Uneasy listening | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG 12/28/22(Wed) 20:20:06 No.114254506 >spotify displayed as status on discord >most popular song from the album starts playing >have to skip it because if people see me listening to it they'd think I was a casual

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon shares a spooky story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/28/22(Wed)20:53:51 No.33711055 >wasn't a believer in ghosts >had a neighbor who was very spiritual tell me a dark spirit follows me >I thought it was religious b------- and brushed it off to her being a looney >ffw to a few years later >I was in bed with my gf fast asleep >we both woke up staring at eachother >saw these black things like strips of cloth hanging down moving around >I turn over and see what looks like the grim reaper on my ceiling >black cloaked figure >it's clothes are alive, I don't know how to explain it but I could tell every part of this thing had living energy >his robe was moving on its own >he's leaning down with his back on the ceiling facing me looks like he pushing himself down >no face that I can see just blackness >looked kinda like pic related >my body freezes and I can do nothing but scream like an automatic fear response >my girlfriend says oh my god what the f--- is that and starts screaming too while hiding under the blankets >we close our eyes and beg it to go away >open them a minute later and it's f------ gone >it's been years since I've seen this thing and I constantly think about it >the fact we both saw this thing scares me the most

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Anon’s revenge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)12:52:18 No.43637642 980 KB GIF >Ex broke up with me after dating for a year last month >Something about us 'Not being compatible', aka code speak for she's f------ chad behind my back >I'm f------ p----- >Devise a perfect plan to make her jealous and get her back >Live in LA, gym is full of twinks and other f--- >I'm a pretty big guy so they're easy to pick up >Take them home, make them wear girl clothes and f--- them silly >Take a picture every time when their d--- is out of the shot and send it to my ex >She thinks I'm f------ 2 different girls every week >This continues for about a month, until she approaches me, and asks if we want to get back together >Tell her to f--- off and go back to being a w---- I'm not even gay but I think I've devised the world's best revenge method.

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Anon doesn't like iphones | /r/Greentext

Dear Android Lusers: Welcome to 2008! iOS vs Android (iPhone OS 2.0 -2008) Adaptive Brightness (Android L-2014) (iOS 4-2010) Phone Rotation Lock Quick Access (Android L - 2014) (ios 5-2011) Lockscreen Notifications (Android L - 2014) (iOS 6-2012) Do Not Disturb (Android L-2014) (iOS 7-2013) 64-bit Support (Android L-2014) This is not just about Android L (iOS 5-2011) Wireless screen mirroring - AirPlay / Miracast (Android 4.2-2012) (iOS 5-2011) Bluetooth Low Energy (Android 4.3 - Jul 2011) (iOS 5-Jun 2011) Camera Lockscreen Shortcut (Android 4.0 - Oct 2011) (iPhone OS - 2007) Pinch to zoom (Android 1.6-2008) Enjoy Android L (if it ever comes to your phone)! In fact, touchscreen phones wouldn't have been the way they are today, had it not been for the iPhone. So STFU. Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)15:18:18 No.90572321 ► >>90572507 Is this what itards actually think? Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)15:19:33 No.90572338 no, iphones live rent free in the heads of poorfags. Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)15:30:55 No.90572507 >>90572321 (OP) most of them couldn't even spell these words correctly, let alone make a comparison chart Burn. PriceBaba.com

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Anon loves a girl. | /r/Greentext

