Anon is accurate | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally - P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform constant emotional labour for > - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- Anonymous 07/22/20(Wed)23:38:22 No.96910896 So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon Cures the World | /r/Greentext

-1 Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous > Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.

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Anon is "that guy" | /r/Greentext

12/05/22(Mon)14:46:47 No.71268733 >that guy still enjoying flash/shockwave games,animation >that guy still browsing Newgrounds, stickpage >that guy still listening hard trance/handsup >that guy still using CD >that guy still using forum and never use twitter >that guy still watching anime/cartoon on tv instead torrent it : Anonymous 8 KB JPG

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Anon is Dumbledore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dumbledore alamy alamy 216 KB JPG OG 12/05/22(Mon)19:18:12 No.890244205 > be Dumbledore > Have a f------ owl pet like everyone else > It's lame but somehow loving it, owning it for decades now > Very loyal pet > suddenly get random opportunity to get a phoenix pet > unique_charizard.jpg > f--- yeah I'mma catch that mf and make it my epic magic pet > magic world clout all over the place > people be like 'yo dawg f------ rare one you got there, respect and s---' > Other sorcerers be hatin > Realize that damn owl is still around, but stupid magic law says you can only have one pet a time > it's looking with wise and sad eyes, knowing what's gonna happen sad_copperfield.psd > > 'F--- it' > Club that owl down with a massive cauldron > Make dumb students clean the mess for 10 points > Witches want my D.exe

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Joe Rogan learns the truth about skeletons | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20 KB JPG 12/06/22(Tue)18:21:42 No.177585686 >"y'know I always wonder where all this Halloween imagery originated from y'know. Like, the skeletons. I wonder who came up with skeletons and associated them with Halloween since they're SUPER creepy looking and-" >"uh Joe, the skeleton is our bone structure" >"w-what do you mean?" >"well uhh... the human skeleton is what makes up our physical structure alongside our muscles and-" >Joes eyes bulge out of his skull as he leans in clutching his microphone >"no f------ way dude h--------" >historian is looking visibly confused as Joe rocks back and forth in his chair >"Jamie pull up a skeleton and an adult human side by side" >"ooooh s--- I can totally see it look at like the arms and the legs and everything! I bet that's why chimps are so much stronger since we evolved to have one of these whereas they just have muscle"

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anon makes dick jokes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/05/20(Sun)01:46:30 No.824506187 >Be me >19 >work packaging at a meat processing plant >thats right, im a meat packer >put meat in the pockets for sealing >every now and then machine spergs out and displays an error >"error #24" "error #11" for example >never see an "error #1" start making jokes like "error #1: d--- caught in machine" >machine has blades to cut packages >one day we are f------ around too much >one guy gets pushed >falls on one of the blades 311 KB PNG >his face goes white as he gets up >blood all over his stomach and crotch >the machine keeps rolling >before we get a chance to hit the emergency stop we see a bunch of meat chunks roll through >notice the tip of his d--- rolling by >goes through sealer >mfw machine automatically stops >mfw error displayed on screen >mfw "error #1: foreign object in machine"

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Anon is proud of himself | /r/Greentext

41 KB PNG Little story that im proud of >Be me >be born with the curse of anxiety >be like 8, s---'s is a problem so big that my parents can't ignore it >unable to speak to new kids or in front of the class >be 14 >decide to change >force myself to do everything that makes my heart go full speed >be 18, i did it, sorta, i can act calm but still im a nervous wreck >Be me now >studying to be a nurse >have to do a presentation in front of the class about anything for a s--- subject that no ones cares about but it's the last grade of it, so everyone is there. >there's a catch, whoever goes in front, will have a heartbeat monitor on >the day comes, and all girls that goes in front sees their heartbeat and go full panic mode, stuttering and stammering >"Your turn anon" >everyone sees my heartbeat, goes between 120-150 >act so calm during the whole thing >i can actually see the shock faces of ppl whos paying attention and understands what's happening >i get a genuine applauses >teacher congratulates me >i feel so happy but i leave the classroom beacause im still a p---- >next day >girl: "Hey anon, you know this?" >"Yeah, i can explain it", acting cool with my kinda fake cool voice >"Hey anon, are you nervous now?" >".... Yeah" >Smiles at me and chuckles This was yesterday, and kinda felt good that people realized how much effort i put on social stuff and i wanted to share it with someone

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Anons parents get a divorce | /r/Greentext

File: 1299418496.jpg-(23 KB, 399x382, DAD-SON1.jpg) OBⒸAnonymous 03/06/11(Sun)08:34:56 No.314002202 >>had the best dad of the world >>always used to play with me after work, really loved me and my bro >>one day, i came back from elementary school >>mom was all furious and angry and stuff >> i asked what happened and where dad is >>she told me he broke up with her, got another woman and a kid >> didnt understand the world >> dad would never do such a thing >> went to my room, after 5 hours i realised dad would not come back >> was really sad, started crying and stuff >> one month passed, not a single sign from dad >> the next 3 months, sadness changed to anger >> how could he just leave me without even saying goodbye >> years passed, started to forgot about him >> already had a familiy and own childs, loved them really much >> the more i loved my children, the more i could not understand how he could have done that to me >> one day, my aunt called me saying my dad was about to die of cancer >> didn't give a flying f---, he forgot me >> later my wife told me i had to go to visit him >> arrived at hometown hospital >> everybody was there, even my mom for some reason >> everybody was crying, he just died. >> did not shed a single tear >> 3 days later, my mom gave me an f------ huge basket full of letters >>said that it was from my dad to me and she was sorry that she didn't gave them to me >> my heart crushed >> moments of silence, then went banana and hit mom in face and stuff >> later went to dads flat to take things and stuff >> there was no f------ other family >> it was a one-man-flat, one bed >> and in the middle of the living room >> in the middle of the living room >> there was a picture of my brother, my mom and me

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Anon realises importance of life | /r/Greentext

onymous 10/01/21(Fri)16:22:33 No.864183889 >My life sucks, wagecuck work 80 hours. a week. Still no money cause job sucks. >No girlfriend, cause no money and no time to find one >Massively depressed. >I think about killing myself all the time >Try to get up the nerve by watching gore videos. One time spent an hour watching videos of hangings 22 KB JPG >Afterwards I always feel better >Gore sites are my antidepressants >I feel bad for those people, but their ending gets my through the dark times. >I guess I see it, and realize it isn't a solution >Maybe all this s--- is worth it

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Anons discuss how they boil water. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>59999380 >>60000250 >>60000384 itt things americans dont understand Anonymous [05/28/16(Sat)10:30:48 No.59998782► >>59998804 >>59998691 (OP) what? americans don't have that? Do they just skip from poor with nothing to flat out expresso machines or something? A This can't be real 05/28/16(Sat)10:26:44 No.59998691 >>59998782 >>59998980 >> Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:31:53 No.59998804 ► >>59998855 >>59998782 (You) they MICROWAVE water like f------ mongoloids Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:33:59 No.5999885559998877 >>59998959 >>59999048 >>59998804 tell me this is you pulling my chain TE Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:35:07 No.59998877 ► >>59998934 Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:40:14 No.59999021 >>59999046 >>59999085 >>59999116 >>59999126 >>59999161 >>59999194 >>59999245 >>59999356 >>59999429 >>59999477 >>59999795 >>59999896 >>60000656 >>60000820 >>59998855 (You) no, they literally have to put a stick in it so they can stir it at the end so it doesn't explode in their faces or some s--- >>59998981 (You) No you frog. Take a glass measuring cup, measure out your water, microwave it for a few minutes, and wa la- boiling water. Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:41:16 No.59999046 Anonymous - 05/28/16(Sat)11:05:45 No.59999852 >>60000062 >>60000413 1462279830789.jpg (51 KB, 600x598) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:18:18 No.60000485 File: this can't be real.jpg (39 KB, 600x759) >this f------ thread I refuse to believe this whole microwaving water malarkey. Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:37:02 No.59998934>>59998981 >>59998877 No stick needed friend. You should try it, I've never even seen an electric kettle. >>59999169 We drink way more coffee than you, yet we don't MICROWAVE WATER to boil it top f------ kek bro onymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:13:52 No.60000344 ► >>60000138 Some of us do, some of don't. We make our own choices here in America and that's what makes this country beautiful Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:19:02 No.60000509 >>60000446 >inferior yuros don't even have static electicity CANT MAKE THIS S--- UP Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:40:20 No.60001006 lol microwave enjoy killing yourself Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:21:06 No.60000561 Don't you get a bunch of toxins leaking from the plastic into the water? Jesus Christ, it's like Euros don't use technology to it's fullest limits. Literally n------ 2bh Šery you had to Sock Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:42:52 No.59999085 > >>59999495 >>59999021 Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:44:17 No.599991 >wa la File: 1429726759680.jpg (40 KB, 500x540) >voilà >>5 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:46:03 No.59999170 >>59999241 File: LtaglRD.jpg (33 KB, 340x373) I thought "wa-la" was just a ck meme. But do they really say it like that? Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:48:37 No.59999241 >>59999170 Yeah we do. It's pronounced wa la senpai. >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:52:19 No.59999356 ► >>59999495 File: 1399126817321.png (6 KB, 390x470) >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:44:43 No.59999126 >>59999021 >wa la >>59999555 >caring about meme dialects >speaking french Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:53:14 No.59999389 >>59999325 t. Wa La HAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHHHAHASHHAHAHHAHAHSdkjashdasd Anonymous [05/28/16(Sat)10:51:23 No.59999323 >>59999287 i'll include you in the screencap >>59999323 (You) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:46:23 No.59999194 File: 1460896556001.jpg (217 KB, 785x900) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:58:32 No. Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:52:23 No.59999361 ► >>59999021 AYYYO DUDE i love you. JUST PUT ON YOUR SHOES AND WA LA YOU NEVER HAVE TO TAKE THEM OFF *claps* U Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:52:14 No.59999353 File: 1451208667809.jpg (13 KB, 232x232) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:53:33 No.59999397 ► >>59999241 It's "voila" you f------ retard Anonymous 05/28/ who /wa la/ here Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:59:58 No.59999605 Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:50:08 No.59999287 >>59999323 >>59999325 >>59999366 File: forgetthis.png (316 KB, 500x349) >>59999245 Please don't screencap this. I have enough reminders of my autistic countrymen already. Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:53:24 No.60001316 File: 1464250084817.jpg (14 KB, 480x480) >>59999021 >wal >a Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:45:35 No >>59999021 wallah bro Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:54:51 No.59999429 >>59999021 Wallah veli. >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:55:10 No.59999442 File: 1444725651424.png (474 KB, 1195x1089) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:32:38 No.60000820 >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)12:48:53 No.60002820 >>59999021 >wa la Wallah GLOBAL BOKER FACE ameriblobs thread when Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)12:17:05 No.60001933 File: 1463919656521.gif (1.71 MB, 500x500) >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)12:51:43 No.60002914 File: 1454329713841.gif (293 KB, 878x792) (9 >>59999021 wa la

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anon mistakenly believes self-improvement is possible | /r/Greentext

File: images (5).jpg (21 KB, 552x555) Anonymous 12/02/22(Fri)13:50:06 No.71229198 >>71229220 >>71229256 >>71229264 >>71229467 >>71229483 >>71229529 >>71229609 >>71230084 >quit p--- >got a girlfriend >got a job >worked out more >went outside more >creative interesting hobbies >ate better >applied christlike values and outlook >slept at good time >been with and without meds >drank more water and im still the same depressed melancholic mess ive always been. the fatigue is f------ unreal. im moving in slowmotion with 24/7 psychomotor retardation and not a bone in my body that wants to do or care about anything. f------ lovely. Anonymous 12/02/22(Fri)13:52:15 No.71229220 File: 1622428093758.jpg (12 KB, 258x245) >>71229198 (OP) >he fell for the improover meme

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anon bumps into a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 358 KB JPG 12/05/22(Mon)13:43:44 No.71272690 4 Replies >at university >accidentally bump into girl carrying papers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >I say something like "hey, it's like in the movies" >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" I r---- her What to do now anons? View Thread

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anon is a sub | /r/Greentext

File: 0453E618-A25D-4EB6-871B-A(...).jpg (143 KB, 750x556) full of intrusive thoughts get these stupid thoughts out of my brain Anonymous 12/02/22(Fri)15:54:38 No.28591884 >be me, femboy >get super hot sweet e-girl gf that loves me for who i am >ok with me crossdressing and even hrt eventually >>28591898 >>28591907 >we're both ultra bratty subs tho >try my best to switch for her but submissive urges flood my brain especially when the things im doing to her are things i want to be done to me >cant resist the urge of wanting to be pinned down and dominated >been relapsing with e-sex and posting lewds online for male validation what do i do, i dont want to hurt her she means the world to me but i just cant

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Know Your Meme

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