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Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone 72 KB PNG >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is since we're pretty close nor >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >I pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Luckiest anon out there | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.8 MB JPG 09/10/21 (Fri)22:28:24 No.65334978 >be introverted >coworker talks with me >ask her out >get home and cant get her out of my head >dont want to be friendzoned >text her i want to f--- her >she asks what i mean >tell her exactly what i want >silence for 48 hours >tell her ill go back to being quiet and apologize >she wants to go out some more >says that sort of thing feels better when it just happens can someone decode this for me? 09/10/21 (Fri)22:29:34 No.65334990 : Anonymous >>65334978 (OP) # She is willing to overlook your retarded autistic episode to go on a date with you.

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Anon is an expert at bullying | /r/Greentext

They're disgusting! They don't even consider SUNNY's feelings.......! Do DaHmm Myehn Moreover, he reads only books, has a dark personality and a slender body hahaha. Class 2.png 1.76 MB PNG SUNNY... >>409718174 # He knows they're gonna bully him SUNNY really doesn't live up to his name, isn't he? He's trying to be funny, isn't he? His voice is too small >>409718798 # >>409718824 # >>409719397 # >>409721870 # Anonymous 12/05/22(Mon) 08:31:04 No.409718798 >>409718592 # Why are asians awful at doing bullying scenes? I can never take any of them seriously, I can't believe anyone would bully someone so pathetically like this and someone would feel bullied by these "offenses".

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Anon is a consumer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/22(Thu)22:09:27 No.177434147 ► >>177434198 >>177436196 >>177436207 File: hotsoy318.jpg (385 KB, 1080x1309) >>177434085 # >oh, waitress! *snaps fingers* come here, my poppet, I've decided on what I shall dine upon today. >May I have the BEARDY MCBEARDMAN MEGA BEEFY QUADRUPLE BEEF BEER BACON N BOURBON BURGER WITH 3000 MONTH PINK HIMALAYAN SALT CAVE AGED CRUELTY FREE SLAVERY FREE NON GMO FARM TO TABLE CIGAR SMOKED GOUDA >Oh, and of COURSE! My apologies for not realizing that the hot sauce menu was a subset of the MAIN menu (albeit a separate pamphlet detailing the intricacies of each sauce, as well as pairing suggestions, would be a welcome addition (pass that along to your sauce monger)). I shall sample your in- house BEELZEBUTT'S 7,000,000 SCOVILLE HEMORRHOID HOLOCAUST NUCLEAR A--- LEAKAGE XXXXXX FECAL FURY SAUCE; and, my sweet, mayhaps a bottle of it to go? Though I am yet to taste it, I am sure that my buddies at the barcade - yes, a portmanteau of 'bar' and 'arcade, and YES, you can actually DRINK as you PLAY VIDEO GAMES, whatever will they think of next? - will be utterly TICKLED by the label your crew has concocted for that bottle! *taps glass* >and another round of your hoppiest IPA, please!

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Anon aint chasing whamen | /r/Greentext

12/07/22(Wed)10:46:08 No.71295682 >I refuse to ask out the girl myself, but that's not because im a pussyintel, its because all women want 0.000000001% turbo chad to ride a c--- carousel, so if i asked her out she would reject me because im 5.10 balding and autistic (self diagnosed), and even if she said yes, i would betabuxx while she thinks of chad, not because im chadsexual or insecure, but because women are just like that trust me i know first hand! All they want is chad and his juicy c---, they don't care about anything else! And if she wants me, shes gotta make the first move! And i want a real women not a w----! 4 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 8 KB JPG View Thread Anonymous >>71295682 (OP) # *looks in the mirror* Yeah I'm not asking anyone out. 12/07/22(Wed)10:47:51 No.71295696

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Femanon wants to meet a man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 52 KB JPG 12/06/22(Tue)21:52:16 No.71292680 >33 year old fembot >met a guy and we hit it off but he ghosted me after some hot girl in WOW talked to him >feelslikeshit.jpg >looking for a tall white skelly bf who I can take care of :( that looks like picrel >I am a bit on the chubby side but I've been losing weight 20 pounds down so far! >have severe depression tried killing myself a few times >I do well for myself >live on my own >can cook and clean >have stable income honestly I wonder if life is even worth it anymore, I just want to end it all but f--- killing yourself is annoying and tough. >>71292703 # >>71292704 # >>71293539 # >>71293635 #

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Anon smokes a weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Reefer madness 76 KB JPG 12/06/22 (Tue)22:51:33 No.890336172 >be dirty potdrugger >hear coughing gets you higher Idea.bongrip >get The Coof intentionally >cough 10x as hard >don't get any higher, permanently damaged taste F--- you Joe Biden

