Anon is on a streak of bad luck | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 27509_700b.jpg (70 KB, 700x442) you stuck : Anonymous 12/18/22 (Sun)18:19:34 No.71446566 [Reply] ► >>71446913 >go to social gatherings (family events, work parties etc.) >meet some girl >instantly fall in love with her >chat with her, all is going good >leave eachother in good terms as a new friendship (obviously not autistic enough to express any romantic thoughts on first meet but my c--- calls for duty) >go home full of joy, feel like looksmaxxing, improving myself (kinda horny too ngl) >find her instagram at home using some basic detective skills >she has a f------ boyfriend >every single time >all hopes shattered >masturbate furiously to get the edge off and lose all desire to improve >rinse and repeat, back to another social gathering How do you escape this cycle? Ha Anonymous 12/18/22(Sun)18:54:15 No.71446913 ► >>71446934 >>71447015 >>71446566 (OP) You meet chicks at family reunions? Anonymous 12/18/22(Sun)18:56:11 No.71446934 ► File: 1669772747046324.jpg (292 KB, 1447x1437) >>71446913 >Hello mom, heard you got divorced, wanna go out?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon sends a picture | /r/Greentext

.png (59 KB, 658x662) No.43232832 Anonymous 19 min. ago >send d--- pic to qt3.14 >she calls me a sicko and blocks me >oh well i'm used to it >next day cops at my door >she reported me to the police for distributing CP >they show me the pic i sent her >i tell them it's my c--- >they don't believe me >i have to pull down my pants >they give each other a sad look and apologize for bothering me

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Anon struggles with other zoomers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: mxw80K9X) + 12/18/22(Sun)17:54:11 No.408761507 ► Greentext coming up f------ >Be me >18 (soon 19) Zoomer >Wageslave in convenience store part time >Have to manage younger zoomes from the age of 14 and up, and make sure they are not f------ up the store >Part of my job involves training them >When something is overcharged and the costuer complaints, you have to give the price difference of the overcharged price versus the actual price back. >The way you do that is to minus out the overcharged price, then add the right price for a negative total equal to the overcharge price difference >Tell that to the new zoomers >My words fall of black eyes >Every f------ time >90% of (especially the after 2005 ones) don't understand >They are simply not capable of understanding how positive and negative numbers interact The zoomettes are even worse >Be me >Train a zomette >Cute chubby brunette >She doesn't understand that typing 3×(item number) is the same as physically typing the item number 3 times >Try to tell her in any way possible >Doesn't understand >End up grabbing 3 apples >Upt them on the counter one by one, then ask her how many there are >"3" she says >Then put up all three at one >Ask again >"3" >She finally understood. Another problem with zoomggers is (as OPgger said) ther utter lack of social skills I have to tell them and teach them to hold eye contact with costumers, talk loud enough to be heard and how to do basic small talk.

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Anon is unforgettable | /r/Greentext

File: 9f5.jpg (62 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 09/20/20(Sun)16:27:12 No.836366234 > be me > hanging at mcdonalds > see two gorls sitting near by > 8/10 and 6/10 respectively > 8/10 gets up to go to the bathroom > showtime.jpg > get up from my seat and lock eyes with 6/10 > approach her head on and sit down in her friend's seat > start rapidly shovelling 8/10's fries into my mouth > 6/10 is too shocked to do anything > when all the fries are gone I go back to my seat and resume eating my meal > 8/10 comes back and sees her fries are gone, starts yelling at her friend > you bitch why did you eat all my fries > it wasn't me it was that guy! She points at me > her friend just straight up doesn't believe her > accuses her of lying and walks out of the restaurant > 6/10 still sitting there, staring at me dumbfounded > casually finish eating my meal and leave > know she'll remember me for rest of her life > mfw girls think I'm unforgettable

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Anon's got holes in his shoes. | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (233 KB, 500x360) IT'S THE KIND OF TIRED THAT SLEEP WONT FIX Anonymous 12/18/22(Sun)02:17:57 No.71440005 >>71440025 >>71440148 >>71440236 >>71440400 >>71440570 >Me >30 year old virgin >Go to parents house every Saturday for dinner >Mom is insane OCD schizo, been that way her whole life. >Hates my dad's side of the family >Holidays always suck every year >In the car going to get food >Brings up my dad's mother >Argument starts over f------ nothing >Ruins the entire mood/atmosphere >Get home to eat >Awkward dinner >Dad doesn't say a word >Mom talks to me even though I don't want to talk >After dinner she sees my shoes >"ANON ANONININGTON! YOUR SHOES HAVE HOLES IN THEM? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? JESUS, YOU'RE 30 AND WEARING RAGGEDY SHOES!" >Just calmly look at her like she's crazy >Tell her they're a bit worn but they're comfortable and still wearable >OH MY GOD YOU ARE 30 YEARS OLD, I GUESS YOU REALLY DON'T WANT A GIRLFRIEND WITH SHOES LIKE THAT?!? WHY WON'T YOU TALK PRIDE IN YOUR APPEARANCE! MOST MEN YOUR AGE ARE MARRIED, MAKING LOTS OF MONEY, HAVE KIDS, DOING THINGS WITH THEIR LIFE! >We have had this argument/conversation several times in the past so it was nothing new >She has some strange perception that all men in their late 20's and early 30's are married with kids and making a lot of money for some reason >She doesn't like that I'm still into anime >She never liked anime, thought I'd grow out of it >Tell her I'll go buy new shoes tomorrow but she won't like them because she hates everything I buy/wear because she hates my taste. >She wants me to be wearing expensive designer stuff >Decide to be a smartass and ask her what kind of shoes I should buy, how much should they cost? >I DON'T KNOW! JUST ONES THAT DON'T HAVE HOLES IN THEM! >Should I get designer loafers? Should they be $200? Would that make you happy?" >YOU CAN'T WEAR LOAFERS! THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU BUY! >Oh right, I don't have the big high powered office job that all 30 year old men have making $80,000 a year, right? So I can't wear loafers to my job, or a suit. I just had to vent/rant about it because she ruined my night, always does.

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Imagine thinking humanity is going to last more than a few more generations | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous No image available 3 KB PNG 10/14/21(Thu)09:46:51 No.65757750 >everything you can do can be done better by someone else >a century or less from now, no one will remember your name, what you looked like, what you did >you are only here to make up numbers >across the expanse of the future, billions of people are lined up to replace you >your time will soon be up >the gears keep turning 2 Replies : Anonymous View Thread 10/14/21(Thu)09:47:59 No.65757760 : Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)09:49:17 No.65757769 >>65757750 (OP) # Welcome to the human condition since time immemorial. Stop being such a wanker.

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anon saves a life | /r/Greentext

Ceci n'est pas une pep Anonymous No.627025189 16 minutes ago Got a story for ya. I'm not good at writing so bear with me. >A girl I knew in school was a total attention w----. >Never arrived to class on time and always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much but I did have a few conversations with her >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them, she wore t shirts so she never hid them >I asked her why she was hurting herself like that >She said "No one loves me and my life is painful" etc etc >"No one loves you?" What about your parents or your boyfriend? >Answer she gave me was something like "They don't really love me" or some s--- >Made a point not to interact with her too much after that, because she's an attention w---- >End of the school year she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday >I'm not good with these situations so I couldn't say no even though I didn't like her >Sunday came and we went to the top of one of those tower car parks >Just as we got to the top she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness to her suicide >Oh s---, I thought, she was going to jump and she was going to force me to watch >Had I known she was going to do this s--- I would never have gone with her >Not watching unless you do a flip, I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid >Complete shock was written all over her face. She had thought I'd try to stop her >Ehh?! A-aren't you going to try to stop me? >Nah, go ahead. If you really wanted to live you'd stop yourself. >After a while she got down off the edge She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who and I told her to read the first letter of every line. 3 replies

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anon on france football team | /r/Greentext

>it's not going well RA >send in MORE africans 37 KB JPG

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anon didn't choose variant C | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/22(Sun)12:19:18 No.71444891 >asked to choose between variants A and B >chooses completely unrelated to the topic variant C just to piss off others >"haha, I'm not like the other dumb normalfags I'm le independent free thinker" Why are contrarian underage f------ like this? 111 KB PNG

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Anon discovers a life hack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 121 KB JPG 12/18/22(Sun)11:12:38 No.71449240 >get infatuated with random girl >music starts to sound 10x better >never ask girl out >lose infatuation after 6 months >look for a new girl >repeat

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Anon debunks schizophrenia | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 113 KB JPG 1 Reply 12/18/22(Sun)09:19:55 No.33633107 >go to clinic for schizophrenia >it's all f------ women, staff and patients Does this prove schizophrenia isn't real and is just external entities feeding off the weak? View Thread fellow person >>33633107 (OP) # schizophrenia is caused by time travelling demons, see cold fusion 12/18/22(Sun)09:46:19 No.33633259

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Anon meets the Archangel Michael | /r/Greentext

50 KB JPG Excuse my bad english >be me (ex since yesterday) atheist >Research about archangel Michael alone in my room >the room gets cold and i feel goosebumps trough my body >He appears >I can somehow dream the Archangel with my open eyes. I see Him above me surounded by light and stars and nebulas >I can't describe his beauty, the light, the strenght, the power and the glory that He emited. >I feelt ashamed somehow, not worthy of his presence. I feelt like dirt compared to Him >His wearings where of the deepest blue, Wavy ,,hair,, of golden ligh on his head, eyes of the same blue as the clothes, skin of the purest white (everything white around me looks yellow now after i saw Him), subtle nuances of rose in his cheeks. My words can't do Him justice, i can't describe what nuances and proportions i saw. I can't imagine a being more beautiful and perfect. >He didn't talk to me, but the cold turned into a pleasant chill, i feelt warmth and ease in my chest and my eyes got filled with tears. I feelt protected, i feelt loved, i feelt forgived, i feelt a hope that i had never feelt before. The most pleasant of feelings radiated trough my body, making my legs shake with every wave. I was crying my eyes out the whole time. >He dissapeared slowly, but the good feelings remained long after > I was in a dark place before that, but now i feel healed and i have hope. I love the Archangel Michael

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Anon avoids jail | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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