File: 1358598745671.jpg (67 KB, 800x600, For4Chan01.jpg) TEQUINT >Be crushin on same girl for all my life >Knew her since kindergarten >Her parents are poor and live in a one bedroom with four kids so they don't care she sleeps over most nights >Hang out almost everyday for years >All our friends joke about us getting married one day >She knows I'm into her and she says she feels same way but "doesn't want to label it >Get her to make out but really not much more >Says she likes me too much and is afraid we'll go all the way if we do anything more >Resigned to being a virgin til I eventually marry this girl >Both of us mainly hang out with two other guys (lets call Eric and Dave) >Mainly consists of playing Halo at my house >Sometimes smoke weed when Eric can get it >Talk about parties but never get t invited >Eric starts hanging out with his oldfag cousin sometimes >Make fun of him for hanging out with 37 year old >Says cousin buys beer and lets him s >wellwhydidntyousaysointhefirst place. jpg >Start going to his cousins place to drink and play halo once a week when his wife and kids are gone visiting wife's parents >He buys the beer, has food, videogames, not bad situation Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat) 07:32:25 No.452153060 Replies: >>452153414 >>452153772 >>452154186 >>452157264 >>452157960 >>452161987 >>452162321 >>452162418 >>452162608 >>452163065 >>452163220 >>452163858 >He can have a pretty annoying bossy attitude and thinks hes the king of our weekly hangs but whatever >Start bringing the pseudo-gf to these things >Cousin is always eyeing the f--- out of her but she's used to being the only girl at our hangs so whatever Continued What to do /b/? I've been in love with the same girl for basically all my life but the situation is all f----- up now and I don't know how to stop f------ caring about her. Pic related, it's her I lets him smoke at his place >> Anonymous (ID: YiLxdjUe) 01/19/13(Sat)07:36:20 No.452153414 >>452153060 (OP) >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)07:50:03 No.452154764 Replies: >>452155342 >>452162321 >>452162508 >>452163698 File: 1358599803376.jpg (68 KB, 800x600, For4Chan02.jpg) Sorry I suck at typing. >mfw when she says "Oh he's more like my best friend than anything" >seething anger when he says "Man you gotta lock that s--- down bro, she's banging >Only really see this cousinfag once a week and she still sleeps over all the time so thinking whatever nothing will come of it >I keep telling her he's an a------ >She agrees but tells me "you know me, I don't even know how to be rude" >Besides not like we can really stop going, ritual is pretty ingrained at this point >Eventually start combining Halo and drinking, halo drinking games >We're retards we didn't think of this sooner >Old cousinfag instates random different rules all the time >Even though this cousinfag knows that this girl should be off limits he is always f------ hitting on her >Worst part is she doesn't seem to mind >One day he asks her why it doesn't say I'm her boyfriend on facebook >House rules of doesn't really play, he sometimes has rules involving her says >Since pseudo-gf Fo >She has to get the beers if theres a multikill, s--- like that >One day he proposes she has to sit on lap of the guy who wins for the next game >Randomly this oldfag is the best of us so rule is obviously for him 2 >I start to say, "Dude I don't think she wants. >When at the same time she laughs and says "You boys.. implying okay >Feel like a huge f----- for being too protective, get red and just go with it >She spends the majority of the next couple of hours on his lap >Raging as we go home, get in a fight with her, make up as we always do continued >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)07:51:26 No.452154902 also harder than i thought for me to relive all this s--- so sorry for the slow pace, i'll try to be faster to www vany umm >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:01:19 No.452155892 Replies: >>452156101 >>452156116 >>452156329 >>452156350 >>452156363 >>452156429 >>452162321 >S--- continues like this for the next few times >Mostly lap sitting >Sometimes they get her to do a joke sexy dance >Nothing I can get publically too mad about >My uncle has a wedding on the same day one of these hangs happens >Ask her not to go >She says "she probably won't >Ask her again, basically begging this time >She says she'll try to get out of it but that the guys are pushy and she's bad at saying no >Both true statements, but I get mad at her telling her to have a spine >Get in a fight again >Don't have time to make up before leaving for wedding >ihaveareallybadfeeling.jpg >Fidgeting entire weekend >Text with her on ride back with the parents, she says to call her once I get back, by the tone I know she feels guilty >ohfuck. png >Turns out she had gotten too drunk and they incorporated stripping into the game, cousin, Eric and Dave all saw her completely naked >Whattheflyingfuck.jpg >get in another fight >mfw i realize that they've gotten more sexual pleasure out of her than me at this point >think its basically over, have to find a new social life >>452155892 also flore pics please >she calls me really late and comes over > cries apologizing, says she has a really big problem saying no and will try to fix it >forgive her and go to bed cuddling continued >> Anonymous (ID: PVdqgKy3) 01/19/13(Sat)08:03:30 No.452156101 >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:11:55 No.452156963 Replies: >>452157229 >>452157609 >>452162321 >Really awkward with Eric and Dave the next time I see them >Don't really address it for a while but eventually we have an awkward apology talk since I'm clearly p----- >She stops going to the cousinfags for a while >Start taking 2 >Eventually starts going again > to repair all our broken friendships" she says >Things slowly but surely evolve back to where they were >I know I gotta put a stop to this >Realize booze is really is really the main difference between my place and oldfags taking booze out of parents cabinet when we play halo at my place >Didn't really know what the f--- I was thinking since we still went to cousinfags as much as we used to >Eventually parents find out grades also been been going down also >Combination gets them megapissed >Pseudo-gf can't sleep over and I can't go out for a week >pseudo-gf and I fight over this can't even remember why the f--- we did >Get text couple of days later from cousinfag telling us he has the place to himself so to come over >no0000000000000000.jpg get caught >Try to sneak out out but >Frantically try to call her but she's still p-----, not picking up >Next day still no contact, weekend so don't see her at school >whatthefuckwhatthefuckingfuck.jpg >freak the f--- out, basically having emotional breakdown continued >> Anonymous (ID: 1n00t0ik) 01/19/13(Sat)08:11:59 No.452156969 Hurry the f--- up op >> Anonymous (ID: YSFAhA2+) 01/19/13(Sat)08:20:31 No.452157818 >>452157730 I want to believe OP wouldn't do that. >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:22:01 No.452157949 Replies: >>452158091 >>452158459 >>452158483 >>452158492 >>452158501 >>452158745 >>452162321 File: 1358601721575.jpg-(56 KB, 800x598, For4Chan03.jpg) >see her at school when Monday finally f------ comes >she avoids me all day >she leaves before I can track her down afterschool >text her a zillion times, tell her grounding is over and I really want to talk to her, if its over she can at least tell me >find Eric and Dave, too freaked out to be subtle ask them what the f--- happened >really f------ f------ awkward but basically tell me that they played strip halo again >Eric quickly leaves but Dave tells me later that Eric and cousin f-- were feeling her up while she was half passed out >says hes sorry and he tried to stop it >have no one else to be mad at so flip out at dave >>452162616 >eventually she texts me back eventually saying "you're acting like there's something to end >get this in front of dave and start crying, run away >so f------ ombor embarrassed to even remember this f------ s--- over >thinking life >she comes over that night, no text no call no nothing >is sobbing at the door >don't even know how to be mad at her >I tell her its okay, I heard what happened and I forgive you >she just keeps crying and we go to bed continued Anonymous (ID: qwj4zea5) 01/19/13(Sat)08:22:11 No.452157960 Replies: >>452158646 >>452159762 >>452153060 (OP) I don't doubt OP is beta, but those two can't be the only parameters. I don't want to be either of them. >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:32:22 No.452158975 Replies: >>452159150 >>452159216 >>452159237 >>452159303 sorry I'm so slow, recanting is really affecting me >middle of the night, she randomly says "I love you" >unexpectedbestmomentomylife.jpg >don't even hesitate, say "I love you too" >"no matter what?" she says > say of course >asking no matter what continues for a while >eventually get bad feeling 33 >I don't even have to ask but I do >she tells me that she had no where to go once my parents didn't let me have her over >that she hated staying at her house and how I knew how much she hated her parents >eventually admits she was telling oldfag this by text on her way home Friday night (when stripping happened) >he tells her his house is free until Monday, invites her to stay over >I am shaking while she tells me this >The way she was acting all clicks and makes sense in my mind >Never had a moment of clarity like this >She tells me they went all the way >Not even sure why I asked the details but I had to >how many times? >she says I don't know a billion times and then settles down on five did you enjoy it? >she says >what positions? >missionary and doggy >condom? no but I press her and she says she orgasmed >pause, no >we're both crying this entire time >still in state of shock in the morning, get morning after pill though at least continued VI Line Utlacila is itallieu now, I wis Construcny mis orcitivni pupper operam dauntunity in a stat >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:46:24 No.452160373 Replies: >>452160525 >>452160559 >>452160612 >>452160617 >>452160628 >>452160654 >>452160657 >>452160685 >>452160689 >>452160701 >>452160703 >>452160713 >>452160718 >>452160721 >>452160779 >>452160801 >>452160890 >>452160943 >>452160950 >>452161031 >>452161065 >>452161086 >>452161274 >>452161301 >>452161327 >>452161384 >>452161465 >>452161486 >>452161770 >>452162138 >>452162321 >>452162589 >>452162670 >>452162862 >>452162975 >>452163457 >>452163786 >We're still really weird the next few days but I'm still oddly positive >She says I love you all the time from never saying it at all >actually go facebook official >everyone at school has heard about what happened but I don't give a s--- >hold hands everywhere, we tell each other as long as we have each other it'll be okay >Finally catch up to yesterday >Get a text from oldfag saying to come over >Almost laugh that he thinks we're still going Spiter >After school look for real-gf now S >see her with Eric and Dave O >Still p----- at Eric, so already in bad mood MEW TH >MFW They say they are on way over to cousinfags >I don't even know what to say >I say I'm not going >when it's clear they are going to go with or without me I go with them >just play halo and drink for a while >so mad but don't even know what to do >sense of awkwardness even worse >feel like I'm not even in the room >try to get her to go home multiple times, eric and cousin convince her to stay >end up watching >she's on my lap the entire time with my arms around her hing Prometheus home at this point >dave has gone >make the mistake of getting up to get a beer >when I'm back she's on oldfags lap > ask her if she's okay >she >she says yes >halfway through oldfag and her start kissing >eric goes "dude chill out" >mfw when she says, "don't worry he knows™ >I tell her that I'm leaving >She says she's going to stay This was last night and I haven't talked to her since

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Socratic method | /r/Greentext

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Anon meets Chris Brown | /r/Greentext

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Anon gets a nightmare straight from a creepypasta | /r/Greentext

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Anon becomes gay. | /r/Greentext

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average popular greentext in r/greentext moment: | /r/Greentext

r/greentext • 20h [Removed by Reddit] [Removed by reddit on account of violating the content policy.] 9987 - 19h Anon smells his father's d--- 18h 206 : Most straight 4chan user Reply s Share 3.2k 801

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Anon discovers a conspiracy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 112 KB JPG 12/28/22(Wed)17:20:15 No.891568658 >if you like d--- you're gay >women like d--- therefore they are gay >wanting sex with gays is gay >you want to have sex with women >therefore you are gay The jews got you all, fagits

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Harry got in trouble again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/22(Thu)02:58:56 No.178450538 calmly.jpg 111 KB JPG >HARRY DID YOU JUST WRITE ALL LIVES MATTERS IN THE FIRST FLOOR GIRLS LAVATORY? >JESUS CHRIST HARRY HALF OF HUFFLEPUFF WERE DUE TO DO THEIR GENDER CONFIRMATION IN THAT BATHROOM THAT NIGHT >THEY'RE ALL SWINGING FROM THE WOMPING WILLOWS HARRY, THE MINISTRIES SO FAR UP MY ASS THEY CHECKED MY GALL BLADDER FOR CYSTS >50 POINTS, THATS THE MOST I CAN AWARD GRIFFINDOR >He said calmly >>178455849 # >>178466514 # >>178466668 # >>178468840 #

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shitpost or post shit | /r/Greentext

190 KB PNG >be me >or not be me : Anonymous : Anonymous >>886783083 (OP) # to kys or to kys on stream 10/05/22(Wed)00:34 10/05/22(Wed)00:38 >>886783083 (OP) # Lurk many, post few

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Know Your Meme

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