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Anon doesn’t understand run-offs and grammar | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: d5Pp5QGv) [+] 12/06/22(Tue)21:51:35 No.407376083 >>407373628 (OP) # >elections were weeks ago >still not f------ done counting votes The US are a f------ joke >>407376447 #

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Anon is concerned about the ramifications of his unlimited food cheat code | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/05/22(Mon)21:07:20 No.18662470 If I "dine and dash" but also leave a tip, does it go to the server or the restaurant? Hear me out. I live in SF, and shoplifting under $950 is legal (it's not even a misdemeanor, they literally don't prosecute). Dining and dashing is perfect, because it's just some food, you're not even taking physical goods, and nobody can prove you were even there anyway. The evidence is in your stomach. 68 KB JPG However, I don't care about the restaurant, but it kind of sucks to think that a minimum wage server wouldn't get their tip. If I were to leave a tip on the table but otherwise run out on my bill, would my server be able to keep the tip? Or would the restaurant take it and put it towards the food cost? (I'd assume they can't do that, but just checking.) 12/05/22(Mon)21:08:23 No.18662472 Anonymous >>18662470 (OP) # This is exactly the kind of s--- I'd expect from a californian

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anon mocks incels | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/06/22(Tue)07:16:41 No.71283320 >>71283386 >>71283500 >>71283551 >>71283842 >>71284069 >>71284239 >>71284290 >>71284325 >>71284390 >>71284462 >>71284858 >>71285463 >>71285849 >>71286235 >he's still waiting on the incel revolution where millions of men rise up to revoke women's rights and undo the sexual revolution because they can't get laid/find girlfriends/find wives >he doesn't realize all the men capable of committing organized acts of violence are doing perfectly fine in the dating market and only the losers are lonely >he doesn't realize the vast majority of lonely incels would rather just pay prostitutes and masturbate and cope with video games than risk their life in a civil war

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Anon is epic gamer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 272 KB JPG 12/06/22 (Tue)22:29:23 No.890329110 >be school night >playing ps4 with the loner kid from school >alright man I gotta go >awww dude >yea sorry man >cut out my mic >switch to appear offline mode >play doom eternal till sunrise >show up to school half awake Rip and tear until it's done

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Anon vs Duck | /r/Greentext

File: 858F0667-8276-48A2-B2E6-5(...).jpg (10 KB, 249x202) >it starts trying to bite my hand >I throw the duck Times where being /fit/ came in handy Anonymous 11/29 >>69106435 >>69106444 >be me this weekend >on my 3rd date with this girl >we are having a gainz friendly picnic at a duck pond >while we are eating some duck comes up to us >keeps trying to get into our food >it was funny at first but this duck had no fear >keep trying to shoo it away, doesn't even so much as flinch >pick up a stick and try poking it >it gets angry >suddenly tries to attack me >I pick it up >it flies in the direction I threw it but circles back and starts flying right towards me >I'm gonna end this once and for all >I stand my ground and get ready to punch the duck >its flying right right at me >I threw the cleanest punch I've ever connected in my life >hit the duck square in the chest >it makes the strangest noise I've ever heard >it was like sucker punching a human in the gut, but a high pitched quack comes out >quickly realize what I just did >I didn't go full force but still pretty hard, maybe 50% >the duck stumbles away desperately, I think I knocked the wind out of it >it rushes into the pond and swims off >girl is laughing hysterically at what she just witnessed >I punched a duck

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it's over for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous It's truly over 30 KB JPG >lifelet >>71281173 # : Anonymous 28 KB PNG : Anonymous >>71281120 (OP) # It might truly be over for you anon >>71281217 # 12/06/22(Tue)12:18:28 No.71281120 >facelet >buttlet >body porportionlet >brainlet >hobbylet >interestlet >conversationlet >energylet 12/06/22(Tue)12:25:34 No.71281161 >>71281192 # >>71281193 # 12/06/22(Tue)12:27:06 No.71281173 >>71281161 # i know anon. ill never find a bf and i have zero future but at least i can dream about winning the lottery : Anonymous >>71281120 (OP) # >buttlet Lmao, imagine not clogging the toilet every time you s---, couldn't be me 12/06/22(Tue)12:27:29 No.71281177 12/06/22(Tue)12:30:23 No.71281192 : Anonymous >>71281177 # when i say buttlet i mean i have a hank hill ass

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Greentext Stories - Wholesome greentext | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone 72 KB PNG >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is since we're pretty close nor >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >I pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone

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