant in town
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Uploaded Jan 08, 2023 at 09:24AM EST

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Greentext Stories